Favorite Things I Wore This Week: This Fanm Mon dress with my Michelle Wilhite clutch (20% off with code MAGPIE20) and my new Dorsey Kate necklace (generously gifted), all seen above. I wore this outfit to my birthday dinner at Black Salt and felt perfectly festive. All four of my siblings and their spouses were in town and I felt so loved. It’s unusual for all of us to be in the same place at the same time, as I have a brother living in Norway, a sister living in Boston, and a sister living in Brooklyn, and there are lots of competing schedules given that there are eight children between us. A little commotion for the Dorsey necklace, which a few of you messaged me about on Instagram. Dorsey uses lab-grown gemstones so that you can get the “legacy” look for a fraction of the price. My mother did a triple take when I walked in (“Is there a gift you want to tell us about?!”), and frankly, so did I. I caught a glance at myself in the mirror while I was getting ready and felt very Grace Kelly! I chose the 15″ Kate Round Cut Riviere, but their bestseller is the 16″ length. I personally feel like the shorter lengths read more modern and are easier to layer with other pieces. I am so excited to incorporate this necklace into my outfit routine. I’ve seen some really chic gals pair theirs with tees and jeans — intrigued to try.
At the opposite end of the spectrum, apparently I’ve been living under a rock for the last few years, because my Vuori order came and I’m in love. I know everyone ordered their joggers during the pandemic but I’m not a big jogger gal. I love (!) this ultra-soft crew (SPF protection, too) as a light top layer over a tank, and then this tank and these shorts are just the dreamiest for lounge and light activity. I wore mine on a walk with a girlfriend and she was raving about the pieces she owns from this brand, too. To be honest, I’d seen them marketed a lot and just never felt that the styles were speaking to me or relevant to my lifestyle, but this summer has presented a lot of opportunity for light activity / running after the kids / going on long walks / doing chores around the home, and I’ve found a place for athleisure in my wardrobe.
To the pool this week, I wore this chic eyelet pareo from Solid and Striped. I now kind of want all of the eyelet pieces from Solid and Striped, but especially this dress and this tunic.
Favorite Things I Bought This Week: I was hoping Minnow would run a Fourth of July sale because my daughter really needed some new suits. I feel like she grew an inch the last few weeks! Alas, no sale — so I bought her this bikini and this halter style at full price. I also bought Mr. Magpie these shorts, these ones, and this button-down. I’m currently trying to pick a couple of items for him from Todd Snyder’s enormous sale, too. He loves their shorts, and if you’re thinking ahead, Mr. Magpie wore this fleece (in a different colorway) a ton last fall/winter, and it’s now under $100.
I didn’t buy these, but one of my favorite boutiques, Danrie, sent me a gift package full of amazing children’s finds all linked here. I’d been telling their founder, Julia, how much my children love t-shirts but how allergic I am to most of the graphic tees you find out there, and she sent me a fabulous collection of t-shirts I actually adore.
Favorite Things I Ate This Week: We picked blue crabs on our back porch with my brother and sister-in-law one night this week — a Mid-Atlantic summer tradition. It was hot and sticky, and then it rained, and we just sat there as the light grew dim and the storm raged around us, picking crabs, drinking pet nat, and talking. I love the ritual, the way your busy hands accommodate idle chatter and pauses in the conversation, and every now and then, you hold up a lump of back fin meat that’s been expertly picked around and everyone oohs and ahhs. Your fingers smell like Old Bay for a good 24 hours afterward, but it’s all part of the experience.
Favorite Thing I Read This Week: Light on reading given our house guests and the attendant late night hangs (we were really leaning into every last minute of our time together), but I did read portions of Book Lovers at the pool, and then re-read Mary Oliver’s “Humpbacks” and discovered Ada Limon’s “The Quiet Machine.” I’ve written about both of the latter already, but they are resonant texts for me at this moment in my life. They speak to major thematic wells I find myself plumbing. Both are rich with the kind of self-knowledge only age and significant reflection can bring.
Favorite Thing I Watched This Week: We didn’t have the television on at all this week! Not once! I enjoyed the feeling of being totally unplugged in the evenings. We spent a lot of time swatting mosquitos and telling stories. I feel a pleasant kind of rootlessness because of it — I have no idea what day it is, but it doesn’t matter. So many of our weekly and even nightly traditions were disrupted by meaningful conversation and connection, and it felt wonderfully gymnastic to bend outside our normal rhythm to catch up with the people I love.
Favorite Thing I Drank This Week: Mai Tais! Recipe here. A perfect peak summer drink. Mr. Magpie whipped up a batch.
Favorite Thing I Did This Week: As you may have gathered, I spent all week ensconced with my siblings and parents and nieces and nephews, and it was life-giving. We spend so much time apart, it’s almost unbelievable when we’re all together. I forget how many of us there are, how dense the volume and commotion and laughter and feelings!
Something I’m Thinking About: How to parent when you’re preoccupied. I feel like I spent so much of this week catching up with siblings, coordinating meals, keeping the house running that I barely saw my children — which was also wonderful in the sense that they were so engaged with their cousins, and there were so many adults around to help when needed, they barely asked for me! Still, I felt strangely disconnected from them, even though we were under the same roof and at the same gatherings all week. Is this what it would feel like to live closer to all my family? To have many loving people on hand at all time? I experienced a kind of strange internal friction thinking about this. I realized how much we typically function as a small family unit, spending time with just the four of us, in our own home, playing our own games and taking our own family excursions. This is partly because of COVID years but partly by geography (e.g. living far from family) and then preference. I feel so close to my children, so accustomed to their patterns and tells and wants and needs, and I am comforted by that intimacy. If I had lived or did live in more of a true community environment, with, for example, multiple generations living in the same house, or multiple siblings living in the neighborhood, what would change? Not saying any one way is better or worse, just different.
Something I’m Working On: Delegation. There were a lot of demands on me this week and I have been trying to get better at passing off tasks. I have this very strong memory of a party we hosted a few years ago that was absolute chaos. I think I hadn’t planned well enough, but I was trying to coordinate and lead children’s activities while ensuring everyone’s glasses were filled and the snacks were brought out, and I had, frankly, a terrible time. I was just a ping pong ball filling random tasks, clearing plates, etc. I now look back and realize I should have simplified the affair, or at least delegated. There was no reason I couldn’t have asked a friend to make the rounds with a bottle of wine, or refill the chip bowl, or lead the children. Why do I do that to myself?
Favorite Things I Found This Week: Oo this week was full of good finds. Items in my cart / that I’ve ordered / that I’m eyeing:
CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS WHITE APRON DRESS SINCE SEEING IT ON OLYMPIA GAYOT
SUPERGOOP’S GLOWSTICK — I’VE HEARD THIS IS PERFECT FOR APPLYING TO WIGGLY CHILDREN
THIS CUYANA TOTE — I SAW THIS ON A GAL IN BETHESDA AND IT LOOKED SO MUCH MORE EXPENSIVE THAN IT IS
ANYTHING MILLE…THEIR SALE SECTION IS AN EXTRA 50% OFF, AND HOW CUTE IS THIS?!
THIS BEACH CARDIGAN — ENTERING MY NANCY MEYERS ERA
THIS PERFECT WHITE TOP AND THESE PERFECT WHITE SHORTS (HONESTLY I WANT EVERYTHING FROM G LABEL)
Hi Jen!
Do you have some recs for a gift- it’s for my BIL and SIL who are letting me crash with them for a few days! They don’t drink, but love to cook. Under $100 would be ideal! Thank you!! Xo
Hi! How about a delivery of Jeni’s ice cream or a big set of spices from Spice House?
https://bit.ly/3PJzR98
You might also find this post on some of our favorite unusual kitchen gear a good starting point for cool but unexpected gifts for cooks —
https://magpiebyjenshoop.com/kitchen-favorites-you-might-not-have/
XX
I think about this SO much! How to parent with your preoccupied. It’s so interesting. We do not have close family near by, we also don’t have a lot of friends with kids so we often are just a family unit. I sometimes worry about this and wish we had at least another family to hang out with, but I also love how close we are as a little unit. Our children are very young, 2 and 5, and I definitely see that they are a bit shy. Would they be more outgoing if they were around lots of people more? But I love how close or family is at the moment and I know that as they grow up, they will increasingly want others around so I’m trying to cherish these moments where it’s just us. And just like you said, when there are so many others around, you really aren’t connecting with your kids quite as much and I definitely miss that part. I know this will all change one day.
Hi Tracey – You are way ahead of me in your awareness of this! I don’t know that there is anything we can do, or that one way is better than the other, but it is a gift to be alert to it, to embrace what you have while you have it, to see the good in some of the more trying aspects of living relatively insularly. Your comments here remind me of how adaptable we truly are as humans. We can thrive and find good wherever we’re planted!
xx
looove these snaps, you look so fab, esp in that first outfit!
i think a LOT about your point re: family units and community. we live an 8ish hour car ride away from my parents, siblings, + extended family in new england, and i often think about how different our lives would be if we lived closer to the web of aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings’ friend and partners, etc. like you said, neither is better or worse, but it can often feel like the grass is greener! then again, i have friends here who lament the obligations that geographically-closer extended families create. we’ve tried to be intentional about creating a solid community of young parents, neighbors, years-long friends, etc. in our chosen community down here to help supplement, but it can feel hard. thank goodness for technology and multiple-calls-per-day to my mom as errant thoughts, recipe guidance requests, scheduling questions, innocent gossip reports, etc. flit around!
Hi Erica! These are such great points, especially the “grass is always greener point.” It’s interesting but because my brother lives SO far away, when he’s here, we REALLY clear our schedules and the only focus is hang-time. We chat for hours and hours, feeling like we need to compress a year of hanging out into ten days. There are some insane benefits to this. I always feel so close to him. It feels like intentional, loving time. I don’t know I’d get that kind of QT if he lived closer? So interesting!
Thanks also for the lovely encouragement on the photos!
xx
Re: your “something I’m thinking about,” you might enjoy the writings of Kathryn Jezer-Morton, many of which are linked on her website. Despite now living a fairly conventional life with her husband and children in a single family home in a city, she grew up on a Vermont commune and has written profoundly about the value of social interdependence, particularly around raising children in the 21st century. Her “What It Was Like Growing Up on a Commune” piece for the Nation in 2021 is something I still think about often.
Thank you so much for the rec! Going to read it! I know so little about this subject and have never really thought critically about it. Thank you!
xx
I just read this piece and WOW! What an interesting read. That was such a beautiful reflection. I find it so interesting that the author is able to see the positives and negatives of her experience. In the few other pieces I’ve read from people who were raised on communes, the reflection is usually much more harsh.