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Alone
by Jack Gilbert
I never thought Michiko would come back
after she died. But if she did, I knew
it would be as a lady in a long white dress.
It is strange that she has returned
as somebody’s dalmatian. I meet
the man walking her on a leash
almost every week. He says good morning
and I stoop down to calm her. He said
once that she was never like that with
other people. Sometimes she is tethered
on their lawn when I go by. If nobody
is around, I sit on the grass. When she
finally quiets, she puts her head in my lap
and we watch each other’s eyes as I whisper
in her soft ears. She cares nothing about
the mystery. She likes it best when
I touch her head and tell her small
things about my days and our friends.
That makes her happy the way it always did.
*********
This poem landed like an arrow. I thought of how I occasionally chase the shadows of loved ones — living and deceased — in the gestures of others. How sometimes I will observe two sisters, crowns touching, laughing together on a couch and cast out for my own. How one time I saw a girl walking in Georgetown and knew it wasn’t Elizabeth but caught a glimpse of her anyway. How there was a girl in my class at Visitation whom I’d never met before, but who reminded me so much of a childhood friend that I always felt an undue intimacy with her: found myself defending her, going out of my way to show her kindness. How I see my mother in myself when I am placing a cool hand on my daughter’s forehead: echoes of the people we love, reverberating back to us.
Post-Scripts.
+I am a product of long corridors.
+Things I have learned from my mother.
Shopping Break.
+Cute phone case, spotted on/discovered by Liz Adams!
+Just ordered these affordable padded woven headbands for myself to pair with my spring wardrobe! So pretty with florals or pastel stripes, like this or this. (Lowkey love Jonathan Simkhai — his dresses always fit like a dream and make me feel so elegant! The midi length one I linked reminds me a bit of Carolina Herrera.)
+A great everyday solid-colored dress, currently around $30. Love it in the white and taupe.
+Love this printed blouse for spring, and this one too!
+Super fun cardigan — under $50!
+This happy caftan is on super sale! Buy now and your summer self will be thrilled. Perfect with the Hunza G suit I’m wearing here!
+Sweet everyday dress for a little love.
+Trying this tinted lip balm!
+Pretty and versatile everyday dress. More great everyday dresses here.
Wow – that really got me. Coming up on the two year anniversary of my dad’s passing and some things just suddenly sweep you off of your feet. Thank you for sharing, I will be keeping that one!
XO
Hi Jenn – I am so sorry for your loss. Grief is nonlinear that way, isn’t it? I’m hopeful these words were reassuring for you. xx