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It has been difficult to pursue this fictional project I’ve been teasing out. For one thing, writing fiction is violently dissimilar from writing in my usual medium, which is essay, musing, memoir. It feels like going from fly fishing to shark-wrangling? There is so much to wrap my hands around, and it’s all thrashing wildly. Sometimes I think I’ve got a fin, and it turns out to be a tooth — pointed, and small. Other times, the entire shape slips out of my grasp, leaving bubbles in its wake. I compose entire paragraphs as I drift off to sleep, convinced I’ll remember in the clear light of morning, and instead find something else, or nothing at all, when I rouse. Awhile ago, a friend and fellow writer described me as “a good line writer.” I didn’t know this was a casting. Is there any other way to write? (Aren’t we all writing lines?) But as I’ve made my way through multiple chapters and back stories, I realize what she meant by contradistinction: to be novel writer, you must also understand plotting, and climax, and dialogue. These are skills different from shaping a good sentence. So I am learning. The whole enterprise is taking a lot longer than I’d like, but —
When I am in a flow, I am having the time of my life. I have found myself crafting playlists for each of the characters. This week, I added Smashing Pumpkins’ “1979” to the one for the lead male (love interest). A Magpie reader commented on Thursday: “Do men just look hotter in light jackets? I had never actually considered it before now, but I think this might be a thing.” I found myself applying her dictum to the draft: one less layer for the beau, please. Just a barn coat for him.* I think about what he would eat for breakfast, and the kind of bedding he’d use in his small Manhattan bachelor pad.
Which is to say, I am porous as paper. Isaac Asimov once described writing as “thinking through my fingers.” This is how I’d best capture what essay writing feels like. But writing fiction seems to not only be happening at the fingertip but at every extremity of my body: I feel right now like an enormous funnel, filtering my daily life into, and through, these imaginary characters. It is fun, and strange.
But it has been, to my initial point, challenging to find space in my schedule to sit and write, because fiction demands more wide open time and I find it vexing to the point of mad-making to go at it in stops and starts. The only times I’ve made real progress on it, I’ve had to start after the children are down and the dishes are in the dishwasher, and then I am awake until the wee hours, and a disaster the next morning.
This past week, I mentioned this to Mr. Magpie, and we decided it might be fruitful for me to go away for a night or two, just to write. I’ve never done anything like this before and wonder if the muses will comply with the timetable, but I’m going to do it! This week, I’m trying one night away to test the waters. If yielding, perhaps I’ll go away for another night or two next month. I can hardly believe it. I’ve wanted this untrammeled time to write for over a decade now. When you are young, time is nothing but time, and you squander it, or don’t recognize its bounty. I feel indebted to Landon for this gift. I asked for it, and he said: “Whatever you need.”
Hoping I am back next diary with a good catch.
*Katie of Beach Reads and Bubbly made a hilarious comment during her live-streamed book club event earlier this month about some books — specifically romance books — needing “character stylists.” She specifically mentioned there are far too many jean shorts on male leads for her taste. Ever since she made the point, I’ve been more appraising in the wardrobe stylings of characters I’m encountering. I just read a truly bad romance this week (not “bad in a good way” — just bad) and there was a description of the love interest wearing shorts that “came down over his knees to reveal a thick calf” (paraphrasing). The image this conjured…! It unstuck every positive mental image I’d been collaging. It was exactly how I felt when I saw Travis Kelce in that Gucci hat two weeks ago. Not good. Anyhow – a nosy query, but LMK if you start noticing badly styled characters, or, on the contrary, well-styled characters. I think Katie might have a future in this narrow line of work.
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A few photos from this week —
Getting into the swing of fall with a dark red mani (OPI’s Got the Blues for Red) + chocolate brown + mums + all the fall Linnea scents (10% off with MAGPIE10)
Morning coffee. Mr. Magpie brings it to me, doctored exactly how I like it, in my studio. Filed under “Good Things Are Always Happening to Me“
Fall extracurriculars in full swing / strum: mini is taking private guitar lessons with an instructor who specializes in pop and rock. She has wanted to play guitar since she was two, and called it “a kitt-arr.” Over the summer, she took group guitar lessons every day for almost three weeks. We were blown away by how quickly she picked it up and learned how to read “Tab” (judging from the recital we saw at the end of the period) — she didn’t even have a guitar at home and was quite capable! Kids are sponges. We are now about to buy her a guitar, and picks, and the whole nine. The first thing she played with her instructor was the opening riff of Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” which is one of our collective family’s favorites! We’ve been playing a lot of Nirvana in our carpool this week…Meanwhile, a cool guy I know in his Montgomery County Little League outfit. One thing I love about my son is that he, unlike me, has a temperament made for sports. He is always so positive about himself, about the sport, and is unphased by misses, failings. I know he’s young so maybe he just hasn’t grasped it yet, but — it is so reassuring.
My boy’s first night in his big boy bed! He was ecstatic. We were long overdue in this upgrade department, and I love the way his room feels now. (Some of my favorite details from his room here. We went with a Pottery Barn bed, Saatva Youth mattress, PB sheets and duvet.)
Carpool makeup refresh: My favorite everyday blush (color: AFTERGLOW) and Merit Lip Gloss
Precious cargo: A delicious lunch, and a delicious handbag. I was bringing my Dad a birthday lunch — we both love Italian subs, and the ones from Capo Deli (Cabin John) are so good.
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Some Sunday shopping poetry:
CHIC FALL COAT THAT KEEPS SELLING OUT // LOTION STONES // EVERLANE SWEATER ON SALE // NECK SCULPTING CONCENTRATE // PERFECT FALL FAMILY PORTRAIT DRESS // “A BOUQUET OF PENCILS” FOR FALL
The perfect dress for fall family portraits. I predict it will sell out for this reason. // Everlane is running a 30% off sale that ends to day – don’t miss this sweater (in dreamy blue!) and these wardrobe-essential turtlenecks. // Alex Mill’s Chiltern jacket in red sold out overnight, but they’ve made it available for pre-order again. It’s so good. Giving 90s Andie McDowell driving a wood-paneled Volvo. // I’ve given these lotion stones as gifts to multiple friends – they come beautifully packaged in a wood case and smell divine. Great for those friends who are into green beauty! // A really good coat from Gap. // UBeauty released a tightening/lifting concentrate specifically for neck and decolletage (20% off with JENSHOOP). I recently learned that women are getting botox in their necks and this reminded me of the classic book of Nora Ephron essays, I Feel Bad about My Neck. Hilarious, poignant, smart read. // Also Nora Ephron, via Tom Hanks: “Don’t you love New York in the Fall? It makes me want to buy school supplies… I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address.” This is the bouquet she meant, I’m pretty sure. Paper/pen enthusiasts are obsessed with them. // Suede top layers are trending for fall. This is SO good and selling fast. //