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Earlier this year, I referenced an interview with Gwyneth Paltrow in which she commented: “What I strive for is really to feel beauty: connected to all the wisdom that came with my crow’s-feet, channeling a sort of Maine-woman-in-the-summer free spirit. I want to look in the mirror and see skin that looks taken care of; I want it to feel hydrated and nourished. I want it to look like the best skin I can have today, not 10 years ago. I want it to look how I feel: exactly my age and better than ever.”
I know Gwyneth is a polarizing figure, especially owing to her complicated participation in the “wellness” space, but her casting of the “Maine-woman-in-the-summer” archetype lodged itself in my subconscious — in a good way. Her language lapped right up against an experience I had last summer in Colorado, when a naturalist named Rebecca took my sisters and I birding one July morning. Rebecca had the most gorgeous energy: calm, inquisitive, watchful. And of course her deep expertise in birding and botany won me over, too; she seemed to quietly know everything about everything around us. She also had luminous, make-up free skin, with delicate smile lines at her eyes, and a slight bronze on her nose from the summer sun. I kept thinking to myself: this is the kind of beauty that comes from the inside out, that is the result of thoughtful self-care in all its forms. You could just tell she spent a good portion of her day out in the woods, looking for birds but finding herself; that she had some sort of simple but nourishing skincare regimen she never deviated from; that she did yoga and ate whole foods and drank liters of water. I know I’m writing my own wishful narrative onto her, but these were the impressions that materialized after only an hour in her company. Perhaps it is strange to say that I have been thinking of her as I move through my own rituals this year, and that her avatar — so similar to Gwyneth’s “Maine-woman-in-the-summer” — led to me to a loose but ambitious goal for myself: to get more comfortable with my own bare skin.
In 2025, I — for probably the first time in my entire adult life (at least that I can remember / when not in a situation of emergency) — left the home with nothing but skincare on my face. And then it became routine. This was at first a function of pragmatism: I couldn’t figure out how else to drop the kids, exercise, and do my LED mask without having to remove my cosmetics post-carpool and pre-workout. Or I guess I just stopped wanting to have that step. Because as recently as last year, I would have put at least something on for drop-off — tinted moisturizer, swipe of blush or bronzer, mascara, a dab of concealer — and would then often go for my run with mascara dripping into my eyes. What a waste! Of product, of time, of displaced pride. I know this sounds like an outrageously trivial shift but I think it signals something important, something drawing me closer to an aspirational value: to feel truly at ease with myself. To adapt some of GP’s phrasing, I want to be able to look in the mirror and see someone who looks taken care of, who is still in her center, who is well in her own skin.
One of the things that has helped me in this pursuit has been the concept of “being high maintenance so I can be low maintenance.” Have you heard this phrase? It first bubbled up to me after I nosily asked about your grooming rituals and learned that some of you invest in routine skincare or haircare treatments so that you can do less in the intervening periods. For example, some Magpies book routine facials or brow tintings or keratin treatments so they spend less time on a daily basis with skincare/haircare/makeup/etc.
I really love this idea — it’s similar to Landon’s biases as an engineer. Why do the same thing daily if you can automate it with a little upfront investment? (I’m thinking specifically of the way our garage doors are programmed to open at a certain time each morning, and the car will automatically start one minute after, so it’s warm when you get in. A little upfront ingenuity brings ease to the morning.)
Anyway, I’ve been putting some thought into this in my own regimen, and a few things I have been doing to help me front-load the effort so I can do less later:
01. Habit-stacking my self-care and grooming activities. I hate to use a buzzy term, but this concept is truly helpful for me in this area. I almost always try to bundle two different “self-care” activities. This is both an effective mnemonic (i.e., I remember to do both things) and, obviously, a straight-forward way to get more done in less time. For example, I usually listen to a meditation while wearing my red light mask. I can’t tell you how fantastic I feel afterward — the combo is like a quick blitz of grounding energy. I also apply my hair tinctures and tonics (bonding treatment and/or hair oils) and let them soak in while I’m exercising. I’ll put on teeth whitening trays while doing a face mask. Etc.
02. My LED red light therapy mask more generally. I think this has been the single-most effective addition to my skincare regimen in years, and I’d even say this is 60 or 70% of why I feel more comfortable in my bare skin these days. (The other 30-40% being regular, attentive skincare.) The mask has led me to wear less makeup and be more at ease in bare skin. I’ve written about this product many times before and was thrilled when they offered to partner with me on this portion of the blog post because I deeply believe in its efficacy. (You may remember that porcelain skin queen Nellie Diamond was asked: “what are your skincare recs?” and she replied: “If you live in NYC: go to my dermatologist; if you live anywhere else, wear a red light mask.” Her conviction in this statement really led me to jump on board!). You can read all about red light therapy here, but the gist is that you put the mask on for ten minutes each day, and it emits three clinically recognized wavelengths: red (633nm), near-infrared (830nm) and deep near-infrared (1072nm) that collectively reduce redness and fine lines while boosting collagen production. You feel nothing at all while wearing it (it’s not hot; it doesn’t tingle or burn) and it’s portable — you don’t have to sit still wearing it. You charge it every week or so, and then you can just tuck the battery pack into a pocket and wear it around your house (I know some of you use this while folding laundry, making the bed, etc). The red light is bright and I personally don’t love doing stuff while I’m wearing it — although it does not in any way damage or irritate your eyes if you do — so I typically use the time to sit still on my floor and listen to a meditation — an incredible gift for me. Every time I sit down for this routine, I think, “Jen, these ten minutes are just for you.” It’s such an incredible way to create a little margin around yourself in the morning. As for results: my skin looks much brighter, smoother, and clearer, and blemishes clear up much more quickly than before. I can’t quite describe the effect, but when I look the mirror, my skin looks lucid, as though the clouds have cleared. And let this be the ultimate proof point: Mr. Magpie wears the mask daily, too. He started skeptically and is now just as hooked as I am. Lastly, and I know there is ongoing current research about this, but I think it has a noticeable mood-boosting effect. I feel energized, centered, cared-for afterwards.
Final note on the mask: I used their series 1 mask (has just the red and near-infrared wavelengths) for almost three months straight, and then they sent me their series 2 mask (has red, near-infrared, and deep near-infrared) to try. I am in the early days of testing it; it’s supposed to be more powerful. The first thing I noticed, though, was that the series 2 mask was more comfortable. I like the new strap — it holds the mask in place more effectively — and it’s slightly bigger so it just sits more easily on my face. This is not to say that series 1 is uncomfortable, but that I did find myself adjusting it more regularly to stay on my face, especially if I was doing chores/errands/etc. You can use code JEN10 for 10% off!
03. Regular professional blowouts. I usually have my hair blown out 2x a month, but the other week, I thought: “Maybe I’ll book a standing blow out every Monday morning.” I don’t know what it is about having great hair, but it just makes me feel like a million bucks, and I can usually get it to last for several days by using this incredible dry shampoo (and the other tips/tricks in this post). I often book my blowouts through Glamsquad (my code is still valid: $20 off for new users – JENNIFERS; $15 off for repeat users — JENNIFERS15) and have been doing this every Monday for the past few weeks. If you’re local, I really like the stylist Dyanna W.
04. Exercise more generally. This has been such a commitment this year, and if I’m honest, sometimes I long for the ease of just dropping the kids and clipping right into writing. But exercise is of course the ultimate “high maintenance to be low maintenance” habit. I don’t need to itemize all its benefits here but, I find it touches upon and improves literally every other part of my life. It’s like putting ten cents in and getting a dollar back. It makes my skin brighter, it makes me feel better in my own body, it helps me sleep better, it decreases anxiety and gives me the peace of mind that I’m taking care of my future self (my OBGYN always urges me to do weight-bearing exercises at this phase in my life, saying it’s the single most effective way to improve bone density, which usually declines for women after 40), it boosts my mood, it makes every day tasks easier (i.e., lifting groceries, sitting at my desk all day, etc). Yada yada.
OK, your turn. What are the “high maintenance things” you do to be low maintenance later?
And has anyone else embraced the “Maine-or-Colorado-woman-in-the-summer” energy?
Post-Scripts and Shopping Notes.
+Above, wearing my beloved Varley sweatshirt cardigan (and matching joggers). Really liking the look of their shorts sets as we head into warmer weather. I love these and my Frank and Eileen sets for at home lounge, carpool, lowkey hanging on the weekends. Elite athleisure!
+Two other important parts of my wellness and creativity rituals glimpsed above: reading something inspiring (I have been obsessed with this specific book of Mary Oliver poetry for the last two months; I’ve read each poem multiple times, coming away with new meaning on each visit) and keeping track of what I’ve done with this simple pen and paper habit tracker.
+More “energy multipliers” here.
+The hair treatments I referenced above that I like: this rosemary-mint oil mixed with this Anablue oil for hear strength, growth, and shine; and this bonding treatment. I just ordered the K18 treatment to try instead of the Epres on many, many Magpie recs and will report back after use!
+Another hair treatment I love: this scalp scrub. It’s the prelude to a great hair day, and I always think my hair looks better longer when I’m doing it at home when I start with this. My hair is so fine; basically any product weighs it down and makes it look dirty before it actually is. This reallllly helps, because it’s like starting with a fresh-scrubbed canvas. It feels appropriate to mention this product here, after borrowing from GP’s “Maine woman” avatar, too — reminder that SHOOP15 gets you 15% off of all of their house label products, including Goop Beauty.
+When we were at the spa at Inn at Perry Cabin, they gave us these delightful heated neck wraps while we were in the relaxation area. I was obsessed. I think I’m going to order this to follow suit. (Or does anyone have a specific rec?)
+My aforementioned current skincare regimen, in the a.m.: gentle face wash, vitamin c, serum (I rotate between several; currently loving this), moisturizer with bronzing drops mixed in, SPF. In the evening, I melt the day off with this balm (20% off with JEN20), cleanse with the same morning face wash, and usually apply one of these exfoliating pads. Sometimes I alternate day on / day off with the pads depending on how sensitive my skin is feeling and how tired I am – ha. I have to confess a very high maintenance end to my day, and I’ve gotten Landon roped into the routine, too. This uber-luxe brand called By Nacht sent us their nighttime tincture lineup and we use it every single night: this serum, this cream. It’s crazy expensive but we’re both obsessed with it. It leaves your skin looking like a luminous, glazed donut. Is it life changing? I don’t know. Could it be replicated with other serums and creams? Probably. But there’s something unique about the combo that I’d never quite landed on with any other set.
Such an interesting concept — “being high maintenance to go low maintenance”
I’m generally low maintenance on a daily basis — no makeup most days except for my 2x a week in-office days (just blush, highlighter, and tinted lip balm) for WFH days, that’s what the Zoom filter is for (even then, I don’t blur too much as it just looks unrealistic)! The last time I ever having nails done was my wedding 14 years ago. But my absolute high maintenance ritual is a 90-minute massage every month. When I was pregnant 8 years ago, I treated myself to monthly prenatal massages and then after giving birth it fell by the wayside, and then the pandemic happened a couple years later. When the world “reopened” and vaccinations were out, I started getting them again but maybe quarterly? Then last fall I started to go monthly and it’s one of those things I never regret.
One thing I recognize about this high maintenance to be low maintenance concept (particularly with the investment in services that cost $) is that it signifies a certain degree of privilege… there are many people who go without or are low maintenance simply because there is no other choice. I’m grateful to have the resources, time, and co-parent and/or child care so I can go out to do my high-maintenance thing.
It took a worldwide pandemic for me to realize that it’s ok to go out with no makeup on. So that became my norm. And so “fixing my face” (aka wearing makeup) became a treat. I’ve grown back into thinking that it’s a lot of fun to play “dress up” again at age 60, I search for the best products I can afford and take the time to learn how to use them correctly. No one cares if you’re wearing makeup or not – except yourself.
I love this! So liberating!! xx
To be honest I’ve been thinking of all different permutations more than ever now that I’m 36. It feels tied up in the song Montezuma by Fleet Foxes and the fact that I’m now the same age my mother was when she had me. It’s always felt like a distinctive signpost for my womanhood and adulthood. So now that I feel properly like an adult woman in these ways and like I’m truly seeing the signs of ageing, I’m thinking about what my mum’s approach to this as well as the other older women in my life, past and present, and how they’ve modelled embodying as time passes. I think this is my version of the Maine/Colorado woman. With every passing year as I get to know myself better and go deeper spiritually — I’m agnostic so for me spirituality incorporates a range of faith principles — the more I feel this homecoming in myself that I hope radiates through me to others. This energy for me is about warmth, openness, brightness, self-expression (especially through embracing my personal style), and poise. I want to have this consistency in having integrity in being/doing based on the principle of being myself in all things.
Additionally at this point, I think the things I’m high-maintenance about have a flow on to feeling my physical/internal/mental/spiritual/creative best. Then it seems to make everything easier? It’s not a decision, it’s just something I do every single day.
So, for my internal/physical health, I always drink between 3-4 litres of water daily, try some form of movement daily including a minimum 10-minute walk, supplements, and eating vege-forward meals mostly at home. Along with these, getting at least 9 hours in bed each night which is like 8 hours of sleeping plus 1 hour of pre-bed reading. Of everything in my life, my nighttime wind-down is probably the most high-maintenance thing because I don’t mess with it and I can be a bit of a mall cop with my husband about the door staying closed once I’m in bed and in that wind-down/soft time phase lol.
With mental/spiritual health, this is probably my other high-maintenance area because nearly everything in my life is designed around this now, namely creativity, reading, and keeping screen time low. I actually feel the most low-maintenance in all other areas through making my mental/spiritual health high priority. I recently read A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle and it’s made me see that I need to be even more high-maintenance about spaciousness for my spiritual self: basically everything flows from this. This means more time journalling, more time in meditation, more time single-tasking, and more spaciousness in general for presence.
In closing, I’m so curious about the infrared mask and will look into ordering later in the year when we’re in the EU! Exciting! A random thing that feels high-maintenance right now is that I’m on day 45 of having 100 days without alcohol — it’s getting hard to do this now that the weather is so nice and I’m craving a white wine under the wisteria! That said, my skin is looking really good and I think this longer break might be a reset I aim for moving forward — prior I’d usually do at least one month per year sans alcohol — to give my body some time out.
These are such rich and gorgeous insights and I find myself deeply thinking about them, especially your comment that “I think the things I’m high-maintenance about have a flow on to feeling my physical/internal/mental/spiritual/creative best. Then it seems to make everything easier? It’s not a decision, it’s just something I do every single day.” This echoed something Kelly wrote, about only doing the things that feel good and bring her joy — nothing else, nothing that feels like stretch or strain. Really interesting to think through this prism.
I completely relate to your notes on aging as a kind of home-coming. Really digging into yourself, who you are, why you are. This is one of the best parts of getting older, IMO! It feels good.
I’m so intrigued by your 100 days sans alcohol! Lan and I have also been majorly cutting back and it makes us feel good in a lot of small ways. We find the part we miss most is the “ritual” aspect of it. For example, the happy hour – the way it bookends the day. And its typical accompaniment with other “wind down” and “relax” activities, like watching a show after dinner, or enjoying a long and leisurely meal, or sitting on the front stoop in the evening. Alcohol is not necessary to these things of course but it feels additive, or atmospheric? We’ve been trying to swap in shrubs, teas, and other NA beverages but it’s just not exactly the same. As with everything, it’s a give and take! We like the benefits of less alcohol, and we also enjoy the experience of drinking it. Curious to hear how you feel after 100!
xx
We do tea before bed now since we’re cutting back too! The thing that makes it a bit special: real china cups, being together for the brewing process since obviously it’s faster to drink tea than brew a cocktail, and interesting teas (Winners being Pukka Matin Citronnée and Yogi Chai). Also, if you’re beer people. Athletic Brewing’s Golden Dawn is excellent! You could make a shandy or a michelada with it no problem. We’ve also had some great sodas, I found a carbonated apple juice with elderflower here in France that feels pretty special. We also do grapefruit/rosemary infused water with some bitters in it. My problem with most NA beverages is they’re far too sweet. My dad actually has always given up beer for Lent since I was a kid and I think that reset influenced me
Love these ideas – Landon just find a brand of sparkling juices / sodas that markets itself as “very dry” (i.e., not sweet). Will report back tonight!!
xx
Jen, I love the brand Tost for mocktails; they have a “white” and a “rose” that are sparkling tea based, and not too sweet! Might be something to keep an eye out for in the store 🙂
Thank you! Will keep my eyes peeled!
My nana is so beautiful and never wears a stitch of makeup! Just moisturizer. And she is so dear to me.
I’m so connected to the high maintenance/low maintenance thing! My current standard is I will do things I enjoy and nothing I don’t. So all my rituals suit me to a T, there’s nothing I’m forcing or feeling bad about. I drink tons of water. I’m trying red light and radio frequency on my abdomen right now. Rather than lotion I do spray body oil (huile de souchet to prevent hair regrowth and topped with Caudalie body oil to cover the earthiness).
I get my hair cut every 2 months now, the most I ever had, but since I never style it and let it air dry I need a cut to do the work!
I do my own brows once a month with Tweezerman splinter tweezers.
If I have no time I leave the house barefaced with no products, and let a big hat and upf clothing block the sun and let my prescription Dior sunnies add some glamour. I always always wear perfume before I leave though (hi, scent enclave!). Most days I have tinted lip balm and a little sunscreen, a fancy look for me is brows done and red lipstick. My eyes blow up puffy and red at anything on them, so eyeshadow and mascara are out. I’ve debated getting my lashes tinted but I don’t know if I’d set off a horrendous reaction, have any Magpies dealt with something similar?
Currently about to try microneedling my abdomen for the first time, if I like it I’ll do more. Re needles: Any Magpies get acupuncture? I’m very curious and it’s on my list.
I went to a really ritzy spa in Monaco recently, and it was gorgeous, but also reaffirmed to me that my most important beauty secret is being happy with my body. They offered a full body scan and as much as it makes sense to verify results I personally need to keep my eyes off my weight and shape and things that don’t change overnight and instead focus on what makes me feel beautifu, calm, knowledgeable, whole, steady. I am the master of my own body and I value self-knowledge above everything. We’re trying some treatments on my abdomen but in my mind it’s functional since my tissue was very damaged by the umbilical hernias I sustained during my pregnancies and I’ve always had slow healing, thin tissue.
I like microdermabrasion on my forehead, but I don’t mind my peach fuzz! I read an article once about how Marilyn Monroe embraced the way her heavy peach fuzz caught the light and gave her a diffuse glow on film. Things I’m realistic about the fact I’ll never care much about: tooth whiteness, hair removal. If my legs are a little stubbly I either rock it or add fishnets or patterned tights, most people aren’t nearly as judgy as you’d think. I actually like when peoples’ teeth aren’t so white or straightened? Still well-cared for, but I like character. I’ve never done foundation since I can’t get over the sensory aspect. I’ve realized as much as I love having my nails done I don’t enjoy the process most of the time. I also used to go with friends and that’s really not a thing where I live.
Self care: I listen to trashy reality TV recaps while I do my red light mask. It’s so escapist and fun. I get to do it about twice a week and I agree with Jen that it boosts my mood! I read hundreds of books per year (thank you to the Magpie who recommended A Ghost In The Throat, it’s the best thing I’ve read this year). I’m teaching my toddler son about prayer and that’s been really special for both of us. My most important self care is my one hour weekly zoom French class, the benefit to time and cost is unreal. And I’m looking to join my friends’ workouts, just to hang with them. Two friends do yoga, one does aerobics, one lifts weights, and one swims in my pool with me. If they had barre3 over here I’d love to do it again. I like to think my vibe and kind heart make me attractive to folks.
LOVE these thoughts, especially the rubric of “doing things I enjoy and nothing I don’t.” Wow – what a great prism.
I admire the way you think so holistically and care-ingly about your body and your well-being. You’re in my mind often as I evaluate (often too harshly) my own reflection in the mirror!
xx
I think I was forced into it from a young age since I was so very ill for so long, I genuinely didn’t have the energy to focus on my appearance or much ability to change it. I wonder if some of the serenity my nana has found as she aged came from the same place! Perhaps bodily comfort and peace are coming.
Also, I sing both my kids “I Love My Body” by mother moon every day and all the mirror affirmations made me find joy in my reflection and absolute delight in how happy they are to see themselves.
Also, I hope all us Magpies help you feel beautiful!! Think of a friend who’s very dear to you, who you’re always happy to hear from, and realize there are people walking around thinking of you as fondly and admiringly. xx
That is so lovely!! 🙂 🙂
Kelly, this is everything. Second this to all the Magpie fam. This is the sincerity among likeminded souls I crave xx
I’m so inspired by all of this – especially the phrase “bodily comfort and peace are coming.” Wow!
Kelly, I can’t speak to the eyelash tinting directly however for how you’ve described your symptoms, I had similar reactions to products including my contacts when I’ve had both blepheritis and viral conjunctivitis. I don’t know if this is your issue, however I basically took a long break from makeup products — had to get rid of all my eye products in case there was contamination — and also worked on my stress levels as this was the main contributing factor. Again, I don’t know if this is the case for you but this is my two cents. You could also see if there’s a practitioner that uses natural dyes?
Re: acupuncture, I can absolutely vouch for how transformative this has been in my life. I’ve used it both for nervous system balancing and boosting blood flow when I’ve had ankle/neck injuries (in tandem with physiotherapy). In my experience, some physiotherapists offer microneedling as more of a physical therapy approach while acupuncturists tend to offer acupuncture along with other holistic therapies (I usually have it with hot cupping/massage) that for me tend to be more calming and supportive rather than part of physical rehab.
Great intel, Aoife, thank you!!
Hi Kelly
So glad you enjoyed A Ghost in the Throat. An amazing revelatory book. I have never read anything like it.
lol this may not be as much in the vein of being comfortable in your own skin as you’re referring to in this post, but I invest in eyelash extensions and permanent makeup eyebrows. They save me SO much time in the mornings getting ready, and I’m a million times more comfortable going out in just skincare/sunscreen. What can I say, I’m vain!
As for other investments, I’ve been making good use of a weighted vest, which I’ve read has really great benefits for perimenopausal women. I love it, strongly recommend.
The eyelash extensions!!! I treat myself to a set exactly once a year and I feel so gorgeous during that time — lol. :). Completely get it!
Been intrigued by the weighted vest. Big believer in weight-bearing exercises for women our age (courtesy of my OBGYN, who INSISTS on it). Which one did you get??
XX
Yes! Every women’s health expert I know emphasizes strength training at this stage of life. This is the one I got, it’s a relatively low-stakes investment:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07Q2Q5D8Q?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
Yay! Going to order one. Which weight did you get? I’m scared of going too high.
I have a 12lb and a 16lb. I got the 12 first, and I keep it at the office where I have a walking pad at my desk (I know this all sounds ridiculous lol). It was a little low impact so I got the 16 for longer outdoor walks. My husband also has one; we look like a hapless bomb squad when we’re out together. Anyway, I think 12 is a good starting point!
LOL “hapless squad” — thank you! Will order!!
Ps I don’t run with them, fyi. I would probably start lower if it is. Good luck! Would love to hear your thoughts after you try!!
I think, for me, being low maintenance is enabled by the knowledge that so much of how someone ages is the result of their genetics. (And how much sunscreen they wore in their youth.) Two things you cannot change! Knowing that I can only do so much about my appearance is freeing to me. Moisturizer + prescription retinoid every other day + sunscreen, and I leave the rest to god.
Love the clarity of thought (and simplicity of the resulting formula)!! Goals. xx
I like that, the Maine or CO woman in the summer energy. As a CO woman/native I would say YES. In regards to my skin care, it is rare for me to put in makeup and most often just do the general maintenance/hygiene of washing and applying cream and toner as a base. Perhaps it’s because my Mom always puts in makeup and feels she needs it to feel pretty. I guess I feel pretty without it. Yet I’m always struck my comments other women and men say to me as I look way too long for this or that. I guess I look how I feel, a beautiful young woman who appears to have it all together yet is crumbling on the inside. But I don’t need the masks of layers of makeup or rituals of haircare. But I do them because of how they make me feel, relaxed. Calm. And ready for whatever comes my way.
I love the idea of self-care as a pathway to calm / readiness. Beautiful!!