In recent years, I’ve wandered away from the notion of “new year’s resolutions” and instead set an “intention” for each year. (Last year’s was “flow,” and years prior have included “grace” and “gentleness.”) Intention-setting feels gentler as an approach to self-improvement, and I like the practice of using the word as a “base-line” or “recentering tactic” over the course of a day, week, month. “How well did I model ‘flow’ today?” is the perfect, lightweight-but-generative dusktime audit. (I’d give myself middling marks on this intention, if I’m honest. I still found myself bristling, rushing when I did not need to, straining against the way things unfolded. However, I did cultivate awareness in this area. I am now hyper conscious of when I am not “letting things go” / “going with the flow.” I see myself as the jutting stone around which the stream is forking. This is a promising diagnostic ability. It will take more work to instinctively, rather than retroactively, bend, though. A few big turning points for me this year were letting go of some of my parenting bugaboos (for example, letting my daughter more or less dress herself), embracing the concept of “a soft landing,” and really, truly learning that not all things in life resolve to a fine point, and that sometimes I must leave it as it lays.)
An encore of the “flow” intention would probably suit me well for these reasons, but I found myself reaching for something else:
Stretch. Not in the sense of “straining to make things work” or “reaching for bigger goals,” but rather: sitting in the center of a room, sprawling out. Shaking out my limbs, leaning elastic, unfurling into the day.
I think what I really mean is: making space. Giving myself more margin. Giving others the same. Truly being present — taking up room, focusing, bringing my whole self — in the areas that matter to me. Replacing fractions with whole numbers: I don’t want to give 75% of myself anymore because the other 25% is frittering away focus in some other, lesser important domain.
So here is my yogi-like 2024 program: stretch and make space.
Do you have a word of an intention for the new year?
Post-Scripts.
+On a more tactical level (and all of these “ladder up” to my “make space” intention!), I’d like to read a little bit every day and get outside more often.
+What are you “sending out” into the world on an average day?
+Constraint and the unseen doula.
+The fallacy of open time.
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Shopping Break.
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+Love the look of this bold gold drop earrings. Look for less with these, or in fun color here.
+Wearing these jeans with a metallic turtleneck (this VB would be a major upgrade pick option — love the subtle drape) to hang with a girlfriend tonight for a cocktail!
+Chic way to display a coffee table book. We also love this (collapsible!) cookbook stand for cooking in the kitchen. Handsome enough to leave out if need be, but can also collapse flat and be stowed with cutting boards.
+This floral vest is calling my name.
+Love these classic black slingbacks. Dior vibe.
+A fabulous, outfit-making cardigan.
+My kind of every day dress for slightly warmer weather. I saw this and thought it’d also be good for post-partum — nursing-friendly, loose-fitting, but pulled together. Could be cute for a newborn photo shoot. Related: over the years, I field lots of questions about “basic dresses” that can be worn infinity ways. This navy one is one of those unicorn dresses. Dress up, dress down. Classic but not uptight.
+Love this bedside table. The pull-out tray is so clever, and I love when they offer storage — why not?! Keep everything hidden in there that need not be accessible at all times.
+Just ordered my kids these ski socks. More sizes here. (I got Mr. Magpie these.)
+This plush sweatshirt turtleneck looks dreamy.
+Rainy day activity to tuck away for your kids when they’re on day 235 of winter break.
+Gorgeous winter dress. The hot pink velvet! Contemplating for my husband’s January birthday!