Stormy Weather

On Emo Days, I wear black.  {To be read in the manner of “On Wednesdays, we wear pink” from “Mean Girls” — see this moment of cinematic glory here — aka the apex of Lindsay Lohan’s creative capabilities, and the official end of her career.  See?  I’m emo.}  These are the days that begin when I look in my closet and turn up my nose at the parade of colors and patterns lining its {jam-packed} walls.  These are the days I dress in {what I consider to be} sophisticated black and tell myself I’m going to move to NYC, contemplate stuffing all of my old Lilly Pulitzer into a trunk to be stored at my parents’, and generally walk around with a chip on my shoulder.  I lean towards slick, urban ensembles of all black, with occasional pops of citrine yellow {my new jam}, and wish that I was cool enough to know what “underground bands” are before inevitably flipping to 99.5 and jamming out to some bubble gum Rihanna.  Par example: a tweed Moschino jacket (love the zipper detail — on sale for $1,182, Net-A-Porter), black skinnies, and sloafers ($60, TopShop):

I’d finish with this neon-accented purselette (Marc Jacobs, $410, Matches):

And then — some It Gal shades (Beiber and Kanye wear this brand, so you know they’re “hip” — Super, $139, Madewell):

And — why not?  A neon-accented cuff ($375, CC Skye):

Yeehaw, city slicker style.  Anything in my wardrobe featuring leather is also acceptable.  I wish that included this moody leather-accented shift (Chloe, $1,345, MyTheresa), which I’d wear with my hair loose and slightly unkempt and a pair of glossy aviators (The Row, $355, Barney’s):

I’d finish it off with clean color-blocked tote (this one is by Celine, but you’d need to go to a boutique to make it your own) and some fantastic shoes (Zanotti, on sale for $657, Net-A-Porter):

As for accents?  Just a minimalist watch (Movado, $1,495, Bloomingdale’s), a fierce iPhone cover ($98, Jagger Edge), and a swipe of red lipstick (Chanel, $43, CosmeticMall), and a spritz of elegant perfume ($145, Barney’s):

Or, how this darling dalmatian print dress (DKNY, $371, MyWardrobe)?  {Or, check out this comparable Parker style ($242), which I’m absolutely coveting.  It’s on the short list for new purchases in the coming months.  Please go on sale.}

I’d finish with the iconic Alexander Wang Rocco bag (and P.S. — everything from Alexander Wang would pretty much fit the bill for Emo Days — $875, Ssense) and some black tootsies (these Alexa Chung-style short boots from Topshop would be the ideal footwear pairing, but I’m afraid of them — so I’d opt for something funky in a Magpie way, like these ruffled Maison Margiela booties — on sale for $482, Shopbop):

Before you roll your eyes at the boots {I’m normally more of an advocate for functionality, I promise!}, just know that Kelly Wearstler {aka chicest woman on planet} rocks her own pair in hot pink.  {Get inspired by checking out her visually stimulating blog, MyVibeMyLife.}  I’d add a spritz of ladylike perfume (how TDF is this bottle?! — $145, Barney’s):

Alternately, pair neon yellow sunnies (Super, $130, Intermix), which add an element of the devil may care to any ensemble, with a tailored black leather jacket (Moschino, $658, MyWardrobe), black shorts ($255, Rag&Bone), black tights, and those Givenchy flats I’m still drooling over ($520, Jade24):

Very Kate Moss, in my view.  Perfection.  I’d add only a simple clutch pouch — still coveting a classic two-tone Celine style:

Is the above look a bit too edgy for ya, between the bold sunnies, the leather jacket, and the shorts-tights combo?  Never fear.  Try out a ladylike pencil skirt (Proenza Schouler, on sale for $395, MyTheresa) with a black blouse (Marc Jacobs, $254, MyWardrobe) and some black enorma-studs ($93, John Lewis):

Finish with these gold-capped heels ($220, Vince Camuto):

If you’re not afraid of a little matchy-matchiness and are of limitless funds, you might finish with this fantastic tweed cropped jacket (Giambattista Valli, $4,365, Net-A-Porter):

For just a taste, consider this bold yellow necklace (Noir, $253, Shopbop) with a leather-trimmed sheath (Rag&Bone, $495, Barney’s), tights, and booties (love the cuffed detail — on sale for $298, Loeffler Randall):

Top it all off with this dalmatian print clutch (Alexander Wang, $525, Net-A-Porter):

For home, decorate the coffee table with this slick Tom Ford book (quite the investment…$279, Amazon):

Lovely effect with your day-glo yellow tootsies tucked beneath the table (Jeffrey Campbell, on sale for $65, Karmaloop):

{Although — PSST — kind of love the above style in this pink jaguar print.  Get outta here.  But that’s for a non-emo magpie day.}  Top your book stack off with my favorite candle scent ever — Diptyque’s “Baies” ($90, Saks):

And — just for a little fun, consider this day-glo yellow Cambridge Satchel Company messenger I’ve been whining about this past couple of weeks ($155, Shopbop):

A comparable style is available for only $48 here if you’re looking for the style on the cheap.  Finally, round it all out with perfume in lovely black packaging ($69, Bloomingdale’s) and a moody nail lacquer ($16, Apothica):

The polish is aptly named “Stormy Weather.”  And, finally, lest we all get too emo on ourselves, let’s realize that it’s ALMOST the New Year and it’s time to glam up for the occasion!  As a special treat to my lovely readers, the uber-talented fashion illustrator INSLEE HAYNES has sweetly offered one lucky magpie a print of one of her most fabulous fashion sketches!  (See below!)  EEE!  How’s that for getting into the holiday spirit?!  All you have to do is leave a comment on this post describing your NYE get-up for this year!  If you want to be a doll, please LIKE Inslee on Facebook or follow her on Twitter.  I had the opportunity to chat with his little chic pea, and she is the sweetest, most talented little lady in the planet.  So hop to it!

{image via Inslee Hanyes}

A winner will be announced this upcoming MONDAY to ring in the New Year!  AND…Happy New Year!