I sometimes joke to my sister that my weekends could be summarized as “me moving piles of things from one corner of my house to another.” I spend my Saturdays and Sundays rounding up loose socks, shed sweatshirts, piles of drawings, handfuls of Legos, stray snack wrappers, and vagabond toys so I can return them to their proper homes. I can’t remember the last time I went up or down a flight of stairs without an armful of something. What is this compulsion? The items inevitably redistribute throughout the house, subject to some household variety of the Brownian motion principle. And so why do I do it? (Domestic Sisyphus!)
I am thinking of a friend I visited a few times in her home in New York before I had children. She was much more laissez faire about the bric a brac of her baby’s stuff and — well, her life stuff, and I found it charming. We would sit at her dining room table playing cards, or idling over a cup of coffee or a glass of wine, and there would be a burp cloth, a tea mug from breakfast, the vitamin D drops, a half-read magazine opened to a specific page, a postcard from a friend, a box of fancy seeded crackers, a receipt from last night’s delivery dinner scattered across the surface. I always thought to myself: “These are the markings of a life well and fully lived, and so why would you put them away?” The objects signified the richness of her world, and the relationships in it, and I found it all so winning. Like, here is my wonderful life, and some of its contents are spilled right down the middle of the counter, and I have no desire to corral it. She had a home, and a life, that were — to quote Matt Haig — “baggy enough to live in.”
Despite the deep impression this made on me, I find it difficult to follow suit in my own home. Part of this is personality (organized in all facets of my life), part of this is learned (my parents were also tidy — my mother would return her kitchen to its factory setting every night before bed), and part of this must have been shaped by our four years in New York City, where you simply had to put things away or you might not have a place to sit. But we have space now. And the amount of energy I exert over putting things back in their places is outrageously disproportionate with effect. I know this is an oddball resolution, but in 2025, I want to spend less time tidying, and more time living. I’m going to challenge myself to only one put-things-away session per weekend and see what it feels like. Will it really matter if the Uno cards are still on the kitchen counter tomorrow morning, inviting an impromptu breakfast round? Or that the markers are strewn across the coffee table, waiting for little hands to intermittently doodle with them? My thinking is that leaving some of the stuff of our life out will not only mean less busywork for me but more opportunities to live where my feet are, and to let my kids know they can live a baggy life at home, too.
Post-Scripts.
+More thoughts on living a baggy life.
+How do you handle household chores?
+My playlist for dish-washing, folding laundry, etc.
Shopping Break.
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+URGENT: the Toteme t-lock clutch is 40% off here. I am so tempted by this…I may pull the trigger.
+A few other great buys that are also a part of the Net A Porter sale: Loewe sneakers, Westman Atelier makeup (!!!! 40% off!!!), my feather trim pajama set (chic enough to wear out – I’ve worn to cocktail parties in the past! – this is what you want for NYE!), Zimmermann eventwear, and Doen dresses to live in next summer. (I wear this one SO MUCH — very lightweight, airy, comfortable; can be worn belted or not. If you are pregnant, this is for you! Nursing friendly, works with bump, soft and lightweight.)
+Everlane just brought back their bestselling “laidback” sweats. Grab while you can – these will sell out. I love the silhouette. You could tuck a button-down into them / pair with a chunky knit for a polished athleisure look.
+Just ordered another pair of these jeans. They are my FAVORITE. So stretchy and yet hold you in. Love the cuffed option!
+Have been living in this sweater jacket since it arrived. So cozy. The only thing I want to wear right now!
+OK, this concealer is unbelievable. I am very picky about concealers — I swear I hate most of the ones everyone else seems to love (not a fan of Nars, Kosas, etc) — but this one is very, very good. Brightening, good amount of coverage, but not cakey. I’m obsessed. I really like this brush to apply it with. This is ultra-niche, but I find I swipe too much with other brushes, which defeats the purpose; this one really encourages me to dab and dot the concealer on and therefore helps me really place the product where I want it.
+A lot of you have been raving about this F+E look for less.
+Tuckernuck’s resortwear assortment is divine. I love this Emilia-Wickstead-esque dress, and this lilac caftan!
+Great new arrivals at J. Crew: this cashmere tee, this high-end-looking poplin top, and this fuzzy cardigan!
+I saw an ad for this “bisou balm” that totally sold me. I am going to order to test! Always looking for lipstick options that aren’t too lipsticky and apply more like a balm. My go-to everyday lipsticks are from a smaller brand that I love called Queen Musia — the consistency is SO good (creamy), and I love the colors Madame Bovary and Dorian. They are these perfect pretty everyday pinks that aren’t too matte or pigmented — just right for a finished look that doesn’t scream “I’m wearing makeup.” I layer these over Chantecaille’s splurgey rose de mai lip balm. It’s not technically a primer but I find this balm and the QM lipsticks are the most elite combination.
+While we’re talking cosmetics, I just rediscovered this viral blush in the back of my makeup bin. It is SO good, and so powerful! One dab goes a long way. I have the happy color and it’s the most joyful shade of pink.
+Now is the time to pick a planner for 2025! For several years, I’ve used these inexpensive ones from Amazon because I like the format (I organize my to-dos by calendar day, and this gives me enough space to add everything and doodle/take notes), but I love the elegant ones from Appointed, and Emily Ley sent me this one already so I’m going to give it a try!
+Love this butter yellow sweater.