What is a good life? As I get older, I am realizing the core of it is simpler than I imagined. Written as a reduced fraction, a good life equals my loved ones happy, healthy, and close at hand, a blank page in front of me, and plans loose enough to live in.
But let me look at the unspooled equation. What does a good life really look like, stretched out across its decades? I think it includes falling in love and walking around on heartstrings and looking after the people who look after you and succeeding at something you’re really good at, but it’s not 29,200 days of sunshine, birdsong, and heartswell. Because a good life also includes:
Mistakes
Bad break-ups with the wrong ones (so you can meet the right one)
Terrible first drafts
“I have no idea what I’m doing”
Closed doors
Years that ask (versus answer)
Criticism
Getting caught in the rain
“We regret to inform you” letters
Throwing everything out and starting over from scratch
“How did I miss that?!”
Outgrowing friendships
Asking for help
Change, change, and more change
Walking in the wrong direction
Grief (love’s twin sister)
What I mean is, every “good life” has a lot of bad days — they’re part of the territory. We could probably go through this list and find life-affirming reframes for each one — rejections are redirections! — but we might be flirting with toxic positivity. And some of this stuff, frankly, sucks. (“These are the days that must happen to you.”) Instead, I’ll reiterate one of my favorite quotes from Anais Nin: “In life, you will make mistakes, and those, too, are correct.” Don’t return the groceries with the cart, you know?
Post-Scripts.
+On anticipating in motherhood.
Shopping Break.
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+Tuckernuck just released a gorgeous belt that reminds me a lot of my ones from Dehanche. The brown croc would be super versatile but try the taupe! I feel like you’ll wear it more than you think, especially as we head into spring. SO GOOD with ecru/white denim.
+THANK YOU to the Magpie reader who suggested this children’s guide to Disney World (they release a new one each year so information is relevant). I bought one for each of my children and they have been reading it nonstop. It provides images, descriptions, and ratings (i.e., wild, scary, dark, loud) of all of the rides, maps, and even a space at the end for them to fill in their memories and get autographs from the characters. My children are obsessed with it! It’s also a good way to give them a realistic preview of what’s ahead. Strong rec. BTW, all of your comments on my Disney post were SO insightful. A gold mine!
+Sezane’s new spring collection is delightful. Love this bold sweater and this eyelet dress, which reminds me of the styles from Veronica Beard (compare with this, this).
+But I keep thinking about these floral pants! SO chic, whether styled with the matching top (loving a set moment for spring) or with a pastel sweater.
+I know I’m the last person on earth to try this stuff, but my mom tucked a mini La Neige lip mask into my stocking this year and I used it every single time I am in my bathroom / washing my hands and am now all out! I love the consistency of it. I just ordered this set of minis. I also just finished up my entire tube of Lip Oasis and ordered a new one — I keep that one in my purse with me. It’s hydrating but also delivers this great glassy sheen. It was just restocked recently after being sold out!
+Love the shape and wash of these jeans. I like the idea of pairing with a classic white tee for day and a sophisticated (but affordable) top like this for evening.
+Seriously fun earrings for vacation. (Just pair with a simple white dress like this, this, or this and you’re set.)
+Currently using and loving this new-to-me peptide mascara from a smaller beauty brand.
+Pretty lace-trim slip dress in one of the colors of the season.
+Oo! Erdem x Barbour! (More here!)
Bad break-ups with the wrong ones (so you can meet the right one)
^^this stopped me in my tracks. I met my husband later than I wanted and experienced a few bad breakups before he came along. Oh how I wish I could go back to share this entire letter with my younger self. Instead, I’ve created a folder where I’ve bookmarked things I want to teach my daughter (she is three). I will be adding this to my folder! In addition, I plan to tell her about how the mosaics of the people we love shape us. That not everything resolves to a fine point. Treat everything like it is the most important, True love lives in the smallest of spaces (and can fit on a couch). and my favorite- what it means to be a woman of substance. Side note, if there is ever another round of Inslee prints…please consider Woman of Substance. I would treasure a visual reminder. Or just make an entire coffee table book 🙂
Gosh thank you so much. I am so deeply moved by this — thank you, friend. Solidarity in all these things!!
Stay tuned for more Magpie stuff!!! 🙂
xx