Site icon Magpie by Jen Shoop

Weekend Vibes, Edition No. 132: Paying It Forward.

Musings on the meaning and richness of paying it forward.

My Latest Snag: The Dress I’ll Wear to Micro’s Christening.

If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll know that I have purchased and returned probably half a dozen dresses (several listed here) as potential contenders for micro’s Baptism (tomorrow!) and had planned to re-wear a Self-Portrait while lace dress I’ve had for a few seasons. Then I found this $60 steal and it was case closed. Very excited to wear it with my pearl headband for a Duchess Kate moment and, because it’s supposed to be warm, these past-season Tory Burch pearl mules (gently used), which — interestingly — I bought and thought, “These are so loud, I’ll probably only wear them a handful of times, but I LOVE THEM” and yet have worn them at least once a week this summer. If it’s cooler, I’ll probably wear them with my ivory rockstuds (still wear these a ton).

You’re Sooooo Popular: A Sleek Black Dress for Fall.

The most popular items on the blog this week:

+This elegant/sleek black maxi.

+Pet cocktail napkins!

+Tortoise shell decor. Love. Very Nate Berkus.

+Cool girl denim. (Proof.)

+The best everyday pumps.

+My son’s christening dress (above) — a lot of you liked this via the link in my Instagram profile. (I occasionally share finds there, too.)

+The best sneaks for little ones, IMHO. (Little boys, too!)

#Turbothot: Paying It Forward.

I have spent (and will spend) a lot of time shuttling back and forth from mini’s school the past two weeks, especially during her phase-in schedule, where some days, she was only there for an hour! Navigating the subway twice a day with a toddler has been interesting. I know it will become routine, but I’m always vaguely anxious about how crowded the trains will be, as sometimes it means I should fold up the stroller and ply a stranger to give up his/her seat so she can sit down while I hover over her with the stroller folded and slung over my shoulder — and other times, when the trains are gloriously void, it’s easier to just wheel her straight onto the train in her stroller. Only — it’s never quite that simple. I have to take her out of the stroller to get her down the stairs of the subway stop to begin with unless I want a slightly longer commute (accessing the elevator to the stop adds at least five minutes, and even then is not great because I still need to get her through the turnstiles, which usually means leaving her in her stroller outside while I rush through myself and then swing open the service door to wheel her through — something I hate doing during the busy morning rush hour). At any rate, I usually just get her out and have her walk down the stairs with me, but then she often does not want to get back in and I’m left negotiating with her, which can occasionally backfire if the train is crowded and I need to take her out yet again. Usually, I just keep her out of the stroller full-stop, but then there are always the concerns of keeping a grip on her, keeping her hands off the grimy poles (and then out of her mouth), keeping her in a place that makes it easy for us to get off the train when we need to get off.

And that’s only for getting ON the train. The whole thing repeats when we arrive at our destination stop ten minutes later.

But, it’s not as bad as it sounds. The subway is fast and reliable, for which I am eternally grateful. And, bizarrely enough, I kind of enjoy our commute together. I am squarely focused on her; there’s not even an option to do anything else, as my hands are full and I need to be alert to our surroundings. What’s more, mini notices and learns a lot on the Subway, including numbers — she loves reading the numbers of the train we are on! It’s a special little pocket of time for us to chat and observe the world together. (Plus, I’m getting a crazy workout carrying a stroller and occasionally a toddler, and balancing it all on a moving and jerky subway is a great core workout — ha!)

Still — on the occasion of a toddler meltdown on the subway floor (ew ew ew OMG OMG OMG — can I incinerate her clothes?) or the sight of something disgusting en route (will not deign to disgrace this blog by sharing some of the horrific things I’ve seen on the subway), I think, “Oh Lord, why are we here? What am I doing? Am I insane?!”

One recent morning, on my way to school with mini, I was doing the usual song and dance and mini and I were pointing out all of the colors we saw on the train. “Ozinge seat,” she said. (Ozinge = orange.) “Red number 1. Black stroller. Brown floor [ed. note: EW].” We were engrossed in this game for a minute or two and then I gave her a heads up, as I always do, that at the next stop, we would need to get off really, really fast, a directive she curiously loves and takes very seriously. As we were scurrying off the train, a construction worker who had been sitting across from us stopped me and said:

“M’am, you’re supermom.”

I was so flustered with sudden emotion, I could scarcely squeak out a “oh, thank you–!” as the doors closed and the train departed the station.

As I held mini’s little paw in mine and we inched our way through the turnstiles and up the filthy stairs, and then got her situated in the stroller at the top, dodging angry humans and disgusting debris, I was choking back tears and positively beaming. This kind stranger had given me the boost I needed to realize I was doing a good job. I was getting it done! I was doing it! Such a seemingly small task — getting a child to school — but I clutched his encouragement to my chest. I so deeply valued the fact that I was being seen, recognized, rewarded for my admittedly puny though somewhat convoluted achievement.

I say all this not because I think I am supermom. (I am not. She is.)

I say this because this random act of kindness has inspired me to pay it forward — to stop a stranger to pay her a compliment, to take a minute to thank our family’s nanny for her incredible devotion and hard work, to pause and thoroughly acknowledge the doormen and porters in our building who are so kind and accommodating to me in helping me live my life here.

And to that man on the downtown 1 train carrying his “ozinge” construction hat: thank you, thank you, thank you for making my load a lot lighter that morning and the many mornings following.

Post-Scripts: Ottomans + Booties.

+How cool are these upholstered ottomans?! Love the Scalamandre zebra print, of course. (I get my fix in smaller dimensions with these napkins.)

+Swooning over these sweet booties for a little one.

+Shoe spree.

+Such a chic dress for a fall family portrait or event.

+Darling Superga sneaks on sale in select sizes for kiddos!

+Why I love “lowbrow” stuff.

+A great price on a classic area rug. Only I don’t know if I can handle a cream carpet with two little ones…mini is slowly but surely destroying everything we own with yogurt fingers, accidents, etc.

+I’ve been a little under the weather lately and have been drinking a ton of my favorite tea. I get this shipped to our apartment regularly.

+Another cool sweater to consider for fall. (More picks here.)

+Musings on remaining interesting to Mr. Magpie.