If you’ve been a reader for awhile, you are probably tired of hearing me talk about my winter-to-spring uniform of striped Kule tees, skinny jeans, and my latest footwear obsession (this season: my new metallic Chanel ballet flats). These tees are beautifully made, comfortable, and they come out with the greatest color combinations. (And who doesn’t love a good stripe?) Lucky for us, they’ve just launched their annual sale! (If you can’t access the deals below, you may need to sign up to be an email subscriber.) I swear by their modern long shape which, despite the name, is not actually too long — hits around my hip, and I’m short (5’0). I would say these run TTS — I wear an XS and it’s loose but lean (which I prefer to the thick boxiness of a classic breton mariniere). My top picks from the sale:

DEVASTATED THEY’VE SOLD OUT IN THIS PRETTY LAVENDER/WHITE COMBO IN MY SIZE — MY TOP PICK FROM THE SALE!

TREATING MYSELF TO THIS FUN SPRING COLORWAY

HAVE NEVER TRIED THEIR SHORT SLEEVED TEES, BUT CONSIDERING GIVING THIS ONE A WHIRL! LOVE THE COLORS (ONLY $34!)

IN LOVE WITH THIS LOVE SWEATSHIRT

IF YOUR MAN IS INTO STRIPES, THIS IS SMART-LOOKING IN THE FOREST GREEN

ONLY $39 FOR THIS MODERN LONG! (PRINCETON GRADS, REJOICE!)

P.S. Under-$61 scores you need to know about.

P.P.S. Ultra-pretty Shopbop finds.

P.P.P.S. It’s never too late.

*Image above via NST Studio featuring their darling gingham knot bag.

I am swooning over this impractical canvas tote for Loewe for spring — impractical because the light-colored canvas will surely show wear before the season is out but that color! The shape! The leather trim! A few other handbags I love for the upcoming season, starting with the eight below and including some additional statements at all price points…

(01.) ELEGANT LADY BAG IN BLUE CROC

(02.) SCALLOPED-TOP TOTE (50% OFF!)

(03.) CHIC J.W. ANDERSON BELT BAG

(04.) CORDED BUCKET BAG (50% OFF)

(05.) BOTTEGA IS STILL PEAK FASHION AT THE MOMENT

(06.) NAGHEDI — LOVE THIS CLASSIC WOVEN STYLE THEY ARE KNOWN FOR, OR THIS CHUNKIER STYLE (SEEN ABOVE)

(07.) ETSY FIND: BAMBOO BAG WITH BOW

(08.) ANYTHING FROM ANYA, BUT ESPECIALLY THIS BOW TOTE (SEEN ABOVE) OR THIS QUIRKY ALL EYES BAG

A few others I’m loving at the moment…

GINGHAM KNOT BAG (SEEN IN PHOTO AT TOP — ALSO LOVE THEIR TOILE)

SMITTEN WITH PAM’S NEW SHOULDER BAG, BUT ALSO STILL LOVE AND PLAN TO HEAVILY WEAR MY FAVORITE BAG OF HERS FROM LAST SUMMER (NOW AVAIL WITH THE MOST DARLING RIBBON STRAP!)

CANVAS CAMERA BAG ($128!) — BUT SWAP OUT THE PROVIDED STRAP FOR ONE OF THESE IN A FUN PASTEL/STRIPE

$30 DUMPLING BAG

OVERSIZED FLORAL FABRIC TOTE (UNDER $100)

A CLASSIC HERVE CHAPELIER TOTE — WHO ELSE LOVED THESE IN COLLEGE?! WISHING I’D KEPT MINE…WOULD BE A GREAT BAG FOR TOTING CHILDREN’S STUFF

THIS BEADED GINGHAM BAG (CARRIE BRADSHAW VIBES!)

STATE BAGS BELT BAG (I OWN AND ADORE THIS) — OR THIS STYLE FROM DAGNE DOVER IN THE PRETTIEST FROSTED LILAC COLOR

FUN ROSE TIE-DYE METRO TOTE (ANYONE ELSE A HUGE M.Z. WALLACE FAN?)

STYLISH EMBROIDERED FISH TOTE FOR UNDER $30

DEAD (DEAD DEAD) OVER THIS LADY DIOR BAG

P.S. A few other fun springtime accessories: these corded bow earrings for $40, pastel Vejas or Tods on sale for $160 (!), and my favorite $69 sunglasses in a new color. And lots more warmer weather finds here.

P.P.S. Time to whitewash the house and musings on prayer.

“Bridgerton” was just renewed for a second season (!) and thought it had its faults and left me in a dizzy state of cognitive dissonance (<<some notes on the show in this post), I am excited that it will be returning. If nothing else, the show is pretty to look at and delightfully resonant with the grandmillennial trend I’ve been enjoying so thoroughly. (We can even dress our children in grandmillennial fashion!) Below, a few pieces that throw major Bridgerton vibes.

IF DAPHNE WORE A MASK, IT WOULD BE FROM FOFAS

ONE OF MY FAVORITE DRESSES FROM LAST SUMMER – ONLY $32!

NICOLA BATHIE CAMEO EARRINGS

JASPARWARE TRINKET BOX

EMBROIDERED TOP ($126!)

VINTAGE GOLD BOW CHAMPAGNE COUPES

ANYTHING BROCK, BUT ESPECIALLY THIS TOP (ON SALE FOR UNDER $200!), THIS TOP (THE PATTERN!), AND THIS DRESS (ALSO ON SALE)

ARTEMIS MULES

JEWELRY CASE IN THE PRETTIEST VINTAGE-INSPIRED PRINTS

FLORAL REFORMATION DRESS (ON SALE FOR AROUND $100)

THIS REFORMATION TOP — CURRENTLY SOLD OUT, BUT I FIND THIS BRAND DOES RE-STOCK AND WILL EMAIL WHEN BACK

SARAH BRAY SUNHAT WITH VINTAGE RIBBONS

FLORAL MEADOWS DRESS

STUNNING CAMEO RING

CHARINA SARTE TOP

CORSET TOP

THIS POTTED PLANT JUST BELONGS IN THIS ROUNDUP, PERIOD

MARKARIAN GOWN

RIBBON-PRINT HEADBAND

CAMEO BOBBY PINS

FLORAL JACQUARD BAGS

J’ADORE THIS REFORMATION

LE MONDE BERYL MULES (ON SALE!)

AGUA BENDITA MAXI

LR TOTE (ON SALE FOR $60!)

THIS LSF MAXI

PERFECT HEELS FROM LR

IF DAPHNE WORE SLIPPERS

NIGHTGOWN

VELVET BARRETTE (LOOK FOR LESS HERE)

Also keep your eyes peeled for HHH’s upcoming nap dress launch on February 10th — I got a sneak peek of the floral styles on the founder’s Instagram account and WOW.

P.S. Toile is like the step-sister to Bridgerton florals and damasks!

P.P.S. Muted green finds are also at home in this roundup.

P.P.P.S. A poem I love and some high school memories.

For years, I struggled with living in the present moment. I spent most of my teens and 20s angling toward The Next Thing — the admission letter, the internship, the serious boyfriend, the promotion, the engagement, the better apartment, the new job, the wedding, the first house, babies! It was hard not to: a lot happens in your 20s, and there are delicate timetables (leases! graduations! windows for promotion eligibility! bonuses! fertility!) and complicated career decisions and the daunting logistics of coordinating your aspirations and preferences with those of your loved ones. And I think ambition is a good thing, especially when you have the energy and general lack of responsibility I enjoyed in my 20s. That is to say: I can’t blame myself for flirting with the future as I moved through that decade.

Things have settled down in the last few years, as I slope towards 40. I feel as though I am where I am meant to be. I often talk about separating the “years that ask” from “the years that answer,” and though the past year has been one of incredible difficulty, isolation, and uncertainty (my experience paling in intensity company to that of countless many other Americans), I have to say that my mid-30s have in general felt like a big answer. Or, if not an answer articulate, the kind of reassurance you feel when a professor glances your way after you’ve been holding your hand in the air for five or six minutes and nods at you, acknowledging that you’ve been seen, you will be heard, and you are not far from response. You then sit, perhaps rehearsing your inquiry, but less fearful that your concerns will float out into the ether, unseen and illegible.

I think because I have enjoyed a greater sense of stability in the past few years, I have had the emotional space to intentionally focus on ways to feel more present and less harried. A few techniques that have provided acute relief:

+Understanding chores and exercise as a part of the architecture of my day — not “things that get in the way of living life,” but part and parcel of life itself. My sister and I have a shared shorthand for our former fluster as we’d positively barrel through errands and domestic drudgeries: we called it “slamming drawers and cabinets.” (“What were you up to today?” “Ugh, just slamming drawers and cabinets.”) Now I understand that things like ironing, baking a birthday cake, sorting the children’s clothing for donation, picking up prescriptions, scheduling appointments, etc., are actual tasks! That must be calendared! And treated like the time-consuming activities that they are! This reconceptualization has helped me move through my day with more control and — can I say it? — leisure. I now aim to make these admin tasks as pleasant as I can, whether folding laundry while watching a TV show, ironing while listening to an audiobook, or doing the dishes while enjoying a cup of tea or a glass of wine.

+Related to the above, casting my domestic responsibilities as equal entrants on my daily to-do lists. That is to say, nestled right alongside a call with a non-profit I have been working with, answering the comments on my blog, and editing that think piece I’ve been working on, I will also include ticks for: order groceries, check to make sure Tilly’s vaccines are up to date, follow up with other class mom on Valentine’s Day activity, and drop return at UPS. In aggregate, these trivial tasks take up a lot of time and consume a considerable amount of space in my daily mental load. It has been helpful to organize these items on my to do list not only because it makes me feel more productive and ensures that nothing will fall through the cracks — but because it is a visual reminder that I am owning a lot of things, and that those tiny things matter. Accounting for them helps me be more realistic about what I can do in a given day, which in turn affords me a sense of control and accomplishment.

+Banning my phone from bed. This was a difficult habit to break, but the benefits were immediate: I started falling asleep so much faster and sleeping so much more soundly. I think this is partly because I am no longer over-stimulating myself just before bed but the habit has afforded the added benefit of setting an invisible boundary: “The day is over; now it is time to sleep.” The only thing to do once I climb into bed is sleep. It makes my bedtime rituals feel much quieter, more intentional, stripped of distraction. Cannot recommend this enough.

+Creating a fifteen-minute buffer period between the end of work and the start of my evening home and parenting duties.

+Dedicating time to Mr. Magpie after the children are down. It starts in the kitchen, just after I’ve cleared the melee of dishes, toys, flung clothing, and stray noodles from our apartment and dipped outside into the brisk winter air to take Tilly on a walk. I then hurry down the long butler’s pantry extension of our L-shaped kitchen and stand propped against the counter, watching Mr. Magpie cook, drinking a glass of wine, unwinding, chatting or not chatting about the day, tutting as Mr. Magpie criticizes a recipe or extols the virtues of bronze-cut pasta, fetching plates or clearing the counter as his forever sous-chef. We almost always listen to music — The Toots and the Maytals providing considerable release one recent evening — and then we sit down to eat, going over our STPs (Shoop Talking Points — all of the items we must discuss on a given day, from upcoming doctor’s appointments to what gift to send for a nephew’s birthday to our meal plan for the week and even bigger ticket items pertaining to our professions or family members or parenting technique) and then, usually, watching a show. We are disciplined about keeping our phones out of reach during this portion of the night, and it feels like a one or two-hour vacation.

Looking back on this list, I realize how many of these are simply formalizations, or ritualizations, of common sense instincts, all of them together orchestrated to help me lead a more measured, less frenetic quotidian life in which every segment of the day can be — if not enjoyed, then at least well-managed. Somehow building the logistical shell around, for example, “the 15 minute end-of-work buffer” by extending our caregiver’s hours, and organizing high priority concerns into a digital list of “talking points,” and categorically banning my phone from bed have helped me achieve a better pace, a better “mouthfeel,” as I move through my day. And it is all, I now realize, about boundary-setting and line drawing.

One area I need to work on is being present and putting my phone out of reach when with the children. I often find success in this area when I have planned activities for them that I can lead and participate in. I find it far more difficult during hour 23098 of the weekend, when we are all tired and I don’t know that I have it in me to persist through the next hour of free play, or just after I’ve completed the morning shift. Mr. Magpie and I trade off the morning shift; when I’m on deck, this entails emptying the dishwasher, sweeping the kitchen, scrubbing the cooktop, replenishing the ice, making breakfast, changing morning diaper, administering bottle, feeding children, cleaning up after breakfast, taking temperatures and filling out health check for school, packing lunch, brushing children’s teeth and hair, and dressing the children. By the time I’ve completed all of those tasks (in about a 1.5 hour window), I just want to sit, quietly, with my phone for a spell, but this is often when my children are at their most energetic! If it’s a school day, Hill wants to run around the apartment, or have me read him books, or pull out and empty every puzzle on the shelf, one by one. And I am always keenly aware that this little window — after Emory leaves and before our caregiver arrives — presents a special sliver of one-on-one time with my boy. But it is hard to resist the desire to just sit and glaze over, checking my phone, or immediately lunge into the process of getting myself ready for the day, or pitter-patter around the apartment taking care of other things. The same goes for weekend afternoons, when I am usually feeling depleted from my exertions in activities and crafts and excursions outdoors. I feel a voice inside tell me: “Come on, Jen, get down on that floor and play with those Maileg mice! Read that stack of books with Emory! Pull out the crayons! Or, at least, just sit in quiet, watching and observing. You do not need to check your phone. Be present!” It is a challenge.

Any advice in this category, friends?

What helps you stay in the present moment?

Post Scripts.

+Another memory from my 20s: a serious case of imposter syndrome.

+The quality of clothing from this brand is generally unimpressive, but this top is super cute and this cardigan reminds me of the Sandro ones we were all obsessed with earlier this season.

+Adorable Pam Munson bag on sale for almost 40% off. I loved when she used this pastel madras liner for her bags!

+One of my favorite posts I wrote last year, on legacy and lineage.

+Fun vintage cameo earrings for under $20 if you’re looking for a more understated approach to my favorite Nicola Bathies!

+Such pretty melamine plates for your outdoor dining setup this spring!

+Beautiful guest towels.

+A recipe for a rainy day.

+This bold La Double J one-piece (on serious sale)!

+Love this striped, longline cardigan (under $100).

+Just restocked our art supply cabinet with fresh watercolors, watercolor paper, and gel crayons (as of the time of writing this, these are 50% off the set of 24 — we LOVE this brand and these crayons in particular, which I find are particularly good for little ones as they positively glide over paper).

+Everything in Mi Golondrina’s Valentine’s Day Collection is beyond. I’m dying over this dress but thinking it would be too long on me and it’s always tricky tailoring a dress with a tier like that along the bottom. But this gingham top…! Ahhh!

+An ode to the em dash.

+Still some time to score Valentine’s Day finds for your loved ones here.

+Meanwhile, if you can believe it, most sizes of this St. Patrick’s Day clover pajama set are already sold out!

+Some idle musings brought about by a piece of classic music.

+Remembering my grandfather.

+Gosh I love this dress!

+Gorgeous top.

One of my favorite childrenswear labels, CPC Kids, is back on Zulily and I had to snag these shorts for mini and these shortalls for micro for the upcoming summer season. I’ve written extensively about their girl shorts in the past, but they are my absolute favorite for mini — I find a lot of traditional brands run super long and “floofy” in pants/shorts and these are nice and tailored and a little on the shorter side. Mini already owns several of the other ones they have featured on sale, including these gingham ones and these plaid ones (sibling match with these shortalls, this bubble, or this dress — which mini has owned in different prints the last few summers!). I would say the shorts run TTS — perhaps a tiny bit on the small side, as does the Maddie dress.

The shortalls for boys, on the other hand, run on the large side — I would size down if you’re in question.

The sale also includes some fantastic pima cotton basics, like white polo shirts for $13 and striped everyday dresses for $23.

Happy shopping!

P.S. ICYMI: ballerina finds for littles and some quiet thoughts on parenting.

P.P.S. Trying to do a better job of keeping my shops updated — here are some great recent children’s finds, including a sweet seersucker striped swimsuit on sale for around $12.

I am thrilled today to simultaneously showcase two women of substance, Elise Labau and Florencia Cavallo, the founders of Golden Edit, an online destination focused on curated warm-weather essentials year-round. Based on the fact that many of your recent shopping inquiries were dialed in on warmer weather finds, I couldn’t think of a better small business to feature as we barrel towards a brighter (more temperate!) future, one where travel might even be realistic.

florencia elise golden edit official

Elise and I met through our daughters (!) and over the course of chatting about parenting, the pandemic, and the wild vicissitudes of 2020, I learned that she had founded a beautiful online boutique that celebrates travel, craftsmanship, and sustainability for “women who love to follow the sun.” As it turns out, Elise is a certified “follower of the sun”: born in the South of France, she fell in love with the turquoise waters of St Barths, a French-speaking Caribbean island that fostered a long-lasting sense of wonder and wanderlust. She moved to the United States at an early age to study management and public relations, working for luxury lifestyle brand Calypso St Barth (may it RIP — I loved that brand) before moving to the agency side. Elise took a break to spend two years traveling around Turkey before returning to the US as VP of Fashion for a New York-based PR firm. In non-pandemic times, Elise and her family split their time between New York, St. Barths, the Balearic Islands, Turkey, and Lake Como. Her bright-eyed, smart daughter looks to follow in her mother’s footsteps, boasting a similarly adventurous spirit as a budding ski star (at the age of five!)

I was further captivated by Elise and her business when I learned that she’d founded Golden Edit with a fellow female entrepreneur, Florencia. Born in Argentina, Florencia lived in Buenos Aires until her family moved to Australia when she was 12. Not knowing how to speak a word of English, she immersed herself in the “Aussie” culture and picked up the language quickly. Her experience with rapid language acquisition led her to pursue a Communications degree and in turn work as a journalist before switching gears to public relations. Like Elise, Florencia is a globetrotter, having recently traveled to a range of destinations including San Miguel, Second Valley, Mykonos, Santa Margherita, and Montego Bay.

Elise and Florencia have generously offered us 20% off their entire online boutique with code MAGPIE20 from now through February 28, 2021. This is the ideal time to snag one of the SZ Blockprints pieces I’ve been raving about for nearly two years — a key part of my summer uniform. Love this kurta, this maxi, and this caftan (I own several of this style). I’m also swooning over this pretty Loup Charmant dress and this billowy Mirth dress. Give me all the breezy sundresses, pls and thank you! They also carry the ultra-coveted Sarah Bray Bermuda sunhats!

Get to know Elise and Florencia and their beautiful business a bit better but following them on Instagram and reading about them in the questionnaire below.

Your favorite qualities in a woman. We love women who’ve built the lives they aspire to, especially if it involves sunshine! In a lot of ways, they were our inspiration in starting Golden Edit.

Your favorite heroine. Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Yesterday, today, and always.

Your main fault. We’re always striving for more. We are never fully satisfied.

Your greatest strength. We very much complete one another, but our combined ability to take that initial leap into building this business. And also persistence!

Your idea of happiness. Summer year-round. We both grew up near the water (Florencia in Argentina and then Australia; Elise in St Barth’s and Mallorca) and are happiest chasing the sun. We created Golden Edit so we could live in a perpetual state of sunshine.

Your idea of misery. Not being able to travel; being “grounded.” This year has been so trying for that reason. Our bucket lists have never been so long. Summer 2021, here we come!

Currently at the top of your shopping lust list. A gorgeous Sarah Bray Bermuda hat complete with vintage ribbons.

Desert island beauty product. A dewy face mist that smells like coconuts.

Last thing you bought. Our very own cozy Summer, always crewneck sweatshirt.

I feel most empowered wearing… A great swimsuit and breezy cover up, on our way to a favorite beach for a morning swim. Oh, and freshly sun-kissed skin.

Favorite Magpie post. Every Woman of Substance post. We are forever inspired by strong women who’ve dared.

P.S. More warm weather finds.

P.P.S. Ironic that I wrote about wanderlust in August 2019, just a few months shy of being — in the words of Elise and Florencia — semi-permanently “grounded”!

P.P.P.S. Another way to feign warmer days: have an indoor BBQ or picnic! (Great recipes in both of those posts.)

It started with this monogrammed pillow from Biscuit Home for micro (this applique monogram style in red and blue is also darling) and now I can’t stop my obsession with the pairing of red and aqua. I just added this fish tote to my cart (and I need a straw bag like I need a hole in my head! — but $28 and absolutely adorable with its Positano vibe) and this monogrammed notepad, too. A few other recent finds in this magnetic color pairing:

CHIC (!) PRINTED PUFFER (REVERSIBLE!)

MINI’S LIBERTY LONDON X VEJA SNEAKS (ON SALE!)

ERDEM SHIRTDRESS (AHHH!)

LE SIRENEUSE POSITANO OFTEN PLAYS WITH THIS COLOR PAIRING — LOVE THESE SHORTS AND THIS SKIRT (ESPECIALLY WITH MY STRAW TOTE)

JW ANDERSON BELT BAG (!!)

STRIPED PAJAMAS FOR YOUR LITTLES

WELL-PRICED BABY QUILT WITH ADORABLE FISH PRINT

LACQUER TRAY

TURQUOISE COAST COFFEE TABLE BOOK

TERRYCLOTH POUCH (PERFECT FOR BEACH/POOL ESSENTIALS)

D PORTHAULT TOWELS

PARAVEL TOTE

STRIPED TEE (IMAGINE PAIRED WITH A SOLID RED BAG OR THESE GLOSSY GUCCI SLIDES

FRAMED LETTER

SWIMSUIT FOR A LITTLE

ATHLETIC TWO-PIECE SWIMSUIT

HEADBOARD!!!

P.S. More coffee table styling scores and, while on the loose subject of coffee, musings on hiking, coffee, and my own ipseity.

P.P.S. Another color I’m majorly into at the moment.

P.P.P.S. Still rocking a lot of turtlenecks these days, hbu?

An extra 30% off sale items at RL, which means we can score classics like long-sleeved polos and barn coats (these for girls, these for boys) at a ridiculous discount. It’s also an amazing opportunity to snap up some unfussy basics at unbelievable (Old Navy!) prices: these long-sleeved tees are around $5, these waffle-knit leggings are $8, footies for under $15, and tiny mittens for $10.

If you can believe it, this cashmere cable knit crewneck (so classic in that blue!) for an older boy is only $76 (originally $250), and this unbelievably darling plaid raincoat for a little lass is $46!

P.S. Sweet baby and toddler pajamas for under $20 and how fun are the new SCL x Roller Rabbit palm tree jammies, just launched this morning?! These are sure to go quickly and they feel like vacation. I find RR runs small (size up for children) but fairly TTS in adult sizes (I take an XS). And on the subject of just-launched: I know several of you are huge fans of Bisby, and they have some cute pre-orders just now available, including little dresses like this, which are perfect for schooldays!

P.P.S. A bunch of darling finds for little ladies here, most under $30.

P.P.P.S. Heart overalls for little ladies under $20!

A few of my absolute favorite items I use daily…

+My planner (seen above — not sponsored, just love this thing). I have used a planner since high school, but am so impressed with my recent upgrade to one of these heavy-duty and enormous Day Designers. I wrote about it last week, but at first I thought it’d be overkill (and a brick to carry around with me), but I really love all the space to detail out my goals, activities, etc., and find the little boxes for “Today’s Top 3” and “Daily Gratitude” lovely additions to my day. Even before I had this particular brand, though, I have leaned on planners to help me not only stay organized and feel productive about my day, but to help ease my mental load. It is such a relief to have a thought like “oh, I need to schedule a routine checkup appointment for Hill but they aren’t taking appointments now — I’ll just add an item to my agenda three months out.” One less thing floating around in my mind. (I have also loved Sugar Paper’s planners in years past.)

+Bonavita Electric Tea Kettle. I drink herbal tea after lunch and this electric kettle heats up lightening fast, ensures the perfect brew (water temperature is super important, and you can set the temperature to the exact degree you’d like it), and is strangely delightful to pour from. I believe these gooseneck kettles are specifically designed for pour over coffee, but I love it for tea, too. Mr. Magpie has been eyeing this upgrade pick, which comes in such cool matte colors (!), but we have no reason to swap out our workhorse.

+Elizabeth Arden 8 Hour Cream. I use this at least twice a day on my lips (the best ointment for dry lips!), but it also comes in handy for any number of abrasions/irritations as well as cuticles and even seriously dry patches of skin. My mom has used this for as long as I can remember, and I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

+Crate + Barrel Appetizer Plates. The perfect size for a snack, a tea bag rest, a side salad, a bread plate, a makeshift spoon rest, a post-dinner cookie, even a dish for beneath a planter. Unfussy, goes with any tabletop, and shows food beautifully if you’re in it for style points.

+Caran D’Ache Pen. A gift from Mr. Magpie, this pen just brings me joy. It’s always at my side and it writes like a dream.

+Miele C1 Vacuum. I’ve written extensively about this vacuum (most recently on this list of home gear I love), but barely a day goes by when I do not pull this out. Two small children and a big dog make for a lot of messes!

+1Password. A digital password manager that keeps track of all my passwords and generates new ones that are secure and difficult to crack. I used to use the same password over and over and over again for ease of remembering and I’ve been hacked one too many times to go down that path again. Once you get over the fear of losing your master password (literally a nightmare), this handy app/site keeps track of every single log-on you can possibly think of. The tools themselves take a minute to get used to and require installation on multiple devices but once you’ve got the system up and running, it is SO amazing to never have to look up or reset a password manually again.

+Pouches on pouches on pouches. I am not a bag lady — I’m a pouch lady. I use them in every bag and all over my children’s bedrooms, too. A few of my favorites:

TRUFFLE

WET/DRY BAGS FOR CHILDREN

BAGGU POUCHES, ESPECIALLY FOR STROLLER!

STONEY CLOVER

ZIP TOP BAGS FOR LITTLE TOY/PUZZLE PIECE ORGANIZATION

FOR TOILETRY “BACKSTOCK”/SAMPLE ORGANIZATION

+My Kindle. Truly has changed the rate at which I read. (Being more intentional about my reading habits is one of my goals for 2021. So far this year, I’ve read three books, and one of them is easily one of the best books I’ve read in the last decade!)

+My AirPods. Love these specifically because it can enable me to chat with my parents and siblings, hands-free, while walking Tilly in the cold at night, ironing/folding laundry, and even tidying up the kitchen. I also enjoy listening to audiobooks in between running errands or on my way back from dropping mini off at school. Unnecessary, but kind of loving one of these personalized airpods cases!

What items do you use and love daily?

P.S. A few random finds I am loving today: these Louis XVI-style dining chairs which are super similar to the Restoration Hardware ones in our dining room but at a fraction of the price, this quilted knit jacket (such good colors and perfect for transition to spring!), anything from Juliet Dunn for warmer weather, and Gucci ped socks.

P.P.S. Any of the items above would make such great, practical, sure-to-be-used gifts for a loved one. (More gift ideas here.)

P.P.P.S. I’ll admit it: I’ve fallen into a denim rut again. HALP. And, ICYMI, a roundup of pretty pastel fitness finds!

Are you gearing up to celebrate a little one’s birthday? In general, my favorite brand for occasions like birthdays, Baptisms, and the like is Luli and Me — absolutely stunning pieces that you’ll want to pass down to cousins, siblings, grand-children, or maybe just frame in your child’s closet. Show-stopping, heirloom quality pieces with just the right amount of detail and restraint. My heart stops for sets like this and this. Bellabliss’s just-launched heirloom collection strikes a similar tone — I specifically adore this collared romper for a baby boy on his first birthday. I have also had very good luck buying special occasion pieces for mini at Sal E Pimenta — items like this dress are beyond for a spring birthday; I actually bought mini this one for her upcoming fourth birthday!

However, it’s also fun to snag outfits with a deliberate birthday theme — candles, cake, balloons! — and so I’m sharing a couple of precious birthday outfits for toddlers and young children below…

Birthday Dresses for Little Girls.

DARLING BUNNIES AND BALLOONS

PROPER PEONY ALWAYS DOES THE BEST (ALSO LOVE THIS) — I’VE BOUGHT SIMILAR STYLES FROM THIS BRAND THE LAST TWO YEARS!

THIS VINTAGE-STYLE PINTUCKED DRESS IS PRECIOUS (AND ON SALE)

SCALLOP-COLLARED DRESS

THIS ICE CREAM DRESS IS NOT EXPLICITLY BIRTHDAY BUT…IT IS AT THE SAME TIME! TOO SWEET

Birthday Outfits for Little Boys.

PARTY ANIMAL ROMPER OR SHORTALL

FLORENCE EISEMAN DINO JON JONS

BIRTHDAY CAKE BUBBLE

Birthday Hats.

These are great for first birthdays in particular!

SWEETEST MONOGRAMMED STYLES

TINY CROWN FOR A LITTLE KING

MINI GLITTER PARTY HATS (LOOK FOR LESS HERE)

THIS SHOP HAS TONS OF THEMED STYLESTHIS ONE WOULD HAVE BEEN CUTE FOR MINI’S PETER RABBIT THEMED BIRTHDAY!

MERI MERI ALWAYS DOES THE BEST ONES FOR GROUPS

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEADBAND

DON’T FORGET THE HIGH CHAIR BANNER!

Birthday Jammies.

FESTIVE CAKE PRINT FROM PETITE PLUME

PERSONALIZABLE ETSY FIND

CECIL & LOU

BUNNIES AND BALLOONS

HARD TO FIND, BUT YOU CAN STILL FIND TBBC’S NOW-RETIRED BIRTHDAY PRINT BY SCOURING THE WEB

P.S. Any of these and these would make great birthday gifts for little ones.

P.P.S. A couple of sweet birthday invitation ideas in the event that you can manage to pull one off in COVID times…this, this, this. And I’m sure Erin would work with you on something darling and custom. Imagine this as a starting point!

P.P.P.S. A letter to mini on her first birthday. (Sigh.)

My sister recently shared the observation (borrowed in part from a book she has been reading on nonviolent communication) that when there is a problem in life, people tend to do one of four things: blame others, blame themselves, sense their needs and feelings, or sense the needs and feelings of others. “The ideal,” she said, “is to hold three and four in either hand and realize that both deserve empathy.”

I was shook! Such an astute reading. For many years — from childhood through my twenties, I think — I blamed myself for most unpleasant or painful situations that arose. I will never forget the day I was parallel parking in a tight spot in Chicago’s beautiful Lincoln Park neighborhood, right in front of Floriole on Webster Avenue, when a man in an enormous SUV made a big show of being in a rush: accelerating too fast, slamming on the breaks behind me, gesticulating out the window, and then — after I took too long finagling my way into the spot, sweating bullets the entire time — he careened around me into oncoming traffic, rolled down his window, and gave me the finger, yelling something disgusting in his wake as he sped off. I was, in a different and far worse way, shook. No one had ever spoken to me that way, or given me the finger for that matter. The casual cruelty of it! I was flustered for the entire day and prone to sweat-inducing flashbacks whenever I attempted to park on a busy street for weeks to come. But when I reported the incident to Mr. Magpie in a tone of righteous rage — how dare he! — I was sharply aware that I was only miming indignation. It was the hardened exterior shell protecting the softer inner feelings of shame and frustration at having caused someone inconvenience or angst. Maybe I had lingered too long trying to angle my car in? It was a crowded street! Maybe I had stolen his spot without realizing it? I should be more aware! I should have given up after that first try, I guess? I really need to learn how to park better. The accusations came fast and furious. It was much harder for me to say, and believe, that I had simply been dealing with an enormous prick.

There are other stories like this, too personal and tender to share here, that coagulate around my guilt and self-reproach over failures in relationships with people I love. For years and years, I assumed I alone was the culprit in these embroilments.

In a strange way, starting and closing my business helped me out of that rut. Mr. Magpie and I often refer to the years of running a business together as a gradual unveiling of the world as it is. By this I mean that we learned, in thousands of excruciating interactions, that people generally mean well, but are driven by private motivations and anxieties that often cluster around necessary self-preservation. I slowly began to learn to take fewer things personally. And not by erecting a wall around myself, exactly, but by apprehending that people are subject to forces entirely beyond my ken and control, and that often my interactions with them are only incidental, even accidental, in relation to their core concerns.

He’s not angry at me, I would observe, carefully, as I pitched my business for the ten trillionth time to an irritated client or a brusque venture capitalist — he’s tabulating the fifteen other items on his list, or agonizing about the bad quarter he’s had, or digesting troubles at home. All I can do is show up prepared and with an open mind and trust in my gut that I’m doing my best. I can’t control his day or how I fit into his plans.

From a sales standpoint, Mr. Magpie called this “the art of collecting nos.” The quicker you can get to a definitive yes or no (far more commonly a “no” in the world of sales), the better — you waste less time and less resources, you notice patterns that help you expedite the process with future prospects, and you develop the thick skin you need to succeed. You learn to take less offense at unpleasantries and awkwardnesses and also realize that about 50% of your sales touchpoints have nothing to do with the widget you are selling and everything to do with understanding the world of your customer, much of which is cluttered with issues far outside your realm of focus.

These observations spilled over into the personal realm, too. Curt exchanges with passersby, unthinkably rude interactions with strangers, clipped conversations with loved ones — over time, I have found myself increasingly capable of letting these things go, of shrugging off the slights, of reminding myself, as a reader recently and brilliantly noted, that “guilt is very often our reaction to other people’s feelings — which they are entitled to, and we are not in control of.” I am far from consistent on this front, of course. I recently went off the deep end arraigning the wounding behavior of a friend, only to have my Dad say: “you know, Jen, you don’t know the full story. You’ve got to let this go.” And more often than I’d like, a stray arrow glides over the battlement and lodges itself in that vulnerable space between the thick skin public writing and running a business and just surviving for 37 years on this earth requires, and the dispassionate logic of which I know myself to be capable. And in those moments, sometimes I find that it’s not entirely bad to start from a place of self-reproach. The activity of analyzing what I might have done wrong or could have done differently in a given situation is often productive, or at least humbling. It helps me ferret out my blind spots, stretch to think how others might feel. Besides, I remain leery of leaning too far into a mindset of “it’s not my problem, it’s theirs!”, as if universally exonerated from blame.

Still, it is a perilous perch, and if I am not careful, it can lead to unhealthy browbeating. So I will continue to strain towards that ideal my sister helpfully outlined at the top of this post: holding empathy for myself in my right hand and empathy for others in my left.

How do you feel on this subject?

Post-Scripts.

+Recent musings on saying the right thing.

+More on building and shuttering our business in this post on my professional journey.

+Already missing the days when I could get away with putting mini in sets like this. Too beyond adorable.

+Just bought Mr. Magpie these Vejas.

+Cute little top to pair with jeans!

+The kind of thing I live in during the summer.

+This fish print quilt! On sale for $25 and so adorable for a little boy’s room (or a tummy time mat! or a picnic blanket!)

+And speaking of fish print, how amazing is this $28 bag?!

+A clever way to keep tupperware lids organized.

+The perfect everyday summer bag does not exis–

+J’adore this breezy mini for summer! Those bows on the shoulder! (Under $40!!). Cute with Supergas or GGs or Vejas.

+Are you a private person?

+If you are an expecting mama, please treat yourself to a Sleeper Brigitte dress while on sale! So beautiful, works with bump, and great for nursing, too. On sale in the orange for under $100 (!!) and in the white for only $104!

+This dress has haunted me for a year now. I was considering it in white for my birthday last year…now it’s in perfect pink!!!

+It’s been a minute since I raved about this $8 secret to keeping my engagement ring sparkly.

+These boyfriend jeans are seriously trending. I’m eyeing a pair!

+Cute blockprint napkins at a great price.

+Are you a town mouse or a country mouse?

+Cute athletics shorts for older girls.

+I swear by these sponges, but people rave about this wooden dish brush. Slightly more attractive than a sponge, too.

Mini took “pre-ballet” classes (movement class with a ballet inflection) until she started her twos program, and those memories are among the strongest I have of her before she became a sibling. We used to walk about ten blocks to get to class, her tiny ballet shoes just visible from my view over the stroller’s sunshade, and she would turn heads in her enormous bow and fluffy tutus, and I would peacock down the street in pride. The “free dance” portion of the class was always her favorite: the teachers would dim the overhead lights and turn on a strobe light and upbeat music, and I would watch her flit around the room, laughing giddily, often with a fabric scarf trailing behind her. One day, they put on “Little Surfer Girl” by the Beach Boys during free dance and I found tears streaming down my cheeks as I watched her from the sidelines: so little, so inhibition-free, so perfect. I knew the lyrics to be mawkishly romantic, but how could I not hear these lines as if intended for us:

Little surfer, little one
Made my heart come all undone

I had also enrolled her in a toddler ballet class to be held on the weekend just before COVID hit this past spring that we then obviously were unable to attend. She still asks after it every now and then and I’m hopeful we can get her into a class before the end of this year, but perhaps we’ll have to consider soccer or another outdoor sport in the interim, as the weather thaws and if COVID cases decline in NYC…

At any rate. I’ve come across so many sweet ballet finds for little ones in the past few weeks! Wanted to share a few here, many of which would make darling gifts for a little love:

I LOVE PLUM TUTUS — MINI HAS OWNED A FEW (MY FAVORITE WAS PROBABLY THE CLASSIC PINK SEEN ON HER ABOVE) AND THEY ARE BEYOND ADORABLE

MINI ALSO HAD A FEW OF THESE LESS EXPENSIVE, LESS FROU-FROU LEOTARD-SKIRT COMBOS

LOVE IS A TUTU — ONE OF MINI’S FAVORITE BOOKS; IT’S A BIT ABSTRACT BUT THE ILLUSTRATIONS/GRAPHICS ARE EYE-CATCHING

$10 OLD NAVY JAMMIES!

COLOR-CHANGING BALLERINA UMBRELLA!

BALLET SHOE PRINT TURTLENECK

MISS LINA’S BALLERINAS — JUST ORDERED THIS ONE FOR MINI’S BOOKSHELF!

SO MANY SWEET BALLET-THEMED DOLLS/STUFFIES — I LOVE THESE ONES FROM MON AMI, MINI TREASURES HER JELLYCAT ONE,

MINI LOVES THIS MAILEG BALLET SCHOOL SET

CLASSIC BLOCH BALLET SHOES FOR TINY FEET

GINGHAM DUFFEL BAG WITH BALLET EMBROIDERY FOR ALL HER GEAR — OR GET HER A MONOGRAMMED VARIATION FOR LESS!

MINI LOVES MAGNETIC PLAY SETS LIKE THIS

BALLERINA PUZZLE OR PUZZLE STICKS

BALLERINA SENSORY PLAY SET AND TRAVEL ART SET

PAJAMAS: SWEETEST NIGHTGOWN OR PIMA COTTON SET

KNEE SOCKS

LOVE A PIMA DAY DRESS

BEST STICKER BOOK BRAND — MINI ADORES THESE

EVERY GIRL NEEDS ONE OF THESE JEWELRY BOXES! I HAD ONE

AFFIX ONE OF THESE DECALS ONTO A PINK POUCH FOR ACCESSORIES!

PERSONALIZED STATIONERY

FOR ITTY BITTIES: BALLET BIB, BALLET SHOE SOCKS, BURP CLOTH, AND FOOTIE

P.S. Also digging the grown-up ballerina-inspired finds from Reformation, LSF, and especially Live the Process (desperate for these leggings and this top, styled just as shown, with gray tube socks).

P.P.S. Heart print finds.

P.P.P.S. Mini is my other heartbeat.