One of the motifs I have been fascinated by in Wuthering Heights: the treatment of illness, the connection between mind and body in those conversations, the notion of a frail (female) constitution. I am thinking of Catherine’s injured foot, and then her pregnancy-disguised-as-convalescence. I am thinking, too, of the scene in which Mrs. Dean begs Heathcliff to provide a lady’s maid for his new wife, Isabella, the implication being that she is too tender a petal to care for herself. What is Bronte saying about female fragility in the novel, especially set against the brute outdoorsiness of Heathcliff? Is it a conceit? A commentary on the medical system? A plot convenience? Etc?
The theme drew to mind something startling from my youth — an elementary school situation where a schoolmate was receiving what we all considered exceptional treatment from our teacher. The dynamic was tricky: the girl wasn’t particularly amicable, often insisting she go first, complaining when she couldn’t be pitcher in kickball, denying she’d been tapped in tag, and worst still to my grade-school mind, wholly ignorant of the teacher’s favor. Could she not see the path tamped down before her? The way she seemed to get her way without trying? In the schoolyard justice system, these offenses were mighty. Still. I remember the teacher at some point dressing down a few children in the class for excluding her, explaining that the girl “was not built for this.” I was perplexed by the phrase; I could not understand what that meant about the rest of the class. Was I “built” for hardship? I struggled with the implication; I felt the arrows, too, but had no guardian to fend them off. What did it mean?
She was not built for this (observed by my ten-year-old self)
Oh, you mean — the hard word, the hurt feeling? (The regular undulations of living in this world?) Or are we echoing an ancient time, cosseting the lady from the slight damp that could lead to chill and fever?
She was meant for cashmere and gentle hands, you mean? A grinning, avuncular forbearance? The room pre-warmed and swimming with song, the porcelain place laid at the table?
Meanwhile, out here, the wind takes the road, and the storm clouds stand in anxious counsel, and the warmth waves at us from the window
She was not built for this (observed by my 41-year-old self)
Or maybe there is something happening at home, some loss or losing outside the frame, Elizabeth Bishop’s sestina struck loose from its form,
Or maybe the teacher sees herself in that lonely face,
Or is exercising a poorly-molded though well-intended strategy (and haven’t we all done the same while living on heartstrings?),
Or maybe some of us girls are marked by our strength, “Eldest Daughter” and “dependable” imprinted somewhere in our countenances,
Or maybe the world is not just,
Or maybe it was hurtful to “other” the girl in this way,
Or maybe no one is made for this, and we must learn to cope and take care, and some of us ducklings waddle ahead of the altricial songbirds,
Or maybe it has nothing to do with me,
Or maybe experience is a cruel teacher,
Or maybe we are all built for this, after all:
Able to take the winter as well as the summer —
Post-Scripts.
+Mainly, drawing these two versions of myself together, I see the way 30 years of living has exposed me to alternities, and to sitting with irresolution. Many things might be true; many things can be true. Not everything resolves to a fine point.
+We are approaching holiday season, and I am flashing back to that unpleasant incident in the Whole Foods parking lot on Thanksgiving Eve a few years back. I am reminding myself to practice grace; this is a tough time for some people! Also: avoid Whole Foods the week of Thanksgiving.
Shopping Break.
+More fair isle goodness from Tuckernuck! Love the green.
+A chic alt to the Inuikii boots I was raving about last week: these Penelope Chilvers. Pair with a sherpa-trim winter puffer.
+Trending among Magpies the past few days.
+The Outnet has some great festive finds from Veronica Beard: this shimmery top to pair with velvet trousers or a leather skirt, this perfect red jacket, this silk-satin top to tuck into tartan. I styled that fab red jacket up for the holidays here, and down for everyday here. Those jackets are IT. I get so much mileage out of my VB blazers!
+Speaking of VB, did you see their new arrivals?! Satin blazer, coated jeans, plaid scarf coat?!
+I bought my son this $32 sweatsuit in gray and it is the PERFECT fit — I love the vintage gym style on him, and that it has no logos or lettering. And he loves it, too! I think I’ll order in another color or two. I’m sure he’ll live in this during the winter.
+I also got my daughter this cherry-print sweater (with her approval first) — SO sweet and reminds me of Bonpoint.
+In my latest midnight The Real Real hunt: oooh, this leopard Celine; this shearling-trim Toteme!
+A Magpie reader wrote that one of her favorite “tiny luxury upgrades” has been these scented hand sanitizers. I ordered on her rec! They are refillable.
+Scooter mitts in the cutest designs! I’m sure all the kids in NYC have these. My daughter used to subway, then scoot to school!
+Cire Trudon makes the most luxurious, complexly-scented candles — Landon usually gives me one in my stocking for Christmas. I love their limited edition holiday ones.
+Meanwhile, I’ve been burning this warm, cozy, sexy “Holiday in New York” candle in my studio every day since I received it. It’s SO good.
+Gorgeous maxi length satin skirt. Imagine paired with a fair isle sweater!
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