Last weekend, a friend of mine shared that she’d gotten a tattoo over the summer: LOVE, written in her father’s handwriting, across the inside of her wrist. She said she’d never been a tattoo person — had never even thought of having one — but that her father had passed away, and that she’d noticed after his death that he’d never connected the top of his Os or the top line of his Es when writing in all caps. She found the idiosyncrasy charming and wanted a way to capture it, some small means by which to carry her father, in full technicolor format, with her.
I felt so deeply for her instinct. One of the reasons I have written so extensively about my deceased friend Elizabeth is because I dread the erosion of my memories of her. I hold such a fragile posy of her memories now; time continues to nip away at them. I have learned over time that language is one of the few ways to stop time and recover her. When I write about the past, and particularly those beloved deceased who belong to it, I find things lost. It is, I realize, a mad task, to believe that I might somehow resurrect her keystroke by keystroke. But it can sometimes feel that way, when I am sitting at my screen, and she appears on the page wearing my own words.
And so I felt on a visceral level my friend’s decision to memorialize her father’s handwriting on her own skin. And I also felt called to truly notice the idiosyncrasies, imperfections, and quirks of my beloved right now, as they are today: my son’s funny way of hopping around on one leg, almost without thinking; my daughter’s sweet loopy signature. The specific way my husband takes off his shirt — I’d recognize the maneuver anywhere, even if he was just a silhouette three hundred yards away. The way my mom says “mmmm buh-bye” at the end of every call. Never “bye,” never “goodbye.” Always: “mmm, buh-bye.” My dad’s blocky, all-caps handwriting in Sharpie; the way he delivers everything in those brown accordion folders (hangover from his attorney years).
And I am thinking, too, of something Landon and I were discussing this week: that the limitations and glitches of an emerging technology often become its defining and most cherished characteristics. Think, for example, of the sound of a dial-up modem, or the scratch of a record player needle, the pop or crackle of static on the radio. The imperfections are often what we treasure most. This in turn brings to mind the Japanese art of kintsugi, or mending broken pottery with lacquer dusted in powdered gold and silver such that the damage is foregrounded, celebrated.
What are the quirks in your loved ones — or in your home, for that matter! — that you will one day be nostalgic for?
Post-Scripts.
+Aren’t we lucky to be children?
+Parenting and lucky passages.
+Memories of my grandfather.
Shopping Break.
+This gives me the best “Dr. Jones, I presume?” vibes. Love.
+Chic pull-on satin pants. Actually would look fantastic with the blazer above. I love the contrast of the silky feminine pants with the tweedy masculine blazer!
+Those pants would also look amazing paired with a slouchy oversized sweater in a matching brown — this one looks perfect, and is under $70.
+Perfect fall blouse tucked into high-waisted denim. Doen vibes for less.
+Obsessed with sweater jackets this time of year — consider this jacquard knit from Sezane or this fair isle from Faherty (the colors…!)
+A must-have for blemishes. The most helpful part: they prevent you from TOUCHING them!
+Gorgeous dress for a fall cocktail party. Perfect with these suede platforms (under $160). I will say, though, I have been getting SO MUCH WEAR out of these simple suede mules. They’re just perfect with every silhouette, every dress. Not too fancy, not too casual; perfect heel height.
+Landon and I have been sampling lots of different brands of booze-free bottled mocktails, and a new favorite for us is Agrestis. This is carried at our local butcher, and we also spotted it at Sant Ambroeus in NYC while visiting, so we thought we’d try it — pretty good votes of confidence there. It’s turned out to be the closest we’ve found to tasting like an actual cocktail — it has that pleasant bitter bite, and a fuller mouth feel than a lot of other brands we’ve tried. Strongly rec! We ordered this sampler to have on hand!
+I LOVE chic table paper products — how fab are these menu cards for Thanksgiving dinner or a late fall dinner party, and these placecards?!
+Sweetest kids’ Halloween jammies for under $15.
+OMG! Madewell’s updated suede tote is so chic with that buckle! Reminds me of this much more expensive style from Liffner.
+A gorgeous rug at a great price point.
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