Weekend Vibes: Becoming an Expert in Yourself.

My Latest Snag: My Shopbop Order.

I picked up a few things from Shopbop this week, including this pareo (too pretty to resist), this sunhat (had heard SUCH good things about this brand and this particular style — it is packable and therefore infinitely more practical for me, even if just schlepping to the local pool), and this fun asymmetrical dress.

This Week’s Bestsellers.

Lots of pretty dresses and woven footwear this week, but I’m especially tickled by how many of you snapped up these inexpensive seamless bralettes I live in. Slowly I’ve come to the view that life is too short for underwire. Ha. They are a dream — just remove the padding and you will be in heaven. I also find the racerback, low-v style works with lots of necklines and requires no adjustment.

01. ASHA CAFTAN // 02. GIRLS’ FLORAL SWIMSUIT // 03. WOVEN BALLET FLATS // 04. ULLA JOHNSON NANETTE DRESS // 05. KITCHENAID HAND MIXER* // 06. SMOCKED FLORAL DRESS // 07. ZARA PRINTED MIDI DRESS // 08. WOVEN SLIDES // 09. ZARA FLORAL PRINT MINI // 10. NIXON DIGITAL WATCH // 11. CRUSHED MINT CANDLE // 12. MOLTON BROWN SOAP // 13. SPANX PERFECT FIT PANTS // 14. SEAMLESS BRALETTES // 15. BELTED SHIRTDRESS

*This hand mixer is truly one of my favorite kitchen tools. I find myself much more inclined to whip up cream / homemade frosting when I don’t need to lug the stand mixer out from the cabinet.

Weekend Musings: On Becoming an Expert in Yourself.

I enjoyed this essay (free, but you must subscribe to read) by Hannah McKinley of In Kind magazine, and specifically the embedded interview with Amanda Baudier, an executive coach and mindfulness expert. There are lots of things to digest in it but these words leapt off the page:

“You have to become incredibly self-aware. You have to become an expert in yourself. You have to know what your triggers are. You have to pay really, really close attention to how things affect you. Some people absolutely cannot stay up late. Some people absolutely cannot skip three days of exercise. We all have our things, and if we’re going to become experts in anything, we’d be wise to become experts in ourselves—really know what sets you off. What are the things that you lay awake thinking about at night? Getting clear on the things that are pulling you away from [something] else that you could be doing.”

I loved the notion of “becoming an expert in yourself.” Of taking an interest in not only what triggers you, and why, but also — what sparks joy, what fills your cup. I have written elsewhere that female joy is often trivialized and I think that part of my own maturation has been leaning into the things that really interest me without any preamble or disclaimer. Like, yes, I love a good thriller, and I enjoy rainbow sprinkles on my ice cream, and talking about dad sandals, and tumbling down TikTok beauty wormholes. I don’t need to shrink any of those things. One of my favorite Instagram follows, Caro Chambers, often shares the books she reads and includes a “smut factor” rating. She is incredibly intelligent, and self-aware, and a wonderful mother, and though she has on occasion defended her interests in romantic-oriented beach reads, she generally just puts those interests out there shruggingly, without apology. She recently mentioned: “I’m just in a busy, so many kids, hectic phase of life that I am looking for really light escapism right now.” And I thought, “We need more Caros modeling this kind of earnestness.” Here is a successful food blogger and cookbook author who writes exquisitely and honestly about motherhood, and she is also showing us how to listen to ourselves and our own needs and not diminish those requests.

Anyhow, I was thinking — how does one become an expert in oneself? Like, if you wanted to take that provocation seriously and wrap some ops around it, make a studied attempt. Writing is my obvious pathway (a friend recently said: “Thank God for therapists,” and when I shared that I did not have one, she paused and said: “Well, maybe you don’t need one because you therapize through your writing,” and her insight there caught me off-guard: this blog is many things, but primarily, I am here for self-knowledge), but I recognize not everyone is inclined to the pen. Perhaps it is about daily check-ins:

What is the most important thing today?

What is causing me friction today?

When during today did I feel my best? My worst?

What do I want more of today?

What do I want less of today?

Etc.

What do you think, friends? What helps you get to know yourself better?

Shopping Break.

+This dress is SO fun. Maybe a good option for my birthday? It looks like Johanna Ortiz, but under $250!

+Another option: this under-$150 steal from &OtherStories, which looks like Zimmermann, no?!

+Fun new pattern for my classic MZ Wallace tote. I still use this bag all the time with the children — great for travel. Full review here. I highly recommend as a diaper bag or travel bag with children — it holds SO much.

+A great organizer for children’s art supplies.

+Such a gorgeous quilt.

+Adorable little scarf-handled straw bag — $115.

+Love these wicker frames.

+WOW – this little eyelet number is $50 and reminds me SO much of Alemais.

+Love Les Gamins for straight-forward basics for children. We have lots of these sweatshirts — best colors and cute, boxy fit — but eyeing some of the terry cloth variations as well as these track shorts for my son this summer.

+One of the bestsellers this week was a striped shirtdress — very similar style from the same brand with short sleeves for summer!

+These raffia heeled sandals are somehow $60!

+LOVE this cover-up!

+Currently reading. Fun!

+Love these wave earrings — $35!

+20% off sitewide at The Inside with code FLASHSALE23. I love these upholstered cocktail tables — especially handy when you have toddlers inclined to hurl themselves at any sharp edge in your home. Upgrade pick: Serena and Lily’s tufted ones.

+Really pretty and simple leather sandals for under $110.

+Really fun, dramatic table lamp.