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+PAST VERSIONS OF US: Loved the image of past versions of us gathering for coffee from a poem by Jennae Cecelia. Do you think of yourself as one long, linear arc or a sequence of separate yous that you’ve shed over time, exoskeleton style? Interesting to contemplate. I have a sense there’s more continuity in me than I’d like to imagine, but I love the vision of former selves gathering to cheer me on. It reminded me of the concept that we’re always mothering future versions of ourselves.
+IS YOUR STYLE SHIFTING? Related to the above musing: I’ve felt this summer a change in my style sensibility. For one thing, I’ve always been A Dress Girl, but this summer, I’ve worn a lot more separates and, specifically, shorts and pants. For another, I almost couldn’t bring myself to wear the fleet of boldly patterned caftans I’ve favored over the past few summers — they just never felt like what I wanted to wear? I’d go into my closet, which is packed with colorful sundresses, and I’d come out with a button down and boxer shorts, or a Sold Out tee and a midi skirt. I find myself pinning and liking images like the one below (via here) on Instagram. I can’t tell if this is an age thing (just turned 40), or an ambient style thing (ruffles, puffed sleeves feel out), or just one of those “you’re in evolution” moments. I came across this essay from Substacker Harling Ross Anton (via Sarah, conduit of so much great retail intel) and she explores the same subject, and how to, logistically, respond to it. Has this happened to you? How have you responded?
(And if you’re in the same boat and looking admiringly at the photos below, you might consider this Jenni Kayne skirt, this watch, this tuxedo-front button down, a simple sandal like this, and this polished tee.)
+CARO CHAMBERS: The Internet’s best friend, Caro Chambers, just released her cookbook (“What to Cook When You Don’t Feel Like Cooking”) this week, and there’s been a big and deserved buzz. It’s been such a joy to watch her share her experience via Instagram — Good Morning America, lots of interviews and podcasts — as she’s been gleefully pinching herself, excitedly and nervously jumping into the arena, and just generally making you want to cheer for her. I went to see her speak at Lincoln Theater with a girlfriend this week! (At time of writing this, I’ve not yet been, but will share details after!). One thing I try to do — support authors I love by attending any local speaking events, book launches, etc!
+GENERATIONAL DIVIDE: I laughed out loud at this video poking fun at how much more sophisticated Gen Z-ers are than we were a teens. I had to send it to a few of my high school girlfriends — it triggered immediate flashbacks to us recording a flailing, awkward video to Mariah Carey’s “Heartbreaker” as teens. The younger generations have learned how to curate and present themselves so much earlier…? Adjacent: a Magpie reader recently commented about the phenomenon of tweens getting into beauty/skincare, and not just Bonne Belle Lip Smackers and Limited Too glitter goop — we’re talking Drunk Elephant masks and serums! I’m not sure what to make of that. It feels too young. I also think all generations think the ones following are maturing much earlier than they did, but is that really the case? Sometimes I look at photos of my grandparents and their generation and think they looked so mature at the age of 16 — and they probably were. They had jobs, and had left their mother countries for America, and entire life stories under their belts. I don’t know – interesting to contemplate.
+EYEING + BUYING: You know I’m all in on the colored denim trend. I have my fix with these VB Taylors, but this lighter-wash SLVRLAKEs would be a good alternate pick. Everything below is high on my radar. Chic pieces for this transitional time.
EMME PARSONS SANDALS (SELECT COLORS ON SALE!) // VB TOP // SLVRLAKE WIDE LEGS // A GREAT GENTLE AND INEXPENSIVE CLEANSER // RAIN COATS FOR THE KIDS (A GREAT VALUE – WE’VE BOUGHT SEVERAL OVER THE YEARS) // MARGAUX BALLETS IN THE COLOR OF THE SEASON
+LET PEOPLE BE WRONG ABOUT YOU: A Magpie wrote to me last week about navigating criticism and nay-saying as she’s getting her business off the ground. I feel like I could talk forever about this subject, but a few things that float to the top of my mind: 1) Think of feedback (good and bad) as data. That’s one data point you need to consider and weigh against other inputs, voices, instincts. 2) Remember that you are in the arena, and they (usually) are not. Put on your armor, keep a calm and smooth countenance, and unpack it privately. 3) A lot of people cope by projecting — if you think of it this way, you can often find a way to not take the criticism personally. Doesn’t excuse the speaker, by the way — it just gives you leeway to distance yourself from what they’ve said. 4) You cannot control the actions or comments of others — but you can control how you respond. That’s your power. 5) If it’s someone who doesn’t know you or your business well, ask yourself: “why would I accept directions from someone who has no idea where I’m headed?” 6) Just keeping swimming, just keep swimming. 7) Listen to Brandi Carlile’s “The Joke” — wowza. Promise it will make you feel better. (“Let ’em laugh while they can
/ Let ’em spin, let ’em scatter in the wind / I have been to the movies, I’ve seen how it ends / And the joke’s on them.”) You might also re-read Teddy Roosevelt’s thoughts on being in the arena — “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood.” Doesn’t that send a shiver straight down your spine?! You got this, girl! You’re in the arena!
But the big through-line is to keep your head down and keep going. Let people be wrong about you. Jerry Seinfeld riffed on this theme in this interview. Don’t worry about anything but getting better at what you want to do. I’m cheering you on, whether you are also starting a business, trying your hand at something new, or just overwhelmed by lots of feedback (happens a lot as a mom!). Keep going; let them be wrong!
+BESTSELLERS: All things denim this week! This denim maxi is back at the top of the list! I totally get it, especially in re: my point about my style shifting. This is more of the silhouette I’m into when it comes to dresses: simple, unfussy. You can see me in it here! Also popular this week: lots of jeans for fall! So many of you bought these Ayrs and these espresso-colored Gap jeans!
01. DENIM MAXI // 02. AYR’S BEST-SELLING JEANS (I HAVE A PAIR EN ROUTE TO ME TOO) // 03. MADEWELL DARTED BARREL JEANS // 04. GAP ESPRESSO STRAIGHT-LEG DENIM // 05. BEST MASCARA EVER (AND IT’S $20!) // 06. LUCIEN EARRINGS (AVAIL FOR PREORDER! — THE BEST EVERYDAY EARRINGS) // 07. GAP DENIM DRESS // 08. FAVORITE DAUGHTER DRESS (SUPER ELEGANT – FITS LIKE A DREAM) // 09. DENIM CROPPED JACKET // 10. FAV STRIPED TOP // 11. THE PLANNER THAT KEEPS MY LIFE IN ORDER // 12. GAP UTILITY SHIRT
I really enjoyed that poem! It reminded me of the themes in one of my favourite poems, by Derek Walcott.
Love After Love
The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
LOVE this. I remember reading it for the first time as a second year in college and not really “getting it.” Now I see its wisdom!
xx