Yesterday, my daughter had a major meltdown before school. She switched schools this fall, and the transition had been going surprisingly smoothly — she’d been trotting off to third grade enthusiastically, jumping into the car at the end of the day with a big smile on her face, telling us her day had been “GREAT!” — so I can’t say I was caught unaware by her Monday morning tempest. In fact, Landon and I have been making eyes at one another for the past two weeks straight, asking “when will the other shoe drop?” and occasionally smiling sheepishly, though with healthy circumspection, at our apparent good luck. We know our girl. Transitions are tough for her, and she is also a rule-follower at school who then lets out all her steam when with us. So why did I feel like a wilted flower when she rampaged against going to school yesterday? (“I’m not going!” Door slam. Meanwhile, the clock ticks closer to, and then past, our normal departure time.) Why did I find myself throttled back to her toddler tantrum days, during which I’d occasionally feel so powerless that I’d think, “I just don’t think I can get her to school today. It’s just not going to happen.” I was frustrated — a little bit with her, if I’m honest, because we have worked so hard over the years to help her cultivate more calm and resilience in moments like this, and a lot with myself, as I felt entirely defeated and, I am embarrassed to admit, worn out by parenting in a way I haven’t felt in awhile. I had a difficult time ponying up the energy to help her through her outburst. (Can’t you just get in the car, please?!?) It is so hard to tow the tough lines in parenthood. I want to be the soft landing, the warm hug, but I find myself instead shapeshifting into the resented boundary standing between my children and another brownie, ten more minutes of screen time, a later bedtime, a day spent at home versus at school. Writing this out, I know what is being asked of me, and I know I must (and will) rally the stamina to continue. The head of my daughter’s school often says: “Remember who is the parent and who is the child.” Yes, I can do this; I must. But my God, does anyone else sometimes feel like just melting into the background for a minute, disappearing into the woodwork, where nothing is asked of her and no hard conversations need be had? Sure, stay home. Yeah, grab another snack. Mhm, you can watch TV. Playdate? Yep. Skip bath time? No problem.

Actual footage of me, attempting to navigate back to school

Deep breath.

I am sitting here reminding myself that this feeling of strain will pass. We are in that tough (and known) “back to school” zone where moods and energies are shifting wildly and the children are coming home exhausted. (We are tired, too! A lot of new schedules and events!) There is so much newness to navigate at school, I know I must do my best to tamp things down at home. I can’t say I’ve done an excellent job at that this year, despite going into this period anticipating some turbulence. Going away two nights last week and launching a new product line in early September was probably not ideal for my children. But I must also give myself grace; I know I am doing my absolute best to balance many demands at once. And this, too, shall pass. We will get into that October groove. We will become our full fall selves — sturdy, clipped-in.

In the meantime, in case any of you are oaring through similarly choppy water, a few things that have clarified my thoughts and comforted me this week:

+My mom sends a weekly prayer that we pray (separately, asynchronously) each morning. This week’s felt baldly directed at my Monday morning droop: “Do not lose heart, even if you should discover that you lack qualities necessary for the work to which you are called. He who called you will not desert you, but the moment you are in need, will stretch out His hand.” To say I felt I “lacked the qualities necessary for the work” yesterday morning would be understatement. I felt lifted reading these words yesterday and knowing my mother was praying over them, too.

+You are where you need to be. My forever favorite mantra as a mom when I feel stretched in too many directions. It is so clarifying for me to slow down and realize I’m doing exactly what I’m meant to do. I am supposed to be here, coaxing my daughter out the door. I am intended to be helping her through this tough moment. I am her mother on purpose. I am right where I’m meant to be. (Let it be known: this is not always the same thing as “right where I want to be”…!)

+”Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.” – George Bernard Shaw. How can I wipe the fog and splatter from the window? How can I let the light in? Am I able to respond to these moments with brightness?

+”Every insight, every coincidence, every whisper of beauty is guiding you to remember: you are here for something holy.” I came across this quote on Instagram this week from Molesey Crawford, and it dovetailed with my refrain that love is always the point. Everything serves that center. Everything leads to something good within this framework. This line of thinking helps me reimagine myself as an instrument — not an ego living out her own desire, but a channel for something better. I’m not saying I succeed in this, but it’s a necessary reframe for me.

+Strive to be the lowest heart rate in the room. Whenever I read these words (which I keep on a post-it pinned to my desk), I remember to physically slow down. I relax my shoulders, release my tongue from the roof of my mouth, breathe. It helps!

Any other words of encouragement for those of us “in the straits” this week?

Post-Scripts.

+More thoughts in re: you’re where you need to be.

+A reminder that this — even the sticky, swampy bits — is the main event.

+How do you help your kids reset? (Man, I needed to bring this up this week. But a really tactical question: how do you help your kids reset when you’re running out a clock?! ACK!)

Shopping Break.

+The perfect sticky notes for these reminders, if I do say so myself. This weekly planner is also helpful in these times; I’ve been using it to highlight specific “mom / home goals” for each day of the week. I keep another notepad with all the ticky-tacky to-dos for the day, but to have one place to list out the objectives for each day of the week — just 1 or 2 per calendar day — has been so clarifying for me. I’ll write things like “make Hill’s playdate really special,” or “bring a BIG energy to Emory’s first soccer practice.”

+OK this fair isle cardigan…!!!! In my cart! (Alex Mill also has a great one in a bolder fall palette 40% off here.) Also drooling over their new sweater coat.

+How I’d style the fair isle:

FAIR ISLE CARDI // CAPED TRENCH // BEST CORDS (GO UP A SIZE) // PLAID TOTE // FAVORITE FALL FLATS

+This reminds me of Alemais, but like half the price! Such a great pattern for fall.

+Love the unexpected greige color on this sweater! (While you’re there: currently wearing my Half Day tee and LOVE it. I paired with these barrel-leg utility pants, which are SO GOOD if you’re a fellow petite. Like the perfect proportions and sit perfectly — try these if you like the Nili Lotan Shons but find them too overwhelming on your frame.)

+Another wardrobe basic I’m obsessed with: these super-snug/slim-fit sweatshirts from Loup, currently on sale for under $80. I love the fit/silhouette — they sort of define your waist but are still cozy/snuggly. Look a little more polished than your average sweatshirt. I own in copper (perfect fall hue) and vermilion.

+A seriously chic blouse for fall jeans.

+My kind of pants. Love the wide leg ankle silhouette!

+I keep this heavy duty lip treatment in my bedside table and apply before bed.

+Ordered this cozy zip-up knit. Intrigued by these wide-leg knit pants, too.

+Wow, the embroidery on this!

+Wayfair is running its “epic fall sale” — how great are this woven end table (50% off!), these adirondack chairs for a fall fire pit / handing out Halloween candy on the front lawn, this woven rug for an entry area?

+In these “last gasp of summer” days, I’m throwing these on with jeans and transition-to-fall tops!

+A great espresso tweed blazer for under $150.

+Cute flannel for your boy.

+Sweetest gingham jammies for littles at a great price. Also, a reminder that Burts Bees has the CUTEST Halloween pajamas for this year (love the illustrations!) and they’re like $15/pop.

+Love this bib front button-down paired with simple straight leg jeans. Currently on sale!

+Margaux has a fun new ballet flat shape — love!

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links above, I may receive compensation.

Image via.