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What a week! In some ways, just the normal gradient shift of motherhood miscellany, in which I unsurprisingly move from the adrenaline of a career high (releasing a dream collaboration with a dear friend and talented artist) to the low-grade worry and repetitiveness of administering antibiotics, steroids, and tylenol around the clock, collecting used tissues dotting the coffee table, and pressing my palm to feverish little foreheads. (We have had strep, croup, and the flu in our home this week.) Isn’t motherhood always this way, though? The waterfall of tiny, almost invisible, acts of motherly care that must happen and do happen no matter what else is going on. I wrote to my sister: “Isn’t this a signature portrait of motherhood: standing in the steam shower getting completely wet yourself while you hold your coughing little one?” and she said: “Totally, nothing else matters — what wet clothes?”
What wet clothes indeed. The mantra of mothers around the world who are showing up for meetings after discreetly tucking their breast pumps beneath the desk, and ordering groceries on their phones (including the only granola bar they know their children will eat) while waiting for the conference call to start. Motherhood is a surfeit! But one that I am discovering I am becoming better at accepting. Not better at actually getting everything done — just better at accommodating incompleteness, and shrugging in the face of changed plans. I’m thinking now of that quote by ballerina Agnes De Mille: “Ballet technique is arbitrary and very difficult. It never becomes easy; it becomes possible.” Applicable to motherhood’s demands, too, don’t you think? For example, on top of the base level intensity of caring for my unwell babies, the ailments in our home necessitated three trips to the doctor’s office, one emergency phone call to the R.N., three trips to the pharmacy, two canceled playdates, one canceled dinner date (that had taken my girlfriend a lot of trouble to snag reservations for — damn you, Osteria Mozza! — and sorry, Hadley), and a lot of shuffling around of work. This on top of Landon being out of town for three days, and it being Catholic Schools Week at my children’s school, wherein (you can imagine) there are last minute canned food drives (of course, we oddly had nothing suitable in our pantry to donate; had to add a grocery run to the to-dos), free dress days requiring $2 in cash (of course, had no $1 bills, necessitating a trip to the bank), and flowers for the teachers (another last minute run to the grocery). Which was not exactly ideal during a week in which I was releasing my first physical product into the world, and was collaborating with someone several states away to do so.
But I’m kind of laughing it all. Because of course. This is always the way; this is the process. What wet clothes?!
Which is to say that I noticed that I was extending myself a lot of grace during this frenetic week, and it was born of two specific thoughts. The first: reminding myself you’re where you need to be. I’ve written about this before, but it’s changed my outlook on days where things go topsy-turvy. My kids’ wellness is not an interruption to my life. My children will get sick, and I will care for them — this is part of the architecture of motherhood, not some accident or intrusion. Why rail against the change in plans? This mind shift helped me turn down the intensity dial this week.
The second: whenever I was feeling acutely overstimulated, I physically slowed down. Like, to an almost cartoonish degree, to make a point to myself. I’d find myself in the shower furiously scrubbing my hair to…what? Save an extra 30 seconds? Jen, slow down. Physically slow your movements. Let your heart rate return to normal. Strive to be the lowest heart rate in the room. You don’t need to run. You don’t need to speed. You definitely don’t need to give yourself a scalp burn while shampooing. You can be a few minutes late; you can let the kids stay up an extra few minutes while you finish putting away the dishes. You do not need to hurtle through the day aerodynamically. You are not a finely crafted piece of machinery. You are a human and today is one of your limited-edition, wild and precious days. Deep breath. Don’t rush through what you always dreamed of: two babies, a happy home, the most incredible man holding your universe together, a vibrant creative life. Sick days are a part of that deal, too. Don’t rush it.
Onward, Magpies, wet clothes and all —
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DAILY SUSTENANCE (MARY OLIVER) // SICK (BUT BUSY) BABY // BIG LAUNCH // PRETTIEST RIFLE PAPER COLLECTION THAT FELT TAILOR-MADE FOR OUR MARRIAGE IS PRINT (P.S., BUNDLE THE PRINT WITH THIS RING DISH FOR A BRIDE TO BE!)
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LOEFFLER RANDALL DRESS // MOTHER SCIENCE RETINOL SYNERGIST // MANGO TOP // MARGAUX BLOCK HEELS // THERAGUN MINI (ON SALE!) // CADETS SHORTS FOR BOYS // MINTED LETTERPRESS
+The Theragun Mini is on sale starting today. I gave Mr. Magpie one of these for Christmas and he uses it twice daily! He loves it! He insists its made him less sore and more limber. Great gift for your man for Valentine’s Day if you’re running low on ideas! (More lowkey ways to celebrate Valentines Day here.)
+I saw the founder of Loeffler Randall herself wearing this gorgeous dress from her own label and it’s now on my mind…and how fun are these embroidered utility pants?!
+Mother Science just released a new product — the Retinol Synergist! I absolutely love their molecular genesis face cream and appreciate how much thought and research goes into each of their (now three) products. They are focused!
+Seriously pretty embroidered top at a great price.
+Margaux just launched a new shoe silhouette — Chanel vibes.
+I didn’t realize this, but Minted has some really cute stationery options, including letterpress?! Landon is always asking me for stationery to write thank you notes, etc, and I finally ordered him a set of these small letterpress cards and these bigger flat printed ones. These ones with the floral motif are gorgeous for us gals. Speaking of letterpress, I just had this beautiful NC-based studio make me stationery with my Magpie logo on it, and squealed at how beautifully it turned out. Hint: I’m going to be launching Magpie hats next month and wanted to be able to tuck a little note inside each one!
+Big Cadets restock today! These sell out fast each drop and ironically I just finished successfully signing up my kids for seven weeks of summer camp (at three different programs) and already ordered a few pairs in preparation for my son’s camp life. He likes this style, which has more of a performance-y feel to the fabric, and I like these, which are more traditional twill.