Site icon Magpie by Jen Shoop

Weekend Vibes: On Being Busy.

why are we always so busy

*Image via.

My Latest Snag: My Gap Order!

Gap, is that you?! I’ve been loving Gap this past six or twelve months. Really great styling and trend-conscious (not necessarily trend-y) fits. I just ordered three items and can’t wait to report back: these white jeans (you all know I’m in love with the black version of these — currently wearing as I type!; run TTS), this collarless jean jacket (!!!! like, what! — can’t wait to pair with my black Chanel crossbody for a hi-low moment), and this beige and white striped tee.

The day after I placed the order, they released this perfect little gauze mini dress. Might need to go back for it in the army green or coral color. (I am now a gauze fiend after discovering its perfection via this Xirena top — so, so soft and easy to wear. Love the neckline of my top especially.)

I shared all my favorite recent Gap and Old Navy finds here. In case you didn’t know, they are sister brands and you can place and order at both shops simultaneously!

This Week’s Most Popular: Early Spring Finds.

01. SCALLOPED RUG // 02. KUR NAIL CONCEALER // 03. MAREA ELIZABETH BLOUSE // 04. SAM EDELMAN MEADOW FLATS // 05. H&M SWIMSUIT // 06. WOVEN TOTE // 07. MADEWELL PERFECT VINTAGE FLARE JEANS // 08. PAINT BY STICKER BOOK // 09. GAP TODDLER TEE // 10. TARGET PUFF SLEEVED TOP // 11. PARKER HOME DESIGNS PILLOW // 12. DAGNE DOVER VIDA TOTE // 13. EMBELLISHED ESPADRILLES

Weekend Musings: Why Are We Always So Busy?

One of the many subjects Katherine May broaches in the podcast I expounded up yesterday is our cultural obsession with “busy-ness.” She specifically mentions the normalized exchange: “How’ve you been?” “Oh, busy, busy.” The comment twanged for me because, for the past year or so, when people ask how we’ve been, I always say the same, slightly neutered thing: “Good, good — we’re in a good groove.” It feels both true and defiant. We are in a good groove. We’ve moved to our (likely) forever home. Our children are attending a school they will be in until eighth grade. Our families are healthy; our jobs are secure. (Praise God for these normal, happy days.) Of course, and at the same time, we are wildly busy in the way of all young families. There are days where any incremental demand on my time leaves me bristling. (“No, I do not have time to run out to get the exact $2 we need for my daughter’s last minute free dress day fundraiser! I only have $20s on me! How dare they!”) But, like May, I don’t find that line of conversation particularly generative or interesting. No one really wants to hear how your day is frittered into tiny fractions by competing demands, right? And there are times where the conversation turns ever so slightly competitive — a listing-off of rivaling vacations and activities and logistics.

I am also leery of the “busy busy” response because I don’t want to be “busy, busy.” I have been working, diligently, to design my days with intention such that the freneticism stays at bay, and Mr. Magpie and I have pointedly been saying no to things over this past year to give ourselves room to breathe. We barely travel anywhere, we try to keep to a “one thing a day” rule on the weekends, and we have been somewhat ruthless about evaluating invitations. The calculus for me is: if I don’t feel I have time to call my close friends or siblings, I shouldn’t say yes to an invitation/event with a group I don’t really know well. This might sound curmudgeonly. (Perhaps it is.) We may be forfeiting social richness. (Perhaps we are.) But, I tell myself, there will be seasons where I have more capacity for that. Right now, my husband and I need more downtime. I don’t know whether this is aftermath of COVID and a stressful move, the sensation all parents have while raising young children, or idiosyncratic to our temperaments and my vocation to writing, which demands long pockets of uninterrupted quiet.

Of course, I feel wrong-footed about our philistine perspective most of the time. I have friends who openly puzzle over our near-refusal to travel, and, every now and then, when a friend is rattling off her packed family agenda, I find an errant urge to rattle off my own. It is as distasteful a feeling then as it is admitting it here. Like, I know better than to indulge that urge, and I scold myself for it, and I have philosophically thought through my allegiance to space and quiet as both a member of my family and a practicing creative, but why does that urge still pop up from time to time?

I polled some Magpies along these lines over Instagram, and received such fascinating and insightful responses. Most of them suggested that “busyness makes us feel important,” or “busyness allows us to hide from ourselves / to distract from problems.” There were also comments about America’s Puritan roots, modern hustle culture, and capitalism.

If you, too, find the “busyness” imperative troubling, here is my provocation for you: think of a different answer to “how’ve you been?” See how people respond, and gauge your own internal flinch or satisfaction. Please let me know what you learn!

Shopping Break.

+Farm Rio continues to deliver JOY! I often receive messages/emails from readers and friends asking for dresses for birthdays. I always point them in the direction of Farm Rio or CeliaB! Dresses to PARTY in.

+This adorable gingham one-piece for a baby reminds me of the ones from Petite Plume, but $20 less. Cute option for Easter morning for your little boy.

+Mille is offering an extra 30% off their sale section with code EXTRA30OFF. As you know, I’m a huge fan of this brand. A lot of their pieces are dreamy for family portraits, FYI — I own and love this maxi in this exact pattern and always think of it when Magpies ask for blue and white dresses for family photos, but how gorgeous is this, too? This sunshine yellow caftan would be a dream for beach/summer adventures. I shared a photo of myself wearing one of their Thalia tops a few weeks ago and it’s my most popular LTK post (!). You can score one on sale, plus extra 30% off, here, here, and here. I had to buy the pink one! Note that this brand runs REALLY big. I take an XXS in everything and I’m still swimming. Fortunately, the styles are intentionally billowy/boho so it works.

+A new spring hand wash to try — have heard it smells heavenly. But my staple household hand wash scent is Molton Brown’s Rhubarb and Rose (and I know I’ve converted many of you to this, too). I just found it for 30% off here and am going to stock up.

+I couldn’t resist — I’ve been eyeing the Naghedi totes for years now and I just needed the buttercup yellow color. It is SO cheerful. On its way to me now. I think I want to add a fun little charm to it (maybe this star, embossed with my initials?) of some kind…stay tuned.

+Speaking of beachy/summer bags, I just noticed there are a few of my eyes bag from The Jacksons available. (You can see mine here.) I loved (!) this bag so much last summer. Just so fun and punchy. You can find other designs (that ship domestically) here. Love this dachsund! Gap also has a fun woven bag out this season worth considering.

+If you love the eyes motif, you need to check out Anya Hindmarch’s delightful, playful designs — like this bag. She also has a Diet Coke coin purse — so kitschy!

+This dress reminds me of La Ligne but rings in at $135.

+My friend Stephanie posted a snap of herself wearing this $22 cover up at the beach and I thought it was Missoni!

+This rattan folding tray table would be a chic addition to a living/family area!

+Love these blockprint luggage tags. Set your Away suitcase apart from the pack!

+Fun gift for a little one. My daughter LOVES her digital camera.

+This dress in the khaki color is wildly chic. Imagine with great flats and fun earrings.

+This Easter dress for a little love…!

+Added these butterfly clips to my daughter’s cache of Easter basket fillers. More great basket filler ideas here.