My Dad is a pretty serious guy. Not only is he a tenured and successful attorney, investor, and philanthropist, but he is — by nature — scholarly, studied, inquisitive, sharp-as-a-tack. A string of my core childhood memories involves him carrying a four-inch-thick tome on Churchill or some arcane battle in some arcane war. He was (still is) never without this kind of heavy reading material, whether getting his hair cut, picking us up from playdates, killing time in the pews before an awards ceremony. There was a joke (or was it a joke…?) among my brothers-in-law that, while dating my sisters and I, any anticipated interactions with my Dad meant they’d be hurriedly beefing up on current events and skimming recently-published op-eds in the New York Times and Washington Post. “Better have an opinion at the ready,” was the chorus, because my Dad is the type to sit down at the dinner table and ask someone to pass the salt and share her thoughts on the ongoing war in Ukraine. Recently, my father was extolling the virtues of an acquaintance he respects. “He’s just a real smart, serious guy,” he concluded. Afterwards, on the drive home, Mr. Magpie said: “I think your family might be the only family I know that considers ‘serious’ an elite descriptor.”
Of course, my Dad is also charming and funny and self-deprecating. He fits the description “strong opinions, loosely held” — always willing to change his mind, accommodate pushback, poke fun at himself. But, on the whole, he’s a pretty serious dude.
That is why I absolutely treasure the fact that he loves ice cream. It seems incongruous, like, perhaps, a Supreme Court Justice retiring to her chambers to eat Skittles? Even better: he eats the ice cream out of those crunchy, styrafoam-like cake cones. Always has. I think he may have kept the Joy brand in business for the better part of the 90s. When I think glancingly of my Dad, then, I think of two things. First, a quote from As Good as It Gets where Melvin says: “I might be the only one who appreciates how amazing you are in every single thing that you do…and in every single thought that you have, and how you say what you mean and how it’s almost always something that’s all about being straight and good.” My Dad is a “straight and good” person. He walks the hard line, unflinchingly. He is serious, ethical, precise in his thoughts and actions. But I also think of ice cream, of his long-time favorites Butter Pecan and Cherry Garcia, scooped up in cake cones, eaten in about ten seconds — two or three bites — flat.
And the balance of the two is kind of perfect?
I suppose it reveals the multitudes each of us contain. We are irreducible, complex, full of treasure and surprise.
I’m curious today: what secret, possibly incongruous-with-your-personality, indulgence do you have? I’m thinking off the top of my head of a cousin who drinks Dr. Pepper every morning, and a brother-in-law who eats Lucky Charms, and the pack of Jujyfruits in my desk drawer…but it doesn’t have to be food, either. There must be someone out there who has a secret and unexpected ASMR source, or watches true crime documentaries for hours on end, or can’t stop tuning into gift wrapping TikToks?
Post-Scripts.
+Not to be morose, but what your last meal be? (Love the comments on this.)
+I guess my dad’s love of ice cream is why I’m especially moved by “Ice Cream Moments.”
+A lot of you have asked me to re-share this post in which my Dad offers us all some good, galvanizing advice in the face of a big life change.
+This post, on making it through a really tough year during the pandemic, still brings me to tears.
Shopping Break.
+Obsessed with this skirt. Love how they paired it with this pop of neon sweater.
+This $12 trinket dish had to be mine. OMG.
+This sequin top is SO good, and under $100 — it reminds me of styles from Vampire’s Wife! A few other fab sequin tops to shop for NYE:
THIS DRAPED STYLE – ON RIDICULOUS SALE
THIS “KIMONO” — THROW ON OVER LEGGINGS FOR A FESTIVE BUT COMFORTABLE NYE IN
+Currently in my cart. I love the idea of wearing this around the house (alternative to nap dress) in the evenings/mornings underneath a chunky knit.
+Would love a pair of these cashmere bed socks. Also strike me as a chic gift.
+These hair ties are SO fun.
+Alice Walk’s popular cotton sweaters were just restocked!
+Random stocking stuffer I bought for my children: these cups. We call mini “ladybug” (nickname) so I had to get her that one, and the lion one reminds me so much of my boy!
+These under-$100 glitzy heels are SO fun and remind me of styles from Mach and Mach that retail for over
+Cute statement sweater in a fetching shade of blue.
+Oh my goodness, this cashmere knit set for a baby girl is beyond adorable, and surprisingly well-priced!
+This Lela Rose dress is, truly, exceptional. A spectacular pick for a mother of the bride/groom, but I’d wear it to almost any black tie situation.
+I wish this dress were in my closet.
+La Coqueta’s new spring collection is so adorable — I love this dress.