During those endless pandemic days with two young kids at home, when I was desperately searching for activities to preoccupy us all, I remember a Magpie reader writing: “My philosophy with young kids is — put a fish in water…!” And it was so helpful and low-cost and true! We tested all kinds of water-based play in the subsequent weeks: painting the shower walls, popsicle baths, duplo baths, “car washes” (with little toy cars), foam dyed different colors and scooped into plastic cupcake liners, bowls and spoons and cups for playing “kitchen” from the tub. The philosophy still holds true today, and my children are now six and eight. Sometimes we are in the middle of a weekend afternoon, and we can see our children’s moods colliding, or clouding over, or otherwise going haywire, and we’ll think: “Put a fish in water!” We go to the pool, we set up the sprinkler, we give them a hose, we drop their little sets of toys (trolls, cars, LOL Surprise dolls) into trays of shallow water, we let them run in the rain in their bathing suits. (This summer, they’ve been very into Twister Splash, too.) And lo and behold, the mood changes. I was reminded of this truth just this weekend, when my daughter, after spending thirty minutes lollygagging on the sofa, complaining “there’s nothing to doooo” — discovered a briefly-lost mermaid Barbie and asked if she could take her into the bath tub. A full hour later, my daughter emerged from the bathroom, bright in spirit. Put a fish in water.
What other practical tips do you have for redirecting your children’s moods, I wonder? Small things that can change the weather pattern at home?
A few others that work well for us:
+take a walk around the neighborhood (this can be tricky at the outset; they often drag their feet and complain while putting on shoes, but I swear a walk down the street is like a Baptism);
+offer a change of scenery for an otherwise normal activity (i.e., let them shower in the guest bathroom; invite them to read in your bed; have them take a snack outside);
+clip into quiet, one-on-one time — play a game together, build LEGOs, bake something;
+make art together — my kids especially love doing watercolors with me right now;
+put on an audiobook — I’ll never forget an afternoon earlier this year where my kids were fussy and frustrated, and I put on an audiobook in my bedroom while folding laundry on the floor; they clambered in after me, carrying an urgent energy, and then slowly faded into tranquility, rolling around on my bed, listening. It was a dramatically marked mood shift!;
+acknowledge the feeling — sometimes just emoting around the fact that we all have bad days is enough for my kids to feel seen and heard. I love to reference The Grumpy Monkey in these conversations: it’s OK to be in a bad mood; it happens to everyone. And it, too, shall pass!
+perhaps the most obvious: try a snack! Even eight years into parenting, I sometimes forget that the shortest distance between two points is a line, and neglect to consider whether my children might just be running on low.
What else would you add to the list?
Post-Scripts.
+Seeing all the versions of my daughter.
+Some of our favorite sensory play ideas from the toddler years.
+How do you get your children to eat?!
+The saltings of motherhood.
Shopping Break.
+Adorable skirt – the pattern!
+My daughter loves the underwear and camisoles from Quince and they always sell through fast! A really nice quality cotton with such cute patterns.
+OMG, I LOVE these Princess Di-inspired earrings. They also have a ring with the same motif, which looks a lot like the lab-grown sapphire ring I have from Dorsey. Both of the Aurate pieces are currently 20% off with JENSHOOP! If you’re looking for something more everyday — I love this “lucky charm” necklace (especially in the clover) and you know I treasure this “story” necklace I had engraved with a note my son wrote me.
+Rhone just launched a new “green smoke” capsule collection — love the colorway. I ordered this sports bra and these shorts to try. I love Rhone’s Stance Half-Zip — a true performance wear staple for me. I have it in white and I like that the hem runs a bit wide / a-line so it doesn’t like hug your body? It just skims over the body loosely. Flattering and non-frustrating!
+On the sports bra subject: this has become my new favorite sports bra. I love the material – more like a swimsuit, if that makes sense? I find it stretchy but supportive and I love the silhouette and color contrast. I have had a hard time finding a sports bra I love; I have a few from Lulu and Nike that are fine but I often find myself anxious to change out of them as they are a tad too compressive? But then Beyond Yoga offers no support. The Form is a perfect middle ground. I want to try this one next.
+Fun phone wristlet.
+Loving the fun, sealife-inspired statement jewelry from Anita Berisha, especially this necklace, this belt (can also be worn as a necklace!), and this bracelet. (Use code JEN15 for 15% off!)
+The color of this dress!
+Another great caftan to pad around the house in.
+Last day of Lake sale! This classic stripe set is the ultimate giftable.
+One of our treasured sitters is leaving for college in a month! We gave her one of these classic canvas bags with her initials on it to send her off — they are the best gift to give when you’re not sure what to give. Useful to everyone! I like to give the large size with navy or black regular handles.
+I saw the coolest girl wearing a Parke sweatshirt at National Airport this month and immediately ordered this to copy.
+My son is very into Legos, puzzles, etc and has been LOVING this Gravitrax set my husband got him for Christmas. We’ve gotten some expansion packs for it, too. (My husband loves that it models the scientific method – a lot of trial and error.)
+I need these appetizer forks.
+A running shoe case for travel! I filed this way for a potential gift for a fellow runner in my life. I also love this brand’s new tennis case!
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These recommendations for kids are SO spot-on. So many of our grouchy afternoons have been saved by exactly these things. “The Tale of Despereaux” audiobook is incredible. This is tl;dr, but thinking about this list reinforced how much boredom is an essential spark for creativity:
– Keeping a few of those Mondo Llama kits and paint sets from Target on hand — whatever will be a satisfying craft project and not so challenging it compounds the grouchiness. I use an old curtain as a drop cloth, so it never matters if they spill or get messy.
– Buying popsicle molds and letting the kids choose what to fill them with. Gives them something to look forward to!
– Listening to music on headphones. I use a Mighty player for my son. It doesn’t have a screen, and even young kids can operate it. Sometimes kids just need to lean into their feelings like adults do. I think it’s good for them to have a way to listen to music that they can control and enjoy privately. I would hate it if I had to ask permission every time I wanted to hear a song I liked.
– Playing “treasure hunt.” I write clues on index cards and then hide them around the yard/house. Each one hints at the location of the next clue. Sometimes I get fancy and make the index cards have simple puzzles on them, or I write the letters backwards so they have to hold them up to a mirror. The “treasure” at the end is usually one of my old statement necklaces from the mid-aughts lol. I also bought a box of prisms from Amazon. They love those.
– Playing “movie theater” when the kids have cousins over and they all need to wind down. I make tickets from scrap paper and put their toy cash register in the kitchen. The kids have to pay me with their play money for tickets and snacks. Then I scan their tickets with my husband’s laser thermometer before they go in the living room. It is hilarious to see them carrying purses and wallets like grown-ups.
– Playing “diorama” outside. My son sets up little scenes for his dinosaurs and animal figurines, and I take close-up pictures when he’s done. The goal is to create a scene that doesn’t look like it’s in our yard. It’s neat to see him use puddles and twigs to look like ponds and trees, etc. He’ll spend forever outside if he has a project. One time he chipped off a piece of an old brick and ground it up to look like blood in a dinosaur fight scene. It looked almost too realistic lol.
– The largest-size outdoor blanket from Little Unicorn. It’s big enough for multiple people to stretch out, so there’s no fighting over “he’s putting his feet on me”/”he’s taking up all the space.” Sometimes just lounging in the grass is a good reset. I wish it weren’t a million degrees outside where we live. This one is hard to do midday right now.
Wow, Jeanette! What a fantastic and creative list! I’m absolutely stealing your idea for movie theater, right down to the thermometer ticket scanner. So clever! (Also: the clue backwards so they need to read it in the mirror — my kids would get such a kick out of this!)
xx
Co-sign audiobooks, especially when the bad mood attacks while in the car. Also, one on one time – challenging with two kids, since it’s just the 3 of us most of the day, plus feeling left out puts the other one in a bad mood. But yesterday at the pool I had success…my oldest tried the deep end swim test and did not pass. V bad mood ensued. Eventually I asked if she wanted to go down the water slide with just me. We left her sister with my SIL and the cousins and on the way up the stairs, I explained that the water slide was a magic happiness chute, and she’d come out at the bottom feeling happy again. Worth a shot. Well, at the bottom she said she was “half-happy” and needed to go down with me one more time, haha. Second time did the trick!
So sweet – thanks for sharing that moment. I agree that those little sips of intense 1-on-1 connection can really turn the ship.
xx
Yes to audiobooks!! Frog and Toad is our go-to. My kids also like the podcast Please, Please Sleep, especially stories about PJ Masks or Curious George. Or music. I like « taverncore » music while doing the dishes because it’s a bit silly to pretend to be a kitchen wench. Changing the venue usually works, taking kids outside or onto our terrace. They have a framed kiddie pool out there that we use exclusively for messy play, whether sensory bin stuff or dirt or watercolors or ice, because it’s incredibly easy to clean. Right now it’s full of duplo, but their favorite is a bag of coffee beans mixed with beads and charms. My son also likes lacing cards, « picky pad » fidgets, and other fine motor things. I love modeling beeswax (a thousand times more pleasant than playdough). I’ve found when my kids are getting grabby or handsy with each other they « need a job », so we assign them a task with some heavy work, hanging wet laundry or sorting dirty laundry, taking out the trash and recycling whether it needs it or not, vacuuming. Or I’ll make an obstacle course with stepping stones. The main reason my kids have been a bit much lately is because it’s so hot that they’re getting less playground time than usual, so ice cream or lemonade to cool down followed by a bit of rough play has been the magic formula.
I love the insight of “giving them a job” when they are getting grabby/handsy – such a great redirect? Thanks for that!
xx