Lowkey Romance.

Jen Shoop

6 hours ago

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I wrote recently that love doesn’t fret over the furnishings. “Connection can happen anywhere. The magic of a marriage will show itself in a parking lot, in a hospital room, in a medium bar with medium drinks, in the dim light of a midnight nursery with a crying newborn. Life, and love, are happening right now, in the imperfect present.” In fact, some of the most romantic moments in my life have happened in the least picture-perfect ways. I am thinking about those hazy, exhausting early days of newborn parenthood, and of Landon and I watching that “Murder Mystery” movie with Adam Sandler and cheersing with a glass of wine while our infant son slept next to us. I had this profound feeling wash over me: it’s just me and you together in this one wild and precious life. Two backs against the lee, you know? I felt so connected to him, so relieved, so happy, even though I was aching from a c-section, wearing baggy nursing pajamas, and bone tired. I am also remembering the time Landon came and rescued me from an unfortunate situation with an ex-boyfriend — he drove straight from playing in a softball game to a date function, wearing sweats and dirt, and I can hardly think of a more romantic moment. Prince Charming with stains on his knees from sliding into home and a sweaty faded t-shirt he hadn’t had time to change. I mean…! Love doesn’t care. If anything, love thrives when your mask is askew.

In that spirit, some lowkey ideas for celebrating Valentine’s Day…

01. Make a festive cocktail, like this or this, or if you’re non-drinkers, a fun mocktail (Bardelia has a fun aperol spritz mocktail bundle) and put on a great romantic playlist (see next point). We’ve been really into the latter linked cocktail, and various versions of it, lately — the Breville juicer I bought Mr. Magpie for Christmas makes “fluffy juice” (highly aerated) and this is an essential ingredient in any Garibaldi. I hadn’t been much of a campari fan until now!

02. Put on music that gives you the feels! It’s all about ambiance. I put together a playlist of some of my favorite love songs here (Spotify) and here (Apple).

03. Play a game together! I’m telling you, it’s a fantastic, different way to connect with your significant other. We love Wingspan and Azul — perfect two-player games. Azul is easier to learn, FWIW. Even just a festive drink, a romantic playlist, and a round of Azul in front of the fire would be a perfect way to spend Valentine’s Day.

04. Skip a “romantic” outfit. Wear an easy red sweater with jeans that make you feel good and bare feet. Or a cute but sneaky-sexy lounge outfit like these whipped track pants (divine, divine!) in the pale pink with the matching henley. (Truly, this set is one of the most comfortable things I’ve ever worn, but also saucy and flattering. He will be into this set, I promise.)

05. Make a romantic dinner at home. IMO, a perfect Valentine’s Day dinner would be Daniel Boulud’s hanger steak with shallot-red-wine sauce, Thomas Keller’s smashed marble potatoes, and a bitter winter green salad with a citrus vinaigrette. For dessert, something from a local bakery, like tiramisu or a slice of chocolate cake — something that would require a lot of time to make at home, and that feels special. Share one slice with two forks. If you’re in a pinch, Whole Foods’ Chantilly cake is actually really delicious and they often sell it by the slice. (There are entire subreddit threads extolling the virtues of this cake — it’s an airy sponge cake with a tangy whipped cream frosting and fresh berries. Strongly rec.)

06. Ask your spouse these questions and laugh about the answers together. Tinx also recently shared a few oddball table topic conversations to bring to a dinner party — I screenshotted to ask Landon and am copying and pasting below. Sometimes it’s fun to throw a curve ball conversation in there! Dying to know how many owls it would take for Landon to feel like something is wrong?

07. Watch a romantic movie together. Magpies have shared their favorite romantic scenes here and under-the-radar rom coms here. I know some men aren’t into this genre; you could also try something like “Hit Man” or “Fall Guy,” which are romances in “guy movie” costumes. Or watch some serious cinema — something nominated for lots of obscure film festival awards — and have a long conversation about it afterward. Make popcorn using this stovetop contraption and these kernels, or order a bunch of flavors of Jeni’s (controversial, but I really want to try this flavor) and lay them out with two spoons.

08. Surprise your significant other with a handwritten Valentine. Doesn’t need to be over the top — just a plain card, although I’m writing mine on this — but push yourself to capture something really specific about why you love him/her. I found some of the Magpie reader comments on this post — weird things we love about our significant others — generative. You could riff on this theme in the following formula: “Little things I love about you: the salt and pepper in your beard, the way you hold my hand when we walk the dog, the fact that you answer your phone on the first ring every single time.” These specifics will feel so special to him.

09. Open a special bottle of wine. Last week, Landon and I opened a bottle of wine we’d bought two years ago while in Napa, from Tank Winery. (More on that magical trip here, in case you’re headed that way. We loved, and I mean loved, Calistoga.) There was no special occasion — the bottle was the occasion. But Valentine’s Day presents us with a specific occasion to celebrate.

10. Light candles! Candlelight over lamplight forever. So easy but so romantic!

In case you exchange gifts for the occasion, or are shopping for it yourself, a few beautiful treasures…