The Magpie Diary: 5.25.2025.

Almost halfway through the year, and what have I learned? What have been the 2025 themes? What am I working on? Some through-lines:

+That I must work to take my own joy and preferences seriously. At 40, I’m trying to lean into what I like and avoid what I don’t. This has meant reading a lot more romance books (especially at night, when I can’t sleep). It has also meant reminding myself that I don’t need to flutteringly fill in the blanks in every conversation or pretend to like foods that don’t do it for me. (I am just not a bean lover. I can’t explain it – texture? Most of the time not seasoned enough? For years I forced them down. But I can have opinions! And I can avoid the beans if I want to! I eat everything else!)

+That the main muscle I exercise when running is my mind. I mean this both from a process and result standpoint. Process: whenever I want to stop running / feel gassed / etc, it’s usually my determination (all mental!) that gets us over the hump. Result: I run more for mental wellness than fitness, and boy does it pay handsomely. Running requires such discipline. I almost never want to run, and I almost always count down the minutes until it’s over, and the will this requires is training me to be forbearing in other areas of my life, too. I think my dedication to daily writing is in part shaped, or fortified, by my running habit.

+That the body is bad at keeping secrets. So I really must take good care of myself; the truth will out–!

+That my children often need less needling and more space to explore and become themselves. Let them be those backyard blackberry thickets! Let them make their silly jokes, and run around in mismatched pajamas in the yard, and wear their exuberance. They are only this-young today. I am specifically working on not expediting my son. He often tells me: “Mama, you’re rushing me!” He is prone to dilly-dallying and distraction, but then I think of Uncle Buck: “I don’t think I want to know a six-year-old who isn’t a dreamer or a silly heart.” I’m trying to be more creative about the morning bottleneck with him — laying out his clothes in advance, hanging out upstairs with him while he’s readying himself not so much to verbally remind him to get things done, but to help if he’s stuck or can’t get the toothpaste out or looking for a sock so he doesn’t just give up and sit on the floor of his room playing (as he is wont to do). I’m also trying to say nothing at all when he’s eaten three bites of dinner in thirty minutes. It is such an exercise in patience. But the older I get, the more I think that the softest form of love is waiting. Waiting for someone to be ready, waiting for someone to finish, waiting for someone to come around. Love hangs fires. Love twiddles its thumbs. It does not run according to its own clockwork.

+That I only have today because of my younger self. I have been looking so tenderly upon the younger versions of myself. I keep a framed photo of myself at five on my desk, and I keep looking at her and thinking: “Girl, look how far we’ve come. Thank you.” Thanks for all the early and terrible drafts, the sleepless nights, the stress and anxiety, the hair-brained ideas. Thanks for trusting your gut. Thanks for running against the grain. Thanks for doing it your way. Thanks for all the reading, too. I have been sitting in my quiet studio writing my book and I when I come up for air, and look around, and realize what I’ve been doing all morning, I think: “Oh my God: this, right now, is what you’ve always dreamed of.”

+That writing is hard work. I’ve always known this, but this particularly intense time of writing my book has reminded me, in William Zinsser’s words, that “a clear sentence is no accident.” If I could anthropomorphize a clear sentence, it would be wearing steel-toed boots and a lot of sweat.

+That to be creative you must be a little delusional. Here is the truth: most of the time, I write and think I’m middling or terrible. One tenth of the time I think I’m pretty good. And then once every now and then I think: “Oh my God, that is beautiful.” But to be consistently creative, you have to remind yourself of the “Oh my God, that’s beautiful” moments, and trust they will come. If you don’t have that small nugget of buoying self-belief, you will never finish anything. I feel this acutely at this moment, when my self-assessments as a writer seem to be running on a broken barometer. One day I hate everything I write; the next, I look back at what I’ve put on the page and think, “Okay, okay, this is something!” I keep reminding myself to exercise the “Oh my God, that is beautiful” delusion.

There are other weighty things in chrysalis. Lessons borne of surviving a painful relationship, ambitions for my writing career, the wilderness of change. But these are less legible to me at the moment. I trust their meanings will make themselves known in good time. Nothing leaves us until it has taught us what we need to know.

Onward!

Sunday Shopping.

Merit’s new “Uniform” tinted SPF launched this week and I got my hands on a tube and I LOVE IT. There are several great products in this product category — I also like YSE, Iris and Romeo Weekend Skin, and RMS SuperSerum (although the RMS is a little bit of a different beast / in its own category) — but I am loving this one because it provides a little more coverage than the others. It’s sort of like a light foundation, but wears like lotion. Great for when you need a little extra oomph.

Also, another shout out for Buck Mason’s $40 pima boxy tee. I find myself reaching for this all the time. It is divinely soft (divinely), featherweight (ideal for layering and tucking) and has a sweet, feminine, shrunken boxy fit. I love love love it. I also adore and wear my SoldOut NYC ones a lot (still) but I find I prefer them when I’m tucking into a skirt / jeans on its own (has a more dramatic/pronounced shape) versus layering beneath something else.

If you, like me, can’t quite bring yourself to splurge on the cult-following $338 taffeta Donni gingham pants, try these from Wayf! Different material but similar ethos — and $75. But those Donni pants…eek! Just made available again for pre-order. The fit is so good…tempted. (See below.)

And for my scent enclave girlies: Crown Affair just did a collab with D.S. & Durga — a special edition scent of Crown Affair’s incredible leave-in conditioner. This product is absolutely incredible. I use it when my hair is feeling dry or when I go to bed with wet hair. It leaves hair so soft and tangle-free.

RATTAN STRING LIGHTS // MY FAVORITE FANCY HAND CREAM (10% OFF – I KEEP IT ON MY NIGHTSTAND!) // THE BEST PIMA COTTON TEE // BEADED NECKLACES // EVERLANE TEE DRESS (25% off) // PRADA SANDALS // AYR EARLY MORNING TEE (ON SALE!!!) // MERIT UNIFORM TINTED SPF // GINGHAM PANTS // CROWN AFFAIR X D.S. & DURGA LEAVE-IN CONDITIONER

And one last little thought on styling that Everlane tee dress. This popped into my head when one of you commented on how much you love to wear tee dresses during drop off or any moment where you’re sort of between sessions. It inspired me to throw on this striped one this week during one of those windows, and also made me contemplate adding this Everlane (25% off) to my closet. Anyway, some pointed notes on how I’d style a t-dress, which can make me feel either schlubby / shapeless or like a little child if I’m not mindful about styling. I like to wear with a sweater or long sleeved tee to give the shape some definition and contrast — I wear around my waist or shoulders. The Ayr Early morning tee is perfect for this. Then I make it feel fresh by pairing with a trend-conscious sandal — a jelly would be great here, or anything raffia or slightly clunky. These make the look feel contemporary and considered. Last steps: elevate with a luxe hand bag and everyday gold jewelry. And then add some little whimsy to it — like this $10 bag charm or a juicy red lip.

AYR EARLY MORNING TEE // EVERLANE TEE DRESS // PRADA SANDALS // JANE WIN COIN PENDANT // CUYANA PALOMA BAG // BAG CHARM // OUTSET LIP OASIS

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links above, I may receive compensation.