While we were filtering in and out of the doctor’s office last week, I was thinking of how complicated it must be to be a doctor. For many reasons. But the one that leapt out at me was just how adept they are at navigating nuance, between “reading” the patient (and his or her parents, in the case of pediatricians), analyzing the symptoms and their severity in order to diagnose, and applying hard-earned field knowledge to the situation at hand. For example, when Hill came down with strep, the doctor suggested I bring Emory in the day following (even though she was symptom-free) because often it can take a day or two for strep to spread between siblings, if it does spread at all, and she’d had multiple situations where a sibling had tested negative at the time patient zero tested positive, and then 24 hours later, had come back with a full-blown case of strep. Her thought on the pacing of the testing was so fascinating to me, and proved true, too — we brought Emory in 24 hours after Hill had gone on antibiotics, and she was still feeling right as rain, and — bam. Positive strep test. There is so much fluidity and complexity to these scenarios! It made me wonder if doctors feel that their roles are misunderstood — i.e., they are not monoliths, robotically analyzing data and test results to spit out a prescription or course treatment, but rather good listeners, running thoughtful forensics.
This in turn made me wonder: what’s something you wish people understood about the work you do? I’m using “work” loosely — it could be anything from a hobby to a career. I’m mainly interested in something that people consistently “miss” about something you’re good at doing. This could be something as technical as “it takes a really long time to produce a well-edited 10 seconds of video footage” (yes ma’am) or as philosophical as “a doctor’s primary job is not to heal; it’s to listen.” (That last one I pulled out of thin air so just using as a loose example.)
Please share yours! I’m curious to hear the insider intel about what most people misunderstand about your job in finance, real estate, medicine, education, sales, etc!
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For my part, having talked to a lot of budding writers as well as people who do not identify as writers, I think the main things people misunderstand about writing are:
a) Writing is not only what shows up on the page — it is pre-writing (in my experience, roughly half the process of writing is pre-writing), it is line-editing, it is revision at the draft level, it is paragraph (or page, or section, or chapter) design, it is titling (its own debilitating beast). I’m probably missing some steps, too. In some ways, I feel I’m always writing because I am tinkering with phrasing, picking up new ideas, chewing on word choice, even when I’m not at the desk.
b) Writing is hard. I think there is a myth that once you become a good or established writer, it becomes easier. If it feels easy, it’s probably not good — no offense. The exception here is the rare and elusive state of writing flow that I achieve maybe a handful of times a year, in which everything clicks and words fly. But back when I was teaching writing to undergraduates at Georgetown, this was something I routinely told my students: “Writing is hard.” Normalizing its difficulty often had the result of empowering my students. (As William Zinsser put it: “Writing is hard work. A clear sentence is no accident.”)
c) There is no one way to do it. I remember an interview with Ann Patchett in which she said that a pompous reporter had expressed outrage that she didn’t have a descriptionary (a book where you can look up the technical terms for animals, architecture, medicine, etc). He insisted this was a requisite for authorship. Can you imagine telling Ann Patchett how to write? I’ve had writers I respect insist that I need to have a chapter plan before I can start writing a novel; this vaguely reminded me of grade school and early high school English, in which I had to submit outlines before writing essays, even though I have never once drawn up an outline for something I’ve written as an adult. Not even in grad school! But I felt a strange sensation of embarrassment for a minute. As in — oh God, I’ve been found out! I’m not a writer after all! But I thought about this for awhile and realized I’m just not that kind of writer. I write at the sentence level. Some writers have the entire map pinned to the wall, and some of us pick our way through the pebbles, step by step. Garth Greenwell recently described himself as “a sentence mystic,” and I nodded emphatically. My flock! A fellow pebble stepper! He added: “I am someone who writes sentence by sentence. I discover things about my narrator in sentences. I remember one of the things that really excited me when I first started working in prose: I would have a sense, writing a sentence, that suddenly the floor gave way and I would be deep in the narrator’s past. Something in the sentence had triggered that.”
OK, your turn! Share your hidden truths!
Post-Scripts.
+Advice for disillusioned writers.
+You can start anything today, and with no one’s permission.
Shopping Break.
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
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+Chic classic polo sweater. This is part of a collab between SoldOutNYC and one of my favorite fashionable people, Emese Gormley!
+Speaking of, Emese turned me on to a foundation trick that I am obsessed with — been doing this daily for about two months: you moisturize your face and then apply a little squiggle of RMS Primer (I use the aura color) to each cheek and to your forehead. Then swipe on a little bit of foundation (I use this foundation stick in color 0) and blend the two together in place on your forehead/cheeks/all over your face (I use this brush). It gives the most incredible result!
+My current go-to gift for little 7 and 8 year old girls: a journal and this pen/marker set.
+Love the color of these On Cloudnovas.
+Sweet spring crocs for a little love!
+My favorite luxe way to unwind at the end of every day: apply this makeup melting balm to my face and wipe off with a hot towel. At the time of writing this, you can get a set of travel essentials for free with any full-price purchase (use code FROSTY). If that doesn’t work (or maybe in addition to that!), use code JEN20 for 20% off! After the balm, I cleanse with the Outset cleanser.
+Going skiing and need some new gear! I’m eyeing these ski gloves, these goggles, and these bibs.
This is such a great question!
As someone who has been in the field of early childhood education/special education for the past… 20 years (What?! I feel old), I wish society knew how much heart and work it takes to choose (and stay) in this profession. Early childhood educators understand child development, developmentally appropriate practices and curriculum, family engagement, adverse child experiences and trauma, and so much more. They are often the first to encourage parents to seek additional services like early intervention or special education, sometimes even before the pediatrician, because of the close relationship they have with the child. Some even have to handle their own operations, accounting, etc if they manage their own programs in addition to teaching the children. Sadly, it is largely undervalued and underpaid here in the US. There are child care providers who take care of and love our children all day and yet make little more than minimum wage and often have to take on second jobs. About half leave the profession after a year due to burnout. A survey in 2022 found that 1 in 3 early childhood care providers in the US were experiencing food insecurity (as in: going hungry!!!). Let that sink in for a moment…
It is great to see heightened awareness about this issue, and there are grassroots organization advocating for better legislation on child care funding to support families and care providers. But we still have a long way to go.
This is so heartbreaking – thanks for sharing and cluing us in. I relate to this first-hand as a parent whose child was referred to speech therapy by a teacher who noticed and cared enough to help us find help!! Thanks for sharing, Mia. We see you!!
xx
I loved the quote about being a sentence mystic so much that I had to look it up! Just wanted to let you know that it was Garth Greenwell, not Glenn Greenwald, who said it (which makes SO much more sense, ha!). His book Small Rain is amazing—highly recommend!
OMG! Major typo / brain fog moment — wow. Thanks for the correction!
xx
Thank you for this post! I am a pediatrician myself, and sometimes, as a physician, I do feel misunderstood!. Something that I wish people knew about my job.. It is HARD! I I work weekends, nights, holidays and weekdays, and I care about your child and only want the best for them. It can be so tough as a parent to have sick little ones. Some days it is SO MUCH to take care of my own 3 kids, 5 dogs, 3 cats, husband and 40 patients a day. I appreciate your consideration about your Pediatricians’s great care for your kids.
I cannot imagine the load you are carrying — wow! Letting you know we see you!! I am astounded by how doctors are able to carry the emotional burden of helping sick people through bad days, rough patches, diagnoses, etc…! Thank you for doing this.
xx
Well, I’ll chime in as the third doctor- as the layers of hospital admin and years of highly specialized training can definitely make what we do feel alien.
I wish people knew-
-I NEVER recommend a study or treatment based on anything other than data and evidence. I am not paid more to treat unnecessarily.
– I cry with or about a patient, probably monthly. Because the relationship is private and protected we absorb a lot of emotional trauma. My husband (bless him) says the Chamber of Secrets is full when this happens.
– Most of what people dislike about medicine has nothing to do with your doctor. In fact, in many instances your doctor gets little or no say. But they are 110% your advocate.
– Internet wellness noise can be really challenging for us. Anyone that says they alone have the answer to your wellness is selling modern day snake oil.
– My entire job is based on the fact that the commodity I offer is my knowledge. And sometimes that knowledge is to not treat- that doesn’t mean I’m not doing what you need.
This could go on and on but just a few for your consideration. I love this. I hope more professions chime in!
The Chamber of Secrets is full! Wow. I can’t imagine that emotional burden you carry with you. What an incredible service you provide and support you are in just that empathy layer alone! Thanks for sharing this!
xx
Reupping the advice from an old Cup of Jo comment: if you meet someone and they tell you their job, say “that sounds hard!” very sincerely. Everyone has something hard about their job and it really breaks the ice!
That’s such a great line! Thanks!
I am a physician, and I think you are exactly right – being a good doctor requires a lot of good listening! I actually have thought about this question before, as I feel medicine is something everyone interacts with but few people understand.
What I wish my patients knew:
I have worked hard and long to be here. I have spent so many days re-writing biochemistry pathways from memory just for the opportunity to sit here and take care of you. I studied when I didn’t feel like it, I woke up early to do endless flashcards, I stayed up awake for 28 hour shifts three days a week just to do this. It’s a huge privilege but also a huge amount of work. We aren’t recommending you medications because we make money from pharmaceutical companies (we don’t), or because we’re lazy. We’re on your team, and have worked hard to be in this place!
Thank you for sharing this!! The note on medications was so interesting! That must be really frustrating to combat…!
xx
Wow, Jen, I love that you started with an anecdote about a doctor! I am a doctor myself and loved that you noted we are not a monolith. And you hit the nail on the head that listening and synthesizing is a large part of our job, hand in hand with an evidence based algorithmic approach. I often see generalizing anti-doctor statements based on someone’s one bad experience, and it can be frustrating. I already feel seen by your post, and appreciate the prompt to allow others to share their insider intel in their careers! Thanks again for a great post.
Natalie
Hi Natalie! Thanks so much for weighing in; I’m glad this made you feel seen!! I can imagine it must be extra tricky for doctors because patients are coming to you when they are at their worst / most stressed / most uncomfortable / etc and so any small thing that goes wrong or that they perceive to be “going wrong” is amplified…yikes! Thanks for what you do!!
xx
I work in a senior role in local government with some of the most passionate, committed, amazing people who are extremely good at what they do (you know what? I’m going to go ahead and include myself in that description). Every one of them is there because they care about their city and want it to be as good as it can be. When I advertise a job I get a huge amount of applicants and we take several through a rigorous interview process – it’s hard to get a job with us. There can be a rhetoric that working in corporate is somehow better/harder/more legit than working in public service and I’m here to say that simply isn’t true.
I love this! This is so inspiring!
xx
I am a lawyer, and one thing I wish people knew about my job is how boring it is, haha! People tend to think that my day-to-day is super exciting and mostly occurs in court. I’m a litigator, so I definitely go to court, but 95% of my career is desk work (writing, reading, calls, etc.), and out of the 5% I am in court, it is usually very boring.
!! So interesting! Definitely runs against the impression we have from TV!
xx
I also write for a living, but not in my own voice- I’m a writer in the development department of a large international nonprofit, so I write in “institutional” voice. But I agree with all three of your points! I always joke that I’m going to make a banner that says GOOD WRITING AND EDITING TAKES A LONG TIME and hang it in front of my desk. I also don’t do formal outlines- instead, I do what I call “sketches.” I’ll write the subject headings out, then start dropping words/fragments/sentences beneath each one. I write as informally as possible to start (language that a small child could understand), then gradually sharpen and increase the sophistication of the language and the sentence structure as I develop the piece further.
This is absolutely fascinating to me — the way you “laminate” the language recursively!! Thanks for sharing your process!
Promoting the idea of printing this banner!!
xx