By: Jen Shoop

My Latest Snag: Roop Furoshiki Bag.

I mentioned this in a post-script yesterday, but am so excited about my latest handbag acquisition — the Roop Furoshiki bag.  These silky beauties are hand-made using only remnant or vintage fabrics, and they remind me of the Ascot bag from The Row — but cost under $100. I snagged one of the last ones on the internet (still one or two available here) in black and white polka dots, though founder Natasha Anjo (seen directly below styling her own bag) has already mentioned that she will be re-stocking in mid-June with a pink gingham style and a gorgeous marigold confection, among other styles. I am planning on wearing mine with a form-fitting LBD and on-trend kitten-heeled mules, for which I am still on the hunt. Considering these from new-to-me label Studio Amelia or a pair by lust-worthy label By Far.

Roop is a London-based, black-owned, eco-conscious business.

You’re Sooooo Popular: The Best Face Mask.

The most popular items on the blog this past week:

+Are you tired of hearing me talk about this face mask? Ha.

+This is the only thing I want to wear these days — breezy midi dresses that allow for ease of movement and…discretion as I chase my children around Central Park.

+Prettiest blockprint dress at a fantastic price.

+One of mini’s pairs of summer sneakers. Love that they can be worn with sundresses (have loved easy-to-care-for pima dresses in traditional shapes, like the one here) as easily as shorts.

+I guess many of you are celebrating first birthdays just like we did with Hill — with this epic ride-on vintage sportscar.

+Nightgown day dresses for life.

+This Zimmerman-esque dress is around $100 and so chic. Also love this pretty style from the same collection.

+These custom family portraits by a black artist are absolutely amazing — I originally included it in my Father’s Day gift guide roundup, which I since took down and will plan to re-feature next week.

+Absolutely gorgeous.

+Mad Hippie vitamin C serum — I’m testing this in substitution for the much more expensive Vintner’s Daughter and am loving it so far. Very impressed with the results.

+Best bra, on sale in select colors, here.

+This $11 toddler swimsuit is a must.

Weekend Musings: Breezes That Have Not Come.

We have over-extended the brief “windows open” season in our apartment, walking around in denial as water glasses sit in pools of condensation, we wipe sweat from our brows, and I toss and turn at night in search of breezes that do not come. This is in part because Mr. Magpie has been attempting to research the best window air conditioning units for our pre-war apartment, contending with inputs like BTU and square footage, while also waterlogged at work and balancing a one year old boy on his hip and a three-year-old daughter at his feet. Things just take longer these days. Oddly, I have not entirely minded in the case of purchasing our window AC units (and yes, I know how odd it is that renting tenants are responsible for their purchase — it was something we could not negotiate into the lease). Aside from the kitchen, which frequently achieves boiler room status if we are both running the dryer and cooking, much of our twelfth floor apartment remains temperate, especially the dining room, which tends to circulate air on even the stillest of days, and in which I have spent many hours this past week reading, reflecting, talking to friends and siblings, and collecting thoughts over a half-formed puzzle while the children are asleep or napping or — on occasion — blessedly preoccupied with something on their own.

The open windows have also amplified the continued seven p.m. cheers for front line medical workers and essential employees in the era of COVID quarantine, the chanting of protesters walking down Broadway, the applause of neighbors leaning out their windows in solidarity, the smashing of glass in the middle of the night, the jarring absence of ambient traffic and street noise on the evenings during which we lived under curfew, and the still-frequent wail of sirens signaling clashes over racial injustice or the ferrying of ill coronavirus patients to the hospital across town.

These are the sounds of New York City in early June 2020.

Collectively, they project the discordance of many million people tossing and turning at night in search of breezes that have not yet come.

Good Reads.

There were several excellent pieces by Roxane Gay this week — a bone-weary reflection on this week’s events, a love letter to her fiancee, and an ode to the jigsaw puzzle.

Post-Scripts.

+Speaking of puzzles — I am working on this one, though in addition to pre-ordering one of the ones Roxane Gay suggests in her Wirecutter article, can also recommend anything from Pomegranate Puzzles? The quality is incredible and I love looking at reproductions of art masterpieces. This looks fun, this looks impossible, and the floorboards on this classic will preoccupy me for days.

+At the suggestion of a thoughtful reader (thank you, MK!), I have created a Magpie Book Club page at Bookshop, an online bookstore with a mission to financially support local, independent bookstores, which is especially meaningful right now, as many face COVID-related closures. I have added a couple of the books I am reading/planning to read and shared a few of my absolute favorite books from the last few years of reading. You can find reviews of many of them here.

+I can’t decide which dress to buy from new-to-me label Fanm Mon, whose embroidery and ruffles are totally up my alley. (I also love that the brand is run by a husband and wife team.) This is the perfect everyday dress to wear with neutral slides (or these for much less) and I’m dead over the embroidery and puff sleeves on this linen number, which I would wear with a heeled sandal like this or this. Fanm Mon is a black-owned business.

+Two great picnic finds, for your next at-home (or in-park!) picnic: these acrylic rosebud glasses and these melamine covered bowls, which are basically perfect for transporting snacks for little hands.

+Speaking of picnics: this LemLem dress. Love the way it’s styled on the site, with an oversized straw fringed clutch (look for less, or go for broke with the Jacqemus fringed bag I have been drooling over since last year). LemLem was founded by supermodel, businesswoman, philanthropist, and native Ethiopian Liya Kebede. All products are handmade by artisans in Africa. This gauzy beauty (on sale) is dreamy for the beach.

+Love this sweet tank ($65).

+Another amazing nightgown dress.

+Will be ordering one of these limited-edition linen tops from Le Petit Organic for mini when re-stocked next Friday. Le Petit Organic is an NY-based black-owned business.

+Adorable everyday dress for a little one ($20).

+Great bath gear for children.

+Lacoste polos on sale — perfect Father’s Day gift (size up). I’ll be republishing the father’s day gift guide this upcoming week, but the sale on these polos ends 6/8!

+The Fourth of July is not so far away!

+Grandma Carm’s ranch crackers.

By: Jen Shoop

I wanted to stay as I was
still as the world is never still,
not in midsummer but the moment before
the first flower forms, the moment
nothing is as yet past-

not midsummer, the intoxicant,
but late spring, the grass not yet
high at the edge of the garden, the early tulips
beginning to open-

like a child hovering in a doorway, watching the others,
the ones who go first,
a tense cluster of limbs, alert to
the failures of others, the public falterings

with a child’s fierce confidence of imminent power
preparing to defeat
these weaknesses, to succumb
to nothing, the time directly

prior to flowering, the epoch of mastery

before the appearance of the gift,
before possession.

–Louise Gluck, “The Doorway”

Ed. note: I read the above poem and wrote the below analysis a few weeks ago, with COVID-19 and the reopening of economies weighing on my mind. My opening line was: “A reminder this morning that the non-event can be beautiful, too–richly resonant during this time of waiting.” Interesting how differently–problematically–that observation reads right now, in the context of the sweeping and urgent historical event we are living out right now, one in which “the waiting beforehand” has been anything but beautiful for generations of black Americans.

Re-reading the poem above and my analysis below this week made me realize that it is not only true that two people never read the same book, but that we never read the same book twice, either. Books I discovered at twenty read entirely differently today; poems I read two weeks ago bear new inflections. I used to think that art imposed order on the free-form swing of the emotions of an artist. The logical extension of this perspective meant that I favored a formalist approach to literary studies, and you can probably still see vestiges of that discipline in the way I review books: almost always attending very seriously to narrative structure–to the ribs and spine and delicate metatarsals–versus the overall appearance and the context beyond. But I find myself in the middle of my thirties thinking differently about Roland Barthes telling me that “the author is dead,” a notion I summarily dismissed as overwrought and anarchic as a graduate student. To me, to read was to excavate meaning, which presupposed that the author’s intent was paramount. Now, though, I find myself lingering over Barthes with an arched eyebrow, ears pricked up:

“A text consists of multiple writings, issuing from several cultures and entering into dialogue with each other, into parody, into contestation; but there is one place where this multiplicity is collected, united, and this place is not the author as we have hitherto said it was, but the reader: the reader is the very space in which are inscribed, without any being lost, all the
citations a writing consists of; the unity of a text is not in its origin, it is in its destination.”

I read this excerpt today and I think — yes. Yes, both to the fact that the phrase “like a child hovering in a doorway, watching the others / the ones who go first” has entirely changed meaning for me today and yes to the broader interrogation of power his essay invokes.

****

From my original analysis, which I have preserved in its entirety save for the aforementioned, redacted first line:

I am struck today by the breathlessness of this poem, the line-breaks suggesting either forced restraint (“I wanted to stay as I was,” the speaker commands herself, and at once I imagine standing stock-still, breath bated) or the choppy eagerness of things-just-started (“the grass not yet // high at the edge of the garden” — almost as though the form of the stanza cannot brook the force of the natural world sprouting forward). I relate to both, incidentally: the stiff self-control quarantine has imposed on us all, and at the same time the sensation that things beyond our control are moving us forward.

Also, of course, the stanza about hovering in the doorway “watching the others…alert to / the failures of others, the public falterings” — wow! How true this feels right now, as businesses re-open and friends push forward or withdraw from plans and we watch with wide eyes to determine how and if we participate.

What else strikes you in this poem?

I love the photo above by Amanda Olivia — it made me want to immediately buy this Queen Anne Lace wreath for my own door.

Post-Scripts.

+More poetry here and here.

+Have you heard about mommy wipes? I just ordered a package — they purport to be tough enough to act on stains but gentle enough for baby. In other words, I think every mom needs these? Mommy Wipes is a black, female-owned small business.

+In need of a new daily planner — currently eyeing one of these personalizable Papier ones.

+Also in need of new volumizing hair products. Recs? Intrigued by this well-reviewed volumizing root powder, one of many highly-touted haircare products from a business helmed by a black female founder.

+Managed to get my hands on one of the very last of the cult-following Roop furoshiki bags. Depop and boutique Norah have a few left. I am obsessed. These bags are hand-made using only remnant or vintage fabrics, and they remind me of the Ascot bag from The Row — but are less than 1/10th of the price. Roop is a black-owned, London-based, eco-conscious business.

+Our foyer is the final frontier in terms of finishing the outfitting of our apartment. I have my eye on this console (on sale). From the same boutique: wouldn’t this seashell-trimmed mirror be perfect for a coastal-style living room/entryway?

+I’ve already gone off the deep end raving about this rose face mask (still using it every other night and loving it), but has anyone tried one of these buzzed-about lip masks from KNC Beauty? I feel like it might be one of those things you never knew you always needed? KNC Beauty is a black-owned business.

+Hill turned one over the weekend.

+Summer temperatures have arrived, along with the need for more airy day dresses. I am impressed with this eyelet ASOS steal I already purchased and am currently eyeing this Charina Sarte beauty (from a Filipino designer), this breezy kurta, this gorgeous billowy dress (from a black, NY-based designer — the cut and color read couture but the price tag is reasonable), and this $28 linen dress.

+For at-home date nights, I am eyeing this OTS white beauty (from a black-owned, NY-based business) and this broderie anglaise statement ($111!)

+A couple of recent purchases for mini: a ruled dry erase board, as she has taken a sudden interest in writing letters and her teacher mentioned that having a blackboard or dry erase board was best for early writers, as the “stakes are lower.” Also a full liter of bubbles, which we have somehow depleted by half in just two outings to the park (bless you, bubbles, for preoccupying both of my children for the better part of an hour each day), SuperGoop mineral sunscreen stick (for applying to her face — does anyone else struggle with this and their children?! It’s impossible to apply sunscreen to a wriggling child’s face!), a book on Frida Kahlo because her class talked a lot about self-portraiture last week, a few Lacoste polos (on sale), and Wings by Christopher Myer.

+For myself: a new journal, a new book, and a new puzzle.

+Current obsessions.

By: Jen Shoop

In my predominantly white high school, there was a Black Women’s Club led by one of the only black faculty members in our community, and nearly all of the black students on campus participated in it. One morning, I overheard someone say: “I just don’t get it. We don’t have a White Women’s Club.” I recognized the wrongness immediately–though I was fumbling through my own failings using racially charged language–as I looked around my school, which was, in essence, almost exactly, a white women’s club.

But I did not say anything.

The moment left me deeply uneasy for many reasons, not the least of which was my silence. And the issue of otherness that the comment and the club itself brought to the fore left me in a state of cognitive dissonance. I felt that much of my grade school education had taught me that “calling out” someone’s race was wrong. In fact, I think the primary message I had absorbed around the topic of race as a child was that I should strive to be colorblind, as all people deserved to be treated equally. “It don’t matter if you’re black or white,” sang Michael Jackson, among myriad other pop culture voices in the 90s, and I nodded along. I would elliptically dance around race when describing a person: “she had brown eyes and was wearing a red shirt?” I would offer tentatively, dropping the descriptor of “black” from the sentence altogether. I thought I was doing the right thing, “following the rules,” sparing offense. Now I don’t know what I was doing, but there was erasure involved. And so, as a teen, I struggled to reconcile the desire to be “colorblind” with the existence of the Black Women’s Club on my campus and other highly visible phemonena recognizing black otherness, like the shaded boxes in my history books: “Blacks During World War I,” “Black Artists in the 1930s,” etc. I found myself wondering about them. Were those an afterthought shoe-horned into the book by P.C. publishers? Or were they a deliberate statement — i.e., “For too long we have not told these stories in our history books, and now we must make physical space to celebrate them in a dedicated way?” Would it be better or worse to fold their stories into what I understood to be — and what the publishers reified by virtue of the textbook’s design — “the main narrative”?

The Black Women’s Club at my high school added a new dimension to my inchoate understanding of otherness because it involved girls I knew, whose lockers were next to mine, who sat with me in the airless second-floor classroom of St. Jo’s Hall, dissecting frogs in sophomore biology. If one of my black classmates had asked me “Do you have a problem with me being a part of the Black Women’s Club?”, I would have reflexively answered, “Of course not.” Of course not because I would have realized, in that instant, that I was transforming their lived experience into a private intellectual debate over whether recognizing otherness was “the best way forward.” Of course not because I would have been speaking directly to a classmate who cheered with me at Gold/White festivities (a spirit tradition at our school) and rolled eyes with me when our dean of students came by measuring our skirts with a ruler. Of course not because I would no longer have been floating in the land of hypothetical fairness. Of course not because I would have intuited in her question that she needed that space for herself for reasons I am fortunate to have never had to reckon with. Of course not because it would have begged the question that I should have been asking myself all along: what must it be like for her?

But I did not have that conversation then. And I should state very clearly that it was nobody’s job to have that conversation with me, least of all a young black classmate, in order to incite such awareness.

I have been thinking a lot about this in the last few days. About the wrongness of staying silent, about the retroactive imperative that I should have asked and listened to what one of my black classmates had to say about the club rather than drifting around in solipsistic la-la land, about what I could or should have said at that moment in high school and many moments since and what I can or should say now.

The crux, though, is this: my reckonings — both in private thought and public journal here — must foreground the real and lived experience of black people.

I wish I could go back and ask one of my black classmates about the Black Women’s Club. Maybe I still should, at a moment less freighted than the one we are in now, when I will not be adding to the emotional labor they are enduring. Or maybe I have lost the privilege of that conversation and can only do better by asking, listening, and speaking in analogous moments in the future.

****

I am jarred to act. Right now, that means educating myself and reading deeply. Candidly, I feel uneasy projecting any know-how in the curation of experts on the topic of race in America, but these are urgent times and I would love to have some of you join me. Below, a few of the voices I am listening to:

THE CONSCIOUS KID — PARENTING AND CHILDHOOD EDUCATION FROM A CRITICAL RACE LENS

WELL-READ BLACK GIRL — SHOWCASING BLACK GIRL WRITERS

ROXANE GAY — NO DESCRIPTION NEEDED

LAYLA F. SAAD — AUTHOR AND EXPERT ON RACE, IDENTITY, AND SOCIAL CHANGE

RACHEL CARGLE — ACTIVIST AND AUTHOR FOCUSED ON INTERSECTIONALITY

AURORA JAMES — FOUNDER OF FASHION LABEL BROTHER VELLIES AND BLACK RIGHTS ACTIVIST

A couple of the books in my tsundoku stack:

THE WARMTH OF OTHER SONS BY ISABEL WILKERSON (CURRENTLY READING)

THE YELLOW HOUSE BY SARAH BROOM

RABBIT BY PATRICIA WILLIAMS

BEHOLD THE DREAMERS BY IMBOLO MBUE

****

I will be writing about other topics starting tomorrow. I will also be determinedly featuring more BIPOC-owned businesses, reading and discussing books by a more diverse canon of authors, and showcasing more inclusive imagery. And I will continue to engage with this moment and with my own education and reflections on race in America in ways that are meaningful and authentic.

By: Jen Shoop

Putting a belated pause on the blog today to turn toward fighting injustice.

I will never forget George Floyd calling for his mother, or the depth of hurt and anger on the faces and in the actions of so many in our country after centuries of discrimination and brutality.

This must change.

I must change.

****

I have received deserved criticism for posting my planned content this week. Thank you for helping me do better. I am working through how to engage meaningfully and authentically with this moment in my own life and here, on this blog.

I have removed this week’s posts in deference. I did not want to delete yesterday’s because of the comments left on it that have held me accountable for my missteps: removing the post felt like erasing those voices of dissent, and, from what I am learning in Leyla F. Saad’s book, deleting what I have written on a social media platform after the fact is a version of white fragility. So I have republished their feedback here:

From Molly:

I was also a little disappointed to read today’s post. I know that you write with great care and attention, and that takes time – it’s also why I love this blog and you’re writing so much! However, it just reeks of tone-deafness to me to post all about children’s toys and clothes. Nearly every other blog that I read refrained from a post full of affiliate links today as we as Americans are all forced to publicly reckon with 400.
years of oppression of the Black community.

You are a white woman from DC who waxes poetic about your time at UVA – I cannot imagine that you did not witness racism while you were there (I know that I witnessed it at my college in the Northeast that is similar in size, rigor, and student population to UVA). Surely that had an impact on you and the way you think and live your life now; your writing is too thoughtful and introspective for it to not have.

We white women have benefitted enormously from the racism of women who came before us, who fought for our rights at the expense of Black of women. Any white woman who has a platform right now should be using it to amplify Black voices and also to seek to change the hearts and minds of the mostly (i’m guessing) white women who read your blog and might be empathizing more with the police than with Black mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters whose generational hurt has been laid bare over this past week.

I would not put the time into writing out this comment if I didn’t genuinely love your writing; I just want to know that I can keep enjoying it in good conscience.

From Katherine:

I was encouraged to see your post yesterday and was looking forward to seeing what you would share today. I’m a little disappointed! I don’t think anyone expected you to be able to comment expertly or inexpertly on the events of the past week but acknowledge and attention seems paramount. It seems like it would have been easy to include a few additional links in this post about how to engage with this moment. Just a line or two! Surely there is room for both? I know there has been a lot of empty “linking” but I think acknowledgment is still important.

I love your blog in large part of for your thoughtfulness, but I must say the posts over the past week have really confused me a little. I’ve been grappling with why there was space here for mastering the “art” of conversation yet there is too much discomfort to attempt to discuss the racial events of the past week? Why doesn’t the ‘art’ of conversation extend to these matters? This is a question I’m asking myself too- I recognize it makes me uncomfortable also! I think there is value in discussing this.

Anyway, I hope this will be a space that celebrates all the things it always has, because that’s why we come here! But also, I hope it will acknowledge the realities were are living through and challenge us to rise to a higher level of thoughtfulness and reflection when necessary. I think there is plenty of room of both and I hope you do too.

By: Jen Shoop

I have been reticent to write because I have felt that this moment is not mine.

Rather, this moment is about the daily, lived experience of injustice that black Americans endure. I must make space for the depth and rawness of their pain and rightful outrage.

And so I bristle at the thought my own distress over the state of things and my complicity in them might interrupt or — worse — co-opt a narrative that belongs to my black neighbors. Theirs are the voices that must be attended to, the names that must be said.

But in another sense, this moment is mine and is precisely about me — in the sense that I am complicit in the systems and norms from which their pain stems, and in the sense that this moment must radicalize me to action if there is hope for change.

My ill-formed, paltry thoughts on this subject are not why you come to me and my blog. You come in search of distraction, beautiful clothing, the occasional musing on motherhood and marriage, and book reviews–in so many words: a light touch. There are infinitely better, more informed, more reputable sources on race in America. And I am horrified at the prospect that the deep, real trauma and suffering of others might appear sidelined by my inadvertently bending this conversation into an intellectual exercise over white privilege.

So I will proceed with tremendous caution in my writing because words do matter.

But in the self-reflection borne belatedly of this week’s news, I have also determined that there are ways I can do better with the means at my disposal to live out anti-racism and stand up with black Americans–ways that go beyond listening, reading, signing petitions, and donating, like featuring BIPOC-owned businesses in my shopping round-ups, including more diversity in the imagery used on this blog, and selecting book club picks from a more inclusive canon of authors, to name a few–

and I will start there.

By: Jen Shoop

UPDATE: I write my posts well in advance of their publication and was distraught that the turbothot for this post (on civility, the art of conversation, and the impetus to avoid “saying the wrong thing”) felt horribly out of place — tone-deaf — in the context of this week’s devastating news. I have redacted it.

On the far more important subject of the horrific events of this week: I don’t have words. There are many others who do, and I am listening to them, educating myself, reflecting, and pledging to do better.

My Latest Snag: New Everyday Running Shoes.

I wrote about these elsewhere in the past week, but I bought a new pair of running shoes to celebrate my return to jogging. Because my decision to ease back into the pastime materialized seemingly within an hour, I made do with a couple of old pairs of trainers so that I could hit the pavement ASAP, planning to purchase a new pair once I’d done some recon. Bad idea — the treads on my shoes were worn down and I could tell my left foot in particular was landing somewhat awkwardly. Still, determined as I was, I continued to run with them — and (no surprise) developed a painful case of plantar fasciitis! I was furious with myself! My eagerness (recklessness) to just get started meant that once I’d finally started hitting my stride, I was out of commission, unable to enjoy the solitary outside excursions I’d come to crave, and in pain/limping around my apartment. Foolish! Let my mistake serve as a cautionary tale for anyone else attempting to restart a fitness habit — just buy new shoes!

I am beginning to feel better now after a lot of stretching and minimal walking for the past week and a half but practicing discipline — will aim to wait another week for good measure.

And, of course, will be wearing new sneakers. I bought mine in the white/psychic blue/laser crimson colorway but would have preferred the iced lilac color — sold out everywhere in my size. (More sizes here, though!)

You’re Sooooo Popular: A Coastal-Chic Rug.

The most popular items on the blog this past week:

+Coastal-chic rug.

+Quilted changing pad cover.

+Breezy white summer top.

+Absolutely love the color and cut of this sweet swimsuit. (On sale!)

+BEST FACE MASK — OBSESSED. I have been using this every other night and my skin has never felt softer or looked glassier/smoother. Definitely try this!

+My dream bag for this summer.

+Sweetest sandals for a little girl — with a VELCRO closure! Brilliant!

+Love the block letters on this personalized notepad.

+Cute shorts-and-top situation for a little one.

+This block-print dress is ultra-chic and crazy affordable!

+Love this USA sweatshirt (under $25).

+Affordable vitamin C serum — update after a week of use: it does feel tacky/sticky after application but I am so far impressed with the results. Will continue to try this for another month and then re-evaluate.

+Best bra (on sale in select colors) and a solid Hanky Panky dupe.

+A sweet addition to your little one’s library.

Post-Scripts.

+Currently getting the children’s summer gear organized (full post on outdoor children gear coming Monday!) as we spend more time in the Park and plan to visit our cousin in Quogue later this summer — Hill is ultra-fair and so I’ve ordered him this rash guard and a plain white one (much less expensive).

+Another super cute Amazon swimsuit find (faded gray color with ruffles) for mini!

+This oversized floral shirtdress is incredible.

+Mini and micro love cereal in the morning; I can’t believe how much we go through. Thinking of ordering these to keep them fresh!

+Love the monogram on these packing cubes. I swear by packing cubes to keep myself sane and organized with two small children while traveling! We use these — I have a few sets in different colors so that I can easily grab mini’s items versus micro, and I love that they are clear (easier to find stuff!). Still, tempted by the monogrammed style above…

+Super cute floral dress for $35.

+Inexpensive childrens dining sets for summer — love the colors.

+This is the kind of thing I love wearing around the apartment on hot summer days — with bare feet and a top knot.

+Currently thinking about my birthday next month…have been eyeing this dress all season and it’s now marked way down, but I also love the improbable whimsy and drama of this.

+More fantastic white dresses at all price points here.

+THIS DRESS for a bride-to-be!!! OMG. Engagement pictures or engagement party (if we can ever have those again)?

+More bridal finds here.

+Zimmermann is having an incredible sale — I love this dress in the khaki or floral colorways (wrote about it earlier here, along with a few other sale snacks!) and this cheery floral midi.

+And this gives me major Zimmermann vibes for a fraction of the price.

+Lake Pajamas has some new colors/styles out — love this cobalt blue set, this summer dress, and this set in stark white (imagine with a good tan…)

+OK, this is super cute (especially for the price!). More precious, traditional childrenswear finds here.

+This rug and this lamp are SO CHIC for the price!!

By: Jen Shoop

To My Angel Hill, on the Precipice of His First Birthday:

You have always been mine–mine in particular.

When you came into this world, the nurses placed your tiny body up against my face, above the sheet that separated us from the doctors performing the c-section that brought you safely to me. We laid there, cheek-to-cheek, and I wept as you quietly opened and closed your mouth against my face in what felt like a hundred tiny kisses. All I could think was: You are here, you are mine, you are here, you are mine! — and just on the heels of that: do not move, Jen! Though my arm was crooked at the most awkward of angles, I was desperate to avoid shifting you. I needed you and your kisses, a reassuring intimacy flying in the face of the indignity of laying on an operating table. And you were a quiet little thing, content once nestled beside me. One of the nurses peered over at us and said: “Oh! Oh my gosh! He’s so quiet, I’d almost forgotten he was there!”

You were mine then — mine in particular.

You were calm once in my arms, affectionate, entirely oblivious to the way in which your very being reified my confidence and calm despite the unpleasantries of the procedure. Your just being you brought out the best in me, your fumbling bisous cheering me through that surgery and right into the recovery room, where your father and I cried and held hands in relief and victory and joy and the ineffable emotional glut of becoming a parent–even a second time over.

We have not spent more than a few hours apart from one another since you came to me at 8:49 a.m. on May 31, 2019, and you have proven in that time that I am yours in particular, just as much as the other way around. When you were very young, and we were lost in the haze of sleepless nights feeding you, we tumbled through a stretch where you were only happy when I held you. Your father would often find you tucked under my arm, my face drooping over yours in exhaustion, and he would laugh out loud at the smug look of joy on your face, even while fast asleep. “I got what I wanted,” your smirk seemed to be saying, claiming me as your own.

When you were a little bit older, you would often fall asleep with your eyes locked on me, slow-blinking yourself to sleep while ensuring I was not going to sneak out the door, holding on to my visage until the very last second possible before drifting off into sleep.

Nowadays, when I pluck you out of your crib after a nap, you settle into my arms and rest your head on my shoulder, and we sway in the still-dark quiet of the nursery for a few minutes before easing open the blinds and hushing the sound machine, deferring the real world and its routines and cacophonies in favor of a quiet embrace, just the two of us. I have wiped away many happy tears in this posture over the past few weeks, your cheek against mine, your chubby fingers clutching my shirt, the world outside your door immaterial.

In short, I am desperately devoted to you, my determined, affectionate, outgoing, curious, forbearing little boy–words I repeat to you during our nightly affirmations, words you are now beginning to recognize on the eve of your first birthday.

I am so overjoyed you are mine, my one-year-old baby–mine in particular.

Love,

Me

Post Scripts.

+My thoughts just ten days after your birth — I was just as overwhelmed then as I am now by the kisses after your delivery.

+Time is a wretched thief.

+I announced my pregnancy with you rather elliptically in this long-form post, and oh! I had not remembered that I had told myself “you are mine” even while pregnant.

+For fellow mamas reading this:

BABY GEAR I WISH I HAD KNOWN ABOUT EARLIER

TRADITIONAL CHILDREN’S CLOTHING UNDER $31

MY FULL REGISTRY

MY FAVORITE BEDTIME BOOKS

REFLECTIONS ON GOING FROM 0-1 VS 1-2 CHILDREN

ON WEANING MICRO

+Looking back, my absolute favorite articles of clothing Hill has worn (for sure holding onto all of these):

THE STORK PAJAMAS HE WORE IN THE HOSPITAL

RR HEART PAJAMAS

MONOGRAMMED BUBBLE

GINGHAM SUNHAT

LITTLE ENGLISH PLAYSUITS (HE HAD ONE IN EVERY SIZE)

JACADI GINGHAM SHORTALLS

BABIDU SHORT-AND-TOP SETS (HE HAD A FEW)

FLORENCE EISEMAN SHORTALLS

MADRE DALLAS PERSONALIZED KNIT HAT (THE SWEETEST GIFT — HEARTBROKEN HE WON’T FIT INTO THIS NEXT WINTER)

NANOS DOG BLOOMERS (WORE THESE ON THANKSGIVING)

PERSONALIZED CASHMERE SWEATER THAT READS: HILLBABY

BAILEY BOYS BUBBLE

+And if I could trim my favorite baby gear for micro down to just a handful of things I would URGE you to consider if you are having a child:

SLEEP TO DREAM SWADDLES AND THEN KYTE SLEEPSACKS

4MOMS MAMAROO

WUBBANUB (KEEPS PACIFIER IN BABY’S MOUTH PLUS EASIER TO FIND THAN NORMAL PACIFIERS)

BUGABOO STROLLER

PUJ FLYTE

TUBBY TODD OINTMENT

PULP FEEDERS (SO GREAT FOR EXPOSING BABY TO FRUIT BEFORE THEY CAN CHEW)

MUNCHKIN TRASHBAGS (NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT THEM)

PHILIPS AVENT BOTTLES AND OXO FORMULA DISPENSER

NOSE FRIDA

YOYO ADAPTERS FOR THE NUNA PIPA CARSEAT

KISSY KISSY ONESIES — SO, SO SOFT AND WORTH THE INVESTMENT (HILL WORE ALL OF MINI’S)

BABY BJORN MINI (WAS SO SO SAD WHEN I HAD TO RETIRE THIS — THE EASIEST TO PUT ON AND TAKE OFF AND SO COMFORTABLE)

+Gift ideas for babies and a roundup of the absolute best toys.

+Micro’s big birthday gift this year.

By: Jen Shoop

We compiled all Magpie recipes into beautiful cards for your kitchen! Get the recipe card collection in your inbox here.

Here we have a guilty pleasure plucked straight out of a 1970s living room, where mothers played bridge and sipped iced tea in floral midi skirts —

My grandmother Carm’s “Ranch Crackers.”

Ranch crackers are a deliciously out-of-vogue social gathering snack, one that avails itself of packaged, powdered dressing mix and unfussy presentation. My mother used to mix up a bowl for summer picnics and reunions, and she’d keep them in a large tupperware in the pantry that my sisters and I would pry open and filch from throughout the day, leaving oily fingerprints all over the house.

They are mouth-wateringly salty and tangy. Rife with kitsch, I dare you to just eat one.

I like to keep them in small ramekins by the bar when blessed with guests (who knows when that will be, though I fully intend to mix up a bowl when visiting my cousin later this summer) or next to my happy hour glass of wine when in isolation.

Also a fantastic accompaniment to a feel-good throwback movie — and I’ve listed some of my favorite recently re-watched flicks below.

Cheers to all the things that bring us comfort and small measures of unfiltered joy.

Grandma Carm’s Ranch Crackers

Mix 1 cup vegetable or canola oil with 1 teaspoon dried dill, ½ teaspoon garlic powder, and 1 package Hidden Valley Ranch dressing mix.  Stir and mix with two 12-oz boxes of oyster crackers.

Throwback Feel Good Movies Worth Re-Watching*

Uncle Buck

10 Things I Hate About You

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

Say Anything

The Great Outdoors

The Breakfast Club

Clueless

What About Bob

Easy A

Mean Girls

*Mr. Magpie and I are having a major love affair watching (mainly) teen flicks from our youth. I mused on why that might be here, concluding that “It has been overwhelming to think about adult problems these days. The concerns in these movies feel pleasantly narrow and manageable by contrast…I have found comfort revisiting the upward swing of adolescence, the indefatigable energy and optimism of being a sixteen-year-old with her driver’s license in hand. These recovered sensations billow powerfully against the mire and morbidity of 2020. They remind me what it feels like to be in transit, heart racing and a little reckless, with nothing but upside.”

I also absolutely loved the more recent To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before — one of the best teen rom-coms I’ve seen in a long time!

P.S. More on my Grandma Carm here.

Post Scripts: On My June Shopping List.

NEW SUMMER PAJAMAS — THIS PAIR AND THIS PAIR FROM RECLINER (JUST RESTOCKED)

NEW NOTEBOOK

NEW PAIR OF WIRELESS EARBUDS (I SOMEHOW KILLED MY LAST PAIR AND I NEED THEM FOR MY RECENTLY-RESTORED RUNNING HOBBY)

EASY TO WEAR, UNFUSSY DAY DRESSES: LOVE THIS EASY MIDI SHIRT-DRESS, THIS $20 FLOATY NUMBER, THIS ROSE PRINT MAXI I’VE ALREADY TALKED YOUR EAR OFF ABOUT, THIS GRANDMILLENNIAL-VIBES FLORAL, AND/OR THIS ON-TREND DOEN-ESQUE STEAL FOR $28

BABY SPERRY FOR HILL

A $24 FLORAL BATHROBE THE ULTRA-CHIC EMILY DISCOVERED!

STROLLER FAN

READ A REALLY CONVINCING REVIEW OF THIS STUFF FOR GETTING SPILLS/STAINS OUT OF UPHOLSTERY…I AM ALMOST ALWAYS DABBING YOGURT OFF OUR COUCH! AHHH

A FRESH SET OF HIGH BALL GLASSES FOR SUMMER TOM COLLINS OR G&TS

THIS ANIMAL ALMANAC TO WORK THROUGH WITH MINI OVER THE SUMMER

TEMPTED TO GIVE THESE PRESS-ON GEL NAILS A TRY…?! WHO HAS TRIED THEM!?

SAUCY RED SANDALS OR THESE REFINED, ON-TREND WHITE ONES (BOTH ON SALE!)

INNIKA CHOO TUBE DRESS

BOW MASK

MINNOW RASHGUARD FOR MINI (JUST RE-STOCKED IN ALL SIZES!) AND THIS RASHGUARD SET FOR MICRO

P.S. More recipes from my family archive here, here, and here.

By: Jen Shoop

Though at times the effort of bathing both children in tandem (micro is still too young to share a bath with his sister — or, perhaps, I am still too terrified to embark on it) is daunting, I have come to deeply appreciate the ritual now that I have re-situated it in the middle of the day, just after lunch. A small blessing afforded by quarantine: getting the bath out of the way and passing the stretch of the afternoon during which midday doldrums normally strike in relative peace and calm. Once convinced to actually get in the bath, mini loves it in there. She will swim around happily, quietly for twenty minutes, creating elaborate conversations and plot lines with her mermaid stickers or My Little Ponies, “cooking” with bubbles, or sometimes just pretending to be a mermaid herself. Micro, too — it’s one of the few spots where he will sit contentedly without imperiling his well-being or squirming out of reach for a couple of minutes. (But my goodness, that boy is a swashbuckler. He will often stand on top of toys in order to leverage himself partway over the crib railing, and has taken to balancing his tiny feet on the rim of the baby tub I place within the tub in order to climb out when he’s determined he is ready to do so! I am simultaneously astounded by his agility and horrified for his wellbeing.) At any rate, a mother once described bathtime as “a glorious time to sit-er-vise”: supervise while seated and gloriously unencumbered. It has become a cherished moment during which I feel I am accomplishing something but am able to drift into daydream, and the children are content and preoccupied.

I thought I’d share a couple of my favorite bath gear finds for children:

BOON BATH MAT

PUJ KNEELER WHEN KNEELING AND STEPSTOOL WHEN SITERVISING FOR MY OWN COMFORT

UBBI BATH SCOOP/CADDY (GENIUS AS WATER DRIPS OFF TOYS INTO TRAY BENEATH THAT AN IN TURN BE EMPTIED — NO MOLD!)

RINSER

I HAVE TRIED A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT TYPES OF SHAMPOO BUT ALWAYS RETURN TO EITHER NOODLE & BOO OR MUSTELA (DOUBLES AS BODY WASH) — BOTH ARE ULTRA-GENTLE BUT MOISTURIZING (OTHERS DRY MINI’S HAIR OUT!) AND SMELL FANTASTIC

GERBER BABY WASHCLOTHS (THESE ARE SUPER TINY — JUST THE RIGHT SIZE FOR SMALL CHILDREN)

CALIFORNIA BABY BUBBLE BATH (VERY EXPENSIVE BUT BEAUTIFULLY SCENTED AND FOAMS WONDERFULLY — SO MANY OTHERS HAVE THE MOST HIDEOUS SCENTS!; ALSO, A WOMEN-OWNED BUSINESS!)

POST-BATH: BEST DETANGLER (WORTH THE MONEY, LASTS A LONG TIME) AND MASON PEARSON BRUSH (PRICEY BUT THE ABSOLUTE BEST BRUSH EVER AND I FIGURE SHE’LL HAVE IT FOR HER ENTIRE LIFE)

MUSTELA BODY LOTION AND TUBBY TODD OINTMENT IF NEEDED (IF DRY OR IRRITATED)

WE USED THIS INFANT TUB WITH HILL SINCE HE WAS ABOUT THREE MONTHS OLD — REALLY LIKE THAT IT HAS A DRAIN AND HAS A REPOSITIONABLE SEAT

WHEN HILL WAS ITTY BITTY, I USED THE PUJ FLYTE WHICH I WOULD GIVE 5 STARS

MY FAVORITE HOODED TOWELS ARE THESE NORDSTROM HOUSE BRAND ONES — SUPER THICK AND SOFT, BUT ALSO MUCH LONGER THAN PBK’S!

USUALLY USE FULL-SIZE BATH TOWELS, THOUGH, AS BOTH OF MY CHILDREN ARE TALL AND I LIKE TO TOTALLY ENVELOPE THEM!

FOR STYLING MINI’S HAIR, I LIKE TO SPRAY THIS CONDITIONING POLISH ON BEFOREHAND TO MIST/WET AND SMOOTH EVERYTHING DOWN

Popular bath toys around these parts:

MUNCHKIN BOATS

MELISSA & DOUG TUB STICKIES (WE HAVE THE MERMAIDS)

BATH TUB CRAYONS (THESE REALLY HELPED DURING A PERIOD WHEN MINI REFUSED TO GET IN THE BATH AROUND THE AGE OF 2-2.5)

CRAYOLA BATH DROPZ (THESE HAVE BEEN A HUGE HIT FOR NEARLY A YEAR — MINI LOVES TO DROP THESE IN; THEY GIVE HER A SENSE OF OWNERSHIP OVER BATHTIME, TOO, AS SHE USUALLY DROPS WHAT SHE’S DOING AND TROTS RIGHT OVER WHEN I ASK HER TO PUT THE COLORS IN)

MY LITTLE PONIES (HAIR CHANGES COLOR IN WATER)

WHALE

SUNNYLIFE OCTOPUS

And if we do end up giving baths just before bed, I usually take my happy hour drink to go…i.e., to accompany me bath-side while I sitervise.

P.S. If you’re running dry on activities for your toddler, check out this list, which I have updated a number of times! I also just ordered her this felt figures set for a rainy day as a possible new entrant into her sticker book obsession…

P.P.S. A child of books.

P.P.P.S. Practical thoughts on preparing for a second child.

By: Jen Shoop

Just because we’ll be socially-distanced doesn’t mean we won’t get decked out for the Fourth! I may not be quite as formal as the lovely lady above (ha! I wish!), but I will certainly be showing my patriotic stripes.

Below, my favorite finds for myself and my children…

DROOLING OVER THIS G LABEL PUFF-SLEEVED DRESS

THIS GORGEOUS GUL HURGEL, MARKED DOWN TO A RIDICULOUSLY LOW PRICE

MOST LIKELY WILL WEAR A WHITE DRESS LIKE THIS, THIS, OR THIS WITH RED ACCESSORIES LIKE THESE EARRINGS OR THESE SANDALS

ALSO LOVE A FROTHY WHITE TOP LIKE THIS WITH WHITE SKINNIES FOR A MORE CASUAL VIBE

THIS GINGHAM SKIRT (SUPER STEAL) WOULD LOOK ADORABLE WITH A WHITE BODYSUIT OR PLAIN WHITE TEE

THIS $20 BRIGHT BLUE DRESS!!!

For children…

THIS LA COQUETA IS PERFECTION

I RARELY DO MATCHING FOR MY CHILDREN, BUT I WENT WHOLE HOG THIS YEAR — HILL HAS THIS AND MINI HAS THIS

I AM ABSOLUTELY DYING OVER THIS SUNSUIT — MIGHT HAVE TO GET IT, TOO

NAVY BLUE OR WHITE LACOSTE POLOS — I LOVE THEM WITH CPC SHORTS

MINI OWNS THIS PERFECT DRESS BUT I THINK SHE NEEDS THIS FROM THE SAME BRAND, TOO…AND HILL THIS!

AMERICAN FLAG SWEATERS (MONOGRAMMABLE!) IF GOING SOMEWHERE CHILLY

CIENTA SHOES!

THIS GINGHAM DRESS IS TOO GOOD (AND 40% OFF WITH CODE SPRING40)

THESE JAMMIES REMIND ME OF FIREWORKS AND THESE ARE 40% OFF WITH CODE SPRING40

THIS SAILBOAT DRESS I’VE BEEN EYEING FOREVER IS CURRENTLY 50% OFF

A TOTAL CLASSIC

P.S. More children’s finds for warm weather here and traditional childrenswear for under $31 here.

P.P.S. Some of my most-commented-on posts in the last two weeks (please chime in!): the slimmest of griefs and my most recent book review. In the latter, one Magpie had some really stirring (politely dissenting) words about the way I’d reviewed one of the books, and I have been thinking on this a lot since. On the one hand, I agree that I was irritatingly haughty toward and dismissive of the book. Badly done, Emma. On the other: I take honest book reviews very seriously, and I absolutely love openly critiquing books I’ve read with my friends (which includes you, my readers). Moreover, I believe all books are art and that any reaction to art is legitimate. But I could do better to make space for contrasting perspectives, and I will endeavor to do so. Last thought: a quote: “No two people ever read the same book.”

P.PP.S. My other heartbeat.

By: Jen Shoop

Lest I forget the intent of Memorial Day amidst incredible summer sales and heartache over the state of the world right now —

Today is Memorial Day. I am deeply proud of the brave men and women in my family (and Landon’s) who have served our country and imperiled or lost their lives. And though I don’t find anything foolish or wrong about grieving the losses so many American families have endured with loved ones fighting abroad, this quote reminds me that gratitude is where my heart should be living:

“It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God such men lived.” — George S. Patton

P.S. Memories from my father’s visit to see a Vietnam War exhibit a year or two ago. (He is a Vietnam War vet — 82nd Airborne.)

P.P.S. As summer arrives, revisiting my thoughts on living in alienation from cricketsong and the gorgeousness of swings as a child.

By: Jen Shoop

Below, a random roundup of current obsessions:

+Our sudden and unanticipated plans to get out of town in a couple of weeks! Our plans were canceled for us earlier this summer, and then my cousin announced she had rented a beautiful house for a few weeks and invited us to come out. We are over the moon, because we have been going stir-crazy. Looking forward to lots of outdoor dining, dips in the pool, running through the lawn sprinkler, etc. Gorgeous image above from this coffee table book. (P.S. Did you know that Walmart has some unexpectedly chic outdoor patio furniture?! This set reminds me of the chairs above, and this white-and-navy situation is preppy perfection.)

+The audiobook of Lady in Waiting (narrated by the author, Anne Glenconner, herself — now around 90 years of age!). The story is full of interesting historical tidbits and archaic traditions — but also heartfelt admissions and thoughtful observations. I admire her wit and self-deprecation and it’s a delight to hear her upper crust British accent narrating the memoir.

+I wrote about this on Instastory not long ago, but I probably google and stare at the photos of Hailey Bieber channeling Princess Diana for Vogue Paris once every other week. I don’t know why, as the vibe is definitely not my style (white dresses or nightgown dresses with Nicola Bathie earrings all day erryday), but there is something enchanting about the spread. The high-low combo? The throwback of it? AHH. Don’t hate if you see me walking around in my own twist — bike shorts (look for less) with an oversized denim button-down or this USA sweatshirt while at home.

+Still love these spicy crackers (cayenne seasoning) with a glass of red wine at happy hour. Perfect. (More happy hour at home ideas here.)

+This face mask really transformed my skin. I needed a little pep in my routine. I just ordered this inexpensive vitamin C serum in lieu of my usual Vintner’s Daughter serum to see how it compares. I have been a devotee of Vintner’s Daughter for the last year or so but am always open to testing more wallet-friendly options…

+Mini has a ton of fly-aways/baby hair growth around her hairline and it drives me crazy because she always seems to have hair in her eyes! I have tried barrettes, different types of elastic, and even finishing creme but finally bought these inexpensive, colorful metal clips (major throwback to my youth). Thank God! (This finishing creme also helps, but not enough to keep all of the hair in place for a full day.)

+Found my favorite bra on sale for $41 in select colors here. There is something so satisfying about finding a “staple” you are willing to buy at full-price on sale!

+Speaking of: the verdict is in on these inexpensive Hanky Panky dupes. They are a fantastic buy for the price — you get like 5 for what one pair of Hanky Panky cost! They aren’t quite as stretchy as HP but I have no complaints. Run TTS.

+Amazing and inexpensive children’s finds from Amazon: stocked up on these kick shorts for mini (she is getting a little too old to wear bloomers right now but often wears short pima dresses that call for something beneath); this darling gingham one-piece, which reminds me of Minnow Swim; unfussy zipper pajamas for micro in baby blue; and the absolute best (super soft, tagless!) camisoles for little girls.

+Big summer bows for mini.

+This foot cream is INSANE. Highly recommend as an antidote to a pedicure-less summer.

+This lobster-print reusable grocery bag, which reminds me of the precious items I found at Nantucket Kids’ outlet sale: this pima lobster print dress for mini and this sweater for micro!

+My Mason Pearson brush. Truly worth the investment–though this one (open box)–is about half of what you’d regularly pay!

+You may remember that we bought these Toulon planters for our living room. Our royal palms are not yet quite tall enough to fill the planters perfectly, so I found these planter inserts as an inexpensive way to accommodate right now!

+Swooning over these rattan loafers!

+Nowhere to wear this, but I love it. Would pair with a white midi skirt.

+My new butter keeper! Can’t wait to make bread service a little fancier. Also love these simple glass cloches to keep over candles when not in use and love the idea of this for a dinner party / picnic / lazy happy hour!

+When I’m not wearing a breezy dress, I like to wear J. Brand white jeans with a white tee (I’ve tried a ton but I continue to like J. Crew’s inexpensive “essential” tees — they are soft, tagless, and nicely proportioned!) and either some fun earrings or a scarf or India Amory pareo around my neck/shoulders for some color.

+Things I am eyeing right now:

HAS ANYONE TRIED TAN LUXE DROPS?? I’M USUALLY SCARED OF SELF TANNING PRODUCTS, BUT THIS SET IS SUCH A GOOD VALUE, I’M TEMPTED

THIS HAND-PAINTED BLOCK DRESS FOR $64!

THIS PRETTY GINGHAM RUNNER FOR OUR KITCHEN

FUN, INEXPENSIVE SUMMER SHADES (I LOVE THE PINK)

A FRESH PAIR OF SUPERGA SNEAKERS (SOLID WHITE + ON SALE…ON EVEN STEEPER DISCOUNT HERE IN SELECT COLORS)

P.S. More of my latest inspirations and discoveries.

P.P.S. A book I truly loved and memories from youth I cherish.

P.P.P.S. I can’t stop thinking about the fact that this time last year, I was so close to giving birth to Hill. Just re-read this post written just days before his arrival and then this post written three weeks after his birth on adapting to being a mother to two. All the feelings. Funny, though, that I can feel the heartache in my voice over all the changes in my relationship with mini, and now, a year out, I am so deeply reassured that things have “gone back to normal” and that my relationship with my daughter is as strong and nurturing as ever. Change is hard.

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