In seventh grade, I had an English teacher named Mr. Caulfield. He was tall, dark, handsome, and most winningly — a literary type who took interest in my green attempts at writing. He drove a black Ford Bronco and had just graduated from college, where he’d written and self-published a slim tome of poetry that I recently spent a good hour searching for in the little trunks of personal memorabilia I keep. (No luck.) I remember reading J.D. Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye around that time — maybe a year or two later — and pinning elements of Holden Caulfield to him, the name symmetry only one factor in my enamored imaginings. Mr. Caulfield kept his nails very short and neat, wore Ralph Lauren button-downs, kept New Yorkers rolled up in the back pocket of his pants, and had a nervous habit of twiddling his clear Bic pen between his fingers. He told me one afternoon: “This is really good work, Jennifer,” leafing through a short story I’d written. Work! The word was magic. I saw myself differently immediately: no longer a kid pecking out stories at a keyboard, but a skilled tradesperson, with a lovely gap between herself and her output. Work! Really good work! Slowly, he would become a filter, an archetype; I find I still write parts of him into my male characters. (The male protagonist of one of the pieces I’m working on is named John Philip Caulfield, and, after a breakup with the heroine: “Weeks passed in which J.P. pretended to forget about Lee. He spent long stretches at the cabin, on temporary sabbatical from work. He would fish peacefully in the mornings and sulk in the afternoons, reading citric Salinger stories to keep himself alive.” There is so much of my seventh grade English teacher in this; his fingerprints are everywhere.) Most of Mr. Caulfield’s appeal stemmed from the fact he made me feel seen for my low-flame, fledgling talent with the written word, and he pledged to help cultivate it. Towards the end of that year, he encouraged me to submit my work to various competitions, two of which I won, and one of which — much to my delight and horror — required me to read my own poem aloud into a microphone in front of an audience of at least 70,000 people. (I’m kidding; it was probably 25, and most were there to photograph their own children, but I felt as though I was addressing the masses.) He was in attendance in the audience, and it was a Saturday morning. At the time, I took this neutrally, if I noticed the kindness at all. I think back now and see mainly the shape of his generosity. How kind of him to notice; how thoughtful of him to draw me out. And a 22 year old willingly ceding a Saturday morning to listen to a twelve year old stammer through her inept verses? That is an act of goodness.
I have been thinking a lot about the squiggly path that brought me here, to this unreal moment in which a book I’ve written has passed through multiple rounds of edits and copy-edits with real, live, trained editors and is now more or less out of my hands, and hopefully landing in yours come May of this upcoming year. By what mix of grace, happenstance, and hard work did this happen? I keep plucking at the threads, looking at the fabric this way and that, and mainly I notice a gorgeous pattern of kindness raising like braille beneath my rememberings. I see this rich motif of people going out of their way for me, giving me a foothold, tossing a “this is really great work” over their shoulders — as if it were nothing at all! — even when such encouragements landed like lifelines. I doubt Mr. Caulfield remembers me; he may not remember that one year he taught parochial school English at all. (My Internet sleuthing has led me to believe he went into the law shortly after.) But the impression his kind nurturing had on me…! I am so grateful for him, and for every early patron who read my treacly prose and said: “Keep going.”
I have been looking for ways to pay this forward, and would love to spotlight a Magpie creative who is doing something interesting in her own corner of the world. This could be a small business, poetry, visual arts, some kind of community work — whatever it is! Send me a note a jennifer@magpiebyjenshoop.com and let me know about it. I’d love to showcase one of you in the coming weeks! My way of saying: “This is really good work. Keep going.”
Post-Scripts.
Image via.
+No one is paying as much attention to you life as you are, so you might as well —
+Focus and the fibers of motherhood.
Shopping Break.
+Big J. Crew fall drop yesterday! My obsessions: these silk scarf print pants in either pattern, these iconic striped rollnecks (prep is back baby), flared twill pants, and a perfect suede boot.
+UGH I can’t unsee Frame’s leather palazzos…
+Perfect for a fall dinner out, and perfect for a fall date night!
+It’s the season of the bandana / scarf / foulard! A few I love: here, here, here. I have been layering over tees/sweatshirts, tying around my bag, tucking around the collar beneath a blazer!
+Ordered this chocolate heart pendant ($40) after a Magpie wrote to me about it! Twinning! I have this necklace from the same brand in a more summery palette but how cute in the woods/chocolates for fall?
+Universally flattering shirtdress silhouette in a great fall orange hue for family portraits. A great solid to work with if your kids are wearing prints. (I’d pair with brown or tan suede accents and gold jewelry, and maybe this spectacular scarf?! I can’t stop thinking about it…love the idea of it with just a white tee and jeans…)
+Lil volume trick for fellow volume-challenged hair girls: after blow-drying and air-wrapping my hair (this remains my greatest acquisition in the past two years), I take the front portion of my hair (like what your bangs would be if they were cut short) and roll just that section up onto the top of my head with one of these, and clip in place with these. It really helps give you a little volume at the top of your hair, and makes a huge difference. I also use this spray at the crown of my head (like the underside) — I find if you use more than one or two sprays, it gets too heavy for my hair, but just a light spritz and I notice a world of difference.
+Loving cherry red this fall – so chic mixed in with brown! How cute is this cheerful Dudley Stephens fleece?
+I love a polo sweater. This one looks gorgeous. Tuck into cords or dark wash denim.
+Things I love from Alex Mill’s latest collection: this perfect gray sweater and their Chiltern jacket is back in a rainbow of fall colors.
+It’s very child-of-the-90s of me, but I love Landon in a flannel overshirt, and now he owns this one.
+My neighbor’s children were breaking in their Halloween costumes in our cul de sac this past week — it made me realize it’s time to figure all that out! Burts Bees has some REALLY cute and well-priced Halloween jammies (don’t you love the whimsical trick-or-treating design?!), and they gave us a 30% off code — JEN30 — meaning they’re like $15/pop. I did order a couple of fun tabletop/paper products for Halloween from here this week. I got this table runner, these napkins (!), and a few other goodies.
+Another “look ahead” find: Northern Classics just launched the cutest winter collection. We love their ski bibs, and how fab is this blockprint pair (with the matching gloves?!). I currently have two pairs of the blue in my cart — maybe a bit easier to match with different outerwear (my kids have Reima ski jackets) and also unisex for hand-me-down purposes.
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