I experienced a moment of burnout earlier this summer, and I saw it coming from miles away, like a storm forming over over water, raindrops piercing the epilimnion with increasing proximity. I’d said “yes” to too much, even in spite of my staked interest in a soft, slow summer. And so I woke up and the walls were closing in. I found myself buffeted by a thousand somersaulting thoughts, that feeling of being submerged. Where to begin? – my staccato sunrise salvo. This is never the correct question to ask when anxious, because it points us toward “the to do” rather than “the take care.” And against all odds, the best way to get out of a spiral is to stop moving entirely. So I lived out my own creed, this desiderata I’ve been compiling here on the blog for the past many years: I practiced gentleness.
On that day, I sat outside, on my favorite top step perch. I finished a book. I exercised, but slowly — taking a 15 minute break after my run rather than hurtling inside to my calisthenics and weights. Stretching on the mat between videos. Laying in shavasana. I drank liters of water. I permitted myself a full everything shower, and then undertook a long mask program, sitting outside eating cherries with my son in between applications. I moved gently; I took care of myself as though sick. I let the air dry my hair. I told myself at least six times: “remove the tongue from the roof of your mouth.” I aimed to be the lowest heart rate in the room. I watched the birds from my studio window: a pair of sparrows chasing one another all afternoon. I noticed the male’s dapper black collar, and welcomed his chirruping notes. I correctly identified a black-capped chickadee, remembering the first rule of birding — to look at the bird — and reminded myself that in birding, as in life, patient noticing is always rewarded. I talked to Landon about everything on my mind, letting things out in a tumble, mis-matched and odd-angled, all tines and tangles, and he said all the right things, which — when you are in the grip of worry — is mainly nothing at all: just head nods and “I understand” and “that is a lot” and “I see you.”
Reader, it works, this soft kind of care. This quiet rebellion against the flood of the everyday. This cosseting of the head and heart and body. This therapy of the slow and silent. There is a reason why there is a millennia-long tradition of people proclaiming the merits of deep rest, communion with nature, sequestration. Call them hippies, call them priests, call them poets: they know how to quiet the agita.
What do you do when you are in a moment of burnout? How do you take care of yourself?
Post-Scripts.
+These days — yes, the anxious ones! — are all parts of a good life.
Shopping Break.
+This dusty hydrangea dress is perfect for an end of summer gathering. For something a little peppier, how fun is this lemon-motif option?
+Another hat to consider for this summer — $50 and personalized!!! (More great summer hats here.)
+A huge M.Z. Wallace sale happening, and it includes their classic medium metro in a great blue color, this fun-colored belt bag, and this itty bitty crossbody, which I have been using this week for camp drop off (just holds keys, phone, card).
+This printed side-tie skirt is a big yes. While you’re there, these pointelle tees are perfect.
+Fun new pattern on Julia Amory’s Gidget set.
+I’ve been testing a bunch of different laundry detergents this year. I tend to come back to Tide for everyday stuff because I think it’s the best at getting clothes clean and I don’t find the scent offensive or as concentrated as other drugstore varieties, and then use fancier scented options for sheets and towels. I’m really excited to try Koala Eco’s just-launched detergent next. I like the ethos of this brand and that it has no synthetic fragrances, but is scented.
+A few other new-to-me, elevated home cleaning brands I’ve been loving this year: Preston Lane for countertop spray and Biom for wipes. Biom (like Eco Koala) uses no synthetic fragrances AND has high end scents (santal, neroli!); you can refill the dispenser — and the dispenser is attractive enough to keep out!; and is designed to be safe for both counters and skin. It’s really a cool product in that sense; you can use to wipe hands or clear off sticky syrup residue from a chair.
+Elevated basics brand LNA is offering a sale at the moment and it includes this INCREDIBLE gray sweatshirt (I know – a great gray sweatshirt?! – but it is sooo soft on the inside, almost like a Barefoot Blanket, and has a great fit and vintage details) and this perfect burnout tee, which I like to wear over swim.
+Some very sweet new arrivals at Mille (reminder that JEN15 gets you 15% off) — love the pattern on this top and of course we all love the Saffron dress (now in a fab new summer print).
+More bandana print chicness! (You know I live for a pouch.)
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