The Magpie Diary: Aug. 25, 2024.

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I have never felt lonely in this vocation. I think, as an introvert, and a bookish one, I am pre-conditioned to not only tolerate but enjoy — crave — long, quiet stretches tinkering with words in my studio. To quote C.S. Lewis: “I am a product of long corridors, empty sunlit rooms, upstairs indoor silences, attics explored in solitude, distant noises of gurgling cisterns and pipes, and the noise of wind under the tiles. Also, of endless books.” I have been toying this week with the idea of absconding to a remote location by myself for a few days to write roundly. I have been shaping a fictional project and it has consumed so much of my energy and time this past month that I am shell-like when I emerge to care for my children, and take meals, and clumsily interact with neighbors. I am the ostrich with her head in the sand during the day, disoriented and drained after. The half-formed characters, the flagging arc of the story, follow me everywhere. Even last night, forcing myself to disconnect for the evening, I watched the first episode of Vince Vaughn’s “Bad Monkey,” and could think only of how good the show’s writing was, and stooped to investigate its seams, its techniques. A shame, in a sense, because the show has a winning charm to it, an ease with its banter. This is a show that has fun with itself — and there I was, measuring tape in hand. I hear a small alarm ringing. This is how it felt when I was in graduate school, and trained to read in a certain loveless way. Pleasure gave way to a clinician’s steely-eyed study.

But what to do? Continue to write; answer the siren call; permit my mind to wander to its inexorable ends.

To return, though: I have never felt lonely in writing. I feel most like myself when I’m engrossed in it. But I used to feel lonely in the running of the business end of it. How to find a web developer to implement the small changes I needed to make? What was a good deal; what was a rip off? Do I need a dedicated server? Brand partnerships — how to build them, how to ask for a fair fee? Thankfully, a few women in this industry have been generous with me, and made introductions, and weighed in with kindness: Grace Atwood, Stephanie Covington, Mackenzie Horan, Nan Philip, to give credit where credit is due. Also the entire team at Shopbop, who have been encouraging me in their own way since I was first setting out, all the way back in 2011, if you can believe it. I still remember the glee and shock of a $200 bonus they extended my way, out of the blue, when I was just a janky site using thick blue font on an off-the-shelf WordPress theme.

Nowadays, though, I don’t feel lonely in the business side of things. I have curated a small team of experts that help me with the things I know nothing about, or perhaps am uninterested in knowing anything about. One of them, Daniela Quintero from my branding firm (Arcal Studio), occasionally sends me notes on how to fix things to make them look better. I love her for her preening care. She wrote me this week: “Congratulations on everything with MAGPIE—I love everything you post and share! My only recommendation for the newsletters would be to make the logo header a bit smaller hehe.” The joy this note brought me cannot be overstated. To feel as though I am part of a team rowing in the same direction — to be held, and looked after! What a gift. I sat with that email and thought: “this is a turning point.” To what I don’t know? But I am pausing to remark on the feeling.

Anyhow, the slow and careful assemblage of a team over the past many years is why I have been reluctant to network at this time of my life. Well, that and COVID, and having kids, and discovering that my free time is no longer my own. But I used to put myself out there a lot more, proactively meeting fellow creatives to learn about their work, to talk shop, and now I wonder if the void those activities used to fill has already been satisfied. And then last month, Heather Bien emailed me and asked me to join a creatives lunch with a few D.C.-area entrepreneurs, and I said yes. And I am so glad I did. The energy this group of women brought to the table! I witnessed a rarified vortex of creativity and passion in a window table at La Bonne Vache (former home to Booeymonger from my high school days; RIP). The questions they asked, the learnings they shared, the way each listened and plumbed her own experience for insight. You must visit with Chesley McCarty (real estate/photography), Heather Bien (home restoration/writing), and Jacqueline Bond (of Bond and Grace — an independent imprint that publishes classic novels that have been transformed into works of art, complete with illustrations by fine artists and head notes by literary scholars). I find each of these businesses fascinating because they are art-forward, and intersectional. Businesses that contain multitudes. And the women that run them, multiples of those multitudes.

After I left the table, I walked to my car on O Street, and I thought about all the versions of myself that have been born in Georgetown. I run into a different Jen at every cross-street. And I met another one that afternoon: the one who can sit at a table with successful entrepreneurs and communicate the wilderness of running a creative business, too. Perhaps not elegantly. (As always, I found many interesting things to say after I left the table, and rehashed my table-mates’ inquiries on the drive home.) But there was a marked shock, and joy, in discovering that I had insights that were relevant, and a ready draw of careful opinions shaped by experience. This is 40, I guess? Where you are still learning (always) but also capable of calling on actual lived experience to shape a conversation?

There are times in your life where you know things are changing. You can’t put your finger on what it means, or where you are headed, but you notice signals. People consistently coming to you for specific advice; a pattern of interactions you’d never had before; an uptick in productivity; consistent requests from your boss; the need for new (more powerful) technical gear; certain narrow clarities. I feel that way right now, as if I’m in creative metamorphosis. I am writing my way, as always, through it. Here is the gossamer nymph thread; here is the chrysalid pen. Time will tell when my frenetic cellular movements will give way to new legs, eyes, wings.

*****

Sunday shopping poetry:

I’ve thoroughly tested this blow dry spray and it is top-tier. I started with the travel size and upgraded to full size this week. A must for a sleek blowout — discovered via Julia Amory. // Knitwear brand Kilte has launched a fabulous sale — the Maura in ivory is a forever-piece, and their washable cashmere sets are great for travel // Cult favorite bodycare brand Necessaire is offering 20% off sitewide today through 9/2 — I know many of you swear by their unscented body lotion and eucalyptus body wash // You need this fleece popover — I wear her constantly in 50-60 degree weather (incoming!). Perfect casual top layer with a touch more polish than a crewneck. // A Magpie reader insisted that these barrel-style jeans are IT, and I ordered them, and she was correct. I am obsessed with them – the photos on site don’t do them justice. Get ready to see them all the time. // Jewelry brand Soru is offering 20% off — gorgeous statement earrings for a bride, and I spotted these on my friend Chrissy and she looked fabulous // I do not need a new blush, but I ordered this in the color “spicy marg” per the beautiful Katie’s rec // Caro Chamber’s book is #2 on the NYT best-seller’s list — can we help make it #1?! // Chic alternative to a Samba in on-trend brown suede. // Elemis’s friends and family sale (25% off) ends today — these resurfacing pads are excellent (facial in wipe form) and I just ordered this cleanser to try. // Sezane’s fall collection launches this morning!

KILTE CARDIGAN (ON SALE) // SORU EARRINGS (20% OFF) // NECESSAIRE BODY WASH (20% OFF) // ELEMIS CLEANSER (25% OFF) // FLEECE POPOVER // SAMBA ALTERNATIVE // RHODE BLUSH