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So many spectacular new finds this week! A small glimmer for me: sitting down to a fresh batch of new arrivals from Shopbop with my morning coffee. I love to save my favorites to my hearts — it always turns out to be a seasonal mood board of sorts. From the composite below, I can tell I have my mind on holiday celebrations, fitness, and imminent warm weather getaway.
P.P.S. On-the-go children’s activities (<<not a bad idea to stock up on a few if you will be on the road / going to family events / restaurants / etc!) and sensory play ideas for children (<<good starting point if you have a long holiday break ahead!)
P.P.P.S. On the notion of deep play for us adults.
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Q: My almost-three-year-old girl. Birthday right after Christmas.
A: Happy birthday to your little lady! I feel you – it is hard to scramble into a second gift-buying spree right after the holiday! Does she have any Maileg mice or accessories? Such a sweet set to start collecting — we’ve been collecting since mini was born. Also love dress-up for this age — this set from Sarah’s Silks, a princess dress from Great Pretenders, or the Aeromax space suit with matching helmet. Art supplies are always a hit. I love the craft kits from Kid Made Modern and the implements from Ooly. Finally, a doll baby? Mini loved her mini carolle doll from 12 months until she upgraded to American Girl maybe around four, but I think a three-year-old would love one, too. She still plays with all the little accessories, especially this bath tub set my MIL got her.
A: Love that dress, too. Actually surprised myself by how much I’ve worn it! Not typically a figure-hugging-dress kind of gal, but this one felt so much more wearable. Anyhow, similar, chic options: this Banana, this Boden, this Misa, this Vineyard Vines, this Staud, and this Missoni (splurge!)!
Q: A holiday party outfit when I’m still feeling a little postpartum. Looking for chic and cool. Sigh!
A: You need this Sezane! So fabulous but loose-fitting and comfortable. Parisian-chic vibes.
A: My favorite everyday winter boots are the No. 6 clog boots. Perfect with everyday jeans / sweaters. Go up one size in these to account for winter socks (and they run a bit small/narrow to boot). They are SO warm and comfortable, and I like the Scandi-chic vibe. They do work well in rainy/drizzly weather too. If you mean a proper snow boot? I’m partial to Sorel. I have the Joan of Arc’s from my heavy-duty-snow-days back in Chicago, but would have picked these slightly lower key ones if you live in a less frigid/snow-dense area. For slightly more stylish everyday wear, I’ve been living in these Isabel Marants. I love the way they look both with dresses and with jeans.
Q: Still searching for holiday party outfits. Festive but in Michigan.
A: Go for fun statement sweaters! I just picked up this beauty and she’ll look amazing with jeans and a turtleneck or gussied up over a metallic skirt. Also love this Anthro, this Zara, this Alex Mill, this Doen.
Q: Nice Christmas lunch outfit.
A: I’m thinking of a fab festive blazer like this, this, or this with trousers!
Q: Picture frame under $150.
A: Anthro has some really beautiful / fun ones. I love these striped ones! These marbleized ones also caught my eye recently. If you’re looking for something more classic/traditional, Pottery Barn has great options at reasonable prices.
Q: Question for a future post: casual everyday crossbody/bag (small) that has the ease and convenience of a belt bag but isn’t a belt bag.
A: I love my FRP Collection Sylvia bag for this use case. Perfect size, fun shape, great color options. I wear my constantly in the summer (I have in the mint!) but would also work well in winter months. Somehow the square shape keeps everything in place and easy to find.
Q: Shopping question for future post- men’s winter coat for January in New York. Appropriate for work but not too formal.
A: He needs this Herno! Warm but can be worn over dressier clothes. Also always love a wool topcoat. I like how men are styling these down these days — my husband wears over suits but also over his hoodies!
Q:For future post– word inspiration for a baby shower toast (my older brother’s first baby). The words aren’t coming to me!
A: This is so hard! My top tip is to speak from the heart vs. try to be funny (though there is so much pressure to be entertaining!) I would probably think about the traits in your brother that you think will make him an exceptional dad. Like what did he do to help “raise” you? Finally, if you can’t think of anything, the absolute best parenting advice I’ve received over the years, in various situations and permutations, is to trust yourself as a parent. You are the expert in your kid! Drown everyone else out and listen to your intuition. If there’s a way to fold that in, I know it will be cherished!
Q: Splurgey beauty gift.
A: This Susanne Kaufmann bath oil, which people absolutely lose their minds over (I’ve wanted to try for years!), or this UBeauty kit (currently 20% off!). Anything Chanel, too – the package delivers a major wow factor.
Q: Stocking stuffers for my husband.
A: I hope Mr. Magpie isn’t reading this far (if you are, STOP) — this Zippo match set (light even in rain/wind — great for an all-weather grilling enthusiast), this spoon rest, Marvis toothpaste, German mustard tube, Mack Weldon boxer briefs, back-up incense cones (we both love lighting our German incense smoker throughout the holidays, through NYE), Clarins skincare!
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By: Jen Shoop
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I mentioned last week that I’m intending to get ahead of my New Year’s goals by kickstarting them this month. One of them — honestly, the only crisp one at the moment — is amping up my fitness regimen. (Beyond this, I typically choose a word/intention for the year and try to return to it as often as possible in my reflections, writings, and the loose personal accountings I complete at the end of each day. In year’s past, I’ve set “gentleness” and “flow” as my intentions. I’m still grasping for 2024’s.) I had hoped this week to schedule my first personal training session but this weekend’s stomach bug as placed that plan on hold. In lieu, sharing some fitness finds to help me rev up for my fitness goals in 2024 —
01. I ordered these leggings and this cropped cami. The color is so good!
02. These long-sleeved performance tops (currently on sale for $21 apiece) are in my cart. Great colors!
03. Have been eyeing these bone conduction running headphones (Magpie rec!) for a long time. I keep sitting on them because I just treated myself to an expensive pair of noise-canceling headphones for my desk and it feels so splurgey to buy another set of headphones, especially when my current ones still (kind of, fuzzily) work, and I now have some AirPods that will no longer be getting much use during my day. Still, I recently went on a deep dive on Reddit looking for running gear recs and these were consistently mentioned as a “must-have” because you can listen to music but still be aware of your surroundings.
04. Love the look of these ribbed tanks from Lulu. Great colors, too. Perfect layering.
06. My favorite sports bra ever. Really soft / non-constricting but not as flimsy as most bralettes. If it’s clean in my drawer, I will reach for it over all of my other options. Just found on sale and bought a few!
07. Another top vote-getter via Reddit? The Garmin Forerunner watch. I own this, too, and I LOVE her. I’ve used the Apple Watch, too, but I prefer the Forerunner and she’s worked perfectly for nearly eight years now. She’s sturdy and simple and accurate. I like the manual buttons on the side because you don’t need to drag your sweaty fingers over the screen. You can pause/stop/start without even looking down. Sometimes “analog” is the way!
09. My favorite running shoes, in fun new colors. The sparkly purple is the stuff of my childhood dreams.
10. Feetures socks remain my favorite ever. These were a Magpie reader rec years ago and I’ve never looked back. They are thick and cushiony and this particular style never slips down.
11. Another big conversation piece among runners on Reddit: a Flipbelt. I own something similar (this Aqua Belt), but this has been a huge improvement for me, as I’m nearly always running with my phone, keys, and card case. (And now Birdie, too, which I clip to my Aqua belt.)
12. Fitness headbands in the happiest rainbow of colors.
13. Closely eyeing a few of the sweatshirts from Varley. I love the length of this style and the way it cinches at the waist. Target has an inspired-by version of one of Varley’s sweatshirts for under $30 here.
Was it intactness I sought? Some staged, even ersatz, gesture of closure? The fruition to which every good narrative appeared to progress: “the end” in droopy script letters?
Was this why I never understood Borges? Could not bear the asymmetrical, the dangling? (There are rules to follow — didn’t he know?)
But there are no straight lines in nature,
And real life bends and refracts according to its own temperaments.
I think a part of the wisdom earned by age is accepting that not everything resolves to a fine point. We may never get the the resolution, the explanation, the apology (or forgiveness, as the case may be). We may not find the caesura.
And yet —
“Everything is OK,” is what I tell my daughter when she is flailing and upset, whether she has been the culprit of the drama or its unsuspecting victim. This is my way of saying that feelings are not facts, that this, too, shall pass, that beneath the piercing intensity of the moment is the soft landing of her everyday life, in which her stuffed animals lay on her bed, and her shoes sit by the door, and her parents will read her a bedtime story each night before she drifts off into that hard slumber of childhood. Everything is OK — the reassurance to which I so often cling myself when I am upset, too. Not to erase the emotions, but to remind myself that I will make it through. To re-center. To draw all the good bits of my life about me, ramparts for the wounded. A girlfriend of mine wrote me a note when I was going through a tough situation in which she said: “I feel like objects of devotion are important in these times — like something you can wear around your neck or keep in your pocket to touch as a reminder that life is happening, you will feel things, and you will survive, you know?”
So, two strategies for this Wednesday, and I apologize for the heaviness of this post during this season of merriment, but perhaps you need it, too? First, to remind yourself that everything is OK, even when you are lost in irresolution; and second, to find a talisman to remind yourself “that life is happening, you will feel things, and you will survive.”
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Shopping Break.
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
+My large Paravel tote is on sale for 50% off. It is SO good. It’s not waterproof but I do use it for pool days (also great for travel, picnics, park days) because it carries so much, is lined inside, and has pockets that you can use to zip up wallet / phone / etc. Really good for any situation you’re schlepping a bunch of gear.
+I know a lot of you bought this cult-following tee last week after I mentioned it (now only available for pre-order — keeps selling out!) — I have this turtleneck from the same brand on its way to me. You know I live in a turtleneck in the winter months.
+I have still not found my ideal Christmas Eve dress! I had been eyeing this Damaris Bailey but it sold out in my size, and now I think I’m drawn to this patterned velvet? Or maybe do something a bit different and go with this black dress (the bows!)?
+I wore this sequin skirt to a holiday party last weekend and got so many compliments on it. Two people separately referred to my outfit as “fabulous” and someone came up to me and said, “You must be in fashion.” HA! I was so flattered! The skirt is a winner. I paired with this J. Crew turtleneck and burgundy heels similar to these.
+Another good under-the-tree pick for kids: a wall calendar. My children love them and they are great for helping them visualize/conceptualize how far we are from certain dates (start of school, play dates, birthdays). My children like to x out each day just before bedtime. A lovely kind of ritual. This year, I bought this one for my daughter and this one for my son. One of my favorites from a year or two ago was this Snoopy one — comes with really cute stickers my daughter loved to affix to the appropriate date.
+I need some upgraded loungewear. This past few days of illness has made clear I’m set in the pajama department (though I do really want to add these to the lineup), but I am very light on winter loungewear (specifically bottoms) outside of true performance gear for running. Eyeing these from Vuori, and these from Mate the Label. Also loving these sweatshirts from Left on Friday?
+I wildly underestimated how incredible these acne patches are from Rael. Not only do they help minimize and get rid of acne very quickly, but the waterproof cover means you aren’t constantly touching the area and exacerbating the problem. A must-have.
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A stomach bug made its unsolicitous rounds in our home this past weekend, and we are just emerging from the malaise. It’s been going around my children’s school (in one of the pre-K classes, 60% of the students were out with it last week!), and some of my friends and their children at other local schools have also caught it. A nasty business. This is my public supplication to pick up an eight pack of Gatorade, a package of mini saltines, and ginger ale at your next visit to the grocery store. (One Magpie also recommended stocking the freezer with Pedialyte pops for these situations.) We had two of the three tonics on hand but Gatorade was the only thing I needed or wanted on Sunday at 10 PM, and we were out, so I placed an emergency Instacart order (God bless Instacart!). I’d requested lemon-lime, informed precisely by these sentiments (ha!):
Haha! I was accordingly distraught when the Instacart shopper let me know the Safeway was out of lemon-lime. (A friend let me know it was probably she and her family who’d bought out the entire stock of lemon-lime the day before, when her family was struggling through the worst of the bug.) The shopper found one solo lemon-lime Gatorade in a separate cooler after checking out and bought it for me with his own money, writing “Hope you feel better soon!” I welled up with gratitude at the unexpected generosity.
Anyhow, we are through the woods. In my feverish, aching state, I did manage to reach the end of the Internet, though — and thought I’d share some of the fruits of that pursuit:
01. Have you seen The Velveteen Rabbit on Apple TV? We watched it together, as a sad, sick family of four, and it was the most charming balm. The morning after, my daughter reported that she’d had a dream she was the sister of William (the main character) and that when the doctor instructed his family to burn all of the sheets, pajamas, and toys he’d used while sick, she had gone out to the store and purchased him a new velveteen rabbit. She also said she saw herself in the little girl that lived next door (“I looked like her, and I would have also asked William to play”). I was touched and a little surprised by the focused ways in which she was writing herself into the movie, relating to the characters in specific ways and extending the narrative to include ideal endings she would have preferred. A specific kind of magic, to see your daughter reading texts deeply and imaginatively. May I also extol the virtues of a G-rated, 60-minute movie?! These are so difficult to come by these days. The film was beautifully shot, styled, and edited, and my husband and I enjoyed it as much as the children, who sat in rapt attention the entire time. Just gorgeous.
02. At the depths of my ailment, I could not bring myself to read, scroll, or watch anything on the TV. I find audiobooks ideal, non-demanding company for these situations. I put on Jane Eyre, narrated by Thandiwe Newton, and it was deeply soothing. I’d forgotten how gorgeous — ornate, and intricate, like a paper snowflake — the language is in the book, and Newton’s voice is spectacularly mollifying.
03. I signed up to bring in holiday goodie bags for my son’s pre-K class with another mom, and we both decided that in lieu of the standard goody bag of trinkets (dum-dums, stickers, stamps, bracelets), we’d buy one slightly bigger thing for each child. The goody bags always wind up much more expensive than you’d think, and most of them end up in the garbage. We decided to buy these “surprise Christmas squishmallow” pods — one for each child in the class — instead. I don’t know about your children, but mine are obsessed with Squishmallows! Both asked for them on their Christmas lists. We also talked about buying a bunch of Christmas board books so each child could pick one to bring home — that would have been the better, more educational pick — but we went with fun this year.
04. I ordered a few packs of this fancy truffle popcorn to bring as hostess gifts over the coming weeks for various holiday gatherings.
05. I’ve finished nearly all of my shopping, but still need a couple of stocking stuffers for the kids. I did buy mini some Taylor Swift bracelets and a Swiftie sticker to put on her water bottle. I always give them fresh packs of markers but am struggling with other ideas this year. Will report back once I work through this mental block!
06. I shuffled into and out of like five pairs of Lake Pajamas this weekend, and found myself longing to buy one of their kimono pajama sets. They’re made of the same material as the Relax Set, but I love the wrap style top. I also love this pattern they just released a few weeks ago. As I’ve mentioned hundreds of times, these make the best gifts. You can still order to receive in time for Christmas. If you’re procrastinating, just order a pair of jammies for your mom/sis/MIL and know it will not disappoint.
07. Speaking of comfort-wear, my order from Negative is finally en route to me (took a minute to ship!) and I can’t wait to try. So many of you have written to rave about everything this brand does. My exact order here — their “whipped” pieces sell through fast! I’ve seen a few pieces/colors sell out since I’ve purchased. I’m already itching to place a second order with some of their waffle collection.
08. Has anyone tried the athleisure from Mate the Label? I love the silhouette of this set, especially in the “bone” color. Heavily marketed to me while I was unwell this weekend and I’m falling prey.
09. [ED NOTE POST-PUBLICATION: Thanks to Magpie reader Caitlin, I now know the provenance of the reel I mention in this section: It’s from @chanwiththeboys on Instagram, and viewable here.] I wish I could find this Instagram reel, but I lost it somewhere in the past few days of illness — anyhow, it’s a video of a mom who works inside the home waking up at 5, making her three young boys breakfast, and talking about how she always makes herself “get out the door” each morning, no matter what. Even when it feels daunting to get three boys dressed and into their carseats. Even when she would rather just stay put. Her “secret”? “Lower expectations.” She makes the point that if her children are going to have a big breakfast (in the video, she makes them eggs and bacon and fruit), she is not going to have time to get herself properly ready, and that’s OK. Vice versa, too: if she takes the time to apply makeup, get fully dressed, her kids will have a simpler breakfast — cereal. And that’s OK. Sometimes the outing is just to the post office, or to the grocery store, or to the park. All OK. I watched this and thought how absolutely true it was. How much I have railed against these truths, too. I have wanted it all: myself, made up and dressed; my children, eating full and complete breakfasts and dressed in beautiful outfits; a full roster of festivities. We went to see Santa before we all got sick this weekend, and I was charmed and impressed by how beautiful the children in attendance looked — tartans, fair isles, knee socks, patent leather Mary Janes — but it mainly made me think of all of the invisible work that had gone into getting these children dressed and to the event on time. I did the same thing, of course. And I suppose my point is that everything costs something, or displaces something? And sometimes that cost is worth it. We want the beautiful picture with Santa, the memory, the feeling of festivity — that’s OK. But sometimes it’s not worth it, and that’s OK, too.
10. If you’ve still not purchased your man his Christmas gifts, let me tell you what the rest of us have: this henley (as I put it elsewhere, “guaranteed to transform him into a Yellowstone character” — plus, thanks to thermolite, has the warmth of a sweater and the weight of a tee) and this electric kettle for his pourover game (order by tomorrow for Christmas delivery). At Mack Weldon: my husband likes their underwear; great stocking stuffer.
11. A bunch of you ordered these faux wreaths and I think we are going to follow suit. In just two years of use, this will be a better value than the over-$100 wreaths we buy each year at American Plant. This one is currently $50 off.
12. Trending among Magpies: this Xandra bikini (Hunza G is THE BEST — I guess a lot of us are traveling somewhere warm soon?) and these leather-effect kick flares. Perfect with a chunky holiday knit.
13. Katie of Beach Reads and Bubbly (who also just recovered from the stomach bug!) did a charming makeup tutorial over the weekend and was raving about this Chanel highlighting stick. She made the point that it’s a great gift as you don’t need to pick a color that matches skintone (so hard to guess!), and it comes wrapped up in Chanel boxing — major wow factor. I kind of want for myself though. She also recommended this concealer, and it’s currently in my cart.
14. I just ordered my son an extra set of the Cat and Jack boxer briefs — his favorite, and currently on sale. We also have some of the ones from Primary, but the Cat and Jack ones are softer and have a better fit. Also such good prints! Just realized this might be something good to hang onto and put in his stocking. I’m so “pro” putting things they need in their stockings! My mom used to give us tape, glue, etc! We loved it.
16. When we went to see Santa, I wore this dress. I’m not sure you can see well in the photo, but there is velvet trim on the sleeves and at the hem — so cute! It’s 30% off right now if you subscribe to their newsletter. I wore with my glittery Aquazzura boots (look for less with this pair from Target!).
17. This cherry beanie is SO cute. More cute recent Shopbop finds here.
P.P.S. Musings inspired by my favorite Fleetwood Mac song. I sang this at karaoke the last time! It was maybe a bit of a buzzkill but I just love it so much.
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By: Jen Shoop
Image via. This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
A couple of Magpies wrote in last week asking for gifts under $50/”favorite things” parties/stocking stuffer-type contributions. Sharing a range of some of my favorite items in this ballpark:
01. NODPOD WEIGHTED EYE MASK — This is divine. I can’t sleep with it on (I move around all night long — Landon says I’m like a rotisserie chicken on a spit?) but have taken a few breaks to lay in my bed with it on when I need a pause / reset and it is incredible. I can’t explain what it is about the slight pressure that is so relaxing and reassuring. It just works.
11. SLIP HAIR TIES — I’m personally obsessed with these but always hate spending money on them. Whenever my mom puts them in my stocking, I’m thrilled!
21. MAGIC 8 BALL — Fun little surprise. I remember a mom friend of mine saying she gave these out to all the eight year old boys in her son’s life and they were all obsessed. Just fun!
04. BOX CUTTER — How did I live without this? I like the ceramic blade one because less dangerous with little kids around, but of course always keep out of their way anyway!
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By: Jen Shoop
Every morning around 8:30 a.m., I take Tilly out. These morning walks are a welcome sensory reset all year round, but especially in winter, when they operate like a mild polar plunge. I shake off the sleepy haze and perfunctoriness of the morning’s pre-school activities and switch on for the day.
I am not a particularly regimented person. Some days I eat breakfast, some I don’t. I try to run every other morning, but sometimes life gets in the way, and that’s OK. Lunch might be at 11:45 or 2. I strive for a 9:30 p.m. bedtime, but some nights, relaxing with my husband or finishing my book supersede that objective. In short, I am an organized, motivated person, but am comfortable operating in windows rather than against rigid timelines. As a lifelong rule-follower, I suppose this is my way of getting out from underneath my own thumb. So while I might not be regimented, I am ritualistic. I repeat the same patterns day after day, in loose parentheses of time.
I realized the other day that the morning walk has become a kind of cue, a pattern launch. I take off my Mom hat and slip into a creative mode. Without realizing it, that walk has become a daily call to Mount Helicon.
What rituals do you have in your life that help you work through your days with more fluidity and control? What cues do you have to help yourself toggle from one mode to another, or from one role to the next?
Yours might be switching on the coffee maker, tidying the kitchen, or, like James Clear (about whose writing I have ambivalent feelings), pouring a glass with cold water — something he refers to, as a former athlete, as “a pre-game routine.” Pay attention to those cues. Burnish them. They might feel wafer-thin to the point of immaterial, but they galvanize us with minimal effort on our end. It’s not “OK, Jen, now I gotta rev up the old writing engine” but the subconscious, almost invisible, shift toward the keyboard as I make the return down my street and back to my desk with Tilly on the lead. I’ve written elsewhere that “inspiration will not always find you, so you must learn to be disciplined.” Cues put our feet in the stirrups even when we don’t feel like riding.
Finally, a deep groove into which to pour ourselves today as we think about the cues and rituals that make up our lives:
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle
Are the habits we are practicing today the kind that ladder up to the virtues we want?
Post-Scripts.
+I still think about this quote from actor Mad Mikkelsen all the time: “My approach to what I do in my job — and it might even be the approach to my life — is that everything I do is the most important thing I do.” Read my thoughts on it here.
If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!
Shopping Break.
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
+I love my Barbour (seen above) for daily walks. It’s surprisingly warm/insulating, works in drizzly weather, and has all these great oversized pockets for my phone, AirPods, keys, etc. Also succeeds in occasionally making me feel like a brooding British poetess.
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A week or two ago, I came across this beautiful infographic demonstrating the way in which sharing ourselves with others can change our experiences of joy, fear, and shame. When we share the positive emotions, they grow. When we share the challenging ones, they shrink. I immediately thought of a situation that has been unfolding over the past few weeks. My son struggles with the articulation of certain sounds in his everyday speech, and it had begun to impact his intelligibility at school. His saintly teacher reached out and suggested we seek speech and language services to support him. I am so fortunate to have such an attentive and proactive teacher caring for him — and I was receptive to and grateful for the suggestion, as we had noticed the same thing at home and had not known how to assess its severity or address it, especially as he is “stimulable” (a word I’ve learned since we’ve moved down this path, meaning he can create the sounds when we pause, model the correct sound, and ask him to repeat it). But — what were the next steps? I felt lost when trying to figure out whether to use the taxpayer-supported option, which would be free to us, but would involve having him plucked out of his school day once a week and taken alone by shuttle on a van to a nearby public school, or to pursue a private solution. And, if I was going to find a private service, where to even begin? What do I look for in evaluating one? Would in-home or in-clinic be more beneficial? What should I ask while on the introductory calls? How to even explain what was going on with my son? I felt paralyzed for several days. I had “RESEARCH SPEECH AND LANGUAGE” on my to-dos but had no idea where to begin, or what to ask. I dragged a gray cloud behind me — I felt worried, overwhelmed, and woefully under-qualified for the task.
On the third day of paralysis, I reached out to my mother, my sister (an early childhood literacy specialist), and a girlfriend of mine who is one of those unicorns who has a perfect referral for everything (childcare agency, aesthetician, local running boutique, best vegan restaurant in Bethesda — she’s my go-to, trusted “finder”). Within 24 hours, I had a few leads on speech and language services that were local to me and had been connected to a friend of my sister’s who is an expert in early childhood speech and offered a lot of direction in terms of finding and vetting the right fit for my son. When I shared all of my findings with Mr. Magpie, he said:
“God, you women are incredible.”
It felt like I’d flown a bat signal. You know that phrase “many hands make light work”? I’d gone from feeling like I was rolling a hundred-pound boulder up a hill (or rather, being stuck at the foot of the hill, immobile and shouldering the stone) to finding my way to the crest, with these women distributing the weight alongside me.
Speaking candidly, certain life experiences have taught me to “keep to myself” and “not bother other people” and “figure things out on your own.” I have been hurt by situations where I have opened myself up and felt embarrassed, shut down, or in various ways dismissed. I look back and realize that I was seeking the wrong things from the wrong people at the wrong time. I was not yet mature or discerning enough to understand who to go to with which kinds of problems, or whether the problems merited a bloodletting in the first place. I have since learned that sometimes there are matters that I need to work through on my own, or with a very select group of listeners. I find this to be particularly true with career challenges. Even the most empathetic will tire of hearing the ins and outs of colleague drama, bad bosses, and small workplace injustices. So too with relationship issues that seem to trickle out in petty melodramas. These are the situations that require an earnest look in the mirror rather than a ring of sisterly support. But I think I have occasionally and erroneously applied this “deal with it yourself” mentality to situations in which sharing myself is not only deeply needed but welcomed by my family and friends. They want to help me, and they are qualified to do it. In the case of figuring out how to help my son, I opened my heart and watched my feelings of worry, paralysis, and stress shrink to a manageable shape.
Now, we are underway with treatment, on the loving shoulders of others.
A nudge today, Magpie, to ask for help if you need it. And on the flipside, to share the good stuff if you can: the funny thing your son said, the promotion you just earned, the story of your kind neighbor helping you with something.
Also this week…
+OMG. If you are an Olivia Rodrigo fan, do you know about Chappell Roan? I am obsessed with her album “The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess” (explicit content / NSFW / not safe for little ears). Mr. Magpie and I have been listening to it whenever the kids are out of the house, and I’ve been running to it all week. It’s pop with inflections of The Cranberries, Florence and the Machine, Lana del Ray, Lady GaGa, and of course Olivia Rodrigo. (The album was produced by Dan Nigro, who also produced Olivia Rodrigo’s “Guts” album, which I played on repeat for weeks this fall.) Mr. Magpie discovered the album via a pop music subreddit he follows for under-the-radar suggestions, but he also pointed out that one solid strategy for discovering new music up your alley is to look up the producer on an album you enjoy and look into his/her discography, too. Definitely true in this case. You know what’s funny? I ended up texting three good guy friends about the Chappell Roan album, as I know they all enjoy Olivia and Taylor, and it brought me joy that these dudes are the kind of guys who do not trivialize female pop. (The last time a Taylor album came out, I texted one of them to say: “Happy Taylor Swift launch day to those who celebrate (us)”.)
+This reminds me — did you read the Time article on Taylor Swift that came out this week? It is long and I skimmed much of it, but I thought this Taylor Swift quote was interesting: “Women have been fed the message that what we naturally gravitate toward—girlhood, feelings, love, breakups, analyzing those feelings, talking about them nonstop, glitter, sequins! We’ve been taught that those things are more frivolous than the things that stereotypically gendered men gravitate toward.”
+My favorite “relax set” was just restocked in a chic dusty blue color. Pair with this weighted eye mask for elite relaxation mode. And speaking of relaxation — I have started a nice little morning ritual this Advent of lighting a holiday candle (<< burning this one in the photo below, which smells divine and is somehow 50% off?; I am going to burn this one next) and reading the Advent scripture card for the day from Camilla Moss.
+What are we reading Magpies? I am not usually the type to toggle between lots of books at the same time, but I’m midway through five at the moment. They are all filling different needs and moods. I’m still making my way through these reflections from a Buddhist nun (listening on audiobook); Alice McDermott’s Absolution (excellent but requires considerable focus); this Roald Dahl book (Mr. Magpie’s cousin’s favorite book — she gave me her dog-eared version of it the last time I saw her and I’ve been wanting to read it since!); the Artist’s Way (a workbook for creatives recommended by my friend and creative force Caroline Lunne — reading with the intent of unblocking myself so I can keep working on the fictional piece that has been consuming my creative mind the past few weeks); and this B.R.A.D. (a term coined by Beach Reads and Bubbly — “beach read after dark” — steamy!). The topography of my reading has been imbalanced but it’s kind of great for me right now. I’m reaching for what I need each night — something more literary? something cerebral? something emotionally healing? I have it all!
+Have you scheduled a gift wrapping night? I’m planning to do two this year. One this upcoming week for all of the gifts for friends/family, and one next week for our children, to decide which gifts come from us vs. Santa. I don’t know that I’ve adequately raved about this little gizmo for holiday gift wrapping. It is SO good. Really sharp and makes the process of wrapping so much easier. All of my gift-wrapping recs here and here.
+On the gift-buying front, lots of recs for children here and here. I also wanted to mention that one of my favorite children’s boutiques, Danrie, has an incredible curation of toys for children — the kind you won’t mind leaving out. They invited me to select my top recommendations for gifts, which you can find here. Seen below: the library play set I’ll be gifting my daughter (do you know how much I would have loved this as a kid? the stamp?!), a cash register for my son, and another sweet Maileg mouse addition for my daughter’s collection. She’s been collecting these since she was a baby, when a friend of my MIL’s gifted her a Maileg when she was born! (You can see my daughter’s Maileg house in the background below! — an epic gift we bought her a few Christmases ago.)
+In the first pic of Danrie gifts above, you can see my Joy Creative Shop gift tags. Cannot recommend these enough. I’m very pro sticker tags these days. Makes life so much easier!
+Just ordered myself this hat and the matching gloves to pair with my ivory topcoat.
+What socks do you wear under your boots? If for any reason I anticipate I will need to take my shoes off and someone will see my socks, I wear these soft but chic wool ones. Otherwise, I wear these Nikes. They are slightly compressive but plush/cushioned and they always stay up / stay in place. I have tiny tiny feet and they actually hug my foot! Usually I have extra space in the heel or toe that makes it feel bunchy! If it’s really cold, I wear Darn Toughs. They are SO WARM.
+My most-worn boots this season: my No 6 clog boots (for, like, the fifth year running — go up one size), my Isabel Marant cowboys (also on sale for less here; I can tuck my Madewell jeans into them and the fit is perfect — not a skinny leg but narrow enough to work); and my Ugg ultra-minis (which I own in the forest night / olive green color — if you can find a pair in your size, buy! These are sold out almost everywhere — some limited sizes here).
+Doen’s final collection of the year launched a few days ago. SUCH beautiful pieces. I love this patterned velvet (silhouette is a 10). Doen invited me to pick a piece from the collection, and I chose this one, though. I know I will get a lot of wear out of it this season — easy enough to throw on for more casual events or dress up for more formal ones. I love the silhouette and pattern. I believe this piece was launched earlier this year and sold out already!
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By: Jen Shoop
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
My Latest Snags.
I did a big casual attire shop for my daughter this week (all links at the bottom of this post), and added this pair of Nike high-tops as the exclamation point. I can’t wait to give them to her! I also treated myself to a few new goodies from Sezane — this sweater and this sequin blouse (influenced by my Internet friend Chrissy) — and have a couple of items that brands permitted me to select (and gifted me) en route:
+These flats from Margaux, a brand I have been curious about for ages and that came up on my girls’ trip to Atlanta a few weeks ago. I got in the bright red. I love that they have expanded sizing, as I have teeny feet (typically take a 5 but 4.5 is honestly better in flats — that’s what I wear in Chanel!), and was able to order in my pixie foot size.
+This cardigan and this skirt from Goop’s house label. Their pieces are pricey but I find myself reaching for them over and over again — elevated, beautifully-made basics. I’ve ordered several for myself over the years, usually out of their amazing sale section.
Earlier this year, I wrote about “love in the big ways and small” and included U.A. Fanthorpe’s beautiful poem, “Atlas,” which movingly illustrates how many ways there are to say “I love you.” As Fanthorpe writes: “There is a kind of love called maintenance / Which stores the WD40 and knows when to use it.” Who else has a loved one like this? Whose way of saying “I love you” is filling the car with gas, or checking the weather to make sure your flight will get in on time? I think I sometimes overlook the heart strings beneath these quiet acts of service.
“Have you eaten? (I love you.) Did you get enough sleep last night? (I love you.) How do you feel today? (I love you.) Did you have a nice day? (I love you.). Will you come on a walk with me? (I love you.). Here’s some fruit I cup for you. (I love you.) (I love you.) (I love you.)” — greysfields / tumblr
I immediately sent it to my mother. One of the most beautiful gestures of love she has given me (and there have been so, so many) was texting me every morning after my children were born, for probably weeks on end, asking: “How was last night? How did everyone sleep?” She knew, of course, that none of us were sleeping, and that my bleary dawn-time answer would probably not change, but it was her way of giving me a blank space in which to throw all of my exhaustion, and also to say: “I see you, mama. You’re tired. You will get through this and you are not alone.”
I’ve paid this kindness forward by asking my mom friends in the throes of new motherhood: “How did last night go?” Such a small question, but implies a universe of understanding and compassion. Because in those early days, each night is a hard-earned victory.
Would love to hear about the small acts of service and love in your life these days. (This is one area in which idea theft is encouraged!)
Post-Scripts.
+I’m planning to sign up for some personal training sessions over the next few weeks. I read somewhere that getting started on New Year’s goals in December is one way to prevent the feeling of stagnation that usually comes in January. There’s so much pressure to start something new on Jan 1! So I think I’ll try to schedule my first session next week. I ordered myself a knew workout set to get the ball rolling — this tank and these leggings. The color is so good, and will look ideal with my fav Nikes (I have them in a few colors, including the jungle green that matches the leggings — 25% off right now!).
+Also kind of wanting to order this green vest in the same color family…
+Petite Plume is offering us 15% off with code JEN15. My children are obsessed with these “holiday journey” jammies I surprised them with on Thanksgiving. My son has been wearing the top open over a t-shirt, 90s style — all on his own! His own grunge flavor. And my daughter has already told me this is the pair she’s wearing on “wear pajamas to school day,” which is coming up soon! If you have a little lady who loves nightgowns, they make the sweetest prints. Mini has owned several over the years and the great thing is that you can make nightgowns work for several seasons. I think my daughter wore one in a 2Y size between the ages of 18 months and four years — and she’s big!
+These Grovemade headphones stands are gorgeous, but I ended up ordering this $15 one for my Sennheisers. (Those headphones remain one of my favorite things I’ve bought myself in recent memory. So helpful during the work day.)
+I’ve mentioned this a bunch of times, but this is my favorite cleanser at the moment. Creamy with a diffuse amount of microbeads to exfoliate — very few per pump, so you just get a little scrub. I also just ordered the serum to try. You can currently save 20% on the bundle of both together.
+GAH. I can never get enough La Ligne. Currently lusting after this burgundy and blue striped sweater. ($25 off with code MAGPIE25.
+Mr. Magpie and I were just talking about how we spend a fortune on a new wreath each holiday season. I think we might buy this one or this one and reuse year after year!
+This Marea housedress is 50% off. Buy now and your future self will thank you. This is the kind of thing you can live in between the months of April and August.
By: Jen Shoop
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
ON ME: TALBOTS TARTAN SKIRT // TUCKERNUCK MARAIS JACKET // TALBOTS TURTLENECK // DORSEY RING // CHANEL BAG // AQUAZZURA QUANT BOOTIES (OLD, BUT STILL AVAILABLE ON EBAY)
ON MINI: LITTLE ENGLISH SWEATER AND SKIRT (SHE PICKED THIS OUTFIT HERSELF!!!)
*THIS WAS THE FIRST OUTFIT I WORE FROM MY HOLIDAY DRESSING LINEUP!
If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!
By: Jen Shoop
In winter, the trees winnow down to stick figures, and their branches — accustomed to the filigree of petals and leafwork — bear the burden of ice and snow.
What might it be like, to exercise that conservationist strength?
To lean one’s roped and weary shoulders against the cracking white?
To carry the heaviest load when stripped bare?
I think we all know. We have all stood in Skaði’s* icy company.
And yet we forget —
“Winter is not the death of the life cycle, but its crucible,” as Kate May put it. From winter’s austere offices emerges the tenderest green. And after the longest and darkest day of December, dawn opens the door a few minutes earlier: come in, come in. You must be freezing out there.
Post Scripts.
*Skaði is the Norse goddess of winter. She was considered austere but not necessarily cruel or retributive.
+Some musings from a few years ago on Kate May’s concept of wintering: “Our movements in times of adversity need not always be so frictional and against the grain. Maybe there are seasons designed for fallowness. Maybe we learn important things there, in the quiet and bare.”
If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!
Shopping Break.
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
+My kind of dress (swoon). Especially with this clutch. Extra extra extra!
+Intrigued by this bronzing primer. It’s actually sold out everywhere else I’ve looked in this bronze color, but available in a rose glow color here, too.
+The classiest black leather gloves from a family-run French business.
+For those Magpies asking for ski attire: HalfDays is another great place to check! I love the colors of these fleeces and base layers.
+Just ordered a few new holiday books for my children, including this and this.
+Zara has some seriously cute finds for children — love this bow sweatshirt and this fair isle sweater. More recent Zara finds here.
+The first thing I ever bought my son (a few weeks into his pregnancy) was a De Buci bear that I had personalized with his name on it. Such a treasure to me.
+These ornament organizers make life so much easier.
+These hand-painted personalized children’s chairs are so darling. Her hand-painted ornaments for baby’s first Christmas would also make a sweet gift for new parents.
By: Jen Shoop
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
A little list of launches and finds on my radar this week:
03. Sezane’s new collection (launched Sunday) has been selling fast. I blinked and missed out on this gorgeous gold dress in my size. It would be perfect for an expecting mama! Slip dresses are very in at the moment, and this one caught my eye. Also like this knit dress and these leopard flats — the shape reminds me of Le Monde Beryl.
04. These $70 bow heels are beyond fabulous for holiday, NYE, beyond. I love the idea of pairing them with black jeans and a cropped blazer for a low key festive moment.
06. Lots of fun new arrivals at Shopbop. I updated my “hearts” here.
07. A few under-$30 fashion finds you need to know about: this perfect black velvet headband, my mesh turtleneck, and a $20 take on my favorite pointelle tees.
08. This set of Advent cards is helping me center myself, daily, this holiday season. It’s not too late to start.
09. I ordered mini these Nike high-tops. The styling is so, so good. I love the way a lot of Nike’s “fashion” sneakers look like they could have been the ones Michael J. Fox wore in “Back to the Future” several decades ago. Timeless and still cool. They sell so fast in the good colors!
10. Apparently this $90 tee has a cult following. I’m intrigued…
