The following content may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
First — what is the most difficult part of your day? For a long time, bedtime felt like the final, occasionally insurmountable, hurdle in my day, but now the children are older and their bedtime routines have shrunk in size and complexity and they are pretty docile about it. My son is bone-tired by the time seven thirty rolls around: that marching, never-off five-year-old energy needs replenishing. He’s sort of like one of those monkey wind-ups — he goes and goes, chirping and clattering through his day, and then just flips off abruptly, with no resistance or warning. The fact that bedtime now feels straight-forward for me is a reminder that parenthood is a process, a practice. It is a moving target. There is no constant but change.
Now, however, I find the mornings an unpleasant crunch punctuated by urgent expeditations: “are you done with breakfast?”; “go go go”; “run upstairs and get your socks”; “put on your coat!” I’m annoying myself just reading this litany spilt on the page. Even though I know I could alleviate some of this by waking myself and my children up just a little bit earlier, it is difficult for me to motivate myself out of bed. (How I long to be one of those mothers who wakes at 5 a.m. to enjoy a quiet cup of coffee and some journal time. Alas, this is not – and will never – be me. This is because Landon and I prioritize the evening hours as time for us to connect — watch TV together, catch up, handle STPs — “Shoop Talking Points.” And afterward, I like a little time to read in bed. I don’t see myself ceding either of those priorities to an earlier wake up any time soon…!) Besides, it seems like my son in particular needs the sleep — I routinely need to wake him up. And this is with a 7:30 p.m. bedtime!
My question for you — besides the obvious of “pack lunches the night before” (check) and “lay out the kids’ clothes the night before” (check again), what brings ease into your morning routine?
****
I will say that once the children are out the door, I find my personal morning ritual nourishing. I almost always do the following:
7:45 a.m. Kiss my children and send them out the door.
7:46 a.m. Drink a full glass of ice water out of a tall cooler glass. (Not a water bottle. I can’t explain it. It has to be a tall glass of ice water.) I fill my water bottle at the same time, just so it’s ready to go for the exercise/the rest of the day. While I’m drinking my water, I text my mom the praying hands emoji, and she does the same — it’s our little prayer circle of two.
7:50 a.m. Walk onto my back covered patio to breathe in the air, listen to the birdsong, and remind myself of my own smallness. This is not a long process — usually just one or two minutes does it for me. I suppose this partly fills the blank left by my former walks with Tilly. (I miss her.)
7:52 a.m. Wear my LED red light therapy mask for 10 minutes. I usually do this while checking my phone or tidying the kitchen.
8:02 a.m. Make a green smoothie with the Vitamix (currently on sale!), easily one of the best purchases we’ve ever made for our kitchen. Worth every penny.
8:05 a.m. Read something to wake up my brain while enjoying my smoothie. I keep a few books out and easily accessible across the house for this purpose. In the kitchen, I have Margaret Renkl’s “howling love letter to the natural world” (a series of short essays that are easy to read in one bite); in the living room, I have Mary Oliver’s Rules for the Dance (a book on metrical poetry scansion — easier to digest in small sips); and in my studio, I have a lot of books, but I usually reach for this poetry anthology and read one or two poems. My son recently noticed me annotating one of these books — I always read a physical book with a pen in hand — and said, “Mama – we don’t write in books.” It was an interesting challenge to communicate why and which contexts annotation is appropriate.
8:15 a.m. Catch up with Mr. Magpie – he’s usually back from drop off by now.
8:25 a.m. Change into exercise clothes and, if planning to wash my hair after exercising, apply Mielle rosemary-mint treatment oil and Anablue hair treatment oil to my hair. Both of these promote healthy, strong hair and improve the overall softness and texture. I’m a big believer in them, especially since I use hot tools on my hair every time I shower. For fitness wear, I am currently obsessed with the leggings and matching tanks from Beyond Yoga, Vuori’s Energy tees, Beyond Yoga Featherweight longsleeves, and Varley’s FreeSoft heathered leggings. All of these are supremely soft, comfortable, and move with your body.
8:30 a.m. Exercise. As of January 1, I have been trying to move my body every day, but in a new-to-me method. I used to think of “exercise” in such limited, prescriptive terms: I had to run 3-4 miles (or complete 30-40 minutes on a stationary bike) and then do at least 10 minutes of arms or abs — better yet if I could motivate to stack a 20-30 minute Heather Robertson video on top. It was unnecessarily stringent and deterring me from working out as often as I could have, because it meant an hour or more of exercising (once you factor in warm up, cooldown) and then I’d be so sweaty, I’d have to take a shower and dry my hair. By the time I was done with exercising, showering, dressing, etc, it was usually 10 a.m., and that was only if I was closing the door on my kids and sprinting right into my exercise regimen, which always made me feel rushed and angsty and slightly resentful, and in turn meant I didn’t have time to enjoy the smoothie, read, etc! So at best, I was exercising twice s a week because it took so much time. Now, my goal is to get in about 20-30 minutes of exercise most mornings using videos from Physique57 or Heather Robertson. Twice a week, if possible, I aim for longer sessions that are more cardio-focused — a run or stationery bike session followed by abs/arms or a 40 minute full body sculpt video. This way, most mornings, I can exercise and rinse my body but not have to wash my hair, and I’m done with the whole thing in under an hour. It has made such a powerful change in my life. I feel physically better in my own body, have more energy, and of course that’s not even addressing the powerful mental/mood benefits. So far I’ve exercised 15 out of 17 days this month and it hasn’t even felt that difficult to keep up with. Like, you can do anything for 20 minutes, right?
9 a.m. Pour myself coffee — Landon always has it ready and waiting.
9:02 a.m. Rinse off in the shower, get dressed.
9:15 a.m. Do my skincare/makeup routine. I actually handle skincare as soon as I wake up, before I get up with my children. Wash my face, apply serums, and hydrate. Then after I work out, I rinse my body/face, reapply hydration, and put on my makeup.
9:30 a.m. Sit down at my desk.
Please share your morning ritual must-dos and how you ease into your day.
Post-Scripts.
+Photo above actually from our stay at Lupaia in Tuscany. I wish I woke up to that view in the morning!
+On making everything important.
Shopping Break.
+A propos of this being the year of the fox: I just stumbled upon and ordered this memoir about an unlikely friendship between a fox and a writer. I also have this and this in my TBR. We are definitely in our naturalist era, aren’t we?
+Planning to wear this to Mr. Magpie’s birthday celebration next weekend! And while we’re talking Doen: they’re running an enormous winter sale that can’t be missed. I ordered this dress, this top (love the material of their tops – ultra lightweight and airy, so easy to tuck with no bulk), and this pointelle tee ($59!!).
+This lace top would be so chic for a date night.
+Target run: this adorable quilted floral toy bin, this woven lamp, this melamine tray, this striped bolster, and these gingham towels for a boy’s bathroom! The red piping is so charming. Reminded me a little of this print from Peter Dunham and one of my favorite prints ever, Katie Ridder’s Beetlecat. (I have a Beetlecat pillow in my son’s room!)
+Hotel Lobby launched a new scent – Blue Skies – yesterday! They sent me a sample and it does smell divine and just what I want as we head into the new year.
+A really good price for a jumbo of the best setting powder ever.
+We just completed this puzzle as a family – it was really fun. I think because the kids could focus on individual figures with clear outfits/colors to hunt for, it made it slightly easier for them, but still challenging for all of us.
+This top and skirt situation are just beyond spectacular.
Love reading about other people’s routines, because I value my own so much. Apropos of the fox, have you read The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse? It’s so lovely for adults and for children.
Everyone mocks me out for this, but I always lay out the exact things I use for breakfast and coffee the night before. It makes my morning so much more peaceful and smooth if I have the plate, pan for my egg, etc. laid out and mug under my coffee maker with a pod in it as opposed to banging around and having to “prep” everything in the morning. I’m not sure why this helps me mentally so much, since it would realistically only take me a few minutes to get these items out of their proper places in the morning, but it does.
I totally understand this – it gives you more time/control to do it the night before in a leisurely way that almost feels like you’re taking care of your future self. This is a good idea – Mr. Magpie was in the groove of laying out the kids bowls, spoons, cups, cereal canisters, etc the night before and we sort of fell out of it over the holidays. It really does help when you’re fretting over minutes in the morning! Thanks for this nudge.
xx
Face washing and doing skincare before exercise is WILD to me! I’m such a heavy sweater with really any variety of exercise- be it brisk walking, strength training, or running – so I’d just instantly sweat it all off (and then need to wash my face again in the shower anyway) But I guess if you’re not a sweater then it’s not as much of an issue. I wish I could say I start my morning in an intellectually stimulating way, but really I just spend 15 mins in bed drinking the glass of water I left on the nightstand while looking at my phone. Then I get out of bed and onto the floor to do my 15-20 mins of foam rolling and mobilizing, which is my daily non-negotiable. Then it’s out the door for whatever the day’s exercise of choice is.
Ha – maybe I’m not sweating enough?! I do sometimes wonder about whether to reapply the serums post-shower / post-exercise but I sort of (possibly stupidly?) believe the products have absorbed and already been working their magic for awhile. I’m usually applying at 7 and sweating around 8:15-8:30? Maybe this is wasteful of me; hadn’t thought of it! BUT I absolutely would not be able to start my day without washing my face. I mean, it’s like the first thing I CRAVE doing. I know my face hasn’t gotten dirty overnight (lol) but it really wakes me up and makes me feel like a human? I don’t know why!
xx
This jumped out at me too! I usually just wash and apply moisturizer before working out and then apply all the serums/products post shower so that they can absorb and work all day? Curious how others feel! Do they work just as effectively if just on for an hour?
The more I read these comments the more I think you’re right. Maybe I should just wash and moisturize and then apply all serums and tinctures and tonics afterward. Thanks for the food for thought! Going to test this!
xx
Loved this post! Would you mind sharing your green juice recipe? Love buying it but want to get in the habit of making it myself. Thanks!
Hi! We make a green smoothie — we put the following items into the mixer in this exact order (helps with blending/crushing): 3 cups torn kale, 1 cup ice, 1/2 avocado, 1 banana, 3/4 cup orange juice, 1/4 cup water. Sooo delicious. I crave it!
I really love the way you’ve framed all of this, Jen. It feels spacious and generous and intentional rather than restrictive and authoritarian. Your focus on what feels right rather than optimisation is especially encouraging for me.
To be honest, courtesy of starting the Artist’s Way last August, I’m really trying to establish these pillars for myself. The trouble is, I’m not only not a morning person, I’m a total night owl, and I work across timezones so sleep schedules can get so whacky so quickly. I find nighttime to be kind of magical and peaceful with both my husband and I pottering back and forth in the quiet of chipping away on varied things so celebrating and being properly present in the morning is challenging!
Even so, I want to have more intentionality in my day and I know that starts with making the first 1-2 hours of waking up practice-centric. Accordingly, I’m trying to wake up, have coffee/earl grey tea with milk, write morning pages, 5-10 minutes meditation, DuoLingo Spanish, read non-fiction for 15 minutes, and then briefly journal (around half an A5 page). Crucially, the success of this stems from not being on my phone in bed when I wake up, changing into workout gear immediately, and proceeding directly to the coffee/tea as well as maybe some toast or kefir.
Last year I read this thing that said, “Create before you consume”. This, coupled with the media/reading fast section of the Artist’s Way made me see how sensitive my brain is to certain inputs. The more dopamine-type inputs in a day, particularly if I wake up with them, the more mentally-ragged, distractible, and even apathetic I feel over the course of waking hours. I definitely want to up this conscious avoidance of these inputs and prioritise intentionality in 2025 xx
This is so thought-provoking, Aoife – thanks for sharing. Re: create before consume. Fascinating! I’m inspired. I’d like to get into the habit of not checking my phone first thing in the morning. Maybe I’ll start with a “test” this weekend – phone stays in my studio overnight. And then it would be so nice to read my Kindle or just lay in bed and rest for a few extra minutes.
Thanks for all of this food for thought!
xx
Edit: I realized after writing that — even reading is technically consuming, right? Or maybe not. I was just journaling about how reading can also be an act of creation in some situations. So maybe it still qualifies. And part of my creative process is often reading the work of others. It just gets me into a generative and playful headspace. Maybe I will interpret “consume” more in terms of “consuming email / social media / etc.” Just mulling this over. Great food for thought! xx
So glad to hear your thoughts on this, Jen. Tbh, with guidance from a psychologist, I chose to shut down all social media — bar moderate YouTube watching from select creators — about 6 years ago when I was in a period of severe depression/anxiety. I miss Instagram every single day but for my holistic wellbeing, this kind of input contributes to my mental/emotional/psychological health being compromised. Accordingly, I’ve worked to pay very close attention to what does feel good and what doesn’t. This has been heightened in the last year as I’ve tried to scrutinise how dopamine inputs affect my wellbeing. I’m trying to research and write about the nature of extrinsic dopamine impact and intrinsic dopamine impact to determine what affects me negatively and what affects me positively.
Accordingly, even though I think the consuming model covers all reading (it does in that week of the Artist’s Way), I know that reading fiction in bed at the end of the day is a non-negotiable pillar. I don’t feel like myself without it and it’s equal parts a creative and spiritual act for me. So much so that last summer, I still brought my iPad in a 20-pound pack on a multi-day, village-to-village hiking trek last summer because I couldn’t be without that exhausted five-minute read at the end of each day…
Conversely, I adore reading digital media yet I know that some kinds, namely social media and anything that involves aimless scrolling or “checking” isn’t great for my brain. When I did the weeklong reading fast last year, I missed reading here so much! But, I didn’t miss every one of my daily reads so it was important to receive and process that data. I absolutely agree about the generative and playful headspace — plus the joy and satisfaction and thrall of engaging with language, how it’s being wielded, the ideas, the stories, all of it!
At the end of the day, I think it’s a case of testing, parsing, and changing though it can be hard to be honest with myself about what’s not so great for me even when I love it a lot. One upside of my 30s is that I finally like myself enough and want to be friends with myself enough to learn these things about myself, then extend into more intentional living. I no longer see these things as problems to fix and instead it’s about the journey of being alive while experimenting with how to I want to live.