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First — what is the most difficult part of your day? For a long time, bedtime felt like the final, occasionally insurmountable, hurdle in my day, but now the children are older and their bedtime routines have shrunk in size and complexity and they are pretty docile about it. My son is bone-tired by the time seven thirty rolls around: that marching, never-off five-year-old energy needs replenishing. He’s sort of like one of those monkey wind-ups — he goes and goes, chirping and clattering through his day, and then just flips off abruptly, with no resistance or warning. The fact that bedtime now feels straight-forward for me is a reminder that parenthood is a process, a practice. It is a moving target. There is no constant but change.
Now, however, I find the mornings an unpleasant crunch punctuated by urgent expeditations: “are you done with breakfast?”; “go go go”; “run upstairs and get your socks”; “put on your coat!” I’m annoying myself just reading this litany spilt on the page. Even though I know I could alleviate some of this by waking myself and my children up just a little bit earlier, it is difficult for me to motivate myself out of bed. (How I long to be one of those mothers who wakes at 5 a.m. to enjoy a quiet cup of coffee and some journal time. Alas, this is not – and will never – be me. This is because Landon and I prioritize the evening hours as time for us to connect — watch TV together, catch up, handle STPs — “Shoop Talking Points.” And afterward, I like a little time to read in bed. I don’t see myself ceding either of those priorities to an earlier wake up any time soon…!) Besides, it seems like my son in particular needs the sleep — I routinely need to wake him up. And this is with a 7:30 p.m. bedtime!
My question for you — besides the obvious of “pack lunches the night before” (check) and “lay out the kids’ clothes the night before” (check again), what brings ease into your morning routine?
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I will say that once the children are out the door, I find my personal morning ritual nourishing. I almost always do the following:
7:45 a.m. Kiss my children and send them out the door.
7:46 a.m. Drink a full glass of ice water out of a tall cooler glass. (Not a water bottle. I can’t explain it. It has to be a tall glass of ice water.) I fill my water bottle at the same time, just so it’s ready to go for the exercise/the rest of the day. While I’m drinking my water, I text my mom the praying hands emoji, and she does the same — it’s our little prayer circle of two.
7:50 a.m. Walk onto my back covered patio to breathe in the air, listen to the birdsong, and remind myself of my own smallness. This is not a long process — usually just one or two minutes does it for me. I suppose this partly fills the blank left by my former walks with Tilly. (I miss her.)
7:52 a.m. Wear my LED red light therapy mask for 10 minutes. I usually do this while checking my phone or tidying the kitchen.
8:02 a.m. Make a green smoothie with the Vitamix (currently on sale!), easily one of the best purchases we’ve ever made for our kitchen. Worth every penny.
8:05 a.m. Read something to wake up my brain while enjoying my smoothie. I keep a few books out and easily accessible across the house for this purpose. In the kitchen, I have Margaret Renkl’s “howling love letter to the natural world” (a series of short essays that are easy to read in one bite); in the living room, I have Mary Oliver’s Rules for the Dance (a book on metrical poetry scansion — easier to digest in small sips); and in my studio, I have a lot of books, but I usually reach for this poetry anthology and read one or two poems. My son recently noticed me annotating one of these books — I always read a physical book with a pen in hand — and said, “Mama – we don’t write in books.” It was an interesting challenge to communicate why and which contexts annotation is appropriate.
8:15 a.m. Catch up with Mr. Magpie – he’s usually back from drop off by now.
8:25 a.m. Change into exercise clothes and, if planning to wash my hair after exercising, apply Mielle rosemary-mint treatment oil and Anablue hair treatment oil to my hair. Both of these promote healthy, strong hair and improve the overall softness and texture. I’m a big believer in them, especially since I use hot tools on my hair every time I shower. For fitness wear, I am currently obsessed with the leggings and matching tanks from Beyond Yoga, Vuori’s Energy tees, Beyond Yoga Featherweight longsleeves, and Varley’s FreeSoft heathered leggings. All of these are supremely soft, comfortable, and move with your body.
8:30 a.m. Exercise. As of January 1, I have been trying to move my body every day, but in a new-to-me method. I used to think of “exercise” in such limited, prescriptive terms: I had to run 3-4 miles (or complete 30-40 minutes on a stationary bike) and then do at least 10 minutes of arms or abs — better yet if I could motivate to stack a 20-30 minute Heather Robertson video on top. It was unnecessarily stringent and deterring me from working out as often as I could have, because it meant an hour or more of exercising (once you factor in warm up, cooldown) and then I’d be so sweaty, I’d have to take a shower and dry my hair. By the time I was done with exercising, showering, dressing, etc, it was usually 10 a.m., and that was only if I was closing the door on my kids and sprinting right into my exercise regimen, which always made me feel rushed and angsty and slightly resentful, and in turn meant I didn’t have time to enjoy the smoothie, read, etc! So at best, I was exercising twice s a week because it took so much time. Now, my goal is to get in about 20-30 minutes of exercise most mornings using videos from Physique57 or Heather Robertson. Twice a week, if possible, I aim for longer sessions that are more cardio-focused — a run or stationery bike session followed by abs/arms or a 40 minute full body sculpt video. This way, most mornings, I can exercise and rinse my body but not have to wash my hair, and I’m done with the whole thing in under an hour. It has made such a powerful change in my life. I feel physically better in my own body, have more energy, and of course that’s not even addressing the powerful mental/mood benefits. So far I’ve exercised 15 out of 17 days this month and it hasn’t even felt that difficult to keep up with. Like, you can do anything for 20 minutes, right?
9 a.m. Pour myself coffee — Landon always has it ready and waiting.
9:02 a.m. Rinse off in the shower, get dressed.
9:15 a.m. Do my skincare/makeup routine. I actually handle skincare as soon as I wake up, before I get up with my children. Wash my face, apply serums, and hydrate. Then after I work out, I rinse my body/face, reapply hydration, and put on my makeup.
9:30 a.m. Sit down at my desk.
Please share your morning ritual must-dos and how you ease into your day.
Post-Scripts.
+Photo above actually from our stay at Lupaia in Tuscany. I wish I woke up to that view in the morning!
+On making everything important.
Shopping Break.
+A propos of this being the year of the fox: I just stumbled upon and ordered this memoir about an unlikely friendship between a fox and a writer. I also have this and this in my TBR. We are definitely in our naturalist era, aren’t we?
+Planning to wear this to Mr. Magpie’s birthday celebration next weekend! And while we’re talking Doen: they’re running an enormous winter sale that can’t be missed. I ordered this dress, this top (love the material of their tops – ultra lightweight and airy, so easy to tuck with no bulk), and this pointelle tee ($59!!).
+This lace top would be so chic for a date night.
+Target run: this adorable quilted floral toy bin, this woven lamp, this melamine tray, this striped bolster, and these gingham towels for a boy’s bathroom! The red piping is so charming. Reminded me a little of this print from Peter Dunham and one of my favorite prints ever, Katie Ridder’s Beetlecat. (I have a Beetlecat pillow in my son’s room!)
+Hotel Lobby launched a new scent – Blue Skies – yesterday! They sent me a sample and it does smell divine and just what I want as we head into the new year.
+A really good price for a jumbo of the best setting powder ever.
+We just completed this puzzle as a family – it was really fun. I think because the kids could focus on individual figures with clear outfits/colors to hunt for, it made it slightly easier for them, but still challenging for all of us.
+This top and skirt situation are just beyond spectacular.
I may be slightly late to the party here, but chiming in anyway!
I have an eighteen month old, and even though I dearly wish I was one of those mums who woke up before my baby, alas I am not. But I’m also privileged to work from home, and to work for myself, so I don’t have the huge rush in the mornings of getting ready for work, a commute, drop off and also fitting in time for myself. I generally wake some time between 6:15 and 7:30, depending on what time my son awakes. Occasionally, if I’m on a deadline or crunched for time, I’ll set an earlier alarm and make myself a cup of English Breakfast tea (with milk and one sugar) then head straight to my computer to knock out some work. Sometimes, I do naturally wake before our son and on those mornings I really try to get up and squeeze in some movement or writing, and a shower. The days I’m out of bed before Ned wakes up always seem to run smoother. Definitely a lesson there, but not one I can seem to remember when the morning alarm blares.
Most mornings I scroll in bed for a while, until I really have to get up. Sometimes my husband will bring our son into our bed for a little morning lie-in, but our boy doesn’t love being in our bed (which is a blessing in many ways!) so it never lasts long. Then it’s up to make him breakfast, switch on a morning news program, put away the clean dishes from the night before, change Ned into day care clothes, check his bag has everything he needs for the day, and start a load of washing. In winter, we also need to top up the wood in our fireplace. I usually make myself a cup of tea in a Yeti mug to sip while we go through these morning motions. My husband then typically does drop off sometime between 8 and 8:30, it’s only a block from our home so they walk together. At this point, I will either change into active wear and head to a reformer Pilates class, or work out at home. Otherwise, it’s time to tidy away the detritus of the morning, make the bed and get straight into a shower. Once out of the shower, it’s skincare, get dressed, some basic make up to make myself feel pulled together for the day. Then I make breakfast and head into our studio to start my work day, around 9:30-10am, depending on whether it is a reformer morning. It’s summer here right now, so if it’s looking to be an extra hot day, I’ll hand water parts of the garden before I head into the studio. Then I usually spend a good while reading blogs and Substack writings to get my brain firing while I eat breakfast, then review my to do list for the day and get into whichever tasks are most urgent.
I find with small children, there’s a lot to get done in the mornings, but it’s also easy to find pockets of joy. The little cuddles with my son, that first sip of my morning cup of tea (which I look forward to every night), the excitement of seeing which writers I follow have new writing out – there’s lots to enjoy in the mornings and I need to be better about remembering that!
Love the idea of finding little pockets of joy to look forward to in the morning – especially the notion of waking up to see which writers have published. I also look forward to that. Thanks for sharing your routine – I’m so nosy and love to hear how other women get it done!
xx
I love reading about routines! Thanks for sharing. I realized that my routine is different every morning (mostly bc I’ve planned a ride on mon wed and sat, and my youngest is at school on tues and Thurs).
Monday: alarm at 5:15, then I drink water while getting out kid breakfast supplies. Bring water downstairs to change into workout clothes (I put them down there the night before so I don’t have to dress in the dark bedroom while my husband sleeps) and do a workout (warm up, 30 min ride, cool down, core, stretch). Dash back upstairs to finish making kid breakfasts and a coffee for me. I wake them at 6:50 if they’re not already awake. Then i hustle them through eating/dressing/hair/teeth/backpack checklist etc. Meanwhile I change into fresh athleisure and brush teeth. We head to school by 7:40. Back around 8:20 with 4yo. I try to get outside everyday even in the Michigan winter so we’ll usually walk and/or scooter at least around the block. Then she gets to watch tv while I shower and get ready. I eat breakfast around 10.
Tues and Thurs: alarm at 5:30. I drink water while making green tea. Then I do bible study until about 6 (doing a study of Joseph with ladies at church currently). Then I wash my face and do skincare and makeup and throw my hair into a ponytail. Then I make kid breakfasts and a coffee for me, and wake them up at 6:50. Hustle them through their routine while I also get dressed and brush teeth. Kids fill water bottles and pack snacks (sometimes I help in the interest of time ) Then out the door at 7:40 to drop both off at school. There are several parks near school along the river so I frequently walk at one of them after drop off. Or I stay at school and volunteer in the library reshelving books. Then errands or running home to do chores before I eat breakfast at 10. Then dashing back to pick up 4yo at 11:45. Phew!
Wed: alarm at 5:50, I get up and drink water, make green tea, do bible study as noted above. By 6:30 I start making kid breakfasts and coffee. Hustle through routine while getting dressed in workout clothes. Leave at 7:40 to drop off 2nd grader. Back around 8:15 with 4yo. At 8:45 I walk her down the street to my parents’ for her “Mimi day.” Then I take a quick walk and come home to do a workout (warm up, 45 min ride, cool down, core, stretch). Then I make my breakfast, eat, shower, and get a few chores in before little sister comes back.
Friday: alarm at 5:30. Water/tea/bible. Around 6 I take a quick shower, do hair/skincare/makeup. Then back to the kitchen to make kid breakfasts and my coffee. Hustle through routine while I get dressed. Leave for school at 7:40. Back around 8:15 with 4yo. Usually I cajole her into going on a walk. Or we’re out running errands. Or if we’ve got a busy Saturday I forego my shower and come home a do my “weekend” ride. Also on Friday mornings I sort ALL the laundry and start doing loads. I also sit down with my planner and write out the next week, including meals, and make the grocery list. In reality this takes a large portion of the day bc I’m frequently interrupted to read books, move laundry loads, get snacks, etc. Breakfast at 10 as usual.
I love the intricacies of these different schedules for different days of the week! You’re holding a universe together! I loved reading all the details here, why you do certain things at certain times in certain ways, etc. Thank you! A delightful (nosy) read!
xx
Oh my gosh Jen, prepare for an essay!
So I will caveat that my kids are not in school yet. But generally both of mine are up around 7/7:30. I give them both enthusiastic smoochy hugs and tell them I’m so happy to see them. My daughter needs her diaper changed. My son needs some fruit or peanut butter or cheese right away. This is the part where I tell him the plan for the morning. Then they play together while I start dishwasher/laundry. Even though it’s the same every morning I still need phone reminders or I’ll just wind up playing and forget about the chores. Some mornings they let me listen to my audiobook but mostly it’s a Kidz Bop playlist on their Yoto. If it’s the weekend I’ll put on French cartoons, but the rest of the mornings we’re going out. I’m narrating aloud what I need and assembling it in a pile by the front door including their outfits. I’ve been trying Dr Morgan Cutlip’s tips about making the mental load visible to children and getting them involved in lightening the load. I send my children on a mission to find old baby bottles or any dishes, then to find any dirty laundry. Coffee for me at 8, no earlier, even if they randomly get up at 5. I make formula for the pay and portion out bottles for the morning, water for my son, a snack for us all to share, cash. I put out some fruit and I make breakfast (usually French toast or yogurt bowls since those are the two they both eat a lot of). Then if they’re involved in their play I’ll tiptoe away, otherwise I put on a twenty minute TV show. It’s key that this not autoplay so they recognize the end. The countdown to getting out the door has begun. I put on my skincare and get myself dressed first, then the baby, then I hold her on my hip while I do very quick makeup in the hall bathroom (sunscreen, brows, tinted gloss or liptstick), coax my son to use the bathroom before I dress him. I drink one more coffee and I eat my breakfast (usually toddler leftovers plus a soft boiled egg, Boursin, hot sauce, arugula if we have it). Brush my teeth and my son’s. Then it’s time to pack the cooler bag, choose a baby carrier, put on coats and load up the double stroller. I’m going to have to put my foot down soon about using the single instead but my son will be exhausted on the way home and my daughter asleep. If we do a baby class in French they get an hour at the playground after, or we go for 2/3 hours at a time to the playground. If the baby refuses to get out of my back carrier we stop at one of the many grocery stores on the way home and put a few basics where she’d normally sit. When we get home the baby goes in the crib. I make my son a banana smoothie and something quick (peanut butter sandwich or leftovers) in the hopes he’ll take a short nap. If he does, I’ve got a break! If not he gets to cook with me for a 2 pm late lunch with his sister and dad. I’ll have him help me clean, or do a yoga routine with me. We might get out the nice markers instead of the baby safe ones. I also prep dinner if I can during this time. I usually have earplugs in by this point and we have quiet time/get him listening to the Yoto player since I find our mornings pretty loud and stimulating (baby music class sometimes has 30 kids in a small room).
As for what makes it easy? Staying off my phone, except as audio device. I’m much more relaxed and less snappish if I’m not splitting my attention. Putting in earplugs, turning down lights, and having a snack when I’m overwhelmed. Moving the kids to a different room if they’re fighting (we all go to the porch or their room and the change of venue works wonders). Emptying the stroller completely every evening so that I don’t have to rely on what’s left and can find my stuff by muscle memory. Teaching our son to look after his own gear so he knows he needs to bring his own water bottle, hat, coat, and playground toys to the door. We’re trying to add sunglasses to that list too!
I’ve also stopped doing my daughter’s hair. She pulls out the ponytail holder immediately. If I give her cute little buns she winds up looking like Count Olaf or the guy from Flock of Seagulls. Bed head is preferable!
Having a few ready to eat options for time crunch mornings. Buckwheat blondies for me, frozen yogurt tubes for the kids, air fryer hash brown patties or croissants after we’ve left the house if the cupboards are bare. Snacks ready to grab too, I have a bunch of baby lentil puffs that my son will happily eat too (they’re sort of like Cheetos) or small apples.
Keeping a small makeup kit and spare toothbrush in the hall bath since my husband usually isn’t up when we leave (his solution to get flow state work time with small children is to work into the wee hours). Having a folder of outfits I like wearing in my photos so I have a set of options. It’s sort of a small town here and I run into at least a dozen people I know on every outing so I’m trying hard not to default to sweatpants in the name of expediency.
It helps that we’re in a city and if I forget snacks or water or diapers they’re within easy reach, and kids share toys at the park, so the only true essentials are the baby’s milk and my son’s EpiPen. I’ve gone out without my phone before and it’s been fine, or if I forget my keys my husband’s home and my SIL lives a few floors down, so I’ve given myself permission to make the actual move out the door very abbreviated. That’s the point where I would usually lose my cool and I’d rather forget something than get in the loop where I’m darkly muttering “it’s like herding cats!” under my breath.
We also all genuinely like the wiggles so having that as our show in the morning instead of a show that grates on someone’s nerves puts us all in a good mood.
As usual, I have too many thoughts!
Ahh Kelly, I was for sure darkly muttering under my breath this morning as I put folded laundry away. That made me chuckle! I’m on the verge of being tempted to throw away half our possessions so I’m sure the mutter was related. I also agree that being on my phone makes me snap more…another reason to keep it on the charger!
I think it’s normal to be a bit overstimulated by clutter after the holidays. I’m a big Dana K White fan and we are definitely over my personal clutter threshold. I’ve just packed up a small bag of things for storage, a much larger box to donate, and I’m sending the magnatiles over to my mother in law’s. We also needed new systems! Now we have a bin of balls, one of play food, one of stuffed animals, one of dress up. I’ve made a bundle of least favorite cars/balls and we’ve been taking those to the playground. I stick to the container concept for our art supplies so when we were gifted a gorgeous new dot marker set, I packed up the paint pens we never use for my friend’s little boy who will actually use them.
I’ve learned something interesting about the pace of my mornings, and can relate it in some way to the school time rush that you write about. I had a month of pin-drop silent mornings spent alone in the dark after losing my fur baby, and found the lack of ‘rush’ – getting him his meds, walking him, feeding him, making sure he was comfortable…PLUS my own personal workday prep – disturbing. The change in routine and emptiness that came in place of hoop-jumping and controlled chaos was so unbearable that on New Year’s Day, I brought home a puppy. Mornings are now a psychotic endeavor balancing his needs (read: his tiny bladder’s needs) and mine, and I’m amazed at how it all seems to still work in the confines of the same general schedule. I make cold brew coffee, slice fruit, and pack lunch bits and bobs on the weekends to make the weekday mornings less scattered, have my exercise gear within arm’s reach so there’s no excuse or fuss, and I’ve practiced. I’ve repeated the motions so much that even the spontaneity (read: stress, but cute stress) that Skylar brings doesn’t shake the overall picture too much. In short (my apologies for rambling), practice makes the mornings easier. And so does a little less concern for the occasional unmade bed or dish left on the drainboard to dry while I’m at work. That’s worth it for the vibrancy that comes with the rush and hustle of mornings spent with our young, energetic, oft-mischievous loved ones!
We had a home organizer come do our mud room and she suggested moving our three elementary aged kids’ everyday shoes and socks downstairs. We had the container store come install a built in a slim unit with pretty mesh drawers on bottom and shelving above and it has made our mornings and life insanely better. It also houses hats, gloves, hair stuff, etc. Living where we live!
Jen! Wasn’t sure if you were already aware of this brand, but have you tried Bandit’s stuff for running?
I love reading this little slice of your day! I do an espresso as soon as I get up in my grandmothers cup I use and read The Financial Times paper on my chair in the living room. My husband handles all the wake up and breakfast routines for the kids – it’s a dream. Then I might fold laundry I refuse to do at night and get ready for the day with skincare and getting dressed! I want to add reading in my morning
I love the ritual of drinking espresso out of your grandmother’s cup each morning – so special and nourishing! Thanks for sharing this sliver of your routine! xx
Love reading about other people’s routines, because I value my own so much. Apropos of the fox, have you read The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse? It’s so lovely for adults and for children.
Yes! Landon and Emory have a special connection to that book in particular – it’s so gorgeous!
xx
Everyone mocks me out for this, but I always lay out the exact things I use for breakfast and coffee the night before. It makes my morning so much more peaceful and smooth if I have the plate, pan for my egg, etc. laid out and mug under my coffee maker with a pod in it as opposed to banging around and having to “prep” everything in the morning. I’m not sure why this helps me mentally so much, since it would realistically only take me a few minutes to get these items out of their proper places in the morning, but it does.
I totally understand this – it gives you more time/control to do it the night before in a leisurely way that almost feels like you’re taking care of your future self. This is a good idea – Mr. Magpie was in the groove of laying out the kids bowls, spoons, cups, cereal canisters, etc the night before and we sort of fell out of it over the holidays. It really does help when you’re fretting over minutes in the morning! Thanks for this nudge.
xx
Face washing and doing skincare before exercise is WILD to me! I’m such a heavy sweater with really any variety of exercise- be it brisk walking, strength training, or running – so I’d just instantly sweat it all off (and then need to wash my face again in the shower anyway) But I guess if you’re not a sweater then it’s not as much of an issue. I wish I could say I start my morning in an intellectually stimulating way, but really I just spend 15 mins in bed drinking the glass of water I left on the nightstand while looking at my phone. Then I get out of bed and onto the floor to do my 15-20 mins of foam rolling and mobilizing, which is my daily non-negotiable. Then it’s out the door for whatever the day’s exercise of choice is.
Ha – maybe I’m not sweating enough?! I do sometimes wonder about whether to reapply the serums post-shower / post-exercise but I sort of (possibly stupidly?) believe the products have absorbed and already been working their magic for awhile. I’m usually applying at 7 and sweating around 8:15-8:30? Maybe this is wasteful of me; hadn’t thought of it! BUT I absolutely would not be able to start my day without washing my face. I mean, it’s like the first thing I CRAVE doing. I know my face hasn’t gotten dirty overnight (lol) but it really wakes me up and makes me feel like a human? I don’t know why!
xx
This jumped out at me too! I usually just wash and apply moisturizer before working out and then apply all the serums/products post shower so that they can absorb and work all day? Curious how others feel! Do they work just as effectively if just on for an hour?
The more I read these comments the more I think you’re right. Maybe I should just wash and moisturize and then apply all serums and tinctures and tonics afterward. Thanks for the food for thought! Going to test this!
xx
Loved this post! Would you mind sharing your green juice recipe? Love buying it but want to get in the habit of making it myself. Thanks!
Hi! We make a green smoothie — we put the following items into the mixer in this exact order (helps with blending/crushing): 3 cups torn kale, 1 cup ice, 1/2 avocado, 1 banana, 3/4 cup orange juice, 1/4 cup water. Sooo delicious. I crave it!
I really love the way you’ve framed all of this, Jen. It feels spacious and generous and intentional rather than restrictive and authoritarian. Your focus on what feels right rather than optimisation is especially encouraging for me.
To be honest, courtesy of starting the Artist’s Way last August, I’m really trying to establish these pillars for myself. The trouble is, I’m not only not a morning person, I’m a total night owl, and I work across timezones so sleep schedules can get so whacky so quickly. I find nighttime to be kind of magical and peaceful with both my husband and I pottering back and forth in the quiet of chipping away on varied things so celebrating and being properly present in the morning is challenging!
Even so, I want to have more intentionality in my day and I know that starts with making the first 1-2 hours of waking up practice-centric. Accordingly, I’m trying to wake up, have coffee/earl grey tea with milk, write morning pages, 5-10 minutes meditation, DuoLingo Spanish, read non-fiction for 15 minutes, and then briefly journal (around half an A5 page). Crucially, the success of this stems from not being on my phone in bed when I wake up, changing into workout gear immediately, and proceeding directly to the coffee/tea as well as maybe some toast or kefir.
Last year I read this thing that said, “Create before you consume”. This, coupled with the media/reading fast section of the Artist’s Way made me see how sensitive my brain is to certain inputs. The more dopamine-type inputs in a day, particularly if I wake up with them, the more mentally-ragged, distractible, and even apathetic I feel over the course of waking hours. I definitely want to up this conscious avoidance of these inputs and prioritise intentionality in 2025 xx
This is so thought-provoking, Aoife – thanks for sharing. Re: create before consume. Fascinating! I’m inspired. I’d like to get into the habit of not checking my phone first thing in the morning. Maybe I’ll start with a “test” this weekend – phone stays in my studio overnight. And then it would be so nice to read my Kindle or just lay in bed and rest for a few extra minutes.
Thanks for all of this food for thought!
xx
Edit: I realized after writing that — even reading is technically consuming, right? Or maybe not. I was just journaling about how reading can also be an act of creation in some situations. So maybe it still qualifies. And part of my creative process is often reading the work of others. It just gets me into a generative and playful headspace. Maybe I will interpret “consume” more in terms of “consuming email / social media / etc.” Just mulling this over. Great food for thought! xx
So glad to hear your thoughts on this, Jen. Tbh, with guidance from a psychologist, I chose to shut down all social media — bar moderate YouTube watching from select creators — about 6 years ago when I was in a period of severe depression/anxiety. I miss Instagram every single day but for my holistic wellbeing, this kind of input contributes to my mental/emotional/psychological health being compromised. Accordingly, I’ve worked to pay very close attention to what does feel good and what doesn’t. This has been heightened in the last year as I’ve tried to scrutinise how dopamine inputs affect my wellbeing. I’m trying to research and write about the nature of extrinsic dopamine impact and intrinsic dopamine impact to determine what affects me negatively and what affects me positively.
Accordingly, even though I think the consuming model covers all reading (it does in that week of the Artist’s Way), I know that reading fiction in bed at the end of the day is a non-negotiable pillar. I don’t feel like myself without it and it’s equal parts a creative and spiritual act for me. So much so that last summer, I still brought my iPad in a 20-pound pack on a multi-day, village-to-village hiking trek last summer because I couldn’t be without that exhausted five-minute read at the end of each day…
Conversely, I adore reading digital media yet I know that some kinds, namely social media and anything that involves aimless scrolling or “checking” isn’t great for my brain. When I did the weeklong reading fast last year, I missed reading here so much! But, I didn’t miss every one of my daily reads so it was important to receive and process that data. I absolutely agree about the generative and playful headspace — plus the joy and satisfaction and thrall of engaging with language, how it’s being wielded, the ideas, the stories, all of it!
At the end of the day, I think it’s a case of testing, parsing, and changing though it can be hard to be honest with myself about what’s not so great for me even when I love it a lot. One upside of my 30s is that I finally like myself enough and want to be friends with myself enough to learn these things about myself, then extend into more intentional living. I no longer see these things as problems to fix and instead it’s about the journey of being alive while experimenting with how to I want to live.
This is so helpful – thanks for sharing your process, approach, etc. I love your concluding note that “it’s a case of testing, parsing, and changing.” I think embracing fluidity vs hard lines is key, at least for me.
xx
I saw this screenshot on Jen’s Instagram and thought “That sounds like Aoife!” You have such a distinct and lovely writing voice.
Oh gosh, thank you so much, Kelly. I’m mired in paralysing creative self-doubt coupled with a professional crossroads right now so this really means a lot to me. Thank you for such kind, reassuring and encouraging words. I wish we were real-life friends! xx
Just saying I’ve loved reading this little exchange 🙂