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We spent five years in Chicago, Illinois. Most of it was a winter that howled, then stilled, around us. It was hard to get warm; harder to suppress my complaints amidst the unfazed Midwesterners, who would walk through the cold as though ermine in tundra: light on their feet, adaptive. We were enduring winters of other kinds, though. We lost a pregnancy and a business there, and I felt at that time as though we were two wayfarers cutting a path against an open plainland. But there are always at least two stories, and usually hundreds, to any year. Because amidst the shortest and darkest parts of Illinois, we bought our first house, and laid on our backs on its roof making fragile promises to one another about our future, and celebrated New Year’s Eve with champagne and oysters and candlelight, and walked out of Prentice Women’s Hospital shielding our baby from the wind.
In that time in Chicago, we realized what it had meant when my father had said, on the night before our wedding, reading the words from The Exhortation Before Marriage:
“This union, then, is most serious, because it will bind you together for life in a relationship so close and so intimate, that it will profoundly influence your whole future.
That future, with its hopes and disappointments, its successes and its failures, its pleasures and its pains, its joys and its sorrows, is hidden from your eyes.
…And so not knowing what is before you, you take each other for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death.
Truly, then, these words are most serious.”
When I recalled these confidences in Illinois, I thought back to our wedding day, and saw us as two young lovers crouched against a lee. We couldn’t have known what lay on the other side. We knew only how warm and happy it was to huddle together.
But when I remember these words now, I see that Chicago shaped us into the lee itself, our backs a shared shelter against the wind. Love can do that, you know. It can shapeshift into rock just as easily as it can into chamomile, and heat, and a soft touch, and the light left on in the window, and the pilgrim crocuses of spring. Which is to say, life will ask a lot of you, but love will continue to provide the provisional form you need to bear through.
Post-Scripts.
+In spite of its hardships, we loved Chicago. I wrote a love letter to it here.
+And New York is, still, a shock.
+200 runs through Central Park.
+An aubade to parenting. This was one of my first serious essays I ever published on my blog, and I wrote it before my daughter was born. I love to visit with it.
Shopping Break.
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+Great new arrivals at J. Crew: a dreamy fluffy sweater, this v-neck toile print dress (can be belted!), and — my personal favorite — this fabulous pleated skirt. And as a turtleneck enthusiast, I can’t wait to get my hands on their reformatted tissue turtleneck.
+A great fall stripe tee on sale. Vibe for even less ($20) here.
+Frank & Eileen is offering $50 off orders with code APPLE. I am currently wearing this sweatsuit as I tap away at my computer! A splurge but I really get a lot of wear out of these sets. My other favorite one is this. Personally I think that set is the most flattering — I have it in navy and I like the open neck and ankle exposure.
+LOVE this sherpa gilet from Boden. This velvet wrap waistcoat also turned my head.
+Love the ladylike leather gloves from brand Handsome Stockholm — so fun in an unexpected color like chartreuse (as you know, a big accent color this season) or Hermes orange.
+I always break out my Gucci tights a time or two in the fall season. Fun to pair with an otherwise simple LBD. If you’re not into logos, these Marine Serres are fab.
+Only a few left of this fab sweater-pleated-skirt combo dress I styled last week. Still 25% off!
+Love the shape and color of this mini red bag ($60!). And as you know I am loving short sleeved knits right now — Mango has two great options: this $59 brown polo style and this $59 crewneck.
+Everlane just released a chic under-$100, 100% cotton sweater in great colors.
+We just resolved a huge home disorganization problem — we always had a huge pile of shoes at/beneath/around the x benches in our front hall. It was driving us crazy! Mr. Magpie cleared out all the long (dress!) coats from the hall closet and put them in our upstairs guest bedroom since we only access them a handful of times each year (a few dress/formal events during a short season!) and then was able to install two of these stackable shoe racks. Meanwhile, I moved all the kids out of season shoes to their respective closets. It has been SUCH an upgrade! Hall is clear and kids know to put their shoes on the shoe rack!
+Fun fall cocktail dress — and so is this one! Perfect for this transitional weather time.
+Target run! These stainless steel snack boxes, this adorable children’s desk, this fun wavy bowl (Halloween candy at the entryway?!), and these new hand towels I got for our powder bathroom.