At the end of some internet rabbit hole I tumbled down this week, I found myself reading a “list of educational attainments” for six and twelve year olds written by a home school parent. I was less interested in the substance of those lists (and am therefore not linking) — or rather, I’m less interested in debating here the merits of those lists (and am therefore not linking) — but I liked the concept of “a list of attainments” as a general prompt. I found myself immediately drawing up a few different lists and tucking items into their respective buckets over the course of the week.
For example, what might go on “a list of attainments for the 2026 year” for our family? What might belong to “a list of attainments for our children by the age of 10”? What would you add to “a list of attainments for me by the age of 50”?
I’m now keeping a few of these as open lists in my notes app, with these first few rolling off the pen easily:
List of Attainments for the Shoops in 2026
+To take our first international trip as a family;
+To implement and uphold a realistic set of chores and rewards;
+To attend Mass every Sunday unless ailment or travel impedes;
+To go on at least four proper family hikes (not just neighborhood walkabouts);
+To bring a dog into our family
It was hard for me to write these without veering into the unquantifiable; I am such a English major. But the constraint here: these attainments must be measurable in some way. And so I had to delete my aspirational entries: “to speak with kindness to one another, even when frustrated,” “to spend less time tidying and more time living,” etc.
List of Attainments for a 10-Year-Old in the Shoop Family
+To identify the commonplace birds, flowers, trees, and animals in our yard by name and in some cases by call;
+To look adults in the eye when speaking with them;*
+To demonstrate confidence in math and writing;**
+To practice resilience in small arts, like game playing, throwing the ball outside, at-home science and cooking projects;
+To understand the basic economics of running a business;
+To eat adventurously, even if in small increments (i.e., be willing to try at least one bite of something new when presented with the opportunity);
+To have received the sacraments of First Penance and Communion, and to recite by heart the major prayers and parts of the Mass;
+To practice one sport and one instrument with dedication.
I recognize this second list is less measurable than the first. (How do we measure confidence in math, resilience in games?). I need to put some thought into this; I’m sure there are diagnostics. But I like these lists as a north star in the coming months and years.
What would go on yours? What other “lists of attainments” might be interesting to keep in your notes app?
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*This has been a big effort of ours for years. Before we decamp on any party, activity, gathering, play-date, we run through the same list of reminders, making sure the children know the hosts’ names, can recite “Mr. and Mrs. Allen” without stumbling, have some possible conversation starters in mind (i.e., “how are you doing?”, “did you get your pumpkins yet?”), remember to look people in the eye and speak in a proud voice. I had to laugh recently: we stopped by our friends’ home last weekend, and clearly our little speech-making landed heavily with my son on that particular day, because my friend opened the door, and Hill said, all in one big breath, before we were even through the door: “Hi Mr. Austria, how are you, how is your weekend going?” all in one big breath. It was so cute; my friend paused and said: “Wow, thanks for asking –” and we were off to the races.
**I was devastated when my daughter told us earlier this year, “I’m bad at math.” Absolutely devastated! We have worked so fastidiously to instill the opposite…! We have work to do here.
Sunday Shopping.
+Cozy new sheets for the season (pair with this duvet and this bed blanket and put on a cozy fall movie).
+The Rothy’s clog sale ends tomorrow. Trust me, your puppies will be happy in these comfy clogs while you’re going through all the fall and holiday ministrations around your home — cooking! running to get the mail! dropping kids! I just discovered they have kids sizes, too…
+I just wrote about jeans yesterday, but someone was just telling me these Apiece Apart jeans are great for petites. In my cart. Love the wash! Imagine styling with this cropped jacket and this cool girl belt.
+New HHH holiday! This embellished collar dress is so fun, and this bow-front style (reminiscent of Valentino) has already sold through in some sizes. While we’re talking holiday: this feather trim Cara Cara is extra in the best way.
+These everyday drop earrings are back available for pre-order. I have been wearing them around the clock. They are so delicate and chic and they weigh nothing. Somehow work with cocktail dresses or jeans and a tee. OBSESSED. A great under $200 buy for the season.
+Cool mom carpool outfit: statement fleece, espresso brown leggings, slip-on sneaks.
+Could not be more obsessed with this $29 body cream. OMG. Are you a neroli fan?! I love this smell — to me, it’s what cashmere would smell like if it were made into a scent. It’s warm, it’s cozy, it’s soft, it cocoons. I can’t stop smelling myself when I apply this lotion! OBSESSED.
FLANNEL SHEETS // ROTHY’S CLOGS // RED COCKTAIL DRESS // FEATHER TRIM CARA CARA DRESS // ISABEL MARANT FLEECE // VARLEY LEGGINGS // DOLCE VITA SLIP ON SNEAKERS // ANINE BING JACKET // APIECE APART JEANS // DORSEY EARRINGS // CYKLAR NEROLI CREAM // AUREUM BELT
OBSESSED WITH THIS $29 BODY CREAM
P.S. Day-Early Access to the Credo Beauty Sale.
Beauty destination Credo is offering us day-early access to their annual 20% off sale. You can shop today only with code JENSHOOP2025 — fab, as some of their bestsellers do sell through during this promotion.
I really love their thoughtfully curated “sets,” featuring products from different brands bundled together, like this “glossy romance lip kit,” this “date night essentials” set, and this “fall and lip trio.” They’ve done all the heavy lifting of picking the best products in the best colors! I used the promotion to get more of this contouring stick (really really good — it’s the first contouring stick I ever used that I could actually get to work for me; I went through an entire tube!), my must-have foundation stick (instant reorder for me), and this gorgeous lipstick. If you’re a fan of Westman, this is the time to stock up; I’ve never seen this brand discounted more deeply.
Also, can I please put a plug for a few FAV beauty products at great prices: this curling mascara (rivals mascaras that are 2x the price), this “cloud mascara” I mentioned yesterday that I’ve been wearing for a few weeks now (major lengthening), and this glides-on-like-velvet lip liner (I like color desert rose). I wasn’t a lip liner gal til I discovered this Soshe and now I wear it almost every day.
KOSAS AIRBROW PENCIL // WESTMAN FOUNDATION // KOSAS LIPSTICK // TOWER28 MASCARA // SOSHE LIP LINER // BEST WEIGHTLESS DETANGLER // MY SISTER SWEARS BY THIS NAIL TREATMENT // WESTMAN COUNTOUR STICK
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Hi Jen!
Your mention of your daughter’s relationship to math prompted this comment; I’m a teacher, and have a few recommendations for you!
The first is to read the book What’s Math Got to Do With It? by Jo Boaler. It is a great look at where math education goes wrong, particularly for girls, and ways to get things back on track. I also found some insight into my own relationship with math when I read it for work; maybe you will, too? It helped me evaluate a lot about my language (always saying that I wasn’t good at math, that math is hard but useful, not focusing on how math is interesting, exciting, and about problem solving).
The second is to grab The Book of Think by Marilyn Burns for you and your daughter, which is full of fantastic problems to solve that are not obviously “math” problems (i.e. problems that are less about equations, but still about creative problem solving), and are often fun and interesting challenges for not just the child but the whole family!
The final recommendation is to have a math problem of the day for your household, which doesn’t always have to involve numbers, and then chat about how each person solved the problem (especially if everyone solved it differently). During this time, you or your husband (particularly your husband, because as I recall he is an engineer, so likely coded in your family as “good at math”) might choose to purposefully but not obviously arrive at the wrong answer and then calmly explain how your thinking got there, and what you need to change in your thinking to get to the right answer. This way, you model attempt, failure, self-evaluation, and re-attempt, and help the kids feel comfortable doing the same. It can help show kids that it’s not just about getting the ‘right’ answer, which is a binary of success/failure, it’s about our patterns of thought and ability to explain our thinking, as well as increasing awareness of many different ways to arrive at that right answer.
Happy math-ing!
Jennie! Thank you so much for these thoughtful suggestions and titles! I so appreciate your time in putting this together for me. I love these ideas. Thank you!!
xx
List of Attainments for a 5 year old in the G***** family (I have a nearly 4yo and nearly 2yo so slightly stretched what we work on with the big one)
To recognize consent while playing rough, look at body language, ask for buy in, and take a pause if someone’s uncomfortable. (Many playmates don’t speak English well so it’s on my kid to proactively notice).
To apologize Daniel Tiger style: “Saying I’m sorry is the first step; then, how can I help?” He’s gotten really good at figuring out which kids need space, or a toy to cheer them, or to have someone go get their grown up or their water bottle. I tell him all the time « you’re the type of kid who makes it right. »
To notice what needs done in a room to reset it to clean, or to add a missing item to a grocery list. Be able to follow a grocery list at the store.
To use politesse in every appropriate situation (Au revoir, Merci when leaving the bus, greeting the proprietor of any space you enter or exit, SVP and responding to questions they are asked directly including Ça va?, taking off hat in a holy space, looking people in the eye when we say Bonjour, and when in doubt, mimicking mom and dad). To be able to order their meal in a restaurant politely. To say thank you to whoever cooked your meal.
To ask someone’s name if you don’t know it, and to try to fix it in your mind to use when you next see them. (We all review names on the way to the party or play date too, and things to talk about! Not just the kids, my husband and I do it. Devastatingly, I got an acquaintance’s name noticeably wrong last weekend and it’s been haunting us!)
To (within our small city) know which general direction our home is from anywhere, and orient yourself accordingly.
*Je joue, je range* IE when we finish playing we complete the task by putting the thing back. It’s cool if this is an 80% thing.
To pitch in with chores *without being asked* when you see someone start doing them, and to appropriately sort laundry, put away silverware, wipe surfaces, tidy toys to the correct bins.
To be able to sit through Mass (standing at the right times obvi) and glimpse the awe of the sacred. To know a few key bible stories in the Old Testament, more detail of the life of Jesus (we have an illustrated Rosary guide from Catholic family crate and jump off of the mysteries), and the Lord’s Prayer, Glory Be and Hail Mary.
To read for pleasure (audiobooks and parent-read stories included).
To recite a poem by heart.
To try to solve a problem yourself. To be able to grind at something you’re not good at yet. To know where to look for reliable answers to a question.
To be able to entertain yourself discreetly when waiting 5-10 minutes.
Gorgeous, all! You made me think with more care about the specifics of being a member of our household, and what we expect. We talk about these all the time but I’d never tallied them up as you did. Thanks for the inspiration!
I would not have thought to do it without your provocation!! We’re talking nearly every day about what we’re aiming towards but the tiny steps to get there are another conversation entirely.
Realizing now almost all our goals are related to noticing! Self awareness, mental load, wayfinding, emotional and situational intelligence, curiosity, observation, problem solving.
Beautiful, beautiful —
The conversation is the first step, you know? Just naming the things!
Ooo thanks for the Credo Code! Stoked up on all my Westman!
Yay!!