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I’m at a bit of a loss as to what to write today, when our attention is, importantly, elsewhere. So instead I will share a few points of inspiration that I’ve found life-affirming or beautiful or both in the past week.
+“Yes” by Na Mee (scroll down to the section titled “Prompt 310” — although Suleika’s prologue is also lovely and worth a read). I wept when reading this beautiful essay on loss, grief, and pet adoption. I think this might be one of the most achingly beautiful passages I’ve read in months:
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“In my first family, not even my mother was home when she gave birth to me. She had snuck away to Busan, the furthest place a Korean can go before they walk into the ocean. Almost two months later, she agreed to let my father take me to an orphanage. My intake paperwork says that I was cute. The physician wrote that I was “probably adoptable.” I went from an orphanage to a foster family to an airplane to America to an American family. Everyone I ever knew in Korea left, including me.
They say I cried the entire way, which is fourteen hours, which is a long time to tread water. Sometimes, even now, I drown in the wake of a goodbye. I know, and Bear knows, that some people never return. I too can be alone. And, I too have tried to pry open the last door someone walked through.
Six months before I met Bear, my father (who adopted me) unexpectedly died. When grief appears on your doorstop, it brings everyone it knows. All my goodbyes bobbed at the surface.
Came in waves
Left"
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“All my goodbyes bobbed at the surface.” I mean, the craftsmanship, the centricity and visual potency of that feeling of loss. Then, at the end of the essay, this gem:
“I noticed him spin in the rain, I noticed him wait in the sun, I noticed us changing. Training Bear trained us both to sit in a world of loss and stay in it, two seconds more at a time. Again and again, Bear made me come home to my goodbyes. And, home to my hellos, to new beginnings, new ways of being.
I’ve trained him to walk on a leash without dragging me. I’ve trained him to walk off a leash and return to me. But, the best command is heel.
Heal, I’ll say, and this means we walk next to each other.
Every dog trainer will tell you, timing is everything.”
You don’t need me to tell you the many ways this made me feel. Over the weekend, my daughter told me she still panics when she accidentally drops her little bouncy ball in the house, thinking Tilly will lunge for it, and eat it. She used to make herself sick ingesting any manner of plastic toy, but she especially loved those five-and-dime rubber bouncy balls my children will bring home in goody bags. I’d usually confiscate them or ban them inside — they were too tempting for our airedale. Funny, that the impression, the instinct, remains with my daughter. Our lives become mosaics of the people (and pets) we love.
+Riley Sheehey’s book art — she has been hand-detailing the covers of antique books. Absolute treasures.
+The Author Clock: a whimsical timepiece that gives you the time via book quote. There is also a web browser version of this by Johs Enevoldsen– I sometimes keep it in an open tab and tap over when I’m hungry for inspiration.
+I am still clinging to that moment where Andrew Garfield talked about how mysterious art is, how it draws us to places we didn’t know we needed to go, or couldn’t otherwise access. It reminded me of a quote by Whitman I have in one of my notebooks: “Do you know o speech how the buds beneath you are folded?” We all cabin these complex inner networks of root and reference just waiting to be called upon by the right sets of words.
+Millie Illustrates’ Guide to November. Charming illustration, and I thought the phrase “the month in-between” was provocative. Poor November! October gets all of the upswing and December is the party? Is that how we feel? I’m not sure – Thanksgiving feels robust to me, but the string of weeks in early November do feel a bit like no man’s land, when I am sheepish about listening to holiday music, and unsure whether tartan is acceptable. How do you feel about this month — chapter 11 of 12?
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+And a couple of quick notes on things I’ve recently ordered, or added to cart, or contemplated.
GIFTS: Appointed launched its desk calendar and I am already looking forward to having it up on my desk come January. I am constantly pulling up my calendar on my phone — extremely handy to have it accessible at a glance. (I believe the code MAGPIEBYJENSHOOP gets you 15% off. I also believe their notebooks would be a spectacular gift for a paper lover, journaler, note-taker, etc.) I also love the ones my girlfriend Inslee releases each year (also just launched). Either of these would be lovely gifts for someone in the “impossible to shop for” category — they are lovely, artful, and useful. The Inslee ones feel apt for an MIL. I have been organizing gift ideas here in case you’re in the mood for some early shopping. I have to say these metallic trim, limited edition Stanleys would be a great gift for a teen, or a teacher. Try the code COLLECTIVE20 — some exclusions apply, but I think most of the Stanley website is 20% off.
STYLE: Recent orders I’m excited about here. I wore this coat to my in-laws over the weekend and loved the way it felt layered over a sweater — layers of warmth and hygge — and the button details are exceptional. And, I mentioned this yesterday, but Sezane’s Sunday drop was so good. I ordered this skirt and a top that’s already sold out (!), but I also had two dresses — this and this — in and out of my cart, taunting me. And! I ordered my second pair of Agolde pinch waist crops, this time in a darker wash (TTS). I love the au courant barrels and wide-legs, but sometimes you do need a classic straight to make certain silhouettes work (blazers, boots).
HOME: Already in holiday home decor buying mode. I’ve placed a few orders from Target — the brass card holder we all loved last week and then this set of three wicker holiday trees (large, medium, small) from Studio McGee, which will assuredly sell out. I am regretting not adding these card clips to my last order. I can imagine they’d be so handy for holiday parties. And, I ordered this fabulous tree skirt from Julia Amory (JEN-15 for 15% off). I’m sure this will sell through. More early holiday decor finds here.
Onward, friends —