I have been bringing minimagpie to Mass with me every Sunday. Lately, she has taken to screaming at her toys during the service. Not crying, not fussing — just casually berating her Sophie or her wubbanub at the top of her lungs. On the one hand, it’s hilarious and I love to see my sassy little chickadee giving her toys a piece of her mind, but on the other hand, I can just imagine my parents: “Can you believe that mother didn’t take her child out of the Church? So distracting!” So I will often relegate myself to the vestibule and sit behind glass, listening to the priest over video instead so as not to bother the churchgoers. I sometimes wonder if I’m losing the point of going to Mass by sitting, removed, in this space with other parents with young children whirling around me. I sometimes wonder if I shouldn’t leave minimagpie at home with Mr. Magpie until she’s a little older. I sometimes wonder if I’m taking anything meaningful away from Mass when I sit so far away from the priest and the congregation and it’s admittedly difficult to focus on the readings while balancing a squirming babe on my hip.
This past Sunday, a mother who looked to be eight or nine months pregnant came into the vestibule with a toddler in major meltdown mode: kicking, screaming, punching, crying. She had a look of exasperation on her face as she tried multiple different tacks: “do you want to play over there?”; “why don’t you sit here?”; “a snack?”; “come give me a hug.” I was exhausted for her and empathetic to the situation, but lost track of her as I attempted to tune into the Gospel–about a mother imploring Jesus to help her child–while bottle-feeding mini.
About ten minutes later, I noticed the mother had traveled to the end of a corridor and was sitting, with her back to me, on a bench. Her son was continuing his tirade. Another woman who looked to be in her fifties emerged from the bathroom and paused at her side.
“Are you OK?” she asked. I couldn’t hear the mother’s response, but the older woman tilted her head, then sat down beside the mother and put an arm around her. “We sometimes forget how hard it is with these little ones. I’ve been there. You’re doing great.”
When the mother turned her face, I could see that she had been sobbing.
I no longer wonder whether taking mini to Mass, even when sitting in a glassed-out area of the Church, is meaningful. I have re-told this story to at least a dozen people because it moved me so deeply–it has compelled me to re-think my characteristic reticence when it comes to approaching strangers and reminded me to keep my eyes (and heart) open: there are little lessons all around me. Witnessing this casual act of kindness was the Gospel.
On a more frivolous note: I always dress up for Mass, usually in a dress but occasionally a blouse and jeans. Again, my mother’s voice in my head: “Can you believe that woman was wearing that ratty t-shirt to Mass?” At the end of the day, better to go and wear what you want than not to go at all, but I agree with my mother. I’m reminded of a quote I recently read from an interview with the designer Rosie Assoulin: “I learned from my grandmother that getting dressed up is not only for vanity but to show respect for the people you’re meeting.” Here, here, Rosie. (Also, I love your stuff and wish I could afford it.) In her honor, my top picks for Your Sunday Best, whether sitting in the vestibule of your Church or sitting down to a fried chicken supper with friends…
Sunday Best Look No. 1: The Little White Dress
Anyone who knows me knows that this Carven LWD (on sale for $330) is v. much in my wheelhouse. I love a nipped-in waist, I love stark white (so impractical with a baby and dog but oh wellll), and I love the broderie anglaise detailing. I am not joking when I say I own about six white dresses very similar to this one and wear them regularly to Mass. I wear them most commonly in an outfit fairly similar to the one Rachel of Pink Peonies is wearing above: with my Valentino Rockstud flats in white, which I still love and cherish (who knew they’d have longer staying power than a season or two? — and you can score some gently used ones on Real Real), my pink Wildfox shades (my baby pink ones seem to be sold out but these are similar, and I am obsessed with these by Carla Colour), and my Annabel Ingall leather tote ($415).
Other LWDs you’d find me in:
+This belted N/Nicholas style (on sale!!! — though I’d need to investigate how deep the vee goes…may be too much for Church).
+This drool-worthy Ulla Johnson.
+I am absolutely obsessed (!!!) with this Place Nationale midi style. OBSESSED. I can’t even with it. It will be mine.
+This lace-y wonder (under $100)!
+This timeless-looking white tunic (on sale for $93) — does it remind anyone else of the American Girl Doll Samantha’s sailor outfit?! Love.
Sunday Best Look No. 2: The Striped Shirtdress
On days where I want to look a little more buttoned-up, I love a timeless poplin stripe, like this Tory Burch beauty ($365), some smart flats ($120), my favorite black shades ($69), and a black tote (Cuyana, $195 — I MUST OWN THIS BAG FOR FALL).
+Get the look for less with this $80 TopShop striped dress — one of my favorite affordable finds for fall (and P.S., more wallet-friendly fall goodness), equally appropriate for the classroom, the conference room, the board room, etc.
+Alternately, in a different colorway, this $76 steal is so easy-chic.
+This Derek Lam stunner is GORGEOUS.
+Loveee the flared statement sleeves on this Banana score.
+And, talk about TIMELESS and AGELESS: this Polo Ralph Lauren shirtdress would be just as chic on a 20 year old paired with Supergas (select colors on sale, including my go-to gray!) as it would on an 80 year old paired with kitten heels (love the tortoise shell print! Very Jackie O.).
Sunday Best Look No. 3: The Ol’ Blouse and Jeans Situation
Finally, I am also always a huge fan of pairing an elegant blouse (this $95 steal looks a lot like a Zimmermann!) with skinnies (I still favor J. Brand above all other denim lines) and a heel (to sorta compensate for the casual-ness of denim). You know I’m obsessed with my Tory Burch Tatianas (on sale for $245!!!)
Other blouses I love for Sunday Mass:
+This oversized bow style ($148).
+This lemon-print style, on sale for $299 PLUS an extra 40% off. (And, more of my favorite picks from this sale.)