*Image above a little nook in our dining room, featuring the decorative eggs mentioned below.
My latest discoveries and loves on Amazon — click image to be taken to details, or see my notes below.
+I purchased these decorative eggs (seen above, in a little nook in our dining room alongside two of my all-time favorite design books: Allegra Hicks’ An Eye for Design and Michael S. Smith’s Elements of Style; a sweet tole trinket tray from Jayes Studio; mercury glass candlesticks I fill with Caspari tapers; and a framed robin’s egg that Mr. Magpie found me) seven or eight years ago as a way to break up the wall of glass Pottery Barn apothecary jars (one such seen above) that decorated our bookshelves. (We had had a candy bar at our wedding and I bought those jars just for the occasion; I was determined to make use of them.) I still love the way they look in our apartment, which is decorated with pops of robin’s egg blue throughout.
+This is the year of the nightgown; whoever is doing PR for nightgowns deserves a raise. It’s all I want to wear! This looks so perfect for warm, late-summer nights. (More chic nightgown-style pieces for day or night here.)
+As a part of my next “Honest Review” installment, I have been looking for great (comfortable, non-hideous) underwear. These from Natori came highly recommended, so I purchased (along with a few other brands to compare). They are so soft and so pretty!
+I’m a total convert to Cocofloss — superior to any floss I’ve ever used before. Full review here.
+Mr. Magpie gave me a caran d’ache pen in my stocking last year and I LOVE MINE. Disregard the three star rating on Amazon; this pen writes beautifully and elevates my everyday list-making and note-taking regimen.
P.P.P.S. These leggings sell out every time they re-stock. You can preorder now.
By: Jen Shoop
Q: I’m inspired by the gorgeous caftan I creeped on today. Favorite swim cover ups?
A: [Ed. note: This was a submission by a friend who had sent me a stealthy picture she’d taken of a very chic beachgoer wearing a blue and white blockprint caftan.] A couple similar styles:
THIS IS NOT REALLY THE CAFTAN STYLE YOU WERE SEARCHING FOR, BUT IT IS SOOOO GOOD
Not so much cover-ups, but in a similar blue-and-white-caftan-style-dress vein:
+I bought this as a present to myself after giving birth to micro last year. Not perfect for the beach as the material is heavy and a maxi isn’t ideal for sand reasons, but I love to throw this on in the evenings at home.
P.P.S. If you’re in a shopping mood — all “Nordstrom Insiders” can access the Nordstrom Anniversary sale today. Here is what I am eyeing this year (I just had to update this post to remove items that had already sold out).
Q: What sandals would you wear to dinner? I’m looking for something flat, flattering, and neutral.
A: These beauties by Malone Souliers immediately came to mind. They are elegant and versatile. I also absolutely live in my Hermes Oran sandals, easily one of my best wardrobe investments in the last decade. I think I bought them (in the saddle brown color, which they call “gold”) five years ago and they have only improved with time. They are butter-soft, go with everything, and completely comfortable. There are a lot of similar styles out there for less; I like these in the white.
If you consider python a neutral, these are such an incredible score!
Q: What are some ideas for bringing home the baby girl outfits?
A: Congratulations!!! I personally felt most comfortable bringing my babies home in pima cotton footies. They were so itty bitty and tender and fragile, I only wanted them in the softest, coziest coveralls. I like the ones from Pixie Lily (you can have these monogrammed!) with their sweet hemstitching; Kissy Kissy; Little English; and Livly Baby. I actually brought Emory home in Kissy Kissy (they had a precious pink bunny print they’ve since retired) and Hill home in Livly (in a gray and white elephant print they’ve since retired) — I especially like both of those brands for the early weeks because they come in a true size NB. Most new babies are way too small for a size 0-3 months!
Mini was born in a Chicago March and it was freezing outside. We layered her in a Kissy Kissy footie and its coordinating knit hat (definitely buy the coordinating hat!), a knit pram jacket, and a fluffy blanket over the top.
Micro was born at the end of an NYC May, and I had bought him this velour bunny coverall because I couldn’t not buy it, but it was totally unnecessary as I think it was 85 the day we brought him home. I did manage to squeeze him into it at the end of summer and it was just the most precious.
Q: Any other beauty finds on your radar?
A: Right now, I’m testing (and really liking) HyperClear skin-clearing and brightening serum, but a few beauty finds I am lusting after…
P.S. I reviewed a bunch of other beauty/skincare products with considerable cult followings here, here, and here.
Q: Any advice on carving out writing habits and creativity rituals?
A: I read this little book on the creative habits of celebrated artists many years ago and it made me realize how differently many of them have approached their crafts. You might find inspiration there, too, but the book makes clear that there are many modes of and channels for creativity. Personally, I find I’m at my most creative when I am reading widely–observing the craft of others, stewing in language, imagining other worlds and lives and experiences. When I do not dedicate time to reading, my writing suffers. I also try to write every single day, inspired in part by the dictum that practice makes perfect (well — not perfect, in the case of writing, but better). Early into writing this blog, I decided I would prioritize process over product. I would aim to write roundly, fluidly, consistently every single day rather than hem and haw over one well-edited piece. I think it has paid off. I’ve had the space to explore a lot of different subjects, hone my voice and style, and be playful–I can’t take myself too seriously when I’m trying to publish something every single day.
Finally, knowing the time of day that is most conducive to creativity has been helpful. I think I’m at my best writing early in the day, but that’s not practical in my life right now, so I’ve also had to learn to adapt. I find that since I can’t write at dawn, the second best thing is to write at 9 A.M., after my mind is cleared of the clutter of morning to-dos: beds are made, children are dressed and fed, and I have dressed myself in something that makes me feel good.
Q: If you could redo your wedding registry, what would you add or remove?
A: Not much, to be honest! I think we did a good job of prioritizing cookwear, dishes, and serving appliances — we cook and entertain a lot, so the investment our friends and families made into our kitchen has paid off manifold. We have put every single item on our registry to good use over the past decade. (But if you are not huge on cooking, I would probably be honest about that and diversify your registry!) Some specific thoughts:
+Steak knives were an unexpected boon. We love ours, from Laguiole, and find that we use them frequently (and not just for steak — great for any protein, really). They’re beautiful!
+Registering for a full 12 place settings in our wedding china and all of the serving dishes that went with it has proven very smart. We actually did not register for everyday dishes — just every single item (down to the coordinating salt and pepper shakers) that belonged to our Kate Spade china setting. My mother-in-law even bought us multiples of serving bowls and dishes, and I’m so glad she did, as they make for a cohesive tabletop when we entertain! Plus, our pattern has since been discontinued, so I’m glad we bought everything when it was available.
+Our china is machine-washable, which I think has led us to use it a lot more frequently than we might otherwise. We eat off of it probably once a week and certainly whenever guests are over. That said, I do sometimes day dream about a beautiful, whimsical hand-wash only set from Haviland, Pinto Paris, La Double J, or Laboratorio Paravicini.
+If you do register for everyday china (totally reasonable, by the way, if you don’t entertain or find formal dining stuffy/impractical for your life), can I suggest all white plates? They show food so beautifully and you will never get bored of them. We have donated nearly every printed plate we own because we always reach for the white ones. Juliska’s Berry and Thread is a classic and we eat off of Aerin for Williams-Sonoma scalloped plates 6 out of 7 nights of the week.
Q: What can I do or not do to be a good mother-in-law?
A: What a sweet question. I adore my mother-in-law, so I am trying to think how I might describe her and capture her relationship with me. She has achieved a magically perfect balance between being supportive and giving me space to make my own decisions (and mistakes). I am sure it must take a lot of will to hold her own opinions to her chest — especially since Mr. Magpie is her only child — and to exude only support and encouragement. One specific example: she told me she did not want to come out to see our babies until after they were a month old. “I just remember my mother-in-law being there in the first few days after I’d given birth, and I was so exhausted, and it was not good,” she had said. I think that experience must have left her cautious about giving me room then and at so many other junctures in my married life.
I suppose, in summary, it’s all about setting boundaries and leading with love. She has always made me feel supported, even though I am sure I have made decisions that she did not agree with. Similarly, I have found that sometimes biting my tongue is the most generous thing I can do with family.
Q: How have you stayed emotionally connected with Mr. Magpie during the pandemic?
A: The same way we always stay connected: saying I love you multiple times a day and aligning our thoughts with one another about parenting, the pandemic, and even small things like what we’ll make for dinner tomorrow every single night. We always sit and talk after the children are down, often over dinner and a glass of wine. Sometimes we’re going over what we call “STPs” — “Shoop Talking Points” (i.e., agenda items that need answers, like whether I should sign up for ZipCar, what to buy for so-and-so’s birthday, what to bring to the socially distanced picnic on Saturday — the hangover of building a business together is that we are now exceptionally efficient and business-like about household admin, too) — but sometimes it’s just a free-form reflection on the day.
But truly, I am lucky. We have been through many tough times together, and our relationship has not only been the easiest part of those circumstances, but my saving grace. Mr. Magpie is easy to love and he always makes himself emotionally available to me.
Q: Gift ideas for daycare teachers as kids transition to the next room?
A: So sweet of you! I feel as though a lot of Magpie parents have suggested gift cards in the past (to popular coffee spots, Amazon, Sephora, a salon, or Target). If that feels too impersonal, maybe a personalized notepad wrapped in cellophane with a big red bow or a set of bookplates reading “from the library of Miss X’s Room”?
Q: Any ideas for asking girlfriends to be in your bridal party?
A: I invited my girlfriends over for dinner, cooked for them, and asked them on the spot–and then we all toasted together with a glass of champagne. If that’s not feasible thanks to coronavirus (sigh — is there anything this virus won’t touch?), I love the idea of sending a card in the mail. These are beautiful, I love the handwriting on these, and if you’re a fan of Bridesmaids…
A: Trust yourself. That was the best advice I received prior to becoming a mother. The first few weeks especially will be overwhelming, and there will be so many opinions floating around. Though it was hard to accept that I should trust myself when I felt I knew next to nothing about child-rearing, breast-feeding, or caring for a newborn (everyone else seemed to know so much more than I did!), my friend’s words were like a talisman around my neck, something I could reach for when I felt particularly overwhelmed or found myself inclined to do something that for whatever reason seemed “wrong” according to everyone else’s standards.
A friend (and pediatric doctor) once told me: “The moms always know when something’s wrong before we do. They just have a sixth sense. I always listen to the moms.” Listen to yourself!
Q: Any family photo outfit ideas? Taking them in September but hoping to use them for holiday cards.
A: Love this! I would go with something traditional and focus the palette around a timelessly chic color like navy, pale blue, or mint green. My preference would be to include a little bit of one chosen color on everyone — whether it means your daughter is wearing a white collared dress with a big mint green bow, your son is wearing a mint green jon jon, and you have a floral dress with mint green in it. I don’t think it all needs to match 100% — just tie together nicely. I also don’t think you need to wear something holiday-esque even if you’ll be sending the photo out in a holiday card! I’ve received so many beautiful family portraits at the beach, wearing jeans and white shirts, etc, and I never give it a second thought. A few ideas I love that have great coordinating and/or matching options for children:
Quick note to say Dermstore is running up to 25% off select beauty products but what you really need to know is that the promotion includes my favorite (very expensive) Oribe shampoo and conditioner! (The entire Oribe haircare line is 20% off here — I have also used their Bright Blonde collection in the past, and it is excellent.) I have slowly come to the perspective that the best shampoo is either drugstore Pantene Pro V or ultra-luxe Oribe, and a lot of the brands in the middle are just so-so and therefore not worth it–with the possible exception of Ouai, whose shampoo I really enjoy, but mainly for the scent and sudsiness. When it comes to actually delivering results: Pantene Pro V leaves me with the silkiest, most tangle-free hair and Oribe’s volumizing products actually volumize.
Anyway, if you’ve been looking for an occasion to test Oribe, this is it.
CUSTOM LUGGAGE TAG — I ACTUALLY USED SOMETHING LIKE THIS ON MINI’S TRAVEL STROLLER LAST YEAR, AS WE “PARKED” IT AT HER SCHOOL DURING THE SCHOOLDAY ALONG WITH AN ENTIRE WALL OF YOYOS (ONLY IN MANHATTAN…)
P.S. Serena & Lily is currently running a bedroom sale — my beloved dresser (which I eyed for several years before buying in the gray color) is on sale, as is my beloved bed, which I bought nearly seven years ago now. Also a fantastic time to stock up on sheets.
The Ralph Lauren bedding my mother bought me for my college dorm.
The number of calories in french fries.
Maintaining an over 4.0 GPA.
The sale section at Victoria’s Secret.
The UVA bumper sticker I affixed to the back of the hand-me-down forest green Toyota Camry I shared with my sister.
Earning all fives on my AP examinations.
Having a date to senior prom. His name was Enrique and he was a grade school friend of mine I’d had a crush on for years. It was an awkward night made more awkward by the fact that I’d not actually spoken to Enrique in person for years prior to asking him out. But I had a date. And he was cute.
Chatting with my girlfriends on AIM.
My secret AIM handle.
Sleepovers at the homes of my friends Elizabeth and Nicole.
Visiting my brother at college and seeming cool to his friends.
Mastering the words to “Still Fly” by Big Tymers.
Lilly Pulitzer dresses and Jack Rogers sandals.
The pictures affixed to the inside of my locker — all blurry, printed in 4×6 at the MotoPhoto in Cleveland Park, and presenting various permutations of my girlfriends and I with our arms around one another at the beach, at parties, at dances, in backyards. It was an unapologetically conspicuous mosaic of my perceived importance to other people.
My Kate Spade planner and the gel pens I used to color coordinate school assignments in it.
The pearl necklace my parents gave me for my senior portrait.
The notes my girlfriends and I would leave for one another pinned to the message board on the ground floor of Founder’s Hall: all shorthand for inside jokes; all pointless save for the externalized gesture of our friendship.
My J. Crew clogs.
The approval of my parents.
The degree to which my banana yellow uniform polo shirt could be faded — a strange proxy for laissez-faire rule-flouting and seniority at my high school.
Disguising my red-hot envy and humiliation in response to the news that not only one but two of my best girlfriends got into Princeton. (Did I mention that I did not?)
Ralph Lauren Romance perfume and Clinique Dramatically Different moisturizer.
The length of my uniform kilt (short / short / short).
*****
It’s strange to realize how little I valued the things that I would now give anything to reclaim: the fact that my maternal grandmother was still alive; the fact that I had flawless skin and a teenage body; the fact that I was not financially responsible for my life or its many comforts; the fact that my parents sat with me every night at the dining room table; the fact that I had my own bedroom in a beautiful stone house on a hill overlooking Rock Creek Park; the fact that I lived with the very best friends I will ever have in my life–my sisters–and I will never have the opportunity to spend so much sustained time in their presence again.
It’s also strange to realize that the only entry on this list that still matters to me today is the approval of my parents. I look back and have to suppress a desire to tsk at myself: “So much wasted energy.” But it wasn’t wasted energy. Features of prominence — test scores, applications, teen-sized relationships — loom, then recede, as we age, meaningful stepping stones to our future selves. So often, the mountains have proven to be foothills. But I’m grateful I took the ascent seriously at the time nonetheless: it has brought me here.
What did you care about at 18?
Post-Scripts.
*Image above of Kiernan Shipka wearing Gucci behind the scenes of a shoot for AnOther Mag.
+I know it feels like an eternity until fall will be here, but we’re only a hop, skip, and jump away — AllSaints has two really, really good coats on serious sale right now that are worth considering: this quilted liner jacket (originally $350, now $140 — I wore a similar style ALL FALL last year) and plaid stand collar topper.
+LOVE the way this cotton maxi dress is styled with ballerina flats (still holding out hope for a pair of these, monogrammed, this fall). Going to try this look for everyday ease!
+Absolutely LOVE these cute bee coasters! We have a lot of items with insects on them in our cupboard — bee glasses, dragonfly china, bee Laguiole steak knives. I need them!
Several years ago, Lindroth Design sent me one of their lovely Birkin basket bags and I have carried it every summer since. If you follow me on Instastories, you know that I nearly always wear it while walking my Airedale terrier. It goes with everything, is just big enough for hand sanitizer, phone, and credit card, and makes for easy one-handed access. It is currently marked down to only $45 (originally $180!) as a part of their tag sale! I also love these cheery placemats (on sale, four for only $29) and these happy napkins (on sale, four for $29).
Not on sale, but I’ve been eyeing this rattan coffee thermos forever. So chic for a casual breakfast spread!
I finally wiggled myself out of my skinny-jeans-only hole by trying these high-waisted, straight cut jeans from Agolde last fall and ended up loving them. My favorite way to wear them was with a voluminous or ruffly white top (like this or almost any of the exaggerated collar tops featured here) tucked in at the waist and my favorite suede pointed-toe pumps (I own this exact pair in five colorways, but you must know that they are on sale in ultra-versatile black for only $98 here — RUN).
So though I love my skinny jeans (my absolute favorite pairs are J. Brand in their photoready fabric — on sale! — and J. Crew’s toothpick style, both of which I own in multiple washes, though I have heard really good things about A.G.’s Farrah cut), I am eager to try additional new silhouettes, starting with these high-waist raw hem crop jeans (seen above, worn with aplomb) in a super-light wash from Frame denim. I haven’t worn cropped jeans since the aughts!
The other pair I am eyeing is a pair of wide leg cropped denim in ivory or off-white, which I think would make for an amazing winter white moment. I am considering these by new-to-me denim label Trave, these by cult-following brand Rachel Comey, or these from Agolde (since I have a sense for their sizing, which I would say runs slightly big at least based on the pair I bought last fall, but not big enough that I would suggest sizing down unless you’re truly between sizes).
I am sure many of us have gone through a lot more hand soap in 2020 than ever before.
At our kitchen sink, I nearly always have Mrs. Meyer’s liquid hand soap. It is inexpensive, nicely and not overpoweringly perfumed, and the perfect viscosity for cutting through hands soiled with meat juice or oil. We cook so much (and therefore wash our hands so frequently at the kitchen sink) that putting anything more expensive at the kitchen tap feels wanton. I like that they come out with seasonal scents like peony and peppermint, too. I find the Mrs. Meyers scents more sophisticated than those of most other widely available, reasonably-priced hand soaps.
All four of these will for sure leave you casually sniffing your hands in the aftermath of a cleanse.
I did just discover that Oribe makes hand soap — if you know their haircare products (I swear by their volumizing shampoo and conditioner), you know just how unbelievable their signature scent is. I don’t love the dispenser it comes in (such a petty admission!), but no worries — easy to decant into a marble soap dispenser (look for less with this). Might try this next.
By the front door, we always keep a hand sanitizer pump, and I love Megababe’s formula. Not drippy, dries quickly, and has a much less alcohol-forward scent than most.
*Image above from Pierpaolo Piccioli, designer for Valentino, featuring the stunning model Adut Akech wearing the most showstopping dress from one of his haute couture collections.
P.S. Also can’t miss from the final reductions in the Net-A-Porter sale: this dress, which, while non-maternity, was totally my pregnancy and post-partum style; this cheery floral; and this on-trend Doen.
You’re Sooooo Popular: Boho Mini.
The most popular items on the blog this past week:
I try to check in with myself along these lines somewhere around the midway point of each calendar year. As I sat with myself, reflecting on the intensity of 2020 to date, C.S. Lewis’ words came to mind:
“Experience is a brutal teacher. But you learn. My God. Do you learn.”
Reckoning in our personal relationships — especially with family, from whom many of us have been forcibly separated or forcibly kept together by this virus — for better or worse;
Reckoning in our understanding of race in America;
Reckoning in our sense of community, especially as we navigate this unprecedented public health threat;
Reckoning in our understanding of what really matters.
I have endured my own comeuppances across all of these categories this year. I have felt humbled, hurt, reassured, confused, determined, terrified, remorseful, optimistic. As a result, I am more careful than ever before in my interactions with others, and I will admit that the care stems from both self-serving caution and a will to afford others the benefit of the doubt. I see the vulnerability with which we are all living at the moment–so many of us just trying to get through our days, grieve our losses, nurse our wounds, all while living under such tremendous pressure that we will lash out with disproportionate angst at the most inconsequential of slights. I am guilty of this, too, of course: I stumbled through an uncomfortable conversation with a loved one a few weeks ago and then cried on and off for two days, unable to think of anything else. I knew my reaction was outsized, intemperate. But I had been living at my emotional capacity; I could not bear its added intensity.
So this year, so far, is the year of learning (in the words of HRH Mary Oliver) “…to enjoy, to question — never to assume, or trample….to observe with passion, to think with patience, to live always care-ingly.”
Half of me walks out the door of our New York apartment, orders a $6.45 iced oat milk latte from Joe’s Coffee, observes the notice that Le Petit Rooster on Columbus Avenue has closed, listens to a few minutes of an audiobook about the rise of Uber, leaps out of the way of an errant cyclist racing through a red light at 85th Street.
The other half of me is annotating what I am doing for you, dotting my unremarkable errand with your imagined marginalia —
That you don’t care for Joe’s coffee,
That even after three years of living in this exorbitantly-priced city of nightmares and dreams, you cannot oblige a $6.45 latte,
That we sat at Le Petit Rooster with my parents one pre-pandemic Saturday evening and you dashed off to the Gristedes across the street to buy my mother Advil when she complained of her aching shoulder,
That you will have an opinion about the author’s agenda in writing the Uber book,
That nothing grinds your gears more than the cyclists of Manhattan.
I will recount to you these fibrous nothings of my sojourn outside, accurately anticipating your replies, over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with our children next to us at the lunch table (knowing that you will only eat a PBJ once a week and then only if we have potato chips — plain, preferably Utz — and dill pickles on hand). I will whisper them to you in the narrow galley kitchen of our home after our son — whose nursery is right off the butler’s pantry and therefore unfortunately proximal to where you are cooking spaghetti with guanciale for dinner — has gone to sleep. I will text them to you while waiting at the stoplight, on my way to the UPS store to return those lampshades that did not fit. I will tuck them in among the heavier things that freight our emotional and intellectual lives at the moment.
These wafer-thin observations are the delicate webwork of ten years of marriage, of knowing you so well that when I am apart from you for even ten minutes grabbing coffee, at least half of that time, I am collecting the bric a brac of our eternal conversation, knowing what will interest and anger and sadden and delight you.
Put differently: I am only half living when we are apart. The other half is suspended in anticipatory conversation, waiting for the moment when I can fill you in.
I did not know this about marriage when I cried through our “I dos” ten years ago today. I could not have imagined, then, the way we now lay ourselves bare to one another, soul to soul, no space between us.
Happy ten years of marriage to my absolute beloved, my other half.
Cheers to 1000 more years together here and in the worlds beyond.
+If you have access to the Nordstrom Anniversary sale already, these Ferragamo loafers are the most elegant shoes for a gentleman and they rarely go on sale.
+Many of the beautiful pieces of fine jewelry here would make a lovely gift to commemorate an anniversary.
+Should have included this in my nursery roundup yesterday, but I absolutely love this chandelier for a nursery! And this one would be fun for a scandi-style one. (Imagine with other black/white pieces.)
+My sister recently mentioned that she uses bees wrap instead of saran wrap — brilliant and reduces single-use plastic! I specifically like the idea of storing hunks of cheese in these, as saran never works well anyway if you unwrap it more than once.
