*Image above via Jo Rodgers.
Earlier this summer, I shared a quote: “It is not necessary to react to everything we notice.” This has both inbound and outbound benefits. On the former: we conserve our energy for the things that matter to us; on the latter: sometimes (often times?) our loosely-offered opinions are uninvited, superfluous, even unintentionally wounding.
I’ve noticed something as I’ve called on this quote over the past few weeks. Oftentimes, my reaction to something wanes in intensity, changes course, or renders itself moot over a short period of time, and I regret the fervency of my immediate response. Why did I care so much? Why did I come out in bold all-caps?
Write in soft pencil, I remind myself. Not everything — in fact, only the scarce sacrosanct — deserves copperplate engraving.
This is not to say I cannot feel intensely and authentically, but that I must take care to when translating.
Because it is OK — likely — that I will change my mind, and I’d prefer the latitude to erase and try again, to write over my own penmanship without the stain of ink.
It is OK to not feel firmly about everything. Multiple things can be true at once.
There are situations that call for permanent ink, and others for pliable lead.
Post-Script.
+”Who are the five women you’d like to be the average of?”
+A woman contains multitudes.
+What superpower would you want?
Shopping Break.
The following content may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
+Seriously eyeing a few items from AYR — their mail catalog just arrived last week and was so good, and included a code for 10% off with TAKEOFF! Have been eyeing the Early Mornings tee forever (sort of a hybrid between a tee and sweatshirt – love the lived-in look!) and might need it in that brown/white stripe. Also, their Secret Sauce jeans apparently sell out every launch…love them in the black?
+THE BEST day planner. I’ve used this for years now. Cheap, provides a ton of space to write out what you need to do each day, etc! Can’t recommend more. I’m also now hooked on these gel pens.
+My mom recently texted me asking for an undereye cream rec. I am still using Beyou’s $20 caffeine eye cream a lot of the time. My eyes were puffy earlier this summer – I think from allergies and poor sleep? – and this was so helpful. I had my makeup done a few weeks back and my artist asked: “who does your undereye botox?” !! It was not botox, it was this cream! So, I use that or UBeauty’s Return Eye Concentrate (20% off with code JENSHOOP). It’s much more expensive, but I find it more hydrating than Beyou. I basically alternate between the two depending on what my skin needs. If I’m looking puffy, it’s the Beyou; if I need hydration, it’s Ubeauty.
+We are about to buy my son a big boy bed! I’ve narrowed it down to Room & Board’s Parson bed, possibly in a fun color like red?, and PB’s Hamptons bed, probably in the brushed fog color. I also love C&B’s spindle bed, but we thought he might find it too babyish in a few years?
+I’m just beginning to look for his bedding — I absolutely love this duvet cover but the price is giving me pause (he’s five; this will be stained), so might do this striped duvet (about 1/2 the price) and pair with fun contrasting sheets like these stars, this space set, or these boats.
+Speaking of kids bedding – OMG. I’m dying over Roller Rabbit’s collab with PB Teen — these sheets! This backpack/lunchbox set! This shower caddy / laundry bag!
+Manolo recently released their iconic Maysales in delicious velvet colors. I’ve wanted a pair of these for years and years now. You can scratch the itch with these Larroudes (come in fun colors/fabrics) or these Amazons for even less. Really love the vibe of this shoe silhouette with the Colby pants.
+Negative just launched really fun flared pointelle lounge pants. I can’t explain my obsession with these? I also LOVE and live in their whipped lounge pants. The GOAT. And their whipped bralettes are among our favorite undergarments.
+Hill House released a pre-fall collection last week — did my HHH girlies get anything? I love the tie shoulders on this dress.
+Niche, but – we’ve lost power a few times this summer, and my husband researched the best flashlights/lanterns/lamps, and this brand Sofirn came up over and over again. We bought a bunch of their lanterns and lamps and they are incredible! When our power went out during storm Debbie, a single one of these could light an entire room (and then some).
+This chic dress from Tory Burch just went on sale. I’m obsessed – wish it hadn’t sold out in my size.
+A perfect chunky wool knit in a great neutral color. Under $150.
+Another cool take on the cord collar barn coat trend.
+Gorgeous marigold-colored dress.
+Hamptons sweatshirt!
I love the look of my daughter’s spindle bed but she is a reader and has started to complain it is not cozy for leaning against while reading in bed. Something to consider!
Great note – thanks!!
Oh wow, love the Rilke quote and so many of your turns of phrase! Really appreciate these quick bites of your deep thoughts.
That Rilke one is such a gem — I think a Magpie reader first introduced me to it a few years ago. Now it presents itself constantly in my thinking.
Thanks for the encouragement 🙂
xx
I have been trying to get more comfortable with using the phrase “I don’t know enough about that to have formed an opinion.” Something about our hyper connected culture and social media saturation really encourages instant opinion formation, but it’s ok to say you’re still gathering data.
I like the way you phrased that – thanks for sharing.
xx
The YSL trapezoid sunglasses are amazing! Need.
I totally agree with your point about favoring curiosity and nuance over brazen opinions. I may be misremembering but I swear you mentioned the influencer/TikToker Tinx here once, whom I also love. What you said instantly reminded me of something she posted recently: “Strong opinions, loosely held.” I thought that summed it up nicely.
Hi! Yes, I love the way she phrases that — totally. She is funny and has great perspective but also open to feedback, carries herself lightly. I admire that about her!
Thank you for chiming in!
xx
Michael Stars — now there’s a brand I hadn’t thought about since high school!
Some combination of excessive ellipticism and bandwidth have led me to seriously prune my opinion garden (I’m old enough to know that ignorance and opinions are poor bedfellows, ha). But asking more questions— yes! I still take notice of people who ask more than they answer.
Also, Jo Rodgers’ sussex rental is EXACTLY what I want my house to grow into.
Oh gosh, I know – her home is gorgeous! Can you imagine writing at that nook?!
I love the way you phrased this — “pruning my opinion garden.” And yes to asking more questions — yes! My Dad is that way. Incredibly smart, well-read, sophisticated, and yet he will be the first in the room to stop and ask a question.
xx
I feel your pain over succumbing to Crocs for the kids. I thought I would NEVER, but oh boy, they are easy for kids to get on by themselves, easy to clean, and indestructible. So, as you say, “that’s where we are now.” One of the joys of parenthood! 🙂
Ha – exactly!!! You get it. So many of these things I thought I’d never do. Smeh!
xx