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Above, wearing this Elleme bag (quality is spectacular – really looks like Bottega to me!); Veronica Beard Taylor jeans in a different wash (similar here); Leset tee; Veronica Beard blazer (similar here).
P.P.P.S. Fall on my mind in this recent “Ask Magpie.”
By: Jen Shoop
We’re back with possibly my favorite series on Magpie: icebreakers for you to answer at your leisure. I absolutely treasure reading your responses, which are always clever, thoughtful, and surprising. Here goes.
+Your SSB.*
+Your current hyper-fixation meal.
+Name something you secretly want to do. Why haven’t you done it yet?
+Your house catches fire. After ensuring all loved ones and pets are safe, you have time to safely save one final item. What is it?
+First time you remember getting in trouble.
+Food kink.
+First kiss?
+First thing that comes to mind: the smell of birthday candles.
+If you could anonymously email your boss right now, what would you say?
+Who would be the first celebrity guest if you had your own talk show?
*SSB = “Secret single behavior,” a term from Carrie Bradshaw referencing what she’d do when without her boyfriend. Hers was slathering saltines with grape jelly, arranging them in a stack, and eating them standing up in her kitchen while reading Vogue.
****
+Your SSB.* Watching truly bad (we’re talking D-grade, 10%-on-Rotten-Tomatoes) romantic comedies and permitting myself to scroll through my phone while doing it. When Mr. Magpie and I are together, we hold ourselves to higher standards: we follow the one-screen-at-a-time rule (and will put our phones in a separate room or behind us while watching TV) and are particular, and thoughtful, about what we watch. There is something delightfully luxuriant, almost wanton, about eschewing these standards when he’s out of town.
+Your current hyper-fixation meal. Green smoothies – kale, banana, avocado, orange juice. We’ve been drinking these all summer long in lieu of breakfast and I crave them each morning! Weirder: last spring, I was obsessed with this combo for breakfast.
+Name something you secretly want to do. Why haven’t you done it yet? Publish a novel and go hut-to-hut hiking somewhere. On the novel front: I am still developing my craft, and know there is a lot of wood to chop with finding an agent, pitching, etc. I have also been heads down focused on making this blog the best it can be, and am still learning. But I intend to explore fiction during this decade of my life. On hut-to-hut hiking: it all comes down to childcare for our kids, and the limited number of vacations we’ve had for ourselves. I hope we will do this in the next few years…!
+Your house catches fire. After ensuring all loved ones and pets are safe, you have time to safely save one final item. What is it? A piece of art my parents gave us. We call her “the green girl,” and I love her.
+First time you remember getting in trouble. I covered my father’s brand-new, leather-topped desk with those fuzzy pads you put beneath furniture feet. It was destroyed. I still contend that my sister lured me into doing this (I was such a rule follower; I cannot comprehend my own behavior!), but my father couldn’t speak to me for a full day. It was almost worse than being punished outright!
+Food kink. Vinegar. I cannot get enough of it – I could drink it. I also really like those bad canned black olives that most people pick out of their food.
+First kiss? A boy named Kyle in fifth grade — a truth or dare situation! This was particularly awkward because I had my first boyfriend at that time and had, up to that day, refused to kiss him because I was scared. He was furious! I think he took back the Starter jacket he’d lent me on the asphalt that morning because of this — ha.
+First thing that comes to mind: the smell of birthday candles. The good-bad edge frosting on ice cream cakes.
+If you could anonymously email your boss right now, what would you say? “Keep going.” (I am my own boss.)
+Who would be the first celebrity guest if you had your own talk show? I mean, it’d have to be Glen Powell at this moment, right?!? But I’m also very intrigued by John Mayer, Richard Linklater, and Celine Song for different reasons. And if authors count: Ann Patchett, all day!
Your turn! Please copy and paste the prompts (some or all!) into the comments and share your cleverness with the Magpie community!
P.S. More recent rounds of icebreakers here, here, here.
Shopping Break.
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+Speaking of bright red: my cherry red shorts set was just restocked — top here; bottom here. I have found myself wearing them more as separates than together because I’m petite and the top is voluminous and the shorts are pretty long on me. You can see me styling with a swimsuit here! (15% off Sold Out with code JEN15.). The button-down top in white is a total wardrobe staple. I almost can’t believe she’s under $200 because the quality is insane (the silkiest, most luxurious handfeel) and the shape feels so high end (oversized, larger cuffs). Looks like a million bucks with jeans.
+Similar quiet luxury vibes: this under-$100 dress. So romantic. Could be good for a bride-to-be but would also look elegant on anyone with some simple brown leather sandals.
+Shared a few times already, but Z Supply has some great La Ligne-inspired striped knits for under-$100: this and this!
+Have had some inquiries lately from women in their 50s, 60s, 70s asking for everyday dresses. This RL (more sizes here) is spectacular and so perfect for fall in that rich chocolate hue.
+Absolutely love these biker shorts for my Heather Robertson fitness days, and they just came out in a fun raspberry color.
+Colored jeans, and especially brown ones, are trending for fall — love these in a rich dark chocolate hue.
+I’ve gone through 2 bottles of my beloved Osea cleanser and loveeee it, but am going to try this one next (recently won a few awards). I always like trying new beauty/skincare!
+This caftan dress is so interesting and different for a late-summer gathering. (I’d pair with a strappy sandal like this.) Mille’s Daisy dress is similar in shape, but less expensive (plus 15% off with JEN15).
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I wrote a little bit about this recently, but I’m in the mood for a new handbag this fall, and am contemplating making a designer purchase. I keep losing the plot when I dig into whether I should be buying a tote or crossbody — I think I’d get more daily use out of a tote, as I’m still in that phase of life where I might need snacks and distractions for the children, and am routinely schlepping items around — but my heart always wants something less practical.
Below, all my favorite bags for the upcoming season…
02. Similar in size and vibe, Longchamp’s cosmetics bag has been trending. Very chic, and reasonable at $100.
03. This Parker Thatch (seen above) is unlike anything else I’ve seen carried in DC recently. Bound to generate lots of “where’d you get that?” inquiries. Available in other great color combos. This is high on my list as an under-$1K contender for an everyday bag. I think it would fit everything you’d need but not be too big? I love the way it was styled here.
04. Another top contender (currently sitting in my cart; I might just order it!): this woven Elleme. It reminds me of the Bottega Sardine bags I saw and swooned over in Aspen! I love the hardware handle (have been noticing a lot of heavy gold hardware in jewelry, footwear, and handbags lately) and think it would be such a fabulous exclamation point for any outfit. I like that it could be worn for daytime (think jeans and a blazer) with the crossbody, and then worn with a cocktail dress in the evening, too, sans strap. I love all the styling notes / overall vibe of the brand’s Instagram account — it really makes the bag look much higher end (could it be Bottega?!)
06. Little Liffner is a new name to know — gorgeous details and interesting shapes. I included their mini bucket bag amongst my chocolate brown favorites this season.
07. Savette’s East-West pochette has been on my radar for two seasons now. Uber-elegant, and spectacular in that navy suede. I can’t decide if I think the shape is absurdly impractical for me — but it would be a perfect date night bag…
08. I spotted Toteme’s T-Lock on so many chic peas last fall and winter — a better price point than many other designers. Also love their tote — but is it too summery as a fall investment?
09. While talking totes, this Bottega is divine. Nicole Cassidy always looks so chic with hers.
10. For something a little more under the radar in a similar shape, Metier’s Cabas is droolworthy. I love the ones with the linen on top and leather on bottom.
11. Tod’s slouchy shopping bag also turned my head. On sale for nearly 50% off in select colors. This looks like a highly practical everyday bag — as does Cuyana’s understate chic “system” bag, which is a fraction of the price. I’ve seen this IRL and she’s gorgeous and practical. More similar in shape to the Tod’s, check out this gorgeous Banana Republic bag — love the surprise braiding on the handle.
12. Rue de Verneuil’s new denim options are beyond chic. Imagine with a gorgeous brown suede coat.
Earlier this summer, I shared a quote: “It is not necessary to react to everything we notice.” This has both inbound and outbound benefits. On the former: we conserve our energy for the things that matter to us; on the latter: sometimes (often times?) our loosely-offered opinions are uninvited, superfluous, even unintentionally wounding.
I’ve noticed something as I’ve called on this quote over the past few weeks. Oftentimes, my reaction to something wanes in intensity, changes course, or renders itself moot over a short period of time, and I regret the fervency of my immediate response. Why did I care so much? Why did I come out in bold all-caps?
Write in soft pencil, I remind myself. Not everything — in fact, only the scarce sacrosanct — deserves copperplate engraving.
This is not to say I cannot feel intensely and authentically, but that I must take care to when translating.
Because it is OK — likely — that I will change my mind, and I’d prefer the latitude to erase and try again, to write over my own penmanship without the stain of ink.
It is OK to not feel firmly about everything. Multiple things can be true at once.
There are situations that call for permanent ink, and others for pliable lead.
Post-Script.
+”Who are the five women you’d like to be the average of?”
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+Seriously eyeing a few items from AYR — their mail catalog just arrived last week and was so good, and included a code for 10% off with TAKEOFF! Have been eyeing the Early Mornings tee forever (sort of a hybrid between a tee and sweatshirt – love the lived-in look!) and might need it in that brown/white stripe. Also, their Secret Sauce jeans apparently sell out every launch…love them in the black?
+THE BEST day planner. I’ve used this for years now. Cheap, provides a ton of space to write out what you need to do each day, etc! Can’t recommend more. I’m also now hooked on these gel pens.
+My mom recently texted me asking for an undereye cream rec. I am still using Beyou’s $20 caffeine eye cream a lot of the time. My eyes were puffy earlier this summer – I think from allergies and poor sleep? – and this was so helpful. I had my makeup done a few weeks back and my artist asked: “who does your undereye botox?” !! It was not botox, it was this cream! So, I use that or UBeauty’s Return Eye Concentrate (20% off with code JENSHOOP). It’s much more expensive, but I find it more hydrating than Beyou. I basically alternate between the two depending on what my skin needs. If I’m looking puffy, it’s the Beyou; if I need hydration, it’s Ubeauty.
+We are about to buy my son a big boy bed! I’ve narrowed it down to Room & Board’s Parson bed, possibly in a fun color like red?, and PB’s Hamptons bed, probably in the brushed fog color. I also love C&B’s spindle bed, but we thought he might find it too babyish in a few years?
+I’m just beginning to look for his bedding — I absolutely love this duvet cover but the price is giving me pause (he’s five; this will be stained), so might do this striped duvet (about 1/2 the price) and pair with fun contrasting sheets like these stars, this space set, or these boats.
+Speaking of kids bedding – OMG. I’m dying over Roller Rabbit’s collab with PB Teen — these sheets! This backpack/lunchbox set! This shower caddy / laundry bag!
+Manolo recently released their iconic Maysales in delicious velvet colors. I’ve wanted a pair of these for years and years now. You can scratch the itch with these Larroudes (come in fun colors/fabrics) or these Amazons for even less. Really love the vibe of this shoe silhouette with the Colby pants.
+Hill House released a pre-fall collection last week — did my HHH girlies get anything? I love the tie shoulders on this dress.
+Niche, but – we’ve lost power a few times this summer, and my husband researched the best flashlights/lanterns/lamps, and this brand Sofirn came up over and over again. We bought a bunch of their lanterns and lamps and they are incredible! When our power went out during storm Debbie, a single one of these could light an entire room (and then some).
+This chic dress from Tory Burch just went on sale. I’m obsessed – wish it hadn’t sold out in my size.
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A few months ago, someone told me something that was difficult to hear – a sharp criticism that left me stammering, with heated cheeks. I could barely get my glass of water down to the table. I can’t recall what I said in immediate reply — it felt as though my ears and mouth had swollen closed. (Later, Mr. Magpie informed me I had nodded wanly and let the moment quietly go by.) I passed through the remainder of the afternoon as though submerged in water, with questions reaching me slowly, and with thick distortion. “Did you want another slice?” someone had asked, twice.
Later, two heads on a pillow, Mr. Magpie and I unpacked the damage, and gingerly, after I’d cried into his shirt. I told him that all afternoon, I’d felt an unkind desire to return the barb — or at least to point out how my critic was herself guilty of the same thing she found so unpleasant in me. I’d been lawyerly, crafting elaborate, airtight responses, dialing in on the errors and inconsistencies of her argument. But as I laid in bed, I told him that I also saw in my litigiousness a thin veil for the truth: that I was hurt, and sad. That I had not known she’d seen me that way, and was disappointed that someone could. And I knew that saying something sharp and cutting in response would do nothing–or worse.
We laid in bed with these thoughts. I considered myself, painfully, from new angles. I wondered what to say, or if I had to say anything. I asked why the comment had mattered so much to me: was it a people pleasing thing, or had she touched on some hypogean insecurity? I posited that there was some truth in the criticism. I examined the possibility that the comment was also a projection, or trigger response, on the part of the speaker. Mr. Magpie ran his hand up and down my leg as I rambled through these difficult explorations, occasionally interjecting with knowing looks or “but, Jen–” or, just, “I love you, Jennie.” Slowly, my umbrage gave way to tenderness. I dropped my crudely-formed defenses, and then my hurt, too, until I felt like the softest part of my pillow.
I learned something important that day. I would reflect on and learn from the actual criticism for some time, but this learning was agnostic to the specifics of that afternoon’s interaction. That day, I discovered how to be loving with myself even while experiencing conflict, and hurt. Too often in my life these moments have been shrouded with shame, the automatic assumption of fault, and subsequent self-torment, but that day, I was gentle with myself even as I explored the less-than-pleasant possibility that my critic was correct. I let myself be soft instead of hard.
Incredible, how much there is to learn, even at forty years old. I am still becoming myself after all.
***
Also this week —
Made Ina Garten’s Lemon Pound cake — absolutely delicious for breakfast with coffee, or as a citrus kiss after dinner.
Treated myself to an at-home blowout the day before we went out of town — new unlock! Such a luxury not to have to think about doing your hair for the first few days of a trip. I used Glamsquad — reminder: $20 off for new users with code JenniferS and $15 off for repeat users with code JenniferS15.
Diaries of a chronic overpacker // mini at the Garrett County Fair by Deep Creek Lake.
Back patio morning hanging at Deep Creek Lake
Dock stuff // boat stuff
Morning lawn baseball at Deep Creek Lake
Managed to read one book and start a second while traveling — new level of parenthood reached! // Back home, a moody hydrangea morning run during Storm Debbie
Stretched out our anniversary week (14 years!) by enjoying a bottle of champagne we’d been saving on Tuesday, cutting into a caramel cake from Caroline’s Cakes (DELICIOUS – will be sending these as gifts for Christmas!), and going out to dinner on Friday.
****
Shopping poetry: Tis the season of the denim dress. Just added this to my closet. // New UBeauty lip plasma colors. They just sent me the Idol and it’s such a great late summer hue! 20% off for new and returning customers with code JENSHOOP. // Ciao Lucia’s new collection is full of vintage-inspired pieces – obsessed with this little black ditty. // A lookalike for my Veronica Beard jacket I wore all last fall, but under $200. // Speaking of, no one does fall like Veronica Beard. I love their latest arrivals – all my top picks here. // Labels for your kids’ school gear! // Even though I wrote about back to school a few weeks ago, I dilly-dallied and was shocked to find very few navy walking shorts available for my son! (I’d also misread the uniform code – sounds like pull-on/drawstring shorts are a no-no now. Oops.) Gap and J. Crew Factory were sold out in the walking shorts! I managed to snag the last two of these in a size 5 and ordered a few less expensive pairs on Amazon – these, these – to test! Yikes!
By: Jen Shoop
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+GLENERGY: Glen Powell is everywhere all of the sudden. One of my guy friends said he was going to see “Twisters” in theater “because, Glen Powell,” as if that were a full explanation. At first, I didn’t understand his appeal (he seemed to me somehow a CGI version of a movie star? Clearly handsome but somehow manufactured?), but this sharp essay by cultural analyst Anne Helen Petersen piqued my interest, and I’ve since watched both “Hitman” and “Anyone But You,” — and, I get it now. The man has undeniable magnetism on the screen. I was fascinated by Petersen’s commentary around actors who seem to “like women” (versus not) and how this shapes part of Powell’s appeal. (And the way he performs the scene in “Anyone but You” in which he blows into Sydney Sweeney’s mouth to cool it off makes it difficult to read him any other way, IMO.) I now find myself applying this litmus to other screen actors, and it’s shaped several fascinating conversations with men and women alike. One of my biggest pet peeves is men who only speak to other men in social settings — Mr. Magpie and I have observed this many times over the years and find it a big turnoff, even if Mr. Magpie would otherwise be friends with the man in question. (I should add that this does also happen the other way — women who won’t engage with or speak to Landon, or who seem to only direct conversation toward the other women.) Anyhow, I might just need to go see “Twisters” this week…and P.S., if you’re a Glen girl, you will appreciate the way I absolutely sprinted to the comments section of this post, and it did not disappoint: “It should be illegal to let Glen Powell wear a backwards hat.” Dead.
+THE PARKER THATCH CHARLIE BAG: Ever since seeing this little mirror selfie, I couldn’t get this chic suede Charlie bag out of my head. It’s so unlike anything else I’ve seen, and I think it’s the perfect size. Also, not that it’s original to this fall, but suede seems to be a dominant texture in this fall’s assortment.
+THERE COMES MY HEART: This poem was just right as a morning read for my 14-year wedding anniversary this week. We celebrated with a bottle of champagne and dinner at Rabbit Moon, and talked about how lucky we are to have been in one another’s lives for more than half of our time on this earth.
+STEPHEN NEDOROSCIK LOVE: I’ve been laughing at all of the memes about American gymnast and pommel horse specialist Stephen Nedoroscik: “This is possibly the greatest moment for glasses in Olympic history”; “Gymnastics guy took off his glasses and turned into game 6 LeBron.” There was also a hilarious comment I can no longer find about how Nedoroscik’s stuck landing was “the sound of hundreds of romance novelists creating a story about a bespectacled nerd-turned-superhero-gymnast.” I love the way we are reading that moment as a text, as a culture.
+WEEZER LIVE SPOTIFY PERFORMANCE: Mr. Magpie was so into this recent live performance by Weezer in Spotify’s studios to celebrate the thirtieth (!) anniversary of their Blue Album’s release. Worth a watch if you were/are a fan — his editorializing between tracks spotlights his tremendous gift and creativity as a musician, and the allusiveness of his sound.
+READING: I started reading My Brilliant Friend, per your rec! (Many of you love this book so much you repeat it! More of our favorite books to repeat here. A lot of Austen with a side of The Idea of You — ha!) I had been warned it would be slow to start, but it’s been moving apace, and I find her stripped-down writing exceptional. She captures the shard-like, imprecise way kids internalize information so accurately. Will share full thoughts soon – please read along with me so we can talk!
+BESTSELLERS: Lots of you invested in this chic fall blazer this past week. (It’s also in my fall wardrobe! Everything in my fall closet already here.) A brilliant buy, I must say – perfect with white jeans or shorts now; transition to pairing with full length denim and over dresses and blouses come fall.
SOLD OUT NYC TEE (15% OFF WITH JEN15) // HHH DELPHINE SKIRT (LAST SEASON PATTERN, NEW PATTERNS HERE) // HERMES ORAN SANDALS (LOOK FOR LESS HERE)
Finally, a little try-on for inquiring minds — been getting a lot of questions about the La Ligne Colby pants, which sell out in each launch. (10% off sitewide at La Ligne for first time purchasers with code. MAGPIE10) Mine arrived and I guess I didn’t read closely but they are a crepe material — not silky like I expected. Almost more like a poplin with sheen? I love them! They run TTS (I took an XS) and I will need to have them hemmed by 2″ or so (I’m 5’0). I am going to have them hemmed with heels in mind, but they’d also be chic with a flat sandal. I’m wearing below with this fabulous J. Crew top (under $50 — love the contrasting cuffs) and this striped sweater over my shoulders, and then also styled with just the sweater.
When I was young, I felt I needed to know everything, or pretend I did. “She doesn’t even know long division,” a third grader tossed out in my direction, and my cheeks went pink as I insisted the contrary. I’d heard my brother talk about it, had seen the strange arc-hurdle line he’d draw to separate the smaller number from the bigger one, and yet its mechanics were as caliginous to me as the dark of the nook beneath our basement stairs, in which we’d hide candy wrappers and other verboten objects from my parents, and occasionally force one another to hide. We’d sit there in abject horror, feeling the cold concrete walls closing in on us as we’d spy apparitions of gnashing teeth and the phantom legs of venomous spiders. Nothing grows in the dark but our worst imaginations.
That night, I went home and asked my brother to teach me. We sat at the white table in the breakfast room, whose checkerboard floors were heated in the cold months by the clanking and occult HVAC directly beneath, and I pressed the pads of my feet to its warming flint as I watched my brother’s Ticondaroga mark up the page in what looked like witchcraft. Outside the window, the bare November branches turned to talons in the tenebrous dim. My brother would look over at me through his glasses to gauge my apprehension, and I’d nod agreeably as his explanations ricocheted off of me like rain on rubber.
“Good, good,” he said, satisfied. I smiled weakly and took the paper to my room and studied its necromancy as I descended into an uneasy peace with my unknowing.
It took me a long, long time to see that being a draft was not demotive. To understand that we are in a constant state of learning and unlearning, becoming and unbecoming. That we are as fluid and flowing as the fringetrees by the playground we frequented those D.C. springs of my youth. In June, they flaunt their fleecy panicles; in January, they stand still and bare as stick figure drawings. Like us, they are in a state of constant rewriting.
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+This navy dress arrived and she is SO flattering and chic — omg. She’s 40% off; you need her, too. I felt instantly like I was an elegant, tall European woman embarking on her important day. (She really makes you look taller than you are! Very elongating and slimming.)
+Sezane brought back its chic Clarine skirt in a GREAT dark wash denim. I own this in the lighter wash denim and have gotten a ton of use out of her. Looks so chic with just a simple tee tucked in.
+La Ligne vibes for under $100. Get these to pair with the Colbys / these silky J. Crew pants!
+Chic, unfussy canvas pouches to organize your everyday tote.
+Mille is offering an extra 50% off their sale section with code EXTRA50OFF this weekend only! Treat yourself to one of their punchy Charlie tops (with code, like $62!) or cute Daisy dresses ($80 with code!)
+Ancient Greek is running a sale, too! Sadly, their jellies are not included, but these Eleftherias are. I own and love these in the tan leather, but the silver are really fun and would be a great option for dressier events where you don’t want to wear heels.
+I own this breezy shirtdress in two fabrics (navy linen and denim) and adore both. I was just thinking this would be a great maternity-to-nursing buy — loose-fit but chic, would accommodate a growing bump, perfect for breastfeeding, and then obviously can be worn after! Try code ESCAPE or SUMMER50 for $50 off.
+Oo, this barn coat looks so much like the ones from Prada! Look for even less here. These and chore jackets are the coveted silhouettes for fall outerwear.
+The Great just launched a capsule of their “Collectors Pieces,” a “tightly edited collection of Americana classics and wearable treasures.” Lots of great wardrobe staples to remix for years to come — love the drape of this striped sweater.
By: Jen Shoop
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First, a little heads up to let you know that Minnow is running one of its rare sales starting today! I usually buy a few suits in a size or two up for my kids for the following season using this promo! I love their boardies for my son in particular.
Q: Statement denim jacket for fall.
A: Go with this unexpected red one from VB (seen above)! The shape is SO good and unexpected, and I feel like that brick red color would look incredible with white, navy, brown, all shades of denim! So good! Or, major splurge, the Loewe jacket I’ve mentioned dozens of times! I’ve been seeing a lot of cool denim jackets with contrasting cord collars, probably inspired by the Loewe — chic micro-trend. Love this one, this one. Not denim, but this canvas barn coat with the contrast collar is epic and sure to sell out by October. And no contrast collar, but the chore style of jacket is trendy this season again — love this under $100 one, and this $150 one. Such great lines!
Q: How does the Doen dressyou got from the latest launch run?
A: I normally size down in Doen, taking an XXS instead of my usual XS, which is what I did with the Marielle (see me in it here). It does fit but BARELY – runs a tad narrow, especially at the button waist. I would advise taking your true size!
Q: We are expecting our first baby in November (a girl!) and I have three (THREE!) baby showers coming up in September. One hosted by MIL in Savannah, another hosted by my girlfriends in our town of Charleston, and a third by my mom and her circle of friends in the upstate of SC. A very busy month, but an exciting month indeed! I would love any and all recommendations for outfit inspo.
A: So exciting for you! Congrats. You will be towards the end of your pregnancy and in still-hot areas, so I’d advise loose-fit caftans. I love the ones from Mi Golondrina (this, this); Asha (lots of colors available); Tuckernuck; Maravic; or (splurge) one of the ones from La Vie Stylehouse or Loretta Caponi. If you’re after something with a bit more shape…
Q: Pulled together everyday looks. Easy tops for my sitting at my desk.
A: I have a few different formulas I love: 1) I love a throw-on dress like this or this. Effortless and polished. Throw on with leather sandals now, loafers later. 2) A fuller skirt with a polished tee and layered gold necklaces. 3) A structured / interesting top to pair with white shorts or jeans, like this, this, this, or, of course, a great button-down.
Q: Black tie optional wedding in NJ end of September. Petite friendly.
A: Not sure what’s on your agenda, but I like the idea of a chic, elevated top like this with wide leg jeans, and brown suede sandals (look for less with these). I feel like the key is to look easy-polished, and the sandal makes things feel a bit simpler. Pair with gold jewelry. If you don’t love brown, try a top like this with the white jeans. If the reunion is dressier, try this, this, or this, again with the flat sandal. Another option for day: the trending Colby pant (look for less) with a polished tee, button-down, or (if chillier) stripe sweater (look for less).
Q: Chic toy storage for our apartment living room.
A: I love these nested under a console table, or if you need a stand-alone structure, something like this or this — we used something almost identical in NYC and these were fantastic because the bins hide clutter but make items still accessible to little hands, and you can also line up books in some of the cubbies. Double check the cubby size but most are 13×13 (or around there) and you can find lots of cute bin options at Target.
Q: Fall work outfits for a business setting.
A: A blazer like this would be a fabulous starting point investment. You can pair with those trending silky pants (look for less); dark wash denim (if permitted in your office); kick flares; a polished skirt. A shirtdress like this or this is a forever piece, too.
Q: My sister is getting married in December. Need a long, black formal dress. Dramatic!
Beginning to hunt for fall denim — these chocolate brown beauties are so good. They’re less of a barrel fit, but Gap has a really chic pair in chocolate brown, too — I think I’ll order these in the petite length. I have really good luck with Gap denim. The fit and quality are always incredible, especially given the reasonable price.
Other favorite finds so far this season: this wide leg is classic — or maybe opt for this tan. LOVE this Madewell barrel jean (and so do you Magpies – these were a bestseller this past week) and this dark wash crop.
As I mentioned last week, I think the barrel / gaucho styles will remain relevant this season, as will wide legs — so hang onto those or contemplate an investment. These AYRs, these La Lignes, and these Pistolas nail a just-enough-of-the-barrel-trend balance. These Agolde Dames or any of Veronica Beard’s Taylor styles are very trendy for wide legs. The cuffed wide leg style was super in last year; I’d go with these for the year ahead.
If you like the wide-leg look but think you’ll drown in them, consider Agolde’s Ren — a wide-ish leg but a sleek, high-rise silhouette that shows some ankle. Vibe for less with this Gap pair.
Most of my friends (like, at least half) swear by Mother jeans. They release silhouettes that just work and fit great — plus, they have a dedicated petites section. I find a lot of their styles are airplane-comfortable. Their Hustlers are specifically a fantastic, slimming fit for tucking into boots. I really want to try this style (modified barrel / gaucho / etc), but it keeps selling out.
On the dress front: I recently shared a bunch of my favorite denim dresses, but with an eye toward transitioning pieces into fall, I’d consider this and this. So good with a leather sandal or a tall boot as it gets colder. And I’m still obsessing over VB’s denim waistcoat (so good with white jeans!) — look for less with this.
Finally, denim jackets! I’m drooling over this Loewe. I did find this Nili Lotan with a similar contrasting cord collar but it doesn’t have that swingy shape to its body — a bit more tailored — and I still think this boxy Gap steal would be a good way to scratch the itch. Or how about this La Ligne chore jacket?! If those are too boxy / boyish for you, you might consider this tailored denim jacket from JCrew Factory!
A few weeks ago, I came across a post on Cup of Jo sharing a parenting hack designed to help her boys stop bickering. In it, Joanna shares that she started doling out “nice points” to deter her kids from fighting and incentivize them to find ways to be kind to one another. Once they reached a certain threshold of points, she treated them to something they wanted — a family game of baseball at a local field. I read this with glancing interest. Her children are older than mine, and so I squirreled it away for future reference. I like to collect and reflect on the parenting wisdom of more tenured mothers so that when the time comes, I can explore their usefulness with my own children. I did not anticipate its immediate application. Because one afternoon in the middle of July, I had absolutely reached my limit with my children’s pushiness and strident tones toward one another. It felt as though we couldn’t get through ten minutes without petty squabbling. “Stop touching my napkins,” followed by “Mama, Hill’s looking at me.” Good Lord! Their footling friction was driving us insane. We ran through the circuit of responses each and every day: careful modeling of how to work through disagreements; proposing alternative solutions; “work it out yourselves”; forced separation. Nothing seemed to be working. Then, at the pool one afternoon, my daughter offered to get an ice pop for herself and her brother, and she picked cherry for him, knowing red was his favorite color. I beamed at her, and praised her for her thoughtfulness. But we’ve found it a very effective way to encourage them to think about how to be helpful, and kind. Sometimes they’ll clear all the plates on the table for one another, or let the other one go first at something they both want to do, and they’ll call out: “kindness points!” on their own.
I’m perhaps a bit leery of attaching a reward (even something of no trade-in value) to the very basics of courtesy, grace, and thoughtfulness. But in a different sense, it lets them know how much we value kindness in our home: it has its own prized and separate currency.
I don’t know how long we’ll keep this up (we did something similar with actual coins when they were a bit younger to reward them when they’d say “please” and “thank you” — they’d deposit a penny into a shared piggy bank each time they’d do it and eventually we were able to sunset this), but in this midsummer peak of sibling discord, it has been a welcome tool. I can’t say it’s necessarily attenuated the volume of bickering, but it’s been a strong counterbalance, and a good reminder, too, as a parent. Because sometimes I get to the end of the day and I think, “Today was just one long melee after another with those two,” and I can interrupt myself with: “But there were many kindness points, too.”
How do you handle bickering among your children? Have any strategies worked well, or backfired?
+Matryoshka — a moment in which my daughter returned to me in all her beautiful ages.
+Long days of parenting. (If you’re here today, I feel you so hard. I was there all last week. Just remember that today is not the final draft in your motherhood.)
Shopping Break.
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+I have gotten so, so much use out of this white eyelet maxi skirt this summer. I love it paired with a white tank, with a blouse tucked in, with a striped tee — just timeless, and I always feel so elegant in it. It’s currently 50% off. I think it was this skirt that transformed me into a “separates gal” for most of this summer — historically, I’ve worn so many dresses but I’ve really enjoyed skirts/shorts this season.
+Speaking of white eyelet, obsessed with this $140 dress. Would be so good for a summer concert. (Another concert outfit idea here.) More chic eyelet picks here!
+Hotel Lobby just restocked my favorite candle – tomatoes, fresh air, sunshine! I’ve been burning all summer. It sold out earlier this year!
+I’m telling you, this is the best mascara ever. And I’ve tried so many brands — including ones 3-4x its price. The best. All of my favorite $20-or-less beauty products here. (But if you’re looking for a clean mascara, this one is excellent; and if you’re looking for a lash-growth mascara, you’ve got to try this one.)
+Random, but buying a few extra pairs of scissors is such a small way to introduce more grace into your life. Why was I always sprinting around for one pair of scissors? Now I have them in lots of places — and exactly where I need them. In my gift wrapping bin, at my desk, in our junk drawer, etc. Treat yourself. Small life improvement. I did the same with box cutters. I now have them scattered throughout the house. I like these ones with the ceramic blade because my kids are around and it’s not as terrifying/sharp as a metal blade.
+Another minor but serious life upgrade: buying lots of inexpensive white towels to use to wash my face. I go through one a day and just toss it in a little wire bin to clean every few days. There is nothing more luxurious than a big stack of fresh towels that you don’t need to worry about ruining with makeup! I specifically like these ones – perfect shape and thickness. I know the picture on the site is weird but trust me.
+OO loving Beyond Yoga’s new colors — I love their sports bras, leggings, and tanks. The coral and mint colors together are so good.
+J. Crew Factory has some solid, classic finds for little boys at reasonable prices, especially during this BTS buying season: these boat shoes; striped henleys; classic crewnecks. I also love these dock shorts, with their slightly shorter inseam (hit above knee). I bought a bunch in navy for his uniform.
+When you travel, what are your favorite makeup removing wipes? Are they all about equal?! I’ve historically used Neutrogena or Billie, but just picked up some of these Honest ones.
+I mentioned over the weekend that rugby shirts are trending for fall for women, but also came across these good looking options from Gant for men! (Also available in stripes.) I bought Mr. Magpie one of the slimmer fit rugby shirts from Kule two years ago and he loves it — looks so handsome on him with jeans! I might get the boxier Gant one for him for this season. Love the navy!
+This dramatic, ruffled trench is SO good. I’ve been noticing that some of the trend-predicting fashion Substackers have been saying draping and romantic shapes will be coming back in (a lot of them referenced Chloe’s most recent show) and this feels like it’s a solid portent.
+A Magpie asked for a great statement belt for fall last week: found another great option. (20% off with JENS).
I know a big part of my sudden reach for chocolate brown is conditioned by the arrival of fall and pre-fall collections at some of my favorite brands, but I can’t help it! Above, wearing my Julia Amory “Babe Pants” (run a tad small — took my true size and they are snug! Go up if between sizes!) with a Quince sweater (upgrade pick: La Ligne!) and this Amazon bag.
A few of my favorite finds in this sophisticated color:
01. An elevated late summer-to-early-fall maxi dress.
07. These Amazon boxers in “khaki.” (I own in red. These would look great with an oxford blue button down.)
08. I’m seeing a lot of suede at the appearance of fall collections — if you’re in need of a bucket bag, this would be my pick.
09. This designer inspired hair clip. (I bought several for myself and a few as little gifts!)
10. Barrel jeans are relevant again this fall. I love this chocolate pair from Frame.
11. Perfect end-of-summer lounge set in “coffee bean stripe.”
12. Suede suede suede! These loafers from Freda Salvador are on my fall wishlist.
13. The mini version of the Longchamp Le Pliage that’s been sweeping the internet. I love in the shade “fawn.” Timeless and will serve you well into the colder months. Look for less here.
P.P.S. On the ancient pleasure of story: ” This is why we take children to see art. This is why we read to them at night, and turn a blind eye when their flashlights flicker in the eiderdown, and invite their interpretations of film and fabric. We are pinning the stars they will one day constellate as they search for meaning, connection, hope, or the ancient pleasure of an asterism in the night sky.”
